I got a small amount of sleep last night, just a few hours. Me and Denise went to UT today. We saw Dr Bertoli, Dr Green was on vacation. Dr Huntsinger, when she called in my medicine said we should talk with the doctor, plus Green had said to see them before treatment. Bertoli is as nice as his reputation. He checked my neck out and we told him about the abscess tooth and he asked questions while looking at it. He then cleared me for round 2. He asked on a pain scale what the abscess was, I guessed 2-3 at best, then again I have the pain patch on. I told him at it's worse that it wasn't bad enough to take the morphine. I'm sure I needed it at the time, and that time may come again, but not this day. He did prescribe some Perceot, which I don't need, but we took it just in case.
I will have to say one thing for the doctors there, they will take the time to explain to you whatever you ask. They take their time. He said that as long as the bone wasn't affected and it was small tissue they weren't worried about it. Then he explained how the jaw bone can die. If you or a loved one goes through head or neck cancer, listen and do what they say when they say get your dental problems fixed and check to see if there are any. This is critical.
The ladies there were all very nice and welcomed me back. I have to admit that you do get attached to the ones giving you care. It is impressive how they care for what they do and just how hard they work. They took X-Rays today. It was a long session, but I had the cocktail already working. Even that however was pushed to the limits.
We then went over to Panella's to tell Ruth as instructed to by Huntsinger. Ruth was on vacation and another lady came out, haven't seen her before. She wasn't too nice and wanted to know what we wanted and suggested we see a dentist. Thank God she isn't my nurse. We informed her that we were just informing as we were told to do, that is all we were there for and that we were searching for a dentist. It is so funny the difference in people and I feel sorry for whomever she gets assigned to, or the doctor she represented. Nothing like Panella and his nurses.
Denise was quite please at what all I ate. We stopped at Shoney's and pigged out on the breakfast bar. I ate almost a whole plate of stuff. Man was we ever full. lol We called a dentist, I think her name is Amanda Green, across from Lowes. They agreed to see me at 11:15. I must be getting older, she looks so young. She seemed on top of the seriousness of working on a radiation patient. Her and her staff are good. In the X-Ray that goes all around she spotted yet another abscess, the first tooth that came out shortly after the beginning. We go the Thursday after this one to have a root canal done and she says she can save the tooth. Dentistry is a bit more expensive than I remembered. She understands the risks of a lot of work during this time, but she went over what needed to be done when this is all over. I think I like her so when this is all said and done, Denise was certainly impressed with her. I hope I got the name right. She was one of the only Dentist offices open. Doctors I think have it a lot rougher than dentists, doctors I know work all the time.
We got back and I called my brother to see if he still wanted to go look at the Flat Bed for Big Ugly, and he did. I called the guy and he had his forklift there so I took cash and we got it. Can you say doghouse? It was cold, I was tired. and the tractor's power steering wasn't working too well, so I placed it where I could at the time. That thing weighs between 1,000 - 1,500 lbs. It will be a long time before I can work on it and I may have to pay someone to, but it is here.
Me and Denise went out to eat. I needed this day. I helped go over the contract I was working on before I went down over the phone. We done that until tonight my voice was gone. It's been one of those long drawn out ones. This day has gone right for a change. Now that the day's at end, Denise cleaned and dressed my neck and bottom of my feet and maybe bedtime early. Naw, lol.
I thank God for this day. I think He knows what we need and when we need it.
I plan on eating everything I like while I can, while I can. As for drinks though, I think I'll just stick with Tea and water, least we forget milk. I tried a Coke again today and they just don't appeal.
Monday, December 28, 2009
12-28
1st Post:
Once tonight I awoke and I was numb in my feet and hands. My throat was sticky and sore feeling so I assume that I was mouth breathing. At 4:20am, Denise just woke me. she heard me mouth breathing from her room across the hall with her door partially open. Maybe my fears are unwarranted, I don't know, but I do know that it does some damage or at least it feels like it does. It's not long before we get up to go to UT so I may just stay awake. I'm not sure who to ask about this. Which doctor? If I ever had this problem before all of this started, I don't know about it or maybe it didn't have the same effect, or how to correct it. I think it goes back to even before the treatments but does it go back to before the cancer. What happens if nobody awakens me? So many questions.
Lisa and Cody brought me some of the wonderful sour dough bread she makes. Thank you both for that. I ate 4 thin pieces bathed and toasted in Amish butter and then smothered in Applebutter. If fattening and delicious go together, I should have gain a few pounds. I can't wait to make a sandwich from it with some turkey and cheese. That bread is even good just by itself. It was also very good to meet you Cody and remember... you can do this. You have wonderful, good parents and the apple never falls far from the tree. That gives you an excellent head start in life and it looks as though you are following it well.
Once tonight I awoke and I was numb in my feet and hands. My throat was sticky and sore feeling so I assume that I was mouth breathing. At 4:20am, Denise just woke me. she heard me mouth breathing from her room across the hall with her door partially open. Maybe my fears are unwarranted, I don't know, but I do know that it does some damage or at least it feels like it does. It's not long before we get up to go to UT so I may just stay awake. I'm not sure who to ask about this. Which doctor? If I ever had this problem before all of this started, I don't know about it or maybe it didn't have the same effect, or how to correct it. I think it goes back to even before the treatments but does it go back to before the cancer. What happens if nobody awakens me? So many questions.
Lisa and Cody brought me some of the wonderful sour dough bread she makes. Thank you both for that. I ate 4 thin pieces bathed and toasted in Amish butter and then smothered in Applebutter. If fattening and delicious go together, I should have gain a few pounds. I can't wait to make a sandwich from it with some turkey and cheese. That bread is even good just by itself. It was also very good to meet you Cody and remember... you can do this. You have wonderful, good parents and the apple never falls far from the tree. That gives you an excellent head start in life and it looks as though you are following it well.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
12-27
We have checked my weight this morning yet, another problem. The tooth that broke has now abscessed and has swelled my right side of my jaw as of last night it has swelled into my throat, right where the tumor is. Of all the luck. Last night the pain broke through all the pain medication, but I didn't take any Morphine. Some bloody spit came out a few time and a horrible taste is in my mouth.
I'm not sure if it is related or what but I became dizzy last night and I still am. We talked about going to the ER but the risk of infection is too great considering a UT dentist said that ER is not equipped for dental. It would be a source to get some Penicillin and one would think that a doctor could lance the gum or something to give this stuff an exit. Rama is out of town or we could get him to call me in some and Deb isn't home.
I told Denise wouldn't that be ironic, live through all this just to be took out by a tooth. From what I've read it is on the bottom and that can lead to the heart. I always keep Nitro but I think that would be like taking a whiz on a forest fire to put it out.
Later:
Bingo. We called the emergency number for Dr Panella and Dr Huntsinger called us back with 10 minutes. She is calling me in some Penicillin at Wal-Greens.
Tonight:
We got the medicine and hopefully it works. The swelling has gone down a bit but it still lacks a lot. It has swelled the side of the throat the tumor was on. We go tomorrow for a treatment but Dr Huntsinger wants us to inform and have Dr Green look before and decide if he should treat it or wait. Then we were instructed to call Ruth. The swelling went down the right side of my jaw and right into the part of the throat where the tumor was. Go figure, lol. Hopefully I can get into a dentist tomorrow and get a root canal done then later, after radiation is done I will have the remains extracted. Pulling seems to be quite a lengthy process during radiation so I'll postpone that. That is tooth # 2 I've lost so far during all of this.
I have only one more hole in my neck left and a few smaller spots that are still pretty burnt. The make shift meds slowed the swelling down so maybe now that I have the proper meds it will get even better. I messed with it a bit and got plenty of pain from it so far and it's all I remembered an abscess to be. I still wear the pain patch but I really don't like the Morphine so I haven't taken any today. I have stuff that will numb it, I used it on my throat and will need it yet again when the radiation gets back cranked up. I'll just eat the pain because the pain that is coming from the radiation will be intense again, a pain you just can't eat.
Tomorrow and for the next few days to a week I will enjoy eating what I want again before the pain sets in and I go back to even hurting when I drink water. I even ate some apple pie and ice cream today and ketchup. These will be intolerable by the first or second week of radiation. I weigh in at 199 lbs tomorrow. It should look about 204 at the doctor's office. I have to get a bit larger buffer for when the pain comes and eating and drinking will be hard again. Just 18 more treatments. First week shouldn't be bad but progressively get worse as it goes, based on the last time.
I'm not sure if it is related or what but I became dizzy last night and I still am. We talked about going to the ER but the risk of infection is too great considering a UT dentist said that ER is not equipped for dental. It would be a source to get some Penicillin and one would think that a doctor could lance the gum or something to give this stuff an exit. Rama is out of town or we could get him to call me in some and Deb isn't home.
I told Denise wouldn't that be ironic, live through all this just to be took out by a tooth. From what I've read it is on the bottom and that can lead to the heart. I always keep Nitro but I think that would be like taking a whiz on a forest fire to put it out.
Later:
Bingo. We called the emergency number for Dr Panella and Dr Huntsinger called us back with 10 minutes. She is calling me in some Penicillin at Wal-Greens.
Tonight:
We got the medicine and hopefully it works. The swelling has gone down a bit but it still lacks a lot. It has swelled the side of the throat the tumor was on. We go tomorrow for a treatment but Dr Huntsinger wants us to inform and have Dr Green look before and decide if he should treat it or wait. Then we were instructed to call Ruth. The swelling went down the right side of my jaw and right into the part of the throat where the tumor was. Go figure, lol. Hopefully I can get into a dentist tomorrow and get a root canal done then later, after radiation is done I will have the remains extracted. Pulling seems to be quite a lengthy process during radiation so I'll postpone that. That is tooth # 2 I've lost so far during all of this.
I have only one more hole in my neck left and a few smaller spots that are still pretty burnt. The make shift meds slowed the swelling down so maybe now that I have the proper meds it will get even better. I messed with it a bit and got plenty of pain from it so far and it's all I remembered an abscess to be. I still wear the pain patch but I really don't like the Morphine so I haven't taken any today. I have stuff that will numb it, I used it on my throat and will need it yet again when the radiation gets back cranked up. I'll just eat the pain because the pain that is coming from the radiation will be intense again, a pain you just can't eat.
Tomorrow and for the next few days to a week I will enjoy eating what I want again before the pain sets in and I go back to even hurting when I drink water. I even ate some apple pie and ice cream today and ketchup. These will be intolerable by the first or second week of radiation. I weigh in at 199 lbs tomorrow. It should look about 204 at the doctor's office. I have to get a bit larger buffer for when the pain comes and eating and drinking will be hard again. Just 18 more treatments. First week shouldn't be bad but progressively get worse as it goes, based on the last time.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
videos I like -Page 1
Keeping track a bit of videos I listen to: I'll add as found.
The first 4 are what I listened to each night. Before I knew I had throat cancer, I listened to every night and made my peace with God. I really didn't expect to wake up each morning. This went on for weeks. I would fight to stay awake and just as I would give out, I had these copied on my computer.
The first 4 are what I listened to each night. Before I knew I had throat cancer, I listened to every night and made my peace with God. I really didn't expect to wake up each morning. This went on for weeks. I would fight to stay awake and just as I would give out, I had these copied on my computer.
12-26 late post
Well we definitely now know that the tooth is live and abscessing. The right side of my lower jar is swelled. Hopefully this will have no impact on my radiation. I am so past ready for this thing to be over. Hopefully we can find a dentist that is open and willing to do a root canal and that way the pressure and puss can get out. When I was attending my family physician we still thought it was a sore throat and I was instructed to stop taking the antibiotics I was on. Guess what, I found them and started taking them for this along with Ibuprofen. My jaw is still swelled and who knows, it may be painful but with the pain patch on and the Morphine if I need it, it doesn't hurt.
I slept on and off all day, even watched a movie. At one time I gain back to 199 but I've since dropped back to 198.5 lbs. I was even able to eat apple pie! I'm not making the same mistake of drinking a Coke tonight and I've only drank 1 small glass of Pepsi. These are things that I will not be able to do very soon when radiation starts and I imagine that my throat will be back like it was in a couple of weeks. Even water hurts then.
I watered the plants in the Sunroom. I've got three banana plants that have pups, two have two each. Mark came back and got their presents, he said he liked his. William came back and we talked about a steel flat bed I've found on Craigslist.org. My fight is coming back in me. I think sometimes we just hit a wall, or at least I did. Denise and Matt took two trucks loads o trash from both houses to the dump in Big Ugly. That is who the bed is for. It ran well for them.
Denise doctored the bottom of my feet again, probably the last place left with pain from the chemo. Most of the scars are healed on the rest of my body. I noticed that the Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma has even took a hit in all but a few places. I'll ask Dr Green in our next visit if I should hit the rest with the Narrow Band UVB machine, but that be a bit much. If it is then I'll just ignore it. Since I have my own machine to give myself treatments it's no big deal. even the patches left of it aren't painful right now.
Today, except for the tooth has been a great day compared to the last few weeks. Now if just could ever get warm again. I'm about ready for bed.
Cody. I didn't know how to respond back to your message on Facebook. I'm still learning a lot on it, so I will place it here. I'm not smart or I would not have stayed on the road I was on, but thank you for the compliment. Your mom loves you and cares about you and your brother. You can quit. There is nothing about quitting that is easy and if you fail, try again. I have tried many times and if I fall again, I will get right back up again and try. You are young and strong minded and strong willed. Strength is not measured by life's fall or failures but rather by getting back up and trying again. Falling does not define a man, a man is defined by what he does after he falls. If you even need to talk just call me or email me. I looked for a certain video I found last night but couldn't find it for you. This one is second to that one. One of the most powerful words ever created is BELIEVE. Believe in yourself and believe in God.
I slept on and off all day, even watched a movie. At one time I gain back to 199 but I've since dropped back to 198.5 lbs. I was even able to eat apple pie! I'm not making the same mistake of drinking a Coke tonight and I've only drank 1 small glass of Pepsi. These are things that I will not be able to do very soon when radiation starts and I imagine that my throat will be back like it was in a couple of weeks. Even water hurts then.
I watered the plants in the Sunroom. I've got three banana plants that have pups, two have two each. Mark came back and got their presents, he said he liked his. William came back and we talked about a steel flat bed I've found on Craigslist.org. My fight is coming back in me. I think sometimes we just hit a wall, or at least I did. Denise and Matt took two trucks loads o trash from both houses to the dump in Big Ugly. That is who the bed is for. It ran well for them.
Denise doctored the bottom of my feet again, probably the last place left with pain from the chemo. Most of the scars are healed on the rest of my body. I noticed that the Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma has even took a hit in all but a few places. I'll ask Dr Green in our next visit if I should hit the rest with the Narrow Band UVB machine, but that be a bit much. If it is then I'll just ignore it. Since I have my own machine to give myself treatments it's no big deal. even the patches left of it aren't painful right now.
Today, except for the tooth has been a great day compared to the last few weeks. Now if just could ever get warm again. I'm about ready for bed.
Cody. I didn't know how to respond back to your message on Facebook. I'm still learning a lot on it, so I will place it here. I'm not smart or I would not have stayed on the road I was on, but thank you for the compliment. Your mom loves you and cares about you and your brother. You can quit. There is nothing about quitting that is easy and if you fail, try again. I have tried many times and if I fall again, I will get right back up again and try. You are young and strong minded and strong willed. Strength is not measured by life's fall or failures but rather by getting back up and trying again. Falling does not define a man, a man is defined by what he does after he falls. If you even need to talk just call me or email me. I looked for a certain video I found last night but couldn't find it for you. This one is second to that one. One of the most powerful words ever created is BELIEVE. Believe in yourself and believe in God.
12-26
It's 2:34am. I watched a couple of movies... lost track of the time watching Avatar. I ate a little more each time and attempted to strengthen the tooth, but I failed to. The Morphine doesn't do a thing for it but Ibuprofen seemed to help. I tried to coat the sides that are exposed with temporary dental fill, even tried Gorilla glue, neither worked. If it will just hold out until a dentist can be found I can get a root canal. They say that pulling a tooth during radiation is a lengthy process so it can be extracted after the radiation is finished, just can't fight or need the infection with my blood count this low. The pain is all I remember it to be. A different pain than all of this, but pain all the same. I weighed and got back to 197.5 lbs. Now if I can eat like this today and gain again I will be happy. I'm crossing my fingers that Green will know of somebody Monday or that we can find somebody. Most dentist offices are closed until Jan 4th.
Yesterday was one of the few times Denise has ever seen me cry. Over 20 years of marriage she could probably count them on one hand and still have fingers left. I have no doubts where I will go when I die, but somehow it saddened me because I know how close I am to winning, yet how close I am to losing this battle as well. I think all the pressure just built up. I have no idea where that came from or for that matter why I would even admit that I did it on this blog. I have fought hard battles before but none like this, and none with this much that just keeps coming against me. It is like seeing the finish line on the horizon but your body giving out before you get there.
My limbs and trunk have all scabbed over and many of the scabs are even healed from the chemo backfire. My throat jumped again today in healing and Monday looks better than before.
5AM
My tooth has hurt now for days and I even skipped and skimped eating trying to keep it from breaking off, at least until a dentist could be located. I still haven't slept. I got tired of hurting and worrying about it so I pulled and twisted it until it popped off. The pain isn't as of yet any stronger and maybe just a bit less. I'm still not sure if this tooth had a root canal done to it yet but if it hasn't, the nerve is covered from the air. It could have just been just putting pressure on my gum. Guess we'll see in the next few hours or days.
Yesterday was one of the few times Denise has ever seen me cry. Over 20 years of marriage she could probably count them on one hand and still have fingers left. I have no doubts where I will go when I die, but somehow it saddened me because I know how close I am to winning, yet how close I am to losing this battle as well. I think all the pressure just built up. I have no idea where that came from or for that matter why I would even admit that I did it on this blog. I have fought hard battles before but none like this, and none with this much that just keeps coming against me. It is like seeing the finish line on the horizon but your body giving out before you get there.
My limbs and trunk have all scabbed over and many of the scabs are even healed from the chemo backfire. My throat jumped again today in healing and Monday looks better than before.
5AM
My tooth has hurt now for days and I even skipped and skimped eating trying to keep it from breaking off, at least until a dentist could be located. I still haven't slept. I got tired of hurting and worrying about it so I pulled and twisted it until it popped off. The pain isn't as of yet any stronger and maybe just a bit less. I'm still not sure if this tooth had a root canal done to it yet but if it hasn't, the nerve is covered from the air. It could have just been just putting pressure on my gum. Guess we'll see in the next few hours or days.
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