Riding The Throat Cancer Road

01-30-2012 Rathfoot Follow-Up & Update

2012-01-30T08:29:00.000-08:00

We just got back from Dr. Rathfoot's office. He scoped me and looked around and seen no cancer... thank God. So that news was great. He is concerned that I am not far from a trach though because of the damage, the opening is still unchanged. He asked if I have a hard time breathing, which I do. Mostly though in hot or cold, lately if we build a fire and smoke comes out. That usually happens when we open the fireplace door. So we're still holding our own for now but he is worried that could change with the right event.

He wants me to do Hyperbaric O2 again. It did halt the progress of the damage and he is hopeful it will reverse it now that it has seemed to have stopped. The O2 at night was apparently not only for sleep apnea but to help with the swelling. It isn't helping with the swelling. We talked about swallowing too, which is remarkably better than it was, but not good still on some things. Rice is not a good thing. Anything too big which makes sense, but anything too small which makes no sense. He showed us on a diagram where the smaller things get stuck due to the swelling. He said time when the swelling increases I have to take an extra dose of Prednisone. I was kind of wanting to do away with it all together. Apparently that isn't possible.

I've some things to either get done or see that they get done yet from last year's storms, so I asked that we wait until the end of February if possible. Some things I can do and some I can't. Some things I can afford to pay someone for and some things I can't, so I do those myself. It just takes me a bit longer with the fatigue and breathing, probably related.

Now the good part. He felt of my neck and backed up in the chair and said I was solid! He said I had pretty big and solid muscles. I've been working on getting back strong, ways to go to what I was, but I'm slowly working on it. I told him yep but unfortunately my strongest muscle seems to be above my belt, my belly. I told him my right arm was strong too. All those fork curls, lol.

He also noted that I have some saliva glands staring to work. The dentures are partly responsible for that. Funny, my mouth has been so dry for so long that I get choked on it, and that is a good thing. In time I'll adjust.

Now the big news. Brandon has been doing therapy for years to help with his Autism. Professionals have worked and worked, until wits end. Misty had agreed to consider medication to help him get out of his shell and participate with public and in public. They seemed at a dead end. The church they have went to now, Misty said about two years, has done what the professionals couldn't do. Last night Brandon got up and sung solo and has been singing with the adult choir. We didn't get to go see it but we went that morning and he sung then with the choir. It is amazing what God can do.

We've went there a few times now and we've talked and will keep going there for a while. I'm not much on the modern churches or big ones. I think it is real and the people are real too. Nobody's flashy or trying to out shine the others. The preacher doesn't seem influenced by the "organized religion". He mostly preaches peace, love, working on one's self rather than others, kindness, and forgiveness. He reads something from the Old Testament and looks at it from a historical perspective and a lot of times in a different light than you hear out there. I delivered around it on and off for years, never paid much mind to it, thought it like the rest. I can actually feel something there.

So if you are like me and tired of religious dogma and fake acting, but missing something and live close by, it's well worth the time to check it out. Biggest thing you'll be out is an hour and a little fuel. I went to see Matt, Misty, and Josh be Baptized... but I've gone back for me. Denise is crazy about it and Megan don't mind it either. Megan says she senses something good there too. This is very similar to the way it was when I was young. The name of it is White Oak Grove Missionary Baptist Church in Hamblen County. I even found a link. http://www.whiteoakgrovebaptistchurch.com Pretty cool, they have a website.

1-12-2012

2012-01-12T19:21:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was Brandon's birthday, he is 10. Happy Birthday Brandon.

I stopped talking the Prednisone tonight, Denise said if I was going to stop it to do so by skipping every other dose, but I'm think all together. If I get any bigger I'll give Humpty Dumpty a run for his money. I'm sure the Mt Dew and lack of will power to eat less or at least skip a few meals plays a role as well as the lessened activity. I'm not even sure how coming off of it will effect my throat, but getting fat (r) ain't too healthy either. I thought about my Treadmill but then what would I hang my coat on. :)

I go back the end of the month for a follow-up with Rathfoot. Worse case scenario I have to go back on the before or after, best case one less pill to remember. Actually if I loose the weight I could drop maybe one of the BP Pills and maybe then one of the acid reflux pills.

The Neuropathy is slowly leaving my hands, a little on my face, now if the feet would just cooperate that would be another pill down.

Weird weather the last two days and the temps just dropped. Lucky for me I have my long hair, beard, and fat rolls as insulation.

1-8-2012

2012-01-08T00:05:00.000-08:00

Overcast but the rain held off for a little while today. I set the 3 posts in the back field and me and Denise tore out and placed the posts where we are rebuilding the hay lot. Today was Annie's 21st birthday.

Happy Birthday Annie!!!

So here I sat, working on Denise's computer. I talked with Sally tonight about the NHL, we have the same kind. My legs and feet look like they have been boiled the doses with Poison Oak. They burn and itch both. I think I'm going to do some treatments with the NBUVB machine. Something has pissed this stuff off and it has been like this a week or two now. Hopefully it will chill out, it's been rather painful this time.

Other than that a a few traces the cold left, I'm good. No appointments until the 30th. The yeast in my throat seems to be gone, thank God. We've almost finished the work on the house, just waiting on little things. Maybe by February we will be done. Then I work on the inside. :(

01-04-2011

2012-01-04T22:59:00.000-08:00

I can't believe I made it again, 2012... WOW! I caught a cold Christmas night that has lasted well unto today, but it's winding down finally. Denise had it (seldom gets sick) Megan, Misty, The grandkids, mom, Matt... hey I done ok. I just finished up a round of meds to rid my throat of another yeast infection, breathing was labored throughout that.

I'm getting some stamina back with the help of Caffeine. :) Soon the check-ups will start again. Meanwhile it's past time I get started on this house and buildings again. Right after the repair on the hay lot so we can catch calves to sell. I underestimated how much hay I needed this year. Wishful thinking. The Garlic is up and I'll straw them as soon as nature decided to let us get a little dry. I'm already burning wood where the garden will be this year.

I think the O2 is helping me at night if I can just keep it on. I feed like a dog that's been leashed, lol. And finally I'm half way adjusting to these teeth. They basically stay in when you want them out and come out when you want them in, lol.

I pray that all had a Happy New Year.

12-24-2011

2011-12-23T21:24:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Mom!!!

Note: I didn't mention 83. :)

12-20-2011

2011-12-20T20:38:00.000-08:00

Mom has surgery on her cataracts today. All went well. Dr Lindsey was quite impressive. Mom said he said a prayer before surgery and I went in with her for the follow-up and when he was done he said a prayer with her and for her. That is something you just don't see enough.

The Llama that has been on vacation finally got back home on her own. She has traveled around the neighborhood and still not settled down enough to get near. Me and Megan fixed the fence, took the tractor and shoved the 70 + ft tall fallen tree back over the line where it came from. I took Big Ugly and got a new gate at TSC, then took dad's truck and got 2 rolls of wire while they were on sale.

Now with the Llama comes a weird tale. She stayed in the field with the cows after an unsuccessful attend by a Llama Assoc to catch her. I had signed papers saying that if they catch her they could have her. I didn't want to see her get hurt or cause hurt to someone. She has never been tamed so she will not come to calling her. Anyway, don't ask me why but those nights that I quit breathing, sometimes weird things happen. I noticed that she wasn't in the field with the cows, so me and Megan tracked her to the woods that joins us on this side of the road. She wouldn't go through the electric fence the neighbor has up. I went back later just before dark and heard a hoot owl hoot, a sign of death. I worried about her making another journey. That night I could have swore that Denise said not to fear, the Llama was safe and back in the field eating hay with the Donkeys. I saw somebody tell me just to look at the hay and it seemed so real. I asked Denise if she told me that, she said no. A few hours later I started to leave and remembering what I was told, I looked toward the hay. No Donkeys near, but there with the sheep and goats stood the Llama eating the hay. Strange.

Strangest thing now, happened about three times in the last few days. With or without O2 at night, I wake up freezing, and I mean freezing. The only time I've ever experienced this kind and depth of cold was when the Angioplasty collapsed the night I had my heart attack. All three times I took a blow dryer and made it blow under the covers, and it took everything I had to get it and hook it all up. It's an unnatural cold that I can't explain. It happened twice while sleeping on the couch with no O2, (knees ache from coming rain), and so I went to the bed the next night with O2, and it happened even with the O2. It's not a feeling that I like but at the same time it is becoming too familiar. This is like the cold of death feeling. That doesn't scare me but I'm not real fond of waking up and battling it either. I dare not mentioning it to the doctors.

12-17-2011

2011-12-16T22:44:00.000-08:00

Nothing really has changed since my post health wise. I'm holding my own still. I have found out though that cold weather is like hot weather, not too easy to breathe in. Everybody caught a cold and it was bad. I caught a touch of it but for all the negative for not having Saliva Glands that work one benefit, it helps stay the cold up stairs. :) Swallowing is still a chore and the smaller the particle the easier to get choked, so the Predisone is a blast. I'm down to 7 pills in the morning, 2 mid day, 6 at night... none are addictive. 3 of those have to do with the heart and BP.

Megan has a boy friend that has come over a couple of times, he seems nice. He is intelligent, a history buff, has an expanded vocabulary, Respectful, kind, humble... but most of all, he is gentle with Megan. I worry though that he may not have enough to eat. His cars power steering is out and I told him we'd fix it but he hasn't come back this week since Megan is away at Denise's mom and dad. She is suppose to come home tomorrow. The dogs outside are lost, the cats are lost, Ms Hen and the rest are lost (she sneaks and tosses them dog food), peacocks seem a bit lost, and we definitely are. I went to feed the cows and the neighbor's dog was lost, even the cows looked for her. Misty has my twisted sense of humor and Megan my come what may attitude. Annie has Denise's quick temper and independence.

Last week I fixed the power steering on the tractor. We've 32 cows and calves now, last I checked, more to be born yet. I worked on Big Ugly some. I think it needs a priest cause I'm pretty sure it's possessed. If it ain't I've cussed it enough to be, lol. I need it to go to TSC and get a new gate and T-Posts while they're on sale. If it ever dries up we're setting a new gate and fence by the hay lot. Installed an electric fence, then tested it on puppy, lol. She was born in March 2011 and is way over 100lbs and stands on her hind legs about 6 feet tall, hence the need to go around the chain link fence with electric since she jumps it. It worked. :)

So tomorrow we go Christmas shopping, I have mine pretty much all done. I miss dad. He was the hardest besides Denise to buy for. Neither of them are material at all. Me, I have a list, and come Christmas dinner when what is left of us is standing and sitting around there eating together, that is my list.

So if I don't post before Christmas, Merry Christmas.

12-03-2011

2011-12-03T21:34:00.000-08:00

Well, time for an update. Denise, Megan, and mom have been real sick, mom is coughing up blood now plus blowing it out of her sinuses. Misty is trying to catch it too, or should I say trying to avoid it. I've caught a dose of it, especially the intestinal thing and aches. It seems though to stay in the sinus region and I may have figured out why. The lack of working Saliva glads keep my mouth dry and the drainage seems to be stopping there. Yea I know, gross.

Tomorrow Misty, Matt, and Josh are getting Baptized. We will attend and who knows, maybe we've found a church after all these years, but we shall see.

The Llama is still out and we are still unable to catch her. She is hanging out at the Police Chief's house. His wife called the Humane Society who in turn called a Llama Society who says they can catch her if I give her to them. I agreed to do that. I don't want her getting hurt or causing someone to get hurt, plus she needs to be with her own kind.

Me and Denise went to Knoxville again today and got some of the doors we were talking about getting. They didn't have all the sizes we need so we will have to go back again for the last three. On the way down we finished up Misty's Christmas present. If you read this kid, I ain't tellin' you exactly what this piece is, but it is from the Lodge Store in Sevierville. Denise also picked up a Pizza Pan, Bread Pan, and a deep pot while we were there. Now time for a little funny. It is so hard to find affordable cookware that is safe. Here is a bit of info. Revere sells a stainless steel with a copper bottom. Lodge is the ONLY manufacturer that makes Cast Iron Cookware in the USA. Mercola has some good cookware. You can cook on a glasstop range with good cast iron cookware and even can with a certain model of Presto Canner. Aluminum is bad, clad of not. Nonstick doesn't have to scratch to be toxic, the fumes it puts off is. Porcelain Lodge Cookware is the only one I know of that is made right here in the USA. Actually it's made in Tennessee.

While we were there at the Lodge Cookware Store, a nice young man came up to us as we were standing at the big thing where the Handle Holders were. Those familiar with Cast Iron Cookware know they do get hot to touch and the larger skillets and pans have a second handle to grab onto at the opposite end shaped like a crescent moon. He asked if he could help us as I had just handed Denise the Crescent moon shaped holder to check out. She handed it back to me. The young man asked if I knew what they were for. I opened it up, peered inside of it, looked back at him, raising it up to my nose and said, "To blow your nose in". He smiled and said, "No sir, it is for the small grab handle on the other end of some of the cookware". I looked back at the holder, looked at Denise then back again at the holder and said, "See, I told you it was not to blow your nose in." The smile came off his face and he slowly backed up and begin to leave. I said, "Here, you wanna see?" He made a point to be wherever we weren't the rest of the time we were in there. :) God help me, I love doing stuff like that, lol.

Happy Thanksgiving

2011-11-24T21:48:00.000-08:00

I meant to say this earlier, but food got in the way. :)

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

11-18-2011

2011-11-18T23:18:00.000-08:00

Been a week. They thought Denise's dad had a stroke but a check and that wasn't why he suddenly passed out. It's looking more like heart. He is back home now and resting well.

I forgot to go get a check-up on my finger this week. It don't bend all the way yet and still large, but it's there. :)

Rathfoot ordered a pulse ox check, so I slept with a monitor on my finger. Bad news is, at sometimes during the night I must have decided to sleep on the couch. That means I unhooked from the O2, which actually happens quite frequently. I'm sure my levels will be low. For the most part I think I do feel a little better when I keep it on a while.

One of the two teeth came out, post and all. Morristown Dental Center got me right in and placed it back. I now have a mold that I do a 10 minutes Fluoride treatment with every night.

Me and Megan fed the cows, another calf born. So far, that makes six this year. No Buzzards this time again. It might be that we run them off and it might be the neighbor's dog. He looks for us to feed and is right there. He don't bother anything, but I call him cow dawg because he loves to drive the cows. Today somebody else had a Boxer get loose. That dog was goofy and got too close to a newborn, until mom chased him off. He wasn't trying to hurt it, just curious. It's turned colder than a Well Digger's butt these last few days.

This is beautiful

2011-11-16T20:37:00.001-08:00

Veteran's Day

2011-11-11T20:25:00.000-08:00

Just a note to say Thank You to all the Veterans and their families. God Bless.

11-9-11

2011-11-08T19:09:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Josh. 11 years old. Well, actually tomorrow.

Finally back up to where I was, except fingers not healed all the way. Dr Schindler wants me to do a follow-up so maybe this week if it rains and he has space open. For two days now I haven't had it taped on the buddy system. It don't bend all the way but it will do. My neck finally got back to where it was, C5&6 are about where they were. I actually popped it in the tub. It's a 75 gallon tub and after soaking in hot water I submerged my head, shook it back and forth, and snap, crackle, pop... back to regular. I don't look like the Hunchback, swelling gone down.

Me and Megan finished one step out the back of the Sunroom. First step, over 500lbs of concrete. We got the ceiling fans up in the Sunroom too, now just the walls and the rest of the floor. Me and Megan also put a standup fountain in there and decorated it.

Misty is healing pretty quickly. Her and Matt have been picking up and dropping off the kids from school now. That was fun doing that, like old times when the kids were little. I teased Josh and told him I was going to leave out my teeth and say give Papaw sugars at the school, lol. I wouldn't do that but I love joking with the kids.

Sunday Mark called, said the buzzards were circling and we had a cow balling. Me and Megan went up there and over a dozen buzzards, give or take, were after a newborn calf. I've been around cows all my life and this was a first. The cows were in a group, holding them at bay, for how long God only knows. We shoo'ed them away, came back home and got the shotgun, but they had all left. The news said they had overproduced and were attacking calves. I've watched the skies over our cows and Mark's since then. I figure I can take care of the overpopulation problem. It makes me wonder about his and our calf losses last year. It's a strange world these days.

The O2 is fine, since the humidifier was added. Then again, I wake up sometimes and find I've slightly removed it in my sleep. (grin) Denise still hates my hair and beard, lol. Funny how people react differently to someone with short hair verses long hair, shaven verses unshaven. It's like two different worlds. Finally I'm on a diet, until Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners anyway. No change in neuropathy.

I got a very nice email from Serge Lavange with jooble-us.com. You are right Serge, I'm not sure that the blog and your website are related, but I posted you a link anyway. Thank you for the kind words.

If should I not post before 11-11-11, thank you to all the Veterans who have served. May God bless and keep you in His Grace.

Finally, Brian sent me this. It is pretty cool.

11-3-11

2011-11-03T20:34:00.000-07:00

Misty is doing fine, still a lot of pain, but she is doing good. She should know soon the results of the cist they took out. (Probably spelled that wrong). Tonight she was in pain. She slightly overdone it today.

I got maybe 3 hours sleep last night with the O2. What a headache it gave me. My sinuses were dried out along with my throat. Tonight they brought a humidifier for the O2 machine... thank God.

Michael got our shutters in today and put on the house today. The only thing we really lack now is the metal replaced on 2 garages and 2 storage buildings, Matt & Misty's bathroom floor covering. I think that is it as far as storm damage goes. Michael is coming back later though when he gets storm damage work done to do under the porch and eves in soffit.

A few of the Garlic is up, not many though, but I got faith the rest will follow.

11-2-11

2011-11-02T21:58:00.000-07:00

Misty had her surgery and was feeling a little rough today, Matt took the day off again to stay with her. They took out the cist and Gall Bladder yesterday. They are sending the cist off to examine it, maybe she will know what it was by week's end. She was feeling a lot of pain today, but I still made her laugh. She had ate some of the last tommy toe tomatoes I had picked that I brought her.

I've gotten to take the kids to school 2 times now, and again tomorrow. Annie picked them up today. I slept with the O2 machine last night. Denise awoke to an alarm and she said I had turned it off and took it off in my sleep, lol. It was OK, but I still don't see of feel the difference.

My fingers are slow to heal but they're getting there. C5&6 swelling has slowly gone down and between my shoulders is backing off, whatever you call those backbones. The cuts have went fast though. Knee is quite a bit better and elbow too. Right shoulder still a bit slow to heal.

I played with the tractor a little, let Megan drive, ran errands and we moved the ramp they used in the Sunroom, which BTW has a ceiling now, thanks to Al & Mr Fox. I go to Suntrust tomorrow to close my last account there and next week we close with AT&T on the home phone and web. We're still contemplating the cells.

Yesterday we got the fence patched up from the cows invading the hay area, they ate buffet I guess. Part of 1 row is up with the Garlic, the rest is still down. Today I went to Ms Clawson's house and moved her piles of shavings and remains of a massive tree she had cut with the tractor. She is a nice lady. When I was doing chemo and lost my hair she made me 3 or 4 Do Rags to wear and wouldn't let me pay her for them.

All in all, it's been a great day today.

Rathfoot Follow-Up

2011-10-31T21:19:00.000-07:00

We went to Dr Rathfoot for the follow up for the Sleep Study. He went over it and decided to not do the C Pap due to the throat not being able to withstand the pressure. He prescribed O2 instead. He looked into my throat and said whatever I was reacting to had apparently left, no more allergic reaction. They are suppose to come tomorrow. A good friend is a rep as well as Larry who is the owner of the company is where we went too. So we're trying this and maybe some more injections in the area if needed in about 3 months.

Misty has a mass and is scheduled for surgery in the morning. It is some kind of infection, but they aren't sure what. He is doing her surgery Immediately. They also found she has Gall Stones. They forgot the first thing. Prayers and good wishes for her please. She has 4 kids, all small.

As for my healing from the stairs, the fingers are showing slow improvement. The back C5&C6 are till swelled, and a few ways down, between the shoulders, it is miserable. And so another day goes by.

10-28-2011

2011-10-28T22:37:00.000-07:00

Slow but steady improvement. Still walking a bit slower and cautiously. Fingers still sore but all except one pops now. Muscle pain better, neck even improved a bit, still tender. Since it was raining, me and Megan went to Food City to get some food, Megan got some movies. I made sure I got non rGBH milk, but messed up even worse and bought Ultra-Pasteurized because it said Organic. Like Extra Virgin Olive Oil is worse that Olive Olive oil, pasteurization is too...oops.

Megan done better than I, one of her movies she got is named "Soul Surfer" , which The Blind Side stands in shadow of this true story. I wasn't aware Hollywood could even produce anything like that these days. I'd about challenge one to watch this without a tear.

We went looking, after Denise came home, for Cell Phones. We're torn between Net10 and Straighttalk. We've decided to leave AT&T. My phone number will be the same. After Wednesday our email will change too, well at least mine will. It will no longer be gkpet@bellsouth.net but will change to hilly7@charter.net. I close my Suntrust account out as soon as I know the UPS/IBT retirement check goes into the Credit Union, then Bye-Bye bank. I've been reading a book that at first I said wasn't worth reading, then kept on reading it for some reason. It's quite good actually and gets better as it goes along. It's called, "Not The Father Of Our Fathers. How The Doctrine of Demons Have Entered Our Churches". Not that I agree with everything he says, but it makes one think.

Monday will come too soon, Rathfoot appointment and where I'll be getting a machine to sleep with. I'll have a chat with him on the amount of pressure on it.

X-Ray

2011-10-25T17:33:00.000-07:00

The X-Ray came back and it doesn't show any fractures. C5 & 6 are bad, but that I already knew. We're giving it 2 weeks to see if my fingers heal up, he is worried about the ringer finger healing worse than the rest. The X-Ray is labeled Concussion, not sure what that is about. Kim, I give you permission to my records if you want to see them. I'll also come to you as my doctor if you ever go on your own and will take me.

I called Covenant Health Care's "Quality Control" and it was just as good as their ER services. Me and Denise now have an understanding. Do take me to that place again. It's kind of like a cliff hanger though. Did the doctor get the girl? Did she buy the stockings he approved of? Perhaps we'll never know.

Dr Schindler offer pain pills yesterday which is unusual for him to do, but I turned them down. So today Denise said to mention Muscle Relaxers, maybe they would help. I got them and took one on my way home, thank God I was close. I ain't felt like that since the 70s, lol. I haven't decided if I'll do another at bedtime yet, but if I do I think I'll cut that thing in 1/2. I was all stretched out in the recliner actually watching TV. Man those things are strong.

Update MHH Covenant Health Care Systems visit

2011-10-24T18:17:00.000-07:00

Denise got a copy of Dr Rivera's report today for her Aflack Insurance and it shows only a Morphine Injection and a finger X-Ray. He does not show cause of accident, manipulating the finger, examination of the head, neck, elbow, hands, or shin. So Dr Rivera does not document his work. Why?

I overheard Denise talking with her sister and she said the Morphine injection could have masked some things going on really bad. Now we're trying to figure out why. Was it my hair was long and I have a beard? Was it that I didn't take time to put my teeth in? It certainly wasn't that they were busy, we were the only ones there. Dr Rivera was busy flirting with a blonde headed nurse. Perhaps we interfered.

Tomorrow I'll do something I seldom do, call Covenant Heal Care's Top CEOs. For whatever excuse Dr Rivera may come up with, another doctor's report today and another hospital's records are now done. I know they own Morristown Hamblen Hospital and Ft Sanders Regional Medical, but I must say I highly suggest running the opposite way from them. Unbelievable. Perhaps the name should be changed to Covenant Non-Health Care.

10-24-2011

2011-10-24T17:01:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Little Man. Big 3.

Went to Dr Schindler today to have myself checked out. He said in all likelihood I had a concussion since I'd lost consciousness but since my headache had stopped was probably ok and didn't need a CAT Scan. He taped the ring finger to the middles finger and called it a "buddy wrap", or something like that. It helps it bend without as much pain. He wrote a script to have a neck and head X-ray so I went to Lakeway Hospital to have that done. He looked at the gash in my shin, head, fingers and neck. Turns out I tore tendons and ligaments in more than just that finger and more than just one hand. We went ahead and had him do the Thyroid check while I was there. Doc was shocked that all they done was partially set my finger, doped me up, and sent me home.

Megan helped me with some of the ceiling insulation in the Sunroom, Al and Mr Fox comes back to put the ceiling in Wed. We still lack a little. Denise is still pissed over Morristown Hamblen's ER, or lack thereof. :) Kim, I was in your hospital today. Next week, Rathfoot follow-up.

Day 2

2011-10-23T20:27:00.000-07:00

My ring finger is still swelled and it has turned red, white, and blue... black in some spots. The handrail left it's bruise under my arm. My left fingers and had are swollen. The Neuropathy takes care of most of that along with the right thumb & index finger. My neck has a huge knot on it followed by another huge knot at the base of my shoulders. The Right Knee is in pain, must have been the first down. Foot ain't go bad

I may get it looked at.

The Day After

2011-10-22T04:57:00.000-07:00

This is the second time I've awakened. For once I was right. Across my shoulder, especially the right rise, right arm, 2 fingers on the left hand and a right thumb. ribs, neck, leg. Pretty much anything on the right side. Plus a major headache that makes yesterdays headache look good. I just took 3 Ibuprofen. I think I'll lay back down again.

10-21-2011

2011-10-21T16:40:00.000-07:00

What a way to start the day. I woke up a little after 4am to use the bathroom. I didn't have anything to drink so I decided to go downstairs and get a Sierra Mist. Megan had done the usual and tossed her towels down the stairs. I was sleepy and wasn't paying much attention. I remember heading down the stairs and the next thing I knew was looking and seeing my hand on the landing in front of my face with my ring fingertip laying over the pinky finger at the 2nd joint. I was on my neck, back to the wall and the other arm was behind me. Blood was on the floor.

I yelled for help but my voice isn't all that strong. Megan probably had her hearing aides out and Denise was in bed at the other end of the house. After a while I figured nobody could hear me and I couldn't yell any louder. I couldn't get situated so that I could get up. So I jerked until I ended up flat down. Once down I walked up the stairs and at the top yelled for Denise. She heard me.

I showed her my finger and she looked shocked. I didn't realize how fast she could get dressed. She said let's go, but I was in my PJs without a shirt. I went in my bedroom and grabbed my pants, Denise grabbed me a shirt, slipped my shoes on and off we go to the hospital. I was and still am in pain.

Now comes the funny part. We get to the ER and a young doctor came in. I showed him my hand and asked if he was going to numb it. He reached to my hand, grabbed my finger and bent it back almost to where it should be, then walked out. I wasn't sure where he went, he just left the room. I looked at my finger, seen it wasn't still where it should be, so I set it the rest of the way. The ER Doctor comes in and say "Awe, you've already set it, I was wanting to do that". Then he tells me he needs to give me a shot, guess what of. Morphine.

Now I'm no doctor but shouldn't that have been given first? I didn't have enough confidence to show him anything else. No anti-inflammatory meds or nothing. They took 3 X-rays, then told me to go home and keep it elevated and on ice, like I had a choice after the shot. :) I thank God for neuropathy which lessened the pain. I wasn't aware that fingers could go that far without breaking. So we go home and Denise has to get ready for work now.

I checked out the rest of my pains when we got home. I think my elbow is maybe fractured, either that or the bone in on spot is extremely bruised. I got cuts on my elbow, forearm, head, and a huge gash in my shin. My neck and back are killing me along with the right knee. After the Morphine wore off I began to feel the index finger on the left hand and the thumb on my right hand, both are swelled. I feel like I've been in a car wreck. Man I dread tomorrow. I probably should have gone to a real doctor. Morristown Hamblen Hospital seems to be lacking something there. We got far better and concerned service taking Sasha to the Vet in White Pine.

So most of the morning I iced it down and waited out the effects of the Morphine. Then I got bored, but even taking the lid off a Mt Dew is a task. Sooo, what to do. I done the top part of the wall in the Sunroom insulation, which wasn't much. I think I've had to rest my finger at least a dozen times. I do believe it is time for the Popsicle sticks. :) I usually hold onto the handrail and I'm guessing that I still was when I got my foot in the towel. The only thing that would put a gash, especially the size of the missing skin on my shin is the part of the ceiling that is about 7 foot high in the stairway. So I assume that I must have done one of those Hollywood stairway rolls, lol.

Megan has felt guilty all day and worried about me and Denise being mad at her. She has been told at least a hundred times not to do that, but kids don't listen. I think she got that part from me, lol. I did go over no more doing that and now with an example why. As far as being mad, not much point in that. It is what it is and what has happened has happened. It could have been worse. I know today Denise was tired. I've apologized many times over for that. This day too will pass. For now, I go soak with a new book in a hot tub. I dread tomorrow, but it shall pass. Time will heal.

So this day ends with I'm sore and hurting. Denise is worn out. Megan is finally back being Megan. (Hopefully without the towel toss). :)

10-18-2011

2011-10-18T18:31:00.000-07:00

Al and Mr Fox got the rafters finished today in the Sunroom and done a great job. So now we're down to the roofs on the garages and outbuildings, plus trim. Michael is going to do under the porch in soffit, and I probably spelled that wrong, and the shutters. Denise is anxious and was a bit disappointed when the wrong color came in, but we've lived without shutters since the house was built, whats a few more weeks. :) I started he stone work for the front sidewalk, it's ground level so I know I can't fall, lol. I would say I can't get hurt but I stubbed the little finger I broke a while back. I'll try and reset it again tonight.

I think I should have put a bandanna on my neck though, a bit tight today and tonight, a bit hard to breath and painful. Then again it could be where I'm allergic to the concrete when it's dry.

We put the garlic out today, wanted to wait until tomorrow but rain tonight and tomorrow, so we done it today. Out of 3 calendars 2 showed today and tomorrow and 1 just showed tomorrow for the signs to be right to plant. We done 6 rows 25 feet long and a 7th row that is maybe about 5 feet long. I think it's the same amount we done last year. The neuropathy eased off a little today, now if the knees will give me a break.

Duddy came over on his bike. Beautiful Harley Bagger. I was surprised to see him come, usually he says he is coming but never makes it. We worked together at UPS. He was my Christmas helper sometimes, loader, and when I got hurt they had me ride with him to give him tips, like he really needed that, he was/is good. Then I ran across Igor, aka Breeze, at the Credit Union today. He has his own route now. He had pictures of his girls in his Package Car, man they've grown. I checked out the new DIAD and the automatic gas car. When I started there none of the cars even had power steering or for that matter synchronized first gears. Fans were not allowed. Now they have all of that, but too much technology. The employees are what made that place happen and put things together. Makes me worry about my retirement checks now that they're not.

10-16-2011

2011-10-15T20:26:00.000-07:00

No new energy yet, but Denise had enough for both of us until she turned an ankle. Tractor tire indent from a long time ago. We went to Lowe's and got so peat moss the hit a yard sale and came home. Talked with Al who is going to start reworking the rafters in the Sunroom. Since me and ladders don't seem to go together still yet and his labor price was reasonable.

Denise tilled the garden while I tossed rocks out getting the soil ready. I had put the leaves and grass clippings in there a few days before. Then we spread the peat moss out. Probably not enough but 3 bags. Then tilled it again and I tossed more rocks out. :) I placed some pressure treated landscape timbers at the lower end to keep the soil from washing out. We have to get a roll of plastic so that Tuesday's rain won't get the soil wet. Wednesday we plant the Garlic since the signs are right. Not a big bed by any means, 10x25 ft, but it should be big enough. We debated and still may put some more peat down and mix it in. I tossed the remain fertilizer on the bed. We will have 5 or 6 different kinds again that range in flavor, then we can start eating what is left. I went out and picked some of the Bell Peppers again and left the bulk of them to finish off, unless it frosts soon. Denise has a thing for the Red ones since she heard they had a lot of Vit C in them.

Man what a beautiful day today. Clear blue skies.

10-11-2011

2011-10-14T20:34:00.000-07:00

I got a call from Panella's nurse today on the blood work. It was all good except the Potassium was low. I use to take supplements when I worked at UPS during the summers. I didn't know that Potassium is ever prescribed as medicine, except in IV bags, seen those when I had my heart attack. He added 20meq pills for a month. Denise said it would also help to give me energy.

I'm not sure if it will help the neuropathy which seems to be in overdrive the last 2 weeks. Kind of comes in handy since so far I seem to have slightly broken my pinky and I think something in my right foot when I tripped and fell about a week ago. Certainly helps with the pain which still comes through but tolerable for the most part.

Tonight me and Denise have watched a little TV, which I normally don't do. We saw Harry Bikers eat rat, and now the 80 ways dudes eat Ostrich eggs. Denise says she wouldn't eat either... I'd try both, lol. I ate Opossum once, but I wouldn't have if I'd known what it was. Maybe it was cooked wrong or maybe the thought of road kill being cooked, but it had a horrible after taste, greasy/slimy too.

Dr. Panella Check-Up 10-10-2011

2011-10-13T19:27:00.000-07:00

We went for the regular check-up with Dr Panella today. I got a good report which was great. I think it would have been a little better if they had the last two visits from Dr. Rathfoot in my file, but it was good to hear the report from back in June. The blood work wasn't back in time for my visit, maybe Denise can get that tomorrow. I'm sure it is good though. I weighed in at a whopping 231 and some ounces, pretty much 232lbs. That would be good if I were a Sumo Wrestler, but I ain't. I could probably get a job as the "before" picture, lol. Panella suggested I loose weight and exercise. I couldn't agree more. For a moment I thought my feet were shrinking when I looked down, but still the same shoe size, may be the view. :) I stopped in the Chemo Hut and saw the ladies there. Some new faces and some familiar ones too. They were good to me when I needed it most.

He did feel what he called a thickening on bothy sides of my neck which he attributed to radiation damage. My next appointment is in 6 months and I have a chest X-Ray the day of. Throat (Esophageal) cancer recurrence is most prevalent at 2-3 years and for longer than that can follow what he calls the "tree"- Brain, Neck, or Lungs. Now a special note:

Dr Panella- If you still read this blog, I know you don't know how to take me sometimes, I am a bit odd. Denise says she is the same way. :) But know that I do listen to what you say and it does sink in and that I do value my life. I know God has the ultimate decision of life or death, but He also sent me to great doctors and nurses, and a great hospital, UT. I believe you to be a good doctor but more importantly, a good man, else I would not have stuck with you. He has provided me with great doctors, nurses, family, and friends. I know what comes next and have no fear, but I still respect life. Sometimes that comes across funny I know.

You see my friend, I am a winner no matter what the outcome is for I have lived amongst great people. Good people. Kind people. So while I am here I decided long ago that if I could make someone smile or laugh, maybe I could repay just a tiny portion of the kindness that has been bestowed upon me. Plus that is also my medicine as well. If for even one moment I can make someone forget their troubles or pain and smile, it is a life worth lived. You have to admit, I made you smile and you smile when you look at me. God knows what you are thinking, lol, but it doesn't matter, thing is, you smile. I also forgot to say thank you. I'll see you in April 2012. God Bless.

Sleep Study 2

2011-10-11T04:46:00.000-07:00

I just got back from Sleep Study 2, man what a night. I started out learning what the first sleep study results were. I forget the numbers but there were three things I done on the first one and the sleep was divided up by REM sleep and the regular sleep. I got over an hour of REM sleep in the first study but had I think 54 times when I stopped breathing. During other sleep I had a lot of shallow breathing plus times when I stopped breathing and two events where the brain was involved. If I understood her correctly it was where the brain shuts off the breathing, maybe it was turns on, but I'm, pretty sure she said turns off. On the stopping breathing just during REM sleep I remember thinking it was something like about every 2 to 3 minutes on the average. She said at 5.? one was qualified for Sleep Study with a Cpap, mine was 27.?, so I more than qualified. :)

So last night they place all those electrodes on again, I'll probably be finding them the rest of the day, lol. I'm writing this waiting for Denise to call from work, she just left, then wash the junk out of my hair and my body. I'm not really tired though it has been a long night. The ladies there are nice and good, but man what a night. The first mask didn't seal well enough with my beard, so we tried another mask. That one didn't seal well either, so they used a nose mask. Unfortunately that one sealed.

I remember them being in the room I think 4 times, I think adjusting, and once I had turned on my belly. I woke up a few times in pain, I felt pressure on my throat, lots of it. I opened my mouth to speak but air blew out it with a lot of force. This morning my throat hurts. Not the worse pain I've ever had, but it still hurts, like I've screamed all night. If only I had that capability. Good think I took my top dentures out of I think they'd have become a projectile, lol. She said I experienced events until they finally had full pressure on it all night. Even then I had some moments, so who knows. She said I would more than likely get a machine. All night I had a lot of phlegm that I could have spit out, but that damn thing gave no opportunity to to that. Thick junk. Who knows, probably what little brains I have left that thing was blowing out, lol. I managed to swallow it, and that was almost impossible, had to get in the rhythm to make sure I didn't aspirate on it.

As I understand it, and God knows I get things wrong sometimes, this thing, a trach, or a pine box is about the only three options left. I think another two surgeries where they do injections are still on the table, but the scaring damage is done. Sometimes the cure is as bad as the disease, and they ain't even sure about that, they are just looking for changes. So far all is stable, it ain't good, but it's stable so far. A trach, even if temporary is out as far as I'm concerned. This machine I'll try but I think may close the throat off with the pressure. If it does, so be it. We go nowhere before out time and what better way to go, in our sleep, best option I've seen.

So from this though I take it I will get to sound like Darth Vader and feel the force, lol. I wonder if it comes with a Light Saber? The again, I do like food so maybe I can be Darth Tater and just use a fork. Now I think I'll sleep today, its rainin anyway.

Teeth & Rathfoot 10-03-2011

2011-10-03T11:23:00.000-07:00

We went to see Dr Rathfoot today to get the results of the sleep study and a check-up. Things have finally stabilized and he liked that. He said if he were in the ER and I came through and he didn't know me though he would panic after he scoped me. Knowing me through this threw this and what has been done, he is pleased. He said I had adapted to the situation. We discussed (briefly I might add) a trach and feeding tube, which I rejected. I think just for a while, but I wasn't willy to discuss. He said I would need maybe a couple more times with injections. I can do that. I have certain things I'm willing to do and certain things I'm not.

The sleep study showed some things that aren't right, so I get to do the sequel. It showed my heart getting out of rhythm when the O2 goes to 78, not sure how many times or for how long. He told me but I forgot. So I get something to help me breathe at night but I got to do another test to find out how much pressure to do, or something like that. I made the comment I have no problem dying in my sleep, beats doing it during a heart attack or getting close to it with cancer. I said it sincerely and rather comically, but it wasn't too well received. I don't care to wear that whatever to help me breathe at night though. He said that was why I was so tired all the time.

Best though was I finally got my teeth! I went to Morristown Dental Center and they put my teeth in... and they felt great and still do. So far me and Megan ate Chicken Tenders from Hardees and some nuts. Ok, the nuts didn't go so well, lol. I still have a ways to go to get use to them, but I love 'em. It seems like forever since I've had teeth, and it some ways it has. Megan says I look younger with them in. Mark said it was like having a mouth full until you get use to them, and it does. But man can I eat. I can still taste like I did too. Uh oh, think I gained weight just thinking about it.

09-28-2011

2011-09-28T17:49:00.000-07:00

I test drove my teeth today, man they looked great. I hated to give them back or take them out. Dr Stelzman (spelling ?) said they looked good and Christy (Yellow Hair :) ) liked them too. They actually felt good. I think the bottom partial will need relining though when I get the uppers. I get them Monday and doc said I'd probably figure on coming back through the week for alignment.

Monday I also find out the results of my sleep study and also Rathfoot will probably scope me, he usually does. Now that the scopes are farther apart they have gotten harder to do where I'm not use to them. I look forward to the day maybe things can go back to normal and the only thing up my nose is the air and my finger. :) Hopefully too, Dr Rathfoot will known something else to try and get rid of the yeast infection. I went back on 5mg of Prednisone, think I quit a bit too quickly.

Denise is getting better, talked her into Vit D since she won't go to a doctor. I talked with Sally. She is having a hard time with her radiation. Please remember her in your prayers.

09-27-2011

2011-09-27T20:42:00.000-07:00

I took 5 mg of Prednisone tonight. I think I made a mistake just stopping cold turkey. I'm passing quite a lot of fresh blood again and cramping in my stomach. I go next week to Rathfoot and maybe I will not have to tell him I've stopped. My throat feels better some though, seems the other meds are fighting off the thrush mouth and yeast infection in my mouth and throat.

Denise has been sick for the last few days now. I've hovered just right above getting sick, but I've stayed on about 6k iu of vit D. I get my first trial frame fitting of the top plate tomorrow. I'll not stay inside much due to the massive CME in the region 1302 here all week.

My friend Sally isn't doing to well with her radiation. She is in pain and the stress of her mother has taken a bad turn. Please pray for them.

09-27-2011

2011-09-26T21:56:00.000-07:00

I went and got my impression made today. I go back Wed for a fitting. Then Monday for the finished product... TEETH! I may bite myself to see if it's real.

I quit the Predisoine (spelling), we could not get the yeast infection to die down, so I stopped taking it. I go Monday and will tell Rathfoot that I stopped. I don't think it will be a big deal. If it is I'll apologize and go back on it. I've got a few other pills in mind too. Denise will catch on but if she sees I'n fine without them she'd be ok with me not taking them.

Matt is working his butt off, I glad for him and proud of him. Annie is in nursing school and Megan will go to Graphic Arts.

We've 2 garage roofs to put on and some soffit when Michael gets me the price.. Oh yea, the shutters for both houses.

Denise caught a cold and I think she is sharing the wealth. :)

Fitness Can Be A Lifeline For Cancer Survivors - David Haas

2011-09-20T17:25:00.000-07:00

Fitness Can Be A Lifeline For Cancer Survivors

Mental and physical stress is definitely two everyday factors in the life of someone who has been diagnosed with cancer. Though a cancer diagnosis of any kind (including common cancers such as breast cancer and even rare cancers like mesothelioma) can cause anxiety and stress, there is something that cancer survivors can do to help improve their day-to-day well being. Cancer patients who exercise consistently have been shown to have lower mortality rates and better quality of life than those patients who are inactive. It may not be the first thing on the mind of a survivor after they come home from a chemotherapy session, but maintaining a fitness routine is vital to living the best life possible.

An informative brochure put out by the Cancer Resource Center at the University of California – San Francisco states that clinical trials have revealed some significant gains for cancer patients who decide to keep exercising while they undergo cancer treatments. For example, the conductors of the clinical trials discovered that prostate cancer survivors who exercised not only reduced their risk of developing incontinence, but they also were able to diminish the side effects of treatments like radiation and hormone therapy. For women who had received a breast cancer diagnosis, those who exercised lowered their chances of dying by 64%. These results show the importance of exercise in the lives of those people who wish to do more than just sit by and wait for cancer to take their lives. Even with just a little exercise, the quality of life and the life expectancy can be greatly improved for cancer survivors.

Though exercise may not be the cure for cancer, society can no longer deny that it significantly helps those who may be going through the mental anguish of a cancer diagnosis or the physical pain of cancer treatments. In the aforementioned document, clinical scholars at the UC-San Francisco found that all that colon cancer survivors had to do was set aside 6 hours per week for walking at an average pace to achieve a “47% improvement in disease-free survival" compared with their inactive counterparts. This means that, for some cancer survivors, a little exercise has gone a long way in helping them to stay alive. Not only will developing a fitness plan help cancer patients ease their mental stress, but it can clearly help them with the physical fight as well. There is no doubt that exercise takes care of both the body and the mind, helping survivors achieve a well balanced life.

By: David Haas

This was submitted and asked that I post this information up and is not an advertisement but info to help those with cancers. Thank You David Haas for sharing this info.

09-18-2011

2011-09-18T21:42:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I get the molds made for my upper teeth. Not sure just how long it will be after that, but it's getting close now. I'm too excited to go to bed. Michael and his crew will also be back to finish the windows, they look great so far. Tomorrow will be a good day again.

   My knee is pretty much shot, has some Arther in it, actually knees, shoulder, elbows, ankles, and neck, from injuries and stresses all those years at UPS. It does this every year until the seasons get changed and the just flair ups. Got my bottle of Tylenol Arthritis ready. :) The right one was pretty bad today, plus the yeast infection, but it is leaving slowly... Denise says. So I hobbled around just a little.

   I watched how to do Vinyl Siding on, pretty cool demo. I'm going to try that just as soon as we're finished with the concrete. I fell yesterday and bruised up a few things. Part of the neuropathy I guess, part clumsy. That might be part of the knee thing. A pony cart is pretty solid, the roll of wire wasn't too soft either, lol. Luckily the ground broke my fall. I did install and finish a plug in in the carport.

   I visited Dr Long and Jody Long's site, just in the special board that isn't public though. I go there and talk to others who've had NDEs. We have a place where we can just talk, no worries about questions, no worries what we say. It's nice. http://www.nderf.org I go there for what I call a refill.

Ordered a Framing Nailer finally, decided to get a new one, and ordered Denise's blinds. Caught up on the figures for the repairs on both houses and the lists we have left to do. We're slowly getting there and the folder is slowly filling up. I gave up and went out into public finally. Nobody seemed to notice, well, maybe a few did. We will have to wait until at least Tuesday to start back n the concrete so we don't get in Micheal's way. They have done a superb job so far.

As such another day ends... and I say Amen

09-14-2011

2011-09-14T10:16:00.000-07:00

Back down again. I slept most of yesterday. It's not that I am sick I'm just run down. Perhaps the concrete me and Megan went at hard for a couple of days or the allergy I have to it before it dries. Denise says it's a yeast infection, my tongue is coated with white stuff. Today I slept late and other than entering a thing on Purina for some kind of coupon or free cat and dog food voucher, that is about it. I have no idea what that was but Denise said to do it, so I did.

Denise killed a snake a day or so ago. Those things creep me out. I thought something was up since the Peacocks seemed to stick to me like glue lately. It's that time of year again.

So today I want to do what I said I was going to do yesterday, build a gate for Matt & Misty's new back deck. I'll have to do some modifications though since Rick and Al made no provisions to add a gate or a rail even to one side. So I'll add posts and build a rail in a tight spot. Been thinking of getting a framing nailer, but not so sure I want that expense, my building days are at end and limited now. Still, it would be a new toy, :) Megan wants to build her own Chicken Coop even though we have some empty ones open, but I can see her point.

I've done a lot of research and reading, save yesterday when I couldn't stay awake. I've lost over 10 lbs and hopefully will keep it off, due to the teeth extractions. I go the 19th for my molds to be made and hopefully I'll have teeth by the end of the month. When I get them I told Denise we'd thaw out some steaks, get some potatoes, onions, and other stuff and I'd grill a meal fit for a king. Then we start all over again with an appointment to Rathfoot and get the Sleep Study report back. I had her cancel the appointment until I have teeth.

I'm gaining strength back decently, look healthy as a horse and have more good than bad days... now if I could just get the stamina back. Oh well, one step at a time. In a way that isn't a bad thing. Most of my life I used brute force to accomplish things where now I have learned to improvise and actually think. Now if I could just remember what I thought, lol.

Why people share difficulties

2011-09-10T22:39:00.000-07:00

There just isn't much more I can say. This is why people share their experiences. Their trials and tribulations. This guy is my hero.

And just 1 more.

09-09-2011

2011-09-09T20:44:00.000-07:00

I got my stitches out yesterday, it hurt a little but only briefly, then it felt much better. Sidney said that it was impressive how fast and good my gums were healing. Denise said she gets the credit for fussing at me to constantly soak my gums in warm saltwater. :) I can eat soup now, but only soft soup, I'm slowly toughing them up. I think if I had eaten anymore soft scrambled eggs I'd have grown feathers and crowed. If I ate any more Tuna and Mayo I would grow gills. :) I went from the 231 to 221 now which is a good thing, but I want about 200. I go a little later than I wanted to get my impression for my teeth. Not exactly what I wanted, but then again I want a good fit. In the meantime I've avoided going out.

Me and Megan moved and stacked the old lumber that was in the yard to the field where the Chicken Coop is. Megan wanted to target shoot for some time now and so today I thought about it and she asks for little, so we decided to target shoot. Megan picked her 2 guns out and I picked out 2 about 100 rounds and had a blast. Megan wanted to shoot the bigger guns so we took those back and got a few other ones. Matt and Josh came back and Denise came back too, and we took about 100 or more rounds that time too. Even Josh shot. Then Megan wanted to drive a little, she hasn't learned yet though she took Driver's Ed and passed. So tonight she drove a bit before dark. I'm kind of anal about driving techniques. I had 20 plus years at UPS with no tickets or chargeable accidents. All in all we had fun.

Tonight we discussed about Megan going to school. She is 19 now. So she looked at what the Voc Tech school has to offer, she said she didn't want College. The Voc Tech school has a fancy name now but I don't recall what they changed it too. Wonder if my degree from there is still a degree, lol. We've sheltered her quite a lot. She got so use to hearing that she had limits in high school so tonight I had her watch a guy named Nick, then come back and tell me her limits. I'm going to place one of the videos he has up. She thinks autobody since it involves paint. She has a talent for paint and drawing, not to mention photography. She first said electronics, which I smiled and asked if that was because of my degree, and I think it was.

All in all, that is about it. I have to wait probably another 2 weeks before I get teeth. So I'll play hide and seek until then. Here is the video.

09-03-2011

2011-09-03T19:02:00.000-07:00

Well the first day was rough but the second wasn't too bad, nothing like I had expected. I think I took two pain pills yesterday. So far today, one. I've been soaking with warm salt water and using hot whatever that thing is on my face, just not as much as I should have. I've been reading on the web and wrote an article. I come close yesterday to going out and doing a little but I found out pretty quickly as I stirred around that wasn't too good of an idea. Hence the first pain pill, lol.

My face is still swollen a lot and I think I may have messed up the stitch in the front with my tongue. So far, no dry sockets, thank God. I go next week and Sidney will check it out and then the next week for a mold to be made. By the 23rd I hope to have teeth. Until then, my butt is staying home. When I get healed up a bit more I bought enough concrete and stuff to keep me busy without going out.

Megan, in her usual way, has been extremely attentive. She must have ran in and out of my room 100 times yesterday. She finally, when Denise was heading home asked if she could go play with Josh. Today Denise has stayed near and Megan not far off. They've enjoyed watching the Hummingbird eat out on the front porch.

I can't wait to eat normal again. Ever since the Chemo I've had to be careful what I ate, how I ate, and kept Gorilla Glue near by. Man this is going to be good. I just gotta wait.

Teeth Gone 9-01-11

2011-09-01T16:57:00.000-07:00

Denise took me to Dr Boyd's office this morning and he pulled the top teeth out. I was a coward this time and requested to be put to sleep, unlike when he took out the bottom ones. I woke up and felt some pain but not the worse I've had. After the numbing wore off, man what pain. So now, with the exception of the bottom two teeth, I'm toothless. If I understood correctly, I have one huge stitch that goes from one side to the other. lol, it grosses Denise out to look at it.

If all goes well, in about two weeks Dr Steltzman will make an impression and by the third week of this month I'll have my plate made. I've no idea how long it will take me to get use to it. I've stayed inside today, except to feed the chickens and stray cats. With the hydos I've went in and out, I'm not use to them anymore. Clots have formed and just a very little bleeding now, so maybe I won't have to do the pain pills long.

Me and Megan worked on the wall Tuesday, we got 41 block laid. It's the same wall I started earlier this year, still not done yet. Megan took to the trowel pretty good patching head joints. We backed off of it Wednesday, I lost my voice and my throat swelled up. I forgot that the anti-inflammatory meds would have to be stopped before surgery. I'll start them back tomorrow. We spend the day running errands. I bought enough chicken food to last a month and concrete to mix so I won't have to go out in public much, least that's the plan. Mom's toilet tore up in dad's bathroom so I fixed that yesterday morning, then fixed her plumbing to the toilet where her and or Annie attempted to fix the toilet before they called me. So now both are fixed.

Denise has stayed home with me today and waited on me. I'd milk it but I'd be pushing it, lol. I figure I'll stay in another day and goof off, I haven't been on the computer much lately. Rick and Al got our porch done and me and Megan built a new gate to match it. I'm going to build Mist and Matt one to match their porch too. Mom's gate has a cracked elbow, so that needs fixed too. The garden is pretty much done until Garlic planting time, save for gathering the seeds.

Dentist & Tests again

2011-08-23T18:11:00.000-07:00

I haven't spent much time as usual on the web lately and a lot of that has been researching again. Rick and Al started reworking the front porch today and will probably finish it tomorrow. They are perfectionists. I had almost lost faith in people taking some pride in their workmanship, but these guys build it like it is theirs.

I'm wore out today, I done a sleep study last night. The people there were great and the atmosphere was good. Now that Swamp People has gone off I have a new show, Top Shots, but it wasn't on last night. No internet there, only TV. I have no idea what that show was or was even about, but it was boring, I'm not a big TV fan.

   I'm not sure but I think I had more leads and wires hooked on me than a new car does. I took a sleeping pill though and was able to finally go to sleep. They woke me up once to ask if I could breathe through my nose. I didn't ask how I done but I was told I was one of the, if not the, loudest snorers they've ever had. I don't think that was a good thing, lol. Now for the fun part, if I fail I have to do this crap again! Well at least the people that are there are nice. This is the first time since I was in the hospital when the chemo and radiation went sour. Denise stayed there all but one night with me.

I finally caved though on my teeth. I've got two Gorilla Glued in, smack in the front too. One is giving some pain and both are becoming lose again. I give up, or in, depending on perspective I guess. Either way, same thing. So I rushed home this morning to wash the junk out of my hair and pull the remaining electrode pads off. Grabbed me, Megan, and mom some breakfast, took my barrage of pills, then took off. Dr Steltzman checked me out and hooked me up with Dr Boyd. He will make the impression a couple of weeks after the extractions are made to get a better fit. On the good hand I have the best working on me. On the bad side I'll be toothless, save the two in the bottom to hold my partial on.

   Man I hope I heal fast. I'll be at least three weeks with no teeth. From the steroid weight gain though, it probably ain't a bad thing. Either my feet are shrinking or my view is more restricted, same shoe size, so I'm guessing the view is blocked, lol. Here lately though it seems like I'm not doing so great at healing. My skin is like paper and after it's torn it don't want to heal back. Then again it's been Dog Days so maybe now that it has passed things will go back to normal.

   The garden is pretty much over now, the green beans I've let go to seed (eat your heart out Monsanto). A few more peppers and odds and ends, but it's about ready to tear down. I really don't want to go out without teeth, so I'll have plenty of time to do that. In about October it will be time to plant the Garlic, but aside from that, the season is over.

09-13-2011 The Ride

2011-08-13T22:48:00.000-07:00

Me and Denise headed out today. We were suppose to ride with Missy & Richard and Dale & Anna but they wanted to head to Bluff City, or something like that, towards Johnson City way. I've wanted to go to Cherokee, NC for 2 years now, so me and Denise decided to head out solo. Plus I think the trip and departure time would have thrown us riding in the dark. I can't see very well in the dark anymore. The first chemo 5 years ago done some damage but either this chemo or the Hyperbaric Oxygen therapy pretty much done the rest. They love to ride at night, I can't. Sooo the problem was fixed today.

We left here at a little before 12, went through Dandridge, to Chestnut Hill, to Pigeon Forge. We bypassed Gatlinburg but doubled back to the end and got us some KFC. We had intended on eating at the Chimney Top Picnic Area, but it was full. Denise said she hasn't been to Clingman's Dome in a while (may has spelled that wrong), so we went that way. It started raining withing a few miles of there so we turned around and found a roadside pull over and stopped. We ate on a stump on the side of the road with a fantastic view. The rain passed and on up we went, all the way there. We walked around but didn't go to the Dome. We headed back down and the headed to Cherokee, NC. We saw an Elk on the way, first time I've seen one. Cherokee has changed a lot, a whole lot since I've been there. We didn't see many Cherokee there, except the fake dancing on the streets. It has become as ugly as Gatlinburg now, too commercial and with big business. We stopped and ate Ice Cream, then headed back.

We took several stretch and butt breaks along the way, lol. Stopped at an old Grist Mill. Stopped at beautiful look out points. We worked our way back into Pigeon Forge, then came the back way into Dandridge, up the highway and home. Back home by 7pm!

I wasn't sure if we'd be going anywhere, Denise brought home a stomach bug and I had it until this morning. It seemed odd at first, but then it was nice. Just me and her. Where we wanted to go, when we wanted to go, and how we wanted to go. And of all things... my tooth stayed in!

I a going to so pay for this tomorrow, but today was worth it.

Megan's birthday

2011-08-12T09:50:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEGAN

08-09-2011 Blessings

2011-08-11T05:11:00.000-07:00

I love this song, it struck a cord the first time I've heard it. A lot of times we wonder where a song comes from and are they just hollow words written by someone to make it sound good. So I wondered how someone could write something that resonates with how I feel many times. So I'm embedding 2 videos, one a brief story behind the song, the other the song with lyrics.

08-10-2011

2011-08-11T04:37:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling the effects of hand cutting the briers behind Misty's building, thank God I don't feel the lacerations on my hands. I've remembered to massage the throat on those glands and I think it helps. The tooth is still (crossing fingers) still in, I've babied it. It's a long shot but I'd like to make it until next month, too much to do and it's still dog days. Not much pain really so far, nothing that I can't ignore.

Rick got done with Matt & Misty's deck, we're all extremely pleased with his work and amazed that he does work. His health is not good, which is an understatement. We bought the siding to repair their house and two out buildings today. Matt's uncle saw Ricks' work and asked that he come to his house and do some repairs.

Then I got busy. I flattened the front tire on the tractor. But I didn't stop there, I also managed to finish breaks off the tabs on one of the blade shaft things on the lawnmower.

I must have feel asleep right in the middle of doing this last night. My heart broke when I saw a video by Russell Means. Russell my friend, you in my prayers. Here is his video.

08-04-2011

2011-08-04T18:27:00.000-07:00

Charlie got to come home today. I think he is glad to be back and seems like he is ready to fight. His voice sounds good.

I stayed and goofed around, think I may have found that limit yesterday. :) Still a bit weak and my throat is swelled a little, actually quite a lot. So I researched materials, took measurements of our garages and Misty's house, and worked figures. There was a day not too long ago I would have been able to then do the work. If I could figure out how to mange my footing and possibly a few good days I still could.

I cut the pods of the Okra that was ready, Denise gets this cutting. Spent some time petting the Donkeys, Goats, Dogs, and a cat that seems to have adopted me. Watched and fed the chickens, the peacocks following me everywhere I went. They've shed their tails now but they still try and fan.

So tonight Denise fixed fried Squash, Green Beans, Potatoes, and Chicken with crunchy Onions. We're eating and a front tooth breaks off, of all times and places, in the front. My gums are giving way. I should have let them pull them when they wanted too, but I just wanted a break from the pain. My dentist is closed until Monday and we've changed insurance and haven't got the card yet. This tooth is a live one. The cap next to that one I Gorilla Glued on a few months back, I expect it will cave next. It is a dead tooth though. So far the pain isn't too bad, I've had worse.

We're suppose to ride bikes this weekend and unless it rains we still are. I think Denise and me both need it, I know we do. Maybe even Saturday. I've Gorilla Glued this one back on but there just isn't enough gum left for it to hold pressure on, so I doubt it will stay. At least it will maybe leave a film so that air don't hit it. It's still Dog Days so I'll put off having them all pulled if I can. Note to God... I need a break.

My Stupid Day

2011-08-03T21:29:00.000-07:00

Charlie is drinking, but he isn't eating. Somehow though his immunity is building and he may get to come home by week's end. They're trying to get him to walk.

This was my stupid day today. I started out going out the door. Before I shut the door I do a quick check. Truck keys, house keys, door locked, billfold, check book, all check. So I close the door and open the gate, teeth, uncheck, so back in I go.

I decide, despite the news warning on bad air quality and record breaking heat that I would bush hog the hill. The I decide that I since Jackie Sue had called about building a fence and not being able to keep it on the property line, I'd check it like she suggested to see if it was ok. Stupid move #3.

Neuropathy and crossing fences are not a good idea. I watch my feet, firmly planted and positioned on the fence wire, cross one leg over, holding onto the post. That is about when I placed weight on the left shoulder I had worked on and it gave. Twisted my feet, I'm guessing out of reflex which I fell on the fence and a barb stuck into the inner part of my leg and barbs into my hands and arms. I'm thinking though a metal pole to the face would have been worse.

I'm stuck at that moment and for some ignorant reason I think maybe I'll use my cell and call somebody to help. Except my cell requires use of my hands which are keeping my face off the pole, plus I got myself into this mess and I can get out of it. So I watch my feet, get back on the wire a bit higher and swing the leg that has the barb in it over. It did as I suspected and cut it's way out, more like slashed. Other than a small tear, my pants weren't hurt, thank God for baggie pants, lol. I couldn't help but laugh at myself after it was over. Crossing back I was a bit more careful and less confident.

I start bushhogging and I watch the gauge on the tractor to make sure it doesn't get overheated. I even took a break in the shade to cool down a bit. Wore my bandanna over my mouth and nose. The air started gently blowing on the hill. That went from feeling like I was breathing in an oven to breathing in a convection oven, lol. In my mind I thought maybe 15-20 acres and I'd stop. The last time I bushhogged I got to do more steroids and some other junk, didn't turn out too well.

At about 5-7 acres the tractor still wasn't too hot, I was. My leg was still throbbing a bit, but the bleeding had stopped. I'd sweated the blood off my hands and arms, don't have much feeling there, so that wasn't too bad. Then the throat started swelling and I started getting pressure in my chest. I took another break, got off the tractor and away from the engine heat. Started back up and again they both started. By the third time I decided maybe it was time to stop, especially when I started getting a bit disoriented. I didn't worry too much at first, I had my nitro with me. Then I thought about how that would feel on the throat. So I quit.

I managed to get back home before Denise called and caught me, except I parked the tractor a different place, beside the garage. It should have been out of sight or maybe turned around. A bush hog is a little hard to miss when it's attached to the tractor, lol.

So here it is 12:30 and I just realized that I left the eggs on top of a pen outside. Took a bath in the storm. Throat back tight and hard to breathe. I think maybe I'll have stupid tattooed on my forehead. :)

07-31-2011

2011-07-31T21:51:00.000-07:00

We just kind of hung out today, I seemed to have found something that I'm allergic to in the garden. I'll take it that it's still there as I keep having reactions to it. :) I stayed inside until I can heal up in my eyes, throat, and whatever the blood thing is.

We went to UT and saw Charlie. His immunity is building slowly but things aren't too good. It seems he has all but given up. Its been a week since he ate, he is still bleeding in his throat. We discussed maybe he should get a feeding tube, actually I guess I discussed he should have one. It seems strange since I fought against it and didn't have one, but things are different for different people.

He said that even water hurts, I remember that all too well. Room temperature water hurts less than cold or warm. He spit up some more blood while we were in there. He has just 16 more radiation treatments to go, but that stuff keeps working for a week or two past the treatment. For now he is on vacation from it.

There comes a point in time that dying is easier than living. I cannot fault him for wanting to toss in the towel, but hopefully he will change his mind and fight. Most people can't relate to that and I pray that they never will be able too. When the battle goes so long and we wear down, it looks as if there is no end, dying becomes easier than living. Unless one has been there no amount of reading and studying, no amount of observation, no amount of anything short of actual experience can explain this.

I wish he would use the pain meds to their fullest extent. I think he is even more afraid of them than I was. I tried to remain positive, empathic yet strong. Right now he feels like he is the only person who knows this pain, and while that isn't correct, I think that goes along with it. I did that too. He is living Hell on Earth right now and it is so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Had I not promised Denise I'd fight, had my family and friends, and this blog, who knows. It is only by the Grace of God that we go. He looked tired in his eyes and one could see the pain.

Meanwhile William is in the hospital as well. Seems he decided that he would not take the meds for his Diabetes. I talked with him today and maybe tomorrow he will get to come home. I fussed at him for that one.

I've a list of things to do tomorrow, Megan says she will help. I kind of wimped out towards the end of the week. Denise looked at the beans in the garden and decided maybe just a few more, so I need to add that. We walked back to take another glimpse at the roof. Man it looks great. Actually I think the best it has ever looked. Thanks to Pete and his crew, a big thanks.

So tonight say a prayer for Charlie to fight. He is over half way there but I know he can't see the finish line from where he is. So pray for him to see it and fight.

07-30-2011

2011-07-30T21:49:00.000-07:00

I got into something that didn't like me too well in the garden again. Swelled, itchy eyes. It could have been the peppers or some kind of weed. The bleeding seems to have slowed, maybe even stopped. I'm still tired so I've chilled out a bit the last few days.

Finally my roof is done. I walked it over, checked it out, and man did they do a great job this time, slight miscommunication. The new skylight is installed perfectly, lines on shingles and pattern perfect, but the thing that impressed me the most is the chimney flashing. The flashing on the sunroom is just as awesome.

Charlie is improving a little but has a way to go. I'm hoping that we will go see him tomorrow. He has to go positive to beat this stuff. Hard to do though with all the pain, but it must be done.

I listened to this, worth the listen.

07-28-2011

2011-07-28T21:40:00.000-07:00

Hot again today. I passed blood again through the bowels again so I stayed in and trimmed the garlic and bagged it until the heat went down. My throats isn't as swollen. That can't last long though, I need to bushhog at least 15 acres, and still have the garden to work. Denise canned her 105th qt of green beans.

Charlie is still in the hospital, he went neutropenic, and I probably spelled that wrong. :) He has also been bleeding a lot in his throat. They gave him 2 units of blood.

Misty's biopsy proved inconclusive for cancer, they want to run more tests.

Sleep study set up for next month, then follow-up the next.

The contractor was suppose to come by this evening, he didn't make it... imagine that. He hasn't seen the job yet. Part of me would love for him to see what it looks like, part would not want him near my house. I hate being mad, I usually don't get mad. When I look at it, it looks like Larry, Curly, Moe, and Ray Charles done that. I miss the days when me, dad, Joe, and sometimes a couple of friends done all the work that needed to be done. Built into this house in 3 locations are the names of everybody who built it and what they did. Only me and Charlie remain, and we can do little more than watch and help a little now.

The tip on massaging actually works, thanks.

07-23-2011

2011-07-23T21:30:00.000-07:00

I finally hit the wall again, but I made it a bit more this time before I did. The NHL is getting pretty active, perhaps stress plays a part. Today was not a ladder day but I made it one to view more of the new roof, hence the stress. A bit of depression along with anger. I usually don't get mad. If had this have been just a few years ago I could have replaced the roof instead of trying to find someone. Once again I find they left out something they said was there. I had to crawl down the front of the house but I did it. Nuff said, BP's going up.

Misty is sore from another biopsy. So far they have all proved inconclusive for cancer, thank God. Something is still wrong though. She is down for a time and in pain. Apparently she takes after her dad on following instructions, right kiddo. :)

Charlie is sick as a dog from his last chemo, but that should change about any day now. He is taking a vacation from the radiation.

I sat and rested today and done errands. Me and Denise both just chilled. I think Megan was just happy there wasn't anymore beans to break. :) My bleeding seems to have stopped finally, but I'm tired, maybe heat, stress, and bleeding, all in combination, who knows.

07-22-2011

2011-07-22T23:03:00.000-07:00

Hot again today and I picked beans again. I climbed up on the roof and found they had busted the Chimney, not flashed it properly, and I think the junk they put on it isn't heat proof. I wonder if this is partially what starts house fires. This was their 2nd attempt to do a simple task. Combined with 2 other things that the Three Stooges, and my words of great job went poof. Followed by ending their working on anything else. I seldom get mad but I did this time.

Misty has female problems, they think maybe cancer in her lady parts. She is in pain tonight and bleeding. Please pray for her.

Sally has the NHL spreading yet again. She is having a bad time with it.

I got beans picked but from the bleeding in (I guess my bowels where it comes out from), it's maybe from taking the pills on an empty stomach in the mornings.

I have 4 rows to pick over again, then we're done for a while. Time to pick the rest of the garden.

07-21-2011

2011-07-21T19:36:00.000-07:00

I've had some good days despite the heat. Kind of pushing it a little with picking the beans but have to do them as they come due. Megan came out to get more beans to string and break and watched for quite a while while I picked and a Bumble Bee pollinated everywhere I was picking. At times he was close enough to land on my hand and never more than 3 inches from it. This is what I have tried to teach her and she is learning quite well. He has his job to do and I have mine, that makes us friends. We can both work together, even in the same space in peace.

I think between the weeds and sun I must have slightly overexposed, throat is a little swelled and tight. I figure that as slow as I am we have about 3 or 4 more days, then I'll let the rest go to seed for next year. Denise has canned 49qts so far of beans and now the tomatoes are ready, plus the new pickling cucumbers. We are all 3 tired. I think there is at least one Banana Mellon, my father-in-law gets the first and/or the best one. He is wheelchair bound now and he grew them many years ago. Brings him good memories back of when he grew them, plus a good taste too.

Charlie is in pain and a bit down, but I think he is doing good. I took them some tomatoes over but he can't eat them. He is done with chemo and half way through radiation. A bit negative but I totally remember that myself and can relate.

We got our check from the insurance today and I've looked it over. They cut some things back but done well on others. It won't totally fix everything but it's close enough, I'm tired of fighting. Pete's guys finished all but the skylight on our house. I wasn't expecting them this soon but it's great as long as those with more damage are taken care of. They done a great job on it. Those guys had to be wiped, yesterday's heat index I'm told was 107. It was like being in a sauna. I started picking beans early this morning again and sweat just rolled off immediately, I couldn't imagine being on a roof. God bless all those who are out in this stuff. Weather like this, I don't miss the brown truck. :)

For Cali on Peanut Beans

2011-07-13T20:49:00.000-07:00

Hey Cali, here is the post I promised. On your Crooked Neck Squash, try putting some Epson Salts on them. This is what we use on tomatoes and other plants if them show forms of rot.

A Peanut bean, also called Old Joe Clark bean is a small green bean, absolutely delicious. Every year I say I'm not going to grow them, then we hit that last quart and I cave in. Denise is done 14 quarts today and tomorrow maybe another 11. Our pressure canner does 7 quarts so I'll pick some of the Turkey Crawl beans to make up the rest. My first successful (?) year at getting them. For two 100ft rows normally they would be better but with the way this year and weird weather has been, I'm pleased. Not as good as I usually do but better than I expected. Peanut beans are a bush green bean, though I run lines to try and keep them as erect as possible. They do have to be stringed which is also a pain given the small size.

The beans shown are from 2009. Left to Right, Peanut, Greasyback, 1/2 White Runner, State, Rattlesnake. I think you can click on it to make it larger.

This is what they look like when growing They are the two rows on the right. Last year we had the most beautiful vines, but few beans. These look so-so but have done better. Our Tomatoes and some of the Cabbage have done well considering 2 hail storms, it cut off most of the Onions, Garlic made it through though. We have the prettiest Pepper Plants we've ever had. They'd be even prettier if they had peppers, lol. Don't give up, I think it's the weather we've had these last 2 years.

Peanut Beans are the best tasting green bean we've ever eaten. They are an heirloom bean. The draw backs to them are it seems like your not getting anywhere when you pick them and even less when you break them, lol. I do ours a bit different. Some people pull their plants up and take off the beans. I do a 1st picking and try and train the plant to stand back up while also weeding what weeds are there. Then later I do a 2nd picking, leaving the pods that aren't ready. The remaining ones I leave to mature out and when I pull the plants then I keep them for seeds.

This is my 2nd year attempting Turkey Crawls and probably my last, unless something changes. Personally I'd rather do Rattlesnake , but Denise don't like them.

Here is a video of our gardens.

07-13-2011

2011-07-12T21:26:00.000-07:00

I'm finally out and about, now I'm tired and sore, lol. I love it. We started the day with no power. It went off about 6am. I fumbled down the hall and went out on the back porch, what a lightening show it was, all around us. Denise would have feel over if she saw me out there watching.

I picked bean, Peanut Beans today. Denise broke most of them. I have a row and a 1/2 left of that type. Lotta work, little bean, big flavor. I'm just taking my time, weeding as I go and training them. Taking breaks when it becomes too much (thought I'd never say that). I sent Josh back with Tomatoes and cucumbers, sent mom a tomato too. On the beans we should get at least 14 quarts of what we have now.

I got a disturbing email from Sally tonight, she is very ill. The Targetin has caused a bad effect on and she has a fever. I met Sally and Aubra (deceased now) on the Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma board. We have the same kind only Aubra's was more advanced than Sallys and hers more advanced than mine is. Please remember tonight to pray for her to get better. She is a good woman.

07-12-2011

2011-07-12T09:29:00.000-07:00

Sitting here, awake again but still run down in a way. I hit yet another wall, but I seen that one coming, I just didn't expect the results to be as they were. I slept Saturday night and pretty much all day Sunday and until Monday. I would stay up a bit then back down. Dizzy, double vision, and just worn out. Last night I went outside and maybe it's the heat or a weird ragweed or something but my throat swelled up big time. It makes it hard to breathe when it does that. The neuropathy is raging again, almost a whole week of it.

I haven't checked on Charlie in 2 days. He is having a hard time with the radiation earlier than I did. He has that chemo color about him, but only 1 more to go. Chemo though is the easy part. I told him to not let them burn him like they did me, demand a vacation if it gets too painful.

The bandannas seem to work, beats a mask which I never can remember to go and get, Denise says that takes effort. :) I tell her I'm Jesse James looking for a train to rob, lol. Keeping it soaked with cool water helps the body temps too. Who knows, maybe it will catch on, lol.

I planned on come hell or high water picking the green beans. Neither came but the rain and lightening did, I figured close enough, so here I set and there the beans are outside waiting. Just the Peanut Beans are ready but the Turkey Crawl and 1/2 White Runners are coming on strong. Megan's gone to Denise's mom and dad's house for a week, man it's too quiet here alone.

I got a haircut... sorta, lol. Jackie Sue done a good job as always. I could tell she wanted to cut more, lol, but she did what I asked her to do. I think Denise was in hopes that she could convince me to get more cut off. Now to work on getting about 20lbs off.

I've talked with Sally and Glenda Heywood, haven't talked with Glenda in a while. I miss our talks every weekend years ago. She runs the animal board at the website. The lady is a walking encyclopedia of knowledge on birds and animals. Me and Denise alwasy looked forward to her visits and we alwasy put her magazines in each shipment back then.

7-7-2011

2011-07-07T21:14:00.000-07:00

I got the meds today to get rid of another yeast infection in my throat today. Denise says the steroids causes it. It makes the throat feel swollen and sore and I get tired a lot. Today I slept on and off all day. I did manage to water garden 2. Hard job there, Open the garage, hook up the hose, and let the sprinkler go at it. :)

I visited Charlie again, saw him on the porch. He is 8 down now out of 35 radiation treatments and 1 chemo to go. He said he can't taste much, saliva glands quit, and in a lot of pain. Still, he won't take pain meds. I wasn't too keen on it either but they definitely have their place in life, saw that first hand. Used correctly they are a God send. He is pretty bitter, and I can see that but being bitter is a waste of time. Humble is which way to head.

I got the bike back together a day or so ago. Denise was about to kick my butt, I had it all over the garage downstairs. I guess she is thinking about the VW Beetle a few years back. All it needed was a new top. I didn't like the paint job so I decided to sand and paint it. Couldn't figure out how to sand in the tight spaces so I dissembled it. It's still there on jack stands in the garage between the Camaro and Skylark... in pieces. :) None of the cars can come out though. I've never finished the tracks on the new garage door either, lol. The a/c was fixed in the house. 2 or 3 year old unit and each year it goes down. It's suppose to be under warranty but this time was 98 bucks.

Now for something I need to write that I can look back on and laugh about. I got a call a couple days ago from a lady doing a survey. It was on TV. I'm not a big TV fan. So she asks if I watch the news. I say occasionally the local one, maybe 2-3 times a week. She asks if I watch world news . I tell her no I read mine on the web. She asks why. I tell her I like fantasies but with a story line. So she asks how much TV I watch. I tell her just one to two shows, occasionally more. She starts with times frames.

By this time Denise asks who is on the phone and I tell her. The lady says from 6-6:30. I say no. Then she begin to divide them into one hour time frames. Each time I say no. Denise heard me say now for the time frame (I repeated each one after her) of 9-10 pm. Denise says "You watch Swamp People". I said, "I love that show, chute 'em Elizbeth, chut 'em. I can sound just like Troy. The next thing I heard was a click, she hung up. lol Too funny. The crap I do sometimes.

As of the finish I notice it is after 12pm. I have at least made it to 51 officially. I'm 228 lbs now, like I need to eat birthday cake... but I'm gonna.

07-03-2011

2011-07-03T21:38:00.000-07:00

I slept in today and stayed out of the heat. These last few days I must be allergic to something. Throat swelled, eyes matted together, tired. I did get the bike back together finally, except the tubes I need for the air horn, compressor is different.

Charlie is back sick again, 3rd chemo just now hitting. So far his radiation is ok, then again, he is just now starting it.

I got an email from Donald Morris-Vincent who reads this blog and has started his own blog on called lickingcancer. He has Tongue Cancer. His URL is at

http://licking-cancer.com

Happy 4th

07-01-2011

2011-06-30T21:35:00.000-07:00

First and most importantly....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISTY!!!

Denise has been off this week and we've worked, or rather she has worked more than I, around the house and in the garden. At night we've watched movies she rented and I think I have my fill of TV now, except for Swamp People, love that show.

The visit to Rathfoot went well. He said if it was the first time he had seen me he would be panicked, but since he has been with me through the whole thing he was pleased. I'm showing some progress, enough that he is happy with it. I have to do a sleep study and he thinks I need Oxygen at night. If I understood correctly then the sleep apnea or something like that may be slowing the healing process. He said we have a long ways to go yet but we're making progress. Before he thought my throat would not tolerate O2 and now it will. Megan went with us and saw her first time of watching the scope go through my nose and into my throat. Think she was a little grossed out, lol.

The Bandanna worked great, when soaked with water. It probably looks funny but it works. The cool water also help with the heat, an added benefit. It blocks the sun from the front of my throat and when I mowed I pulled it up like a mask and it filtered pretty well too. I'm going to get some of my hair cut, this is aggravating me.

The insurance company sent another adjuster out, which was a nice guy. So far it appears to be better, then again I thought that the last time too. So far it's been a nightmare. I'll not count this good until it is all said and done. At least it seems we're not hung in limbo now. I'm still not sure what was done, so I'll not speculate openly, but I got a pretty good idea. It is a shame what this world has become. Hopefully though this will soon pass, everything passes eventually. Thing is, do we really want to see how and where we stood one day when it does. I guarantee that will happen. Is a dollar worth that.

06-27-2011

2011-06-27T22:11:00.000-07:00

Man, it's actually the 28th and here I set at 1am knowing I have to go visit Rathfoot tomorrow morning. I dread the scope up the nose but at the same time look forward to knowing how things are. My throat is a little tight tonight on the side the tumor was, but I think that was from being out in the garden and mowing 2 yards without sunscreen and a mask. My bad.

We went to Morristown today to Hobby Lobby, I bought some large handkerchiefs, more like bandannas. I don't care much for sunscreen and forget to use it a lot, so I thought maybe wrapping them up like we done in the 70s and tying them around my neck, soaked in water. It should serve 2 purposes, keep the body temp down and block the sun. If this works it's haircut time.

I still haven't talked with Larry yet, but that is on the list. I'm still working with this insurance on the houses. What a mess they have it in. I think I'm getting to the bottom of what is wrong, and there is a lot wrong so far. Unethical is a compliment at best. I think that is part of the reason along with nerves, still worked up a bit. Tonight the storm is back, hopefully without the hail and little to no water.

The neuropathy shows no progress at all, but oddly enough I'm use to it, except when it kicks into overdrive. I'm even use to the teeth... kinda. I know why horses don't like bridles, lol. But, life goes on. I'm adding a pic of the garlic we grew.

06-23-2011

2011-06-23T20:48:00.000-07:00

Finally getting back up to speed these last few days. The neuropathy is still unchanged but I've adjusted most days. I run 2 humidifiers at night and that seems to help too. I've still got to talk with Taylor about the vitamins. I've started back Vit D 4k per day and Reservatrol (spelling?).

Mowed the yard for the first time in a long time, since I went down that last time. I think I should have baled it, lol. I've been eating a little local honey and weeded whats left of the garden with no mask and no problem. I think I'm ready to finish the wall downstairs now. Hopefully the insurance company will decide to get on the ball and fix the house and garage soon. It's over 2 months now. I got the bike fixed, Terry Briggs made a bracket and bolt, better than the factory, to hold the radiator on. Still have to replace the motor for the horn... tomorrow maybe.

Charlie is heading for the chemo again soon and then he starts radiation, surgery is off the table, it is responding. That sounds good except given the choice surgery would beat that treatment, hands down.

Me and Megan ate breakfast at Shoney's and ran into Ed, he retired from UPS a few years before me. He has lung cancer. He looked good, has 6 more chemo to go. I spent most of my life there working with good people. It's alwasy good to see old friends.

So now yet another storm rages. This year is has been one after the other for storms. The gardens are a wash for the year I think. Between the hail, high winds, and rain, it's took it's toll.

06-18-2011

2011-06-18T20:11:00.000-07:00

Been a week. Happy Birthday Missy, sorry we didn't make it to the party. I fell asleep and slept for quite a while and Denise didn't wake me.

Josh got saved at Bible School Misty tells me. She questioned him and he knows what he is doing. Way to go Josh, we're proud of ya.

The meds seem to be helping my throat so I think it was yeast. I'm still down a bit. Last night I faltered on my responsibility. The dogs went off and so did the peacock that stays on this side. Then the motion light went off. I didn't check it out until I heard a dog yelp in pain. One of the pups (about 60-70 lbs) was on the ground. This morning it was dead. That will not happen again no matter how bad I feel. From here on out I'll be outside at the first signs and waiting. Few things make me mad, but this was one. Macy was Megan's favorite pup.

06-16-2011

2011-06-16T20:47:00.000-07:00

Woke up this morning with my voice slowly coming back, but raw. I'm tired but that could also be the Benadryl that is making me sleepy. Just in case I've allergies since I've played in the weeds. Tonight even tea hurts to drink.

Me and Megan took the trash off here, mom's, and the office. I stayed in after that other than feeding the chickens and the cat that seems to have adopted me. He/she stays in the carport around back with the 65 Corvair, but this evening he was in the one with the 64 Corvair. I'd run him off but he was skinny when he came here and now he is fattening up. I hate to see anything hungry. I slept on and off all day today. I went later on this evening to the office and entered the data on a contract for mom on a HUD. There is a lot to foreclosures and it's all done by computers now and that was what I specialized in the last year and a half.

I actually watched some TV too, which is unusual for me. We all watched Swamp People tonight. I looked foe Sally's email and this is the second night she hasn't written which worries me. We have the same NHL but her's is far more advanced than mine. We've talked pretty much every night since we met on the Lymphoma Board, never met face to face though. She lost her husband Aubra about two years ago to this stuff. I'm getting a bit worried now. She always tells me when she heads for Vanderbilt to see Zic & Greer. I haven't seen them since 07 so they probably think I'm dead by now, lol.

I'm skipping my vitamins and herbs tonight since I've already managed to get my pills stuck and supper didn't go too well either. The last pill I thought I would not get it back up or down without aspirating on it. Too me a few minutes. Funny, I use to panic when stuff like that happened but now I remain calm and focus. Funny what one can get use to.

So maybe this is the start of getting it better. I had a little voice today but I didn't push it. I'm going to try and wait until my next appointment with Rathfoot at the end of the month. Maybe it will be better then and I'll avoid another surgery for a little while longer. Tonight the dogs bark again so that means I have to go out and investigate again.

All in all though it was a good day. Tomorrow I'll start fresh and who knows, may wake up and feel great. I've definitely found the limit again, and it is longer than the last time, so I'm making progress.

06-15-2011

2011-06-15T21:35:00.000-07:00

Today started a little worse than yesterday. My throat is raw and my voice is a whisper at best. I'm wondering if it might not be yeast from the steroids. I know I over done it for a few days but not this much.

I did get the beans and corn tilled, I just took my time. I actually done what I was suppose too for a change, wore a mask and sunblock on the front of my neck. I wish I had done that all along. I didn't get to work the other one.

It looked like rain and smelled like rain, and it did rain. Me and Megan took a cat to a man, actually 2 that she found a home for. When we got back one of those sudden fatigue things hit and I slept through the first storm, briefly waking up and a second had come, slept through it too. Right now I'm in about 2 clicks to going out yet again tonight.

Dusty's chicken got broke into last night. I suspect a coon. It looked as though it tried to get mine but failed, so I guess it went to his. He found seven bodies or at least what remained. I went out once already and I'll go one more time and check with nightvision. He has a trap set so hopefully he can catch him and relocate him/her. I no longer have a live trap but I do have a trap that goes boom. It kind of relocates it too. :) I told Dusty I'd check his too, they are close to where ours are.

So tonight I go to bed swelled up and breathing even more labored, not to mention the neuropathy kicked it into high gear, and the swallowing went back like it was. Tonight Denise made a soft dinner, still got choked, but man was it ever good. I think I will keep my butt in tomorrow and rest... maybe. :)Well, there goes the dogs again, so something is up. So ends this day. Best part of this week though was I got to help a few people, that felt good. I may take mine and mom's trash off, but that'll be it. Nite.

06-14-2011

2011-06-14T21:17:00.000-07:00

I think I found the limit once again. I woke up this morning with little voice and my throat is tight and painful tonight. I haven't hurt like this in a long time. Me and mom had an appointment with the insurance man this morning so I kept the appointment. We stopped by and talked with Matt about shingles at Allen-Surrett Hardware, he owns the Dandridge store. I also introduced the new neighbor's friend, I still don't know his name, but he is nice. We went to the store in town here and now he knows where the Hardware store is and who Steve and Kaye are. I like doing business with them, good honest people who own it.

I pretty much stayed in except for going to get sand for the neighbor's pool twice. Her truck and his truck are both nice and I thought it would damage them so I offered to take Big Ugly and get it. They have their pool up tonight and filling it. They seem to be very nice people and she has had her share of troubles. She and her friend both offered to pay me but I told her she deserves a break after a year of what she has been through. Big Ugly needs the work out, plus the gas was getting old and I like to play in the dirt.

When Denise got home we walked in the garden and finished the stringers in the green beans and she picked a couple of cucumbers. Today wasn't as hot but I still had a hard time breathing, I should have had that and tilling done, not to mention the yard mowed. I did get the swing moved to where Matt & Misty's pool is so they will have something to sit on this evening with Denise's help. I just am down and need to recuperate a bit, get this swelling down. Maybe tomorrow I'll be back up and work on the bike since it is suppose to rain.

Tonight Matt & Misty's fence needed worked on, Rex kept getting out. I went with Matt and we took some old T posts I had, he done most of the work. They were older posts and if we had time there are newer ones in the garden we could have exchanged. I did discover another stray cat while I was out in the carport. I fed it too while I was there. It looked hungry. Megan caught the other stray cats I feed on camera, they are wild. This new one though is friendly. First one I've fed and actually got to pet. Jack, Jenny, and Dora came and me and Brandon gave them a treat while we were getting stuff to fix the fence. I'm running on empty and hurting pretty bad, so ends another day. A good day, I got to feel useful, and for that I am thankful. Tomorrow I will feel better though, heal up a bit.

6-12-2011

2011-06-12T20:09:00.000-07:00

One of the few times I actually missed getting on the web this weekend, other than on to find some info and back off. The place in my mouth where the nut cut the gum seems to be pretty bad, left a pretty decent hole. I wear my teeth in public but it hurts pretty bad so I take them out at home. Lucky Denise, lol.

I've helped Misty & Matt with their pool. The 30 minutes grading work ended up being almost 2 1/2 days... slightly underestimated that one, but it's done now. They are having a ball in the pool. Most of what I done was with a tractor but it wore me out. We rode bikes yesterday evening, but I wasn't quite up to par on it, still me and Denise both needed it. Denise has been stressed at work lately so she more than I. We sheared a bolt at the top of the radiator but Missy & Richard and Dale turned back and we strapped it to the frame. We still ended up riding for a few more hours, no problem.

I still need to finish making stringers for the beans to grow on and fix the bike. We've got some new neighbors up from us that walked down this evening while I was doing some of the stringers. We never exchanged names but they seemed nice. She looked at the pool and asked how the ground was cut (it's cut about 3-4 feet deep into the bank). I told them then they asked if I could cut theirs to level a spot. We walked up and looked, it don't need much, few hours at best. Not like I really don't have things that need done but... nothing that won't wait. Weather permitting I'll do that tomorrow when the heat sets in, my tolerance for sun just ain't good lately even with the hair.

I seem to not be healing and my blood is thin, along with my skin. Every time I play with teeth and ears (Misty's dog) I end up with torn skin and blood everywhere, freaks Misty out, we play rough like always. I bump into stuff and the skin tears like paper. Maybe that is partly why the gash in my gum isn't healing. I got an appointment the end of the month with Rathfoot and if I remember I may bring it up and ask why.

We got home last night after 11pm and I crashed, never heard the storm, lol. Today we just goofed off and I tried to build back some strength. At one point we stopped last night and my legs trembled, thank God riding only takes balance, which I was short there too. My cold is healed up enough to return to the wall, but I'm running on empty right now. On the good side though, I made it 3 or 4 days before I ran out this time. I know that I will never be in the shape I once was, but maybe I'll get close, and if not it won't be from lack of trying.

06-06-2011

2011-06-06T11:37:00.000-07:00

Setting here inside the house escaping the heat. I've found that heat and throat don't go well together, especially with the remains of this cold. So I go out early and late to play in the garden. I've not quite got the energy or stamina that I had last year, or so it seems. Somewhere in the back of one's mind I think the threat of cancer still lurks around, perhaps worry is a better word for that.

I wonder since the lung and sinus infections comes and goes, seems I can't shake it. Then again, Denise, Misty, and Megan can't either, so maybe that is natural.I'm going to go back to the honey, a tablespoon each day and the Vit D seems to help somewhat.

I saw Charlie today and he is out and about. He is keeping his weight good and doing the fluids has helped him a lot. I should have done those when I had my chemo. He has the chemo color and little hair, said he had lost his taste as well on food and drinks. He said that he was having a hard time recovering from the second chemo. I didn't tell him but the taste thing doesn't come back all the way, or at least mine didn't.

I worked, or rather piddled, in the gardens today until it got hot and called and checked on the insurance on the houses and cars. It is a little disgusting being hit twice, but we're far better than some. So far Farm Bureau has been good, especially on the cars. The houses aren't settled, one hasn't been looked at yet by them, but I've had three contractors who have given me estimates on repairing them. The two garages are what worries me the most with the type of roofs they have. The parts room in the main garage is gone, along with I'm guessing the insulation. I had it patched from the first storm, the second one undo the patches.

So maybe that is the reason part of my energy, apart from the cold, is less. Just kind of disgusted. Just a few years ago I could have repaired all this myself. I sat and remembered designing and building it all. Back then it seemed like no big deal, and now I wonder how I did it. Good memories though, we had fun working on them. I guess this is a reminder that all we acquire here is moth and rust.

06-02-2011

2011-06-02T21:35:00.000-07:00

Finally a break this morning from this cold. I went about 7am and collected the metal fence posts and put them in the garden with the green beans. Other than 1/2 of 2 rows, they all came up despite the storm. I also replanted a few tomatoes later in the evening. Me and Megan grabbed some breakfast and she bought some material, says she wants to make quilts like Denise's mom does.

I got the last of the components for the 3rd and final custom computer I anted to build and Matt built it pretty fast. Part Apple and part Windows, it's pretty cool. So I played switch-a-roo with the downstairs and Sunroom ones. The cool one stays in the downstairs, it lights up blue in it's clear case.

Tonight the cold comes back though, straight into my lungs. Denise and Megan both had a relapse too. Missy says that a lot of people have it as well. Charlie is sailing through his 2nd chemo, right proud of him. This one is the last hopefully. Now they can maybe cut it out and he will be done. He did meet with the Radiologists today though. I pray that he will not need this. I'm still staying away from him because he doesn't need this junk.

Mom was down and out today. She visits dad's grave 4-5 times a week. Today was a shocker. Jefferson Memorial Gardens had apparently decided to take all the flowers off all the graves. When she questioned why they said the flowers were old and faded. Dad, Annie, Papa, and the rest were all new. So then he said the storm had blown all the flowers off, except she was there yesterday and no flowers were blown off and no storm had come last night, just heat. They had collected a whole trailer full and a container full too. When she returned from getting the manager, the trailer was gone, but she got pictures. They had stripped hundreds of graves. He kept asking her< "Why do you think we'd be doing this?"

It placed in mind what we use to see at the office, only they are on a larger scale. A car would drive by rather slowly, the return slowly back. By then you knew what was next. The car would come fairly quickly, pulling off the highway, often sliding to a stop with the passenger door slinging open many times before it stopped. Out would run a man or woman, like they were in a sprint, grab a preselected arrangement or something placed on or near a grave, then run back and speed off. Most of the times it was a new Cadillac, Hummer, and even once a new Porsche. Never old beater cars. After some time we began to call the cops, but they always got there too late to catch them, they were fast.

Who does that? Who desecrates a grave? Eventually one was caught and they were reselling the flowers. I think this has to be the lowest form of life on earth, or at least one of them. Needless to say, mom was torn up.

05-31-2011

2011-05-31T04:29:00.000-07:00

Finally back up after a total loss Saturday, slept on and off all day, Sunday wasn't much better. Still coughing and weak and it feels like I've strained my stomach muscles coughing, certainly swelled the throat up. Denise wasn't much better and today she is off to work still congested. Megan turned the corner, though still not completely well yet. Rest and sleep seemed to help all three of us.

I played with Matt's website and started a new book Sunday, got on the web and watched some new films at Chris White's website. So I stayed up after a Rip Van Winkle Saturday. Ms Hen was pissed and waiting on me when I went outside since she wasn't fed Saturday. :) She followed me all the way back to the chicken coop telling me about it. lol. I ordered me a fancy case for the computer that Matt just built for me, this is the 3rd and final one. He didn't seem to mind that he just put it one together and now I've changed my mind on cases. The thing is a hoss, just under the one I have here.

I'll take the trash off today, ours, mom's, and the office and then piddle, but I'll be inside doing it. If it stays cool long enough maybe clean up some of the damage from the last storm. I'm still debating on replanting the garden but I'll definitely replant Josh's tomato plant (without him knowing it). I had a few seedlings that were beaten down and one seems to have stood back up, I'll take that as a sign. Megan's plants seem to have made it through, thank God for that. Mark said his were beaten into the ground as well. Some of those that I planted are completely gone while others that were cut off or holes beaten in them are trying to recover. Seems it ain't completely over yet.

So I'm off to get started, not sure how much I'll get done, but I'm gonna try again.

05-28-2011

2011-05-28T07:47:00.000-07:00

Still here and still have this cough. I think if I done a thousand push-ups each day my stomach muscles wouldn't hurt any worse than they do now, Megan is the same. Megan has had this junk for almost two weeks. Denise is still down with it too, not sure how long she has had it. Denise and I both have a balance problem as well, probably the sinuses. There must be some kind of mutation because she and I had diarrhea for a day or two as well, who knows, maybe we just coughed the crap out of ourselves (grin).

Later on yesterday I went on the roof of the house, despite the balance, I wanted to see what if any more damage was done from this last storm. The last one broke the seals and looked like it sandblaster the gravel off the singles, this one took singles with it. It cracked some of the rafters in the sunroom. Busted the seals in two window and a skylight. Broke some of the lights outside. I didn't go on the garages but looked inside, they are leaking again. The established garden is shredded. Some can be replanted, some it's too late to plant again. It's a little disgusting but then again it's all replaceable and it could have been worse. We were/are fortunate when looking at what both storms have done else where, some people lost life and some lost everything. It serves as a reminder that all we have here is moth and rust. I will not let my disgust show since Megan and Josh had worked to plant some stuff, rather instead replant what we can, which should show them that when you get knocked down you get back up again.

This weekend will be a wash. No wall being worked on or anything else, just rest. Denise is usually up at the crack of dawn and it's almost 11 and she is still sleeping, so I'm being quiet, she needs to rest. Yesterday Megan slept late and it seemed to help her. Megan has her appetite back now.

Matt is frustrated, he wants to stay busy and he does but has hit a slow period. With the storms I imagine that people are busy cleaning up, but they trickle in. He is getting drive bye and world of mouth business and so he is building. I made him a quick little website and Misty is looking at how to work it, she has forgotten how over the years and I'm behind on what is used today, I really need to brush up myself a bit. I'm a bit outdated on web building, but at least he has something up. LINK. That'll do for now.

05-27-2011

2011-05-27T05:56:00.000-07:00

Well Denise, Megan, and I all are sick. Megan and me both sound like we have pneumonia. Denise and me both have diarrhea. I'm down. Megan is down. Denise is running on fumes. I think yesterday's storm didn't help me and Megan any, we both walked around when it was over looking at the damage. What last month's storm didn't destroy this one got. So today I'll have to call the insurance company again and tell them we need to add to the damage, not that there is a lot the first one didn't do.

The garden me and Megan worked so hard on two days ago is in pretty bad shape, but most of it was seeds so there is some hope. The established garden is another story, probably 70-80% destroyed. When we all get better we will replant what things will have time to make, but most of what was destroyed that time wasn't replaceable due to time. I'm sure that there will be things the insurance company won't replace or repair, so maybe the gardens just weren't meant to be, or at least not as much as we had anyway.

05-25-2011 Rathfoot Follow-up

2011-05-24T20:40:00.000-07:00

Me and Denise headed down for a follow up visit with Rathfoot. He was please with the surgery outcome. He said that there is a machine where instead of putting me to sleep he could do the injections while I am awake. I'm excited, but the awake thing is a bit weird. Still, it would beat surgery each time. I can do that, so far I've done and had done worse things and things I would have swore I couldn't. He says that I will need more and in a month go back again. We left out the part about weeding the garden the day after surgery.

Tonight I found out that I could actually taste Sherbert, so I had a cone. I still can't taste a lot... but I remember what some things tasted like, so I pretend. From my belly and weight gain it must be working, maybe too well, lol. I got our pig today. Now I can taste sausage. Terry Sellars had it ready today. Me and Megan brought home about 183 lbs, it dressed pretty good. Man I missed that sausage, we've been eating store bought, yuk. I put some over the hamburger in the big freezer, have to move it, lol.

I have an infection from the tube that they had in my throat... and I can't recall if it is called a respirator or what right now, senior moment I guess. :) Anyway, I got an infection last time too, so I kind of expected that. So I'm now taking an antibiotic. The best news was that the Prednisone dose was lowered to 10mg morning and 5 mg at night.

Denise is sick too, so is Megan, Misty, and Matt, so I may have caught something there as well. Funny, when Rathfoot was through checking me he noticed that Denise was sick and checked her too. He gave her some medicine as well. That is something that you just don't see these days. This man is impressive. Come to find out he also goes on Mission trips to visit another country to an orphanage and doctors there for free. I've heard of doctors doing this but never really met one. He actually cares about people. I've been so blessed that all the doctors I go to does, as well as Kim, who has been a lifesaver throughout this.

Charlie is up and running, but tomorrow he does it again, and in a couple of days Hell will follow. He lost his hair, but he is still smiling and even more, fighting back. He says he feels like it is decreasing in size and that it's working. I pray it is. If it is this will be his last dose and then surgery, and I pray that radiation doesn't follow. That is when it gets tough.

05-22-2011

2011-05-22T21:32:00.000-07:00

Still have a big gash on my gum which makes it extremely painful to wear the partial. Slept late this morning and wasn't going to wear it but Missy & Richard asked if we wanted to ride. I wasn't sure just how well I could do but I think we both needed the stress relief, especially Denise. We met over at their house and Dale & Anna were riding too, so off we went. We rode until the storm got close and headed back. Went to English Mountain and rode through Jefferson, Cocke, and Sevier counties. Man it was fun. Just out of the way curvy highways and scenery. Ever so often Richard would stop at an intersection and ask which way. I would say whichever way you all are going, lol. We stayed lost, but happily so.

Still hacking up that pretty colored stuff and tired, but this gave me energy more than it took away. It was a good day. Tomorrow I think we have another contractor come and give an estimate on the storm damage repair. Hopefully this will be fixed soon, but as long as the ones who got hit the hardest get first, we're alright.

05-21-2011

2011-05-21T20:50:00.000-07:00

Congratulations MEGAN!! Megan graduated today, and that is the last of the kids. We went to watch her graduate. It was a beautiful ceremony. I really didn't expect to see her walk that stage. We got pictures of the 3 girls afterward. Mrs Stokes, Megan's Interpreter from years past came from NC to see her walk the stage. She probably had the single most/best impact on Megan than anybody she ever was with. Megan made leaps and jumps in school and toward both sign language, learning her hearing aids and most importantly, confidence. Megan at first wanted to eat at Outback, but she changed her mind when Misty said they were going to meet her mom and her boyfriend to hike. So Megan changed her mind and said she wanted to go with them. They had a ball.

Me and Denise played outside and got some things done, plus framed Megan's awards. Worked outside, though Denise probably got done more than I did. I had to take several breaks from the swelling and infection in my throat. Still, we got a lot of things done. Tonight I'm paying for it, but it's a good debt though. We watched the newest episode of Camelot, actually two of them, we got behind.

I think that Megan was more tired than we are, lol. She didn't get home until late and when she did she looked tired, but man was she ever happy. It was her day today, and all was great. She said that Cathy & Mark had invited her back to hike with them when they all go. Something about a cave with different colored sand. She was also talking about Mark's camera, and how nice he is. You made your sister's day today Misty, thank you, and thank your mom and Mark too.

Charlie is out and about again, minus his hair now. He overshot it and had to take a long break I hear. Just 1 more and he may be done though and ready for surgery.

Surgery Day

2011-05-18T22:25:00.000-07:00

It went well today. Rathfoot done some stuff, I know he injected Kenalog (spelling ?), not sure what else. I'm home though, actually got home early, around 3pm. We discussed the tube things, which I definitely do not want this time of year. It's garden season, bike season, and I really need to do some bush-hogging at the farm. He thinks he can control the damage other than using a trach and feeding tube... thank God. I will need more of these surgeries and he said they were looking into a machine where they could do it at the office. Other than that I didn't hear much, but he talked to Denise.

That was some kind of staff they have at St Mary's, I think it's called Mercy Center. If it is, that is a fitting name. Then again, that is why I chose them as to where to have it done. I didn't see a bad one in the bunch, rather, excellent all the way, everybody. I may not have caught the Flu there from the blood work report back. My White Cells they said were down a little but they were back up I think today to either 11.5 or 12. Pretty darn good I think considering that just a little over a year I lost them, or something called Nutrofills. (Probably spelling on that too).

I'm down for a little while though, restrictions, but they're just for a few days. No lifting or driving (do the driving tomorrow :), no yard work or garden. But I took it just for the rest of the week. Denise said I'd have to wear a mask when I mow. I can do that, but no mowing until next week. I bought a hog and will have to get Megan to load and unload it. She was tickled until I told her we'd be putting it in boxes. I got Terry Sellers to kill and dress it out. We ran out of sausage a while back and had to buy some at the store. YUK! Terry knows how to make the stuff and cut the roasts to perfection. Plus he is honest and nice, a good man.

So.... what to do with my down time? Well, this for one, but I think I've found something else to play with. I got permission tonight. I've got a new program that I have needed for a while to learn, a few days to learn it with. Baring Megan's Graduation rehearsal and Honor's night, seems I have some time and it beats just goofing off doing nothing. So I asked Matt and he said it was ok, that I buy him a Domain Name (his choice) and I'll cut him some space on my server and build him a website for his repair business. I'm out of practice and behind times on these new things, so it'll help me learn and hopefully it will help him too.

On the good side too was that the Flu I had, I lost 11 pounds. Downside is I need a little more than that gone. I still have to do the Predisone for a while longer, but not as high of a dose. I'm hopeful that I can get away from that stuff eventually. Tonight I'm choking a little, but not too bad, I think that is to be expected. No temperature or bleeding so far as I've noticed. Sore as a boil. I think I know which parts and where they worked. :) Expected that too though. I was pretty sick when they done this before and I don't remember all of it afterward, but this much I do.

So now we fight the side effects of the cure as this cancer seems to be gone, as best we can tell. That only leaves the other cancer and the heart. I'm use to those though. Not to mention insomnia tonight, lol. I think I may have slept too much while I was in recovery, lol. Something about either the anesthesia or whatever else is given that afterward for a few days I shake and stay nervous as a long tail cat in a room full of rocking chairs. When I was in the middle of the battle Panella gave me some kind of nerve pill, I also used it in the cocktail that enabled me to be bolted in a mask each day to a table during radiation treatments. As we reach the end I asked Panella for more, he refused and when I asked how to control it he said. "Dig a hole". I found out from either him or Denise these things were habit forming, so I started digging holes, lol. I gotta say, beats a pill any day. Throughout this whole ordeal they have all kept their promise to not have me hooked and it I got hooked on anything they would get me unhooked...and they have kept their word.

I think though I may talk to one of them or maybe Schindler about the pills they gave me to help with the arthritis, it was an anti-inflammatory one. If it's not addictive it sure made things a lot better. The shoulder seemed a little better and the 2 discs in my neck that I still don't want to be worked on worked better. The knees from jumping in and out of the truck for all those years felt better, as did the elbow I never got fixed properly. Not any less was it soothed the small amount of Arther left behind from the Lymes Disease years ago. But it it is like Celebrex or addictive, I can live with it and Tylenol. Funny, I got a check from a settlement because I was taking Celebrex when I had my heart attack for 53 bucks and some change I think. I didn't cash it though. I'm not sure if it was made aware that it carried some risk back then, but I think I was. So since I'm not sure, I didn't want their money. Plus I think the event cost a bit more than that, lol. So since I don't know if I knew the risk or not, I'm not due it, I took my chances. I can't say that it was worth it but it did keep me moving when I couldn't move. The stop moving part kinda sucked, but that's life and I'm still moving, just not like I once did.

Charlie is weak but he is moving again. He came for Denise's birthday. He looks good too and seems in better spirits. He has lost some weight but like me needed too. Unfortunately this coming Wednesday Hell comes again for him, but at least he knows what is coming and that readies a man for battle. He sounds pretty good too. I told him we're in a competition for sounding like either the Godfather or Sling Blade. We practice our, I like them Mustard Biscuits, unhu, lol. I worried about him for a while. He lost his will to fight, but I think now he is going to be ok. He has his sense of humor back and emotionally and spiritually back on track. I think he knows that while it is all up to God in the end, it is dependent upon good medical people, mental, spiritual, humor, family, and emotional... all parts being equal in importance. The physical part gets it's butt kicked. Keep these in line though, and then let God make His decision, which He will anyway. But we have to do our part. And that is coming from a noncomplying patient, well... sorta, lol.

05-17-2011

2011-05-17T20:40:00.000-07:00

I'll crash early tonight. I have to be NPO by midnight. We had Denise's birthday party, ate cake and she zoned into the TV and I into the web. I've ate like a horse today and tonight, especially the things I normally can't eat or figure will be off the list for a while. I've also went wild drinking as well. Orange Gator aid, Tea, Root Bear, Mt Dew, and Milk... I've done them all in one day. :)

Talked with Terry Sellers and our pork will be ready either Thursday or Friday. It will be a tight fit to get it into one of the freezers. I'll have to see if Matt & Misty want any Mark & Bobbie. I'm sure they will take some and we have enough to share. We ran out of sausage and had to (yuk) buy some at the store. We only found 1 that didn't have MSG listed, and it still sucked at best. I wonder what planet they get those hogs from?

The surgery is late morning and I told Denise that I will have to have something sprayed in my mouth before then. I don't think doctors think how much lubrication is natural, or rather just how much spit we swallow. I don't have that option and everything will become dried out, painfully so. The weather is bad for a few days and so down time needed will be easier to manage. No fever now but still ache and weak, and a head ache that is pestering.

So we rest and hopefully sleep until time to go. Took a sleeping pill just in case.

05-17-2011

2011-05-16T20:39:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Denise!!!!!!

Don't worry. We got the fire dept standing by... just in case the flames get too high. :)

I'm not brave enough to place your age up. No way would I place a 4 and a 3 up here. :)

05-15-2011

2011-05-14T23:07:00.000-07:00

Just now getting back up from getting slammed with some kind of intestinal something. Since I don't know anybody that has it I assume maybe it was a gift from preregistration at St Mary's. They seriously need to go back to the way they use to do it. High fever and not sure which end to put on the toilet first. From Thursday evening until Saturday morning. I think that was the closest thing to Chemo sickness I've experienced except for the chemo, and then I didn't run a high fever. Except that one time when I ended up in the hospital.

This once again tells me to avoid crowds. I thought I was past this.

05-11-2011

2011-05-11T19:07:00.000-07:00

Well, the gig is set up now for next week. Me and Denise went down and done the paperwork, got blood drawn... so I'm all set. The lady who drew the blood looked at me and said, Which arm? Denise was standing in the corner and I smiled, pointed at Denise's arm and said, "That one." We all got a laugh out of that.

I think with my heart, Pernicious Anemia, and COPD, they are getting a lady to put me under. They said she was their best. I don't think the Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma had any bearing on anything. Most of my meds I have to take, exception being the anti-inflammatory. Other than that, pretty standard info. Have to wet, something else?, and be able to breathe on my own... then I can go home when they are done. First thing I thought was oh crap, that tube again. Definitely scary to wake up seeing.

I've gotta remember to go over the no (s) with the doctor before surgery. No extra tubes, pipes, holes, plugs, etc. :) Cut all they want inside, just not through to the outside, lol. Hopefully I'll not be down but a day, two at tops. Got too much to get done.

05-11-2011

2011-05-11T07:06:00.000-07:00

I have to preadmit for surgery at St Mary's today for next week. Wonder if that is like preboarding, lol. This is something new they've started since my last surgery. Denise gave me orders not to get dirty, so here I sit. This is 3 good days in a row which makes it hard to just sit. I wonder if I mow the yard if she'd be able to tell. I checked the date and we will get to celebrate Denise's birthday the day before surgery. For that I'm thankful.

My mind and frustration is on Charlie, he seems to already be tossing in the towel. I know when he saw me smiling and being positive it must have looked bad, but he has enough negative going on with the pain. Hopefully that smile and those thoughts will strike a cord somewhere. He knows full well I've lived in that Hell, so hopefully he will smile back inside somewhere. Bill said this morning they were going to get a Feeding Tube installed, which is fine if he needs it. This is why I was trying to tell him that if there was another way like they first thought (surgery) to go that route. He didn't realize just how bad it is, and he's just getting started. If Hell is 3 feet down, he is at the first inch mark, and then you sometimes tunnel. The time to start the battle is at the beginning.

God how I hate cancer. I had forgotten just how bad it is. As a victim you feel helpless and sometimes, even though you say one thing positive you feel like your drowning and in a sea of hopeless pain and misery. I remember when people came to see me and I saw, even though they would try and hide it, the pain and shock in their faces when they looked and talked to me. That isn't as bad as it gets though. The worse part is when you hurt so bad for so long, you just kind of don't notice it, actually expect it. Death becomes quite an attractive option, yet you don't have options anymore.

As a spectator you feel worthless and helpless, useless at times. All you can do is watch and help as much as they will allow you, and pray. We've lost quite a few to cancer in our family over the years, too many. I'm not sure how nurses and doctors work in that field, but I'm sure glad they do. I'm not sure how they can keep their heart yet they seem to have bigger hearts. They remain distant enough to not have sympathy, yet close enough to have compassion. This is something that heroes are made of. Something that can and does make a huge difference in the outcome.

I think today Charlie is getting more fluids, one of the mistakes I made he is doing right. He will be in the company of the ladies at the Chemo Hut where he will get compassion without sympathy. He is going to have to fight though, and I know how hard it is to do that. I think faith and fighting is all the individual has at their disposal. In the end though, God makes the final call. I do think though we are to fight with all we have.

05-09-2011

2011-05-09T20:24:00.000-07:00

Finally coming out of it while Charlie goes deeper down into it. Somehow that takes the joy out of coming out of it. I actually got up feeling good for a change and planned on getting a lot done. Take advantage of the good day and accomplish what I could before surgery next week. Somehow that just didn't happen.

I've had emotionally and psychologically some downs lately and today I think I finally turned the corner, with some help. I ran into BB and we talked a long time at Easy In, it felt good. Nathan, BB's son came in. Now there is a smart and talented kid, well I should say man, he has grown up now. I ended up going over to his house after mowing mom's yard and we sat and talked. Man did I even need that. Unfortunately BB didn't get what he was doing done either, but he didn't seem to mind.

We grew up together and even though we're cousins I always considered him a brother. Since he is older I looked up to him and because of that, I didn't get into the drug scene, my brief encounter ended as quick as it started. We looked the part with hair to our waists, beards, and bikes. We talked current times, reminisced older times. I think this is what I've needed for a long time. I've always been able to tell BB things that I probably never will tell another person. He is one of the few people that I have never questioned his heart, motives or honesty. He has always had a level head, even when we were kids. Funny how we pass and yet live so close. Have a lot in common like cars and bikes, yet we never seem to find the time.

So... if you read this BB or Janet either one, thank you. It's also my fault Janet that he didn't get everything done. I'm sorry that I kept him. And, thank you too Janet for lending an ear.

05-08-2011

2011-05-07T23:04:00.000-07:00

I meant to add this up for tonight but forgot. This is from Dr Mercola's site and the videos I would recommend watching. http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2011/05/07/medical-marijuana-becoming-blockbuster-drug.aspx

05-07-2011

2011-05-07T20:57:00.000-07:00

I'm just now getting over the stomach bug that's going around. Yuk, but I've seen worse. We went to Yard Sales today then come back and tilled the garden, even though the soil is damp, and planted a few things. During the course of hooking up the Rotovator I accidentally slung the Sledge Hammer and hit right below the knee. Now it's swelled big enough to look like I have two knees, lol. So I'm limping. Funny how there is just not much skin or muscles on the shin. I think I deserved that though.

The 40mg of Predsione a day have made me ill as a hornet. I can't even stand myself lately. It seems that depression, anger, nerves on end, and a deep rage at times boils inside me. I've had a tremble in my hands a bit since the Chemo, an unsteady gate if it were a walk, but as it is, shaky I guess you could say. Added with numbness and it is hard to do some tasks I once could, but I've learned to just deal with it. Except lately I get all these hyped emotions.

So today I just snapped. Guess we had a little too much bonding. :) I'm going to blame it on the meds, but I know it was no excuse. I think these things are there. Not the things I said, but the frustration, pain, aggravation, and I guess anger that you can't do what you want to do, what you use to do. Maybe this stuff just heightens them, I'm not sure. I've done good at keeping it in check until today. Man do i ever have a mouth on me at times, and attitude to match.

05-05-2011

2011-05-05T21:15:00.000-07:00

Today hit Charlie hard and he pretty much stayed in bed. I talked briefly to him, I know how hard it is to talk sick and with pain. If his is like mine tomorrow will be worse, but the Saturday will be better. My 1st treatment was the easiest, hopefully his will all be easier,or at least no worse.

I goofed off today at a yard sale, I'm still not quite recovered. We have another guy coming to give an estimate on the storm damage tomorrow. Tomorrow I hope to be more about in terms of accomplishing things. I really need to get the beans and corn planted, I'm just not sure why, lol. I sat yesterday and read and listened to music. Found some new songs. I like this one...

05-03-2011

2011-05-03T21:08:00.000-07:00

Charlie done his first Chemo today at the Chemo Hut at UT. It went well. He said they told him to tell me Hi. That is a great bunch of people there. He has about 2 days before the bomb hits.

Today was a loss. I went outside and tossed a few rocks from the garden and almost instantly my throat started swelling again, so I came in. It took a few hours for it to go back down. I really need to get the oxygen tank filled. Now if I can just remember that, lol. I got less than 2 weeks before surgery and already I'm behind what needs done, just in case I'm down a bit. I dread the respiratory again. It didn't hurt but it's definitely freaky.

I plan to chat with Rathfoot, no trach for now. It is garden season and bike season. It's also past time I repair the wall downstairs and other odds and ends. The storm damage though will be hired out to Mike to do. That will come later, there are plenty of people that he is working on that have worse damage, so we can wait. It ain't going nowhere, we ain't having to feed it or water it, lol. I do need to check the roof though to make sure it's not leaking. One could say it got the hail beat out of it... pun intended.

Matt done well again today. He worries too much about staying busy but no more than he charges they're coming in left and right. If he sets for an hour and not doing something he worries, lol. I never realized that he is a perfectionist, either that or OCD, lol. It has to be just right, perfect. He has a lot of passion working on computers. They will be married I think Misty said something like 10 years this week. How could I have not noticed that?

Today has been a bit strange. I noticed that I am old now and my kids are grown. My grandkids are now at the age my kids should be. My biggest fear is being a burden rather than making more money or buying stuff... not that I haven't went a little stupid lately, lol. I ran off today without my teeth, ralmao. I didn't even notice until I smiled at the store. Thats when I felt the two canine teeth that stick way up to hold the partial on. What a look I got, lol. I look like a werewolf or vampire without my partial. How on earth does one forget their teeth?

I guess the same way that I catch myself doing what dad done to us kids, sticking them out, putting them upside down and walking past them. I use to look at him and think, does he think that is funny? Well, now I know what he thought because I'm doing the same thing, lol. If nothing else, I'm amused. And I just now found the last pill in under the partial. I thought something tasted weird. I've little taste buds left that work but that was a bit bitter. Think it was one of the steroids. Somehow they aren't working for me like they did for muscle men, my belly is bulking up rather than my arms.

05-01-11

2011-05-02T10:20:00.000-07:00

Well here I set again, today ended as quick as it started. About all I got done was 2 block laid and a small part of the garden tilled, so here I set until my swelling goes down in my throat. I've dug out my old hat I wore last year, not the one I wanted but it will do. I took some Benadryl so hopefully that will take this down enough to breathe and at the same time not knock me out. Not so much pain as it is my wind getting cut off. Like a noose is around my neck.

I had big plans to get a lot more done before surgery in a couple of weeks, but I guess the "best laid plans of men and mice" applies. Then again, I ain't done trying yet either. First things first though. I have to get the tiller back into the garage and the wheel barrel full of mud used up. I'll start with my mask this time instead of waiting to wear it. I may even write stupid on my head. :)

Charlie starts his chemo tomorrow and not the light doses he first thought. He chose Dr. Panella at UT, same doctor I have. He shoots pretty straight and takes the time to explain. He is a good doctor. He saw Ruth today too. He laughed and said she told him he wasn't as stubborn as I am. :) It seems to have Charlie's spirits lifted a bit, he was ready to give up yesterday. I never been much on pain pills until this, but they are a blessing in a lot of ways and now Charlie can catch a break. This is his calm before the storm. Real pain hasn't set in just yet, may God be with him through this. I'm trying to get him to learn the web, there is so much enlightening information up here that can help him remain positive.

I know for me, I had a bit of a learning curve with the heart attack, still, without this blog and 106.9 The Light radio station, and other websites, it would have been much rougher. His tastes differ in a few ways than mine, but we are mutual on many things. There is a preacher that a reader turned me onto named Mike Hoggard that I listened to early this morning. He seems pretty good to me, actually one of the best I've heard in a long time. I placed a link on his name. Then I like Chris White and his info. There is also Chip Ingram and Chuck Swindoll. Cancer is a battle, but that doesn't mean one has to fight unarmed or alone. There is also a website called Blog For A Cure that if had I have know existed I would have probably blogged there.

Well, I've pretty well loaded this post with links, killed some time, and hoping it will go down enough to get back to it.

Rathfoot visit

2011-04-28T19:34:00.000-07:00

We went to a visit with Dr Rathfoot. He scoped me and saw the swelling still there, plus some. He asked if I had been around anybody sick, which I have almost consecutively this year, apparently my luck ran out. He said I have a cold, something I was suppose to avoid.

He upped my Predisone dose 20mg twice a day and taped it down. 1 antibiotic, Avelox, once a day. This will go until next month when I will be scheduled for surgery, after the Cardiologist clears me. He will inject the area with Kenalog and I'm hoping send me back. He also discussed a temporary Trach, but I'm not sure if this was during that or if this fails. It would allow time for my throat to heal. I'm not really wanting to go along with that one. It's garden and bike season, plus I have more to get done than I've ever had to do and a lot less energy to do it with. There was something else she got filled but I'm not sure what it was.

We are all worn out after what seemed to be Hell night last night. Storm after storm rolling through, the first one being the worse and the second getting fairly close to the first one. So when we got back I walked around looking at the damage. We were far luckier than a lot of other places. The golf ball sized hail punched holes that looked like God had fired a large shotgun through the vinyl siding at Matt & Misty's house and buildings. We don't have siding like that here, so it just blew off paint in spots. Beat up Denise's car a bit and the Taurus, broke the windshield on Big Ugly. As usual, it washed our driveway out again, just not as bad this time...yet. Most of the neighbors houses that had vinyl siding had holes in it and Mark's windows were exploded in the front of his house. Thank God nobody though was hurt and the animals are all alive.

Today is Matt's birthday.

04-22-2011

2011-04-22T21:12:00.000-07:00

It's been a long day today. I don't know if last night was cramps or muscles spasms, or if there is a difference, but what a loooong night it was. Those things are painful. The last was about 7:30 or 8 am and that one left me limping from the pain in the right calf muscle and ankle. Kay at the hardware seemed to think it might be the Predisone and suggest maybe Magnesium. This is more than three nights like that so far together, the most consecutive so far. At this point I'm willing to give almost anything a try. I know I probably can't stop the steroids after this many months and they are helping the swelling from cutting my wind off. I'd scream but I've not the voice to do that, so perhaps a low tone.

I hung out at the office today with mom and Matt. I didn't get nothing done at all. I'm worn out. I watched Matt work on some computers and listened to mom work with her clients and customers. Matt seems to be somewhat of a perfectionist. He drives himself nuts making sure it is all perfectly done, guess that is a good thing. We are a lot alike but not in that way, lol.

Charlie had his biopsy today, his second. I told him that Vanderbilt liked their own. The scars were not even healed when I went there very good for the NHL. I remember thinking that since the biopsies were fresh, one in each leg, that part was over. Wrong. They took new ones from my ankles. I guess that is a good thing though. He really likes his doctor there. He told Charlie he could fix him. He will have 4 light chemos and some radiation to shrink it. Afterward they will cut the mass out. They said they type he will be taking will not take his hair out and not make him sick. I really hope and pray it don't.

I hope tonight is restful. No waking up with whatever that is. Denise not having to alter me for my breathing. Just a good night's sleep. The tightness in my throat though tonight begs to differ, hope it's wrong. I'm putting my magnetic necklace back on tonight too. The two dics that never healed back up seem to be active. Then again, with the shoulder, elbows, knees... nothing ain't active, lol. I think it's all this liquid sunshine we've been getting.

04-08-2011

2011-04-15T23:40:00.000-07:00

   Long day today. I started out going with Matt to Knoxville to a place where a lot of computer shops get their computers to be repair or resold. We left out about 8:30am. Later on Denise came home and we headed to Knoxville, my second trip of the day to Knoxville. We were both pleasantly surprised to get to UT to a pretty much empty waiting room. Seems we hadn't sat down for long before I was called to the window, then blood work, then straight from there to the room. Man it was quick. It was nice to see some familiar faces back that we didn't see the last round. We even seen Ruth as we went back, but as usual, she was wide open. I don't know what she makes... but it ain't enough.

Dr Panella came in with a big smiling face as usual. He asked several questions about the neuropathy, especially in the hands, which hasn't changed. He looked in my throat with a light and liked what he saw...or rather that is what he didn't see. I asked him about the CT Scan. He said it wasn't good news. He said the mass was still there but since it had not grown that he was calling the cancer gone for now. It appears to be radiation damage. The nodules in my lungs, some had gone and some had calcified, a little infection, but no cause for concern. Judging from that, no CT Scan was ordered for my lungs again. He also didn't order a follow-up CT when I return in 6 months.

   I think sometimes that Dr Panella don't know what to make of me with my twisted sense of humor and straight forward, blunt approach. I don't think many people do. He just smiles and laughs along with me. I actually think he is as good a person as he is a doctor. On the way out I looked in the Chemo Hut and lo and behold, there was Cindy surrounded by a room of new faces working. I couldn't help but stop in and say hello to her. There was, I think just two people left taking treatments, I remember when I was one of them. I thanked her for taking such good care of me.

We went to Sams and got some stuff, then picked up Megan and headed back out, shoot, we even celebrated with dinner at The Golden Coral. Then, later tonight, Matt called and had found a board and processor on Craig's List. Guess where we took off towards at 11pm... Clinton, TN. The guy lied about what he had, but it was still a good deal. It would have been a better deal if we didn't have to drive all the way there in a storm. Too funny, Matt says he is going to take the heat sink off the processor, then looks at it and says, "That's not a quad core, it's a Core Duo". The guy's face though had lite up when Matt said he was going to check it out. He had brought the box from a Quad and was passing it off as the box it belonged too. At 1am, he just had to see if the guy was also lying about it being good, so he rigged it up. It works great! This is the start of building a new computer for the Sunroom.

Matt has stayed busy, and this is just his first week! He named the business M&M Computer Services, aka Matt & Misty. Today it seems that the Apples have done the best, yesterday it was the PCs. He picked up another doctor's office this week and the computer repair shops that bring their hard to repair computers to him are still bring them to him, despite his opening his own shop.

Yesterday I got the bulk of the Bookcase made and it's standing up against the wall it will mount to. We gave away 3 dozen eggs. Annie got into Nursing School. Charlie got his arrangements made for his appointment at Vanderbilt. It has been a GREAT week.

Now for the worst part. I weighed in at 225! Time to lose a few pounds.

04-11-2011

2011-04-11T21:32:00.000-07:00

Funny, I thought I had posted since the 11th, but it looks like maybe not. I'm still trying to get use to this new computer... well, it's new to me anyway. Matt done an excellent job. It's fast and has Windows 7 on it now, and I haven't a clue how to operate it yet. (grin). I even changed over to Charter as a test, so far, not bad but not exactly blazin' either.

The NHL is pretty rough right now, patches everywhere. My feet look like they've been boiled. Lucky for me though the neuropathy has that under control as far as feeling it, lol. Being outside in the garden seemed to have stopped it from my eyelids. I took a Dyfluken (spelling) that Rathfoot prescribed which caused all kinds of weird stuff to come up which may my throat not feel as closed off. I think Denise wants to have a chat with him on why this isn't done more often.

The pills Schindler gave me seemed to head off the effects of being around the grandkids, Kaden had Scarlet Fever. Not sure about Baby. I think that fever is a childhood disease.

Charlie came back again today, we sound alike. I've tried to be tough with him like he was with me. There is a fine line between tough and tender. He is scared and rightly so. Finally they are starting to work on him after a call to be more proactive in the treatment. He has already lost 12 pounds. I thank God that he will not have to do chemo and especially Radiation, he wouldn't make it I fear.

I worked in the garden these last 3 days since the signs were in the breast. Today I mostly fumbled around, but I tried. I have these great plans and then when I start I soon find out they are just great dreams of the past abilities as reality sets in. All I got done today was picking up rocks and a little tilling. When Denise came home she helped me make a row of Okra. I had figured at least 2 rows of beans would be set out today. I failed that pretty good. I got some pretty deep cuts from rocks and glass that is in there, the best part is, there is a little pain involved when I touch the cuts.

Matt's first day open was today, we put the sign up Saturday night. He named it M&M Computer Services, named for Matt & Misty. He already has 2 jobs to do... on the first day! That is great I think. I took the downstairs computer to him. I'm going to have him make it similar to this one. All we really lack is green beans, corn, Tn Mellon, and Cantaloupe. I'm definitely dropping the 2 acres thing on corn.

If I sleep with my teeth in, it will be day 3, or rather night 3. It seems to stimulate at least 1 saliva gland somewhat. It ain't perfect but it beats waking up either so dry you are in pain or the classic, tongue stuck to the roof of the mouth.

My hair is almost long enough to cover my neck. I'm not sure that I like it but I like what it can do for me. I never can remember to keep adding the sunblock. Storms rolling in tonight. Just a guess, I'll sleep right through them.

04-07-2011

2011-04-07T21:33:00.000-07:00

Long day today, much longer than I intended. I awoke this morning to a completely raw left side of my throat. Kaden and Baby both are sick, I think Misty said that Kaden has Scarlet Fever. I've made it pasted catching much this winter, but I think this one got me.

Me and Denise headed to UT about 6am, too early for anything except Milkmen. The scan went great as far as being smooth. The ladies there were great. While we were waiting we saw. It took me a bit to place her but eventually I did. Her husband now has cancer. We chatted but a bit before I was called back. We saw them in a room as we were passing by. I couldn't help but remember, even though I couldn't place where, that she had given me excellent care, so I thanked her and wished them well. I know that I had an appointment with Green and asked Denise when it is, the correct question should have been when was it. It seems that my teeth had clashed with his check-up. Oops. Denise doesn't care for Green, says that he is through with me, yet I like him and would have liked a follow-up visit.

So the scan is done. They scanned my throat and lungs. The results will be given at my appointment to Panella's visit on the 15th. I and praying that all is good. When we got back I called Rathfoot and talked with his nurse. More preidisone and Dyfluken (spelling).

I went to Knoxville with Matt and Gregg. He has already sold the computer he bought to fix and wanted another one. He got him two he can repair and sell and later on, There is a guy that owns a shop in Knox County that has a retail business that brought him 5 Apples to fix today. I got 1 more component to come in and I'll be ready to create mine, but I'll wait until Matt has time to. The guy Philip at the place seems very nice.

I came back and talked with Dr Schindler's nurse who said to come it at 10:30 am , so I did. He saw my throat was extremely red, no fever though, but also felt my lymph nodes in my neck and said they are swelled.. He prescribed me some Keflex I think. He is a genuine man, something that is pretty rare these days.

So tomorrow, God willing, I will either go get the other doors or forming this one and installing it while laying some more blocks. I'm pretty much down tonight, so it will a flip toss as to if I wake up early enough.

04-03-2011

2011-04-03T20:19:00.000-07:00

I haven't been on much lately. This computer is like me, slightly challenged at times and a bit outdated. :) Matt fixed it enough to get me by and even went one step more, talked me out of buying another one. I thought oh great, another thing popped up. Between a beginning of tests and doctor visits with meeting a deductible again, the flood damaging the fences and even worse, the foundation, driveway, medications, teeth, we watch what we spend. He gave me a board, suggested we use the old case, then looked on Ebay and other places for the right components to build one that I normally couldn't afford pretty dang cheap. The parts are ordered and he will put it together when they get here. We were up until 1:11am last night and he worked on it until 3am the night before. I knew Matt was smart on this stuff, especially after getting certified, but I guess I didn't know just how smart. I've got a degree in electronics repair from 1982 but got behind on all the technology. He memorizes all this stuff like Denise does medications. How I have no idea, I ran off the other day and had to come back to get my teeth, lol. I never thought I'd say that. :)

So today me and Matt went to Office Max and he got some card stock to make him some cards. He is going to open a computer repair business in the office where mom has American Homes and Realty here in town. Matt is smart but also kind hearted, so I think he will do good. I think it will be great. Mom and him will be there to keep each other company, I know since I left she gets lonely up there. She doesn't have a lot of down time but after dad's passing, with dad not coming in and out and me gone, I know she likes company. He still isn't sure what he will call it, but I think he will do fine. Matt also fixed Denise's heater on her car.

I done a boo-boo again and even a few people noticed the swelling. I think maybe I am eating some stuff I shouldn't since I have the teeth. Tomorrow Dr. Steltzman will adjust them. They are tight but get a little bit of food under in a few spots. My gums are a bit sore in places and I've not been wearing them when I'm home unless I'm eating. I think I know why horses don't like bridles now, lol. I'll get use to them though over time. A lot of times already I don't notice they are in there. I have some saliva glands at least trying to work. Funny, it's been so long I get chocked a lot of times from having spit. I still have to carry liquid with me but can go longer without it.

I rode the bike around the block myself and up town. I'm still not quite back up to snuff yet and in part it was to see how I did. Not that I would want to wreck, but I don't want to endanger Denise. I done good but just a little more I think.

My new scans are this month, so hopefully they will show all clear. I've thought about that a lot lately. Either way, I think I will have won. I use to say I wouldn't go this far for treatments but it has been well worth all the Hell I went through to have just a bit more time. Translated that is an endorsement for fight and seek help.

Charlie is coming to terms with his and he has tests that start this month too. At first he seemed defeated and that worried me, but now he is ready to fight. I've given him some of those lectures he gave me. I think for those who first hear the word cancer, or that something can't be cured, it is a shock. That is natural. The first time I hear that was Pernicious Anemia. We were the same way. It's about the same grieving process as death or divorce. His worries and fears are the same as mine were about getting choked in public. It's not that one will die from aspiration, it's the embarrassment of being in public. Like I told him though, after a while one learns to quietly dislodge the stuff and control the panic. Funny what a person can get use to and overcome. Normal is just a term that allows for adjustment.

03-30-2011

2011-03-30T10:43:00.000-07:00

I went again yesterday to Dr Stelzman to get fitted. The first fitment of the frame was Monday. The frame sat down good but I really couldn't tell what it was and a mold was made from what looked like wax or something then something else that felt like playdo was squirted in. Yesterday it had and looked like the real thing. They put it in and he lined it up, it felt and looked great. Dr Stelzman wasn't liking the way two of the teeth looked after the adjustment and sent it off with the proper adjustments to be made. I'm suppose to get it tomorrow.

From the looks of it I can't wait. I may just go ahead after the test next month and get the uppers done. Part of me just wants a time with no pain though, or at least no more than usual, which is tolerable most of the time, more of a nuisance. I am so excited though. I wasn't sure just how well I would like wearing them but I don't think I have ever been so tickled in all of my life to get something. This is definitely one of the top 10 best moments of my life. I spent the last two years with 6 or less teeth on the bottom, thank God they were in front. I think I had maybe 5 left? The last two days I have 2 on the bottom, the I teeth, one on each side. Denise has been making soft meals and I squish the food on the roof of my mouth with my tongue to eat, but with my weigh these days it's not like I'll starve to death anytime soon. :) Man it looked great.

Again, I have a great doctor with a great staff. Dr Stelzman took the time to tell me all about how it would work, future expectations and adjustments. He wasn't on our insurance plan but then again, I knew them from delivering to them for years, plus I've been going there for a long time. I think they are worth the extra price that I will pay. I've gotten to where I despise the way insurance companies work these days. I've talked with many people and you get what you pay for, even though they are cheaper there than a lot of places. They are all perfectionists and take a lot of pride in their work.

As for Charlie, he still has no date set yet. Covenant Health might want to take notes on their care from UT and St Mary's. Watching how they are dragging their feet with him, I thank God everyday for my doctors and the hospitals I go to.

In case I didn't say it, no matter how it turns out. Thanks to Doctors: Rathfoot, Panella, Green, & Schindler, their staffs, and UT, St Mary's. A huge thanks to Kim, I know you are technically not my doctor, but should you ever decide to open a practice, I be the first one there.

03-27-2011

2011-03-27T21:43:00.000-07:00

Had a few set backs the last few days. I may have found my apex on what I can do. My throat feels like someone squeezing on it and breathing is all but impossible. I think maybe I may have overdone. The acid reflux over this past week hasn't helped either. I had Megan out of school for a week for Spring Break and we worked. We talked a lot too and that played a factor. We did hit Yoder's Market and Sams yesterday though, then I went to Glen & Pam's wedding. It was beautiful.

Tomorrow I go to the dentist for my framework? I hope that means that soon I will have my partial. The plastic bridge is broken on both ends, has been for a while, and Gorilla Glue is holding it on.

Charlie is to have surgery and they still don't know much more than they did as to when or what or even if there is even any Lymph Node activity. I thank God for Rathfoot, Panella, and Green. And for UT and Saint Mary's. They got on the ball with mine.

Next month is the test again to see if mine is gone. With the way this past few weeks have gone it worries me.

03-22-2011

2011-03-22T22:10:00.000-07:00

Megan helped me downstairs today. She caught on fast, but I wasn't too fast myself. I had a bit of a time breathing today so I took my time, but we made some progress. She got me in trouble tonight, told Denise about a spell I had that hit in my heart (racing) and clear through the back and left kidney. I didn't use Nitro though, just rested until it passed.

After that I decided to take the rototiller and do two gardens... one was really still too wet. Naturally Denise went off. Larry & Trenda with their son came over on their bikes and visited. They were headed to the Smokies.

Charlie got his news today. The type of cancer he has will not respond to radiation or chemo, so they are going to surgically remove it at Vanderbilt. Here is the ironic part. It was Charlie who helped me make it through without having to take a Peck Tube or Trake... he will have to have both. But then he will be done. I am so relieved that he escaped chemo and radiation. He is scared and would rather have the opposite done. From what I've been told he will be down just briefly, and with none of those side effects you have with chemo and radiation. Thank God. Now if we could just get him to see it. I told him God willing, I'll grow enough cucumbers and tomatoes for him this summer and when it comes out, he can pig out. So I added the old garden and I'm going to get the other one ready too. I'm thinking maybe strawing around the plants since I know I can't do what I am about to attempt the regular way of hand weeding.

You can see the dampness on the old wall behind as well as the break in the foundation due to water.

03-21-2011

2011-03-21T22:18:00.001-07:00

Decent day today, but slowing down. If I can get in 1 more decent day before the rain I'll like it better.

03-18-2011

2011-03-17T23:55:00.000-07:00

Happy 22nd Anniversary Denise! Yea, I know you will come up here and see if I posted this. :)

If also marks 1 year dad's passing.

03-15-2011

2011-03-15T10:35:00.000-07:00

First day I've been up and alert in almost 2 days. Yesterday I slept all the way through this morning with the exception of a few times I briefly woke up. I think my system already being down and then using that deodorant and having a reaction to it took me the rest of the way down. The only thing different was that it had Zinc. I've tried finding the same one we found a while back that didn't contain Aluminum in it and didn't smell like a skunk in heat. I haven't forgotten the doctors telling the ladies in the Chemo Hut to make sure they did not use deodorant with Aluminum. Hint to manufacturers, most men do not like to smell like a skunk ape! Hint to guys that wear 1.99 per gallon skunk ape Cologne don't turn ladies on, especially on the arm pits. Peppe Le Pew was a cartoon character. So today I'm up so far, but weak. The swelling in my armpits, face, and neck have went down almost to normal after tons of Benedryl pills and cream.

Charlie had his biopsy yesterday and his results will come later this week. They do know that the type of his throat cancer isn't the Squamous Cell Carcinoma like mine, but his treatment plan will be similar. That breaks my heart. I know that what he about to enter is nothing short of Hell on earth. There has to be a better way than this. We can put a man on the moon, vehicles on Mars, a 100 year old man an erection, but we can't find a cure for cancer, diabetes, and MS? Where does that place our priorities as a people? Charlie also has diabetes but has controlled it with his diet and occasionally I think a pill. My heart just breaks for him and all the other people who have to go through this, and that includes the care givers as well.

Amazing Grace - Rhema 7yr old Gospel singer plz "Share"

2011-03-13T07:06:00.000-07:00

03-11-2011

2011-03-11T22:01:00.000-08:00

Down yet again today, much worse than the previous two days. I've been getting maybe 3 hours of sleep a night for the last 3 or 4 nights. I think being without any moisture yesterday also increased the problem, but that was my fault. I went to the dentist to have the caps fitted and take the impression of my upper and lower. Time and time again they asked if I was alright and I shook my head yes, thinking it would only be a few more minutes. They made a slot for me so I was there over 2 hours and by the time it came to rinsing out my mouth, before they could suction the water back up I swallowed it, the next squirt too. It felt so good.

Today I broke down and took a pain pill. First one since my extractions, I had left overs. Denise tried to get me to call Rathfoot but I declined. Last night she wanted me to take a pain pill but I absolutely hate the way they make me fill. Finally tonight though I caved in. I have little to no voice.

I think Kim may have an excellent point. I did wear a mask inside the basement but I took it off to mix the cement. I know I developed an allergy to any type of cement a few years back, funny, I worked in it for 2 1/2 years with no problem and played around laying block, rock, and tile with no problem. Then all the sudden something changed. Left side of my face is numb on the outside and the left side of my throat I wish would be numb inside too. It has swelled enough to give a referral pain in the left ear. Pieces of some kind of whitish, grayish pieces come loose occasionally. Have no idea what they are though and I done that before.

Called to tell Charlie to gargle with warm salt water to ease his pain, then figured I'd do some of my own medicine, lol. That is where the pain pill came in, shortly there afterward. I wanted not to call him again today since I have very little voice, it strains to even breathe, and he don't need anything else to scare him. Next week is his biopsy.

Note to self. Make sure the throat is always lubricated.

03-08-2011

2011-03-09T16:52:00.000-08:00

Paying for the last two days of active. Tonight and all through the day my throat has swelled on the left side making it hard to breathe. The left side of my jaw and down my throat is numb, feels like when you go to the dentist type of numb. Pain in talking so I actually didn't talk much today. Denise looked and felt tonight and it is visible on the left side and she can feel it as well. I've just kind of chilled today. I did put 2 light fixtures up at mom's and 1 at Misty's, but that was it. I haven't slept well in the last 3 nights, maybe that is the fatigue. Tomorrow I need to feed the cows, maybe fresh air will help. Denise wants me to call Rathfoot to make a new appointment. After checking it out she feels something needs to be done, especially since the meds aren't working. It could be the concrete, I have an allergy to it when it is dry. Hopefully not, I'm too slow already and have a lot to go.

Charlie came back yesterday and hung out for a while. He is in pain and having a hard time eating and breathing. We went over what foods I done ok with swallowing and what stood a better chance of aspirating. He gets choked on his own saliva, I done that too when I had saliva. I'm trying to convince him that he will probably have a better go at it than I did and that we know what errors were made and what to look out for. We didn't have a clue when I went through it. We can do better this time.