Funny, I thought when the treatment were over it would start to get better. I knew that the radiation effects would take place this week from last week and that my throat would be bad. I also knew that what damage has been done would not be undone overnight, I just didn't think it would continue to be this hard.
Charlie and me are going to UT tomorrow and get some more IV fluids, I'm hitting them up for a couple of bags, lol. They did say I could come when I needed to, so I will if Charlie can take me go there at least twice this week, maybe three times. I weighed tonight and my weight is 187 lbs. That is about what I weighed in High School over 30 years ago.
It's funny, the pain killers constipate and dehydrate me yet without them the soreness in my throat will not allow me to eat. I even tried Ensure and the Sodium content is like drinking fire. I've drank more Pedialite and that seems to help somewhat, just not enough. Go figure, lol. I can set up for a while but I'm still too weak to stay up for long periods. My goal tonight is to have enough strength to walk to the truck tomorrow and to walk into the Chemo Hut on my own power. While that may not sound like much right now it looks like a mountain. So that I could eat breakfast today I gave in for the first time since Friday and took 1/2 a dose of liquid Morphine and tonight I'm doing the same so I can eat. I've managed to get almost 2 eggs and most of a piece of sausage and part of 2 pieces of toast along with a few bites of Oatmeal (they get stuck in the holes in my throat), a pudding, and I guess that is all. I thought there was something else but I guess not. I am about to attempt a crescent roll, piece of hamburger meat with mushroom gravy and mashed potatoes. Think I got full just typing that in, lol.
I should have read more on the blogs, what few I found on this and asked more questions up front. While I am glad I have fought, if this were placed in front of me and they told me I would have to redo it, I'm not too sure that I could or even would. The only solstice I've had today was mom bringing me in a BPO to do that I asked her for. Usually I'd have them done in an hour or two, this took a few hours. It sure was fun to do something other than lay and set all day. Sometimes I wish I could amuse myself with TV but other than a few shows I can't. I have looked through a seed catalog even though I know I can't do my garden this year. I've almost got me an order up and if nothing else I'll freeze them and use them next year... or talk Denise and Megan into growing them, lol. Sometime during the summer I should be able to work in it and if nothing else watch it grow. Then again, I'll be home alone during the day and I can sneak out and play in it, lol.
Added:
I got about 1/4th of it eat and I am about to bust.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Saturday, January 23, 2010
My Mask
Megan took pictures of my Mask she posted on her blog. Remember that when this cast was molded that I was 231 lbs, now I am 190 lbs. And the way that you are positioned on the flat table with the head support that it is much tighter than this looks now.
http://lightnight99.blogspot.com/
Since these blogs change fast I'll post a few pictures up here. When you finish you have the option to keep your mask... I kept mine and I'm going to mount it on the wall. I think I've earned it.
http://lightnight99.blogspot.com/
Since these blogs change fast I'll post a few pictures up here. When you finish you have the option to keep your mask... I kept mine and I'm going to mount it on the wall. I think I've earned it.
Other Throat Radiation sites
Here are a few I ran across tonight.
http://www.fashion-era.com/Cancer_Diary.htm
http://www.webwhispers.org/Library/Radiation.asp
http://www.cancer-throat.com/
http://oralcancerfoundation.org/about/brianhill.htm
http://www.docstoc.com/docs/14211716/What-youre-facing-with-Squamous-Cell-Carcinoma
http://www.fashion-era.com/Cancer_Diary.htm
http://www.webwhispers.org/Library/Radiation.asp
http://www.cancer-throat.com/
http://oralcancerfoundation.org/about/brianhill.htm
http://www.docstoc.com/docs/14211716/What-youre-facing-with-Squamous-Cell-Carcinoma
Dehydration
Since my recent fall I guess I've slept enough or passed out enough for two people. Actually through this whole thing I've slept a lot. Tonight I couldn't sleep a lot so I read up a researched some of what was diagnosed that led to the last two days events as well as the last week or so. I found a lot of info out there but perhaps this page, even though there are a lot of dead links on it was the most informative written in layman's terms. This has helped me to understand what went wrong, or should I say, where I went wrong. Maybe it will help someone avoid what I done.
http://www.causeof.org/dehydrate.htm#PreventionChronic
This is why it is important to go in and get hydrated in the Chemo Hut a lot more frequently than I did. Notice the constipation is also mentioned as well as the losing consciousness, weakness, and dizziness.
http://www.causeof.org/dehydrate.htm#PreventionChronic
This is why it is important to go in and get hydrated in the Chemo Hut a lot more frequently than I did. Notice the constipation is also mentioned as well as the losing consciousness, weakness, and dizziness.
Friday, January 22, 2010
1-22-10 today's events
I spent last night in and out but building up strength. This morning Bill and Charlie came back here when it was time to leave and helped me get to Denise's car. On the way down after a few sips of water I would throw up (but uncontrollably), bile. I had to sip the water to keep my throat from cracking where it was so dry, so it was one of those catch 21 things. Charlie followed us down to UT. The parking lot was full so Denise dropped me off at the elevators and helped me to the bench. After she parked the car she went to Panella's and borrowed a wheelchair and came and got me. Ruth got her one extremely quick. I had always turned down a wheelchair, even when I was admitted so I guess that must have set off some alarms.
I had a tad more strength and balance but not enough to make it. They drew blood work but we never got the results, they were extremely busy in the Chemo Hut today. They took us back into a small room close to a bathroom that only had 2 chairs for patients and 2 for company. Ruth had already started an IV and was running fluid and some kind of medicine to settle my stomach. When it came time for the second bag of fluid they brought a needle in with some kind of new drug that started with an R that was a laxative type shot given sub-Q. In about 20 minutes I went to the bathroom. I noticed by the end of the 1st bag of fluid that my thick secretions had actually thinned and I began making saliva a little. By the second bag, I had real saliva.
Panella sent me to X-Ray and they shot a couple on my abdomen. It showed no blockage but still some poop way up high in my intestines. By tonight my saliva is thickening. The first time I went prepared to stay and offered no resistance to staying, but they sent me home. He wrote a script for some kind of laxative but also told me tonight to get some kind of liquid laxative to drink. It comes in Lemon flavor and after just two sips I was pretty much in tears from the pain. Shame though, it did work a little with just two sips. It must be acidic and anything acidic is not doable for a throat cancer patient who's throat is burnt up from radiation.
We're trying to figure out what to eat. It can't be too small or it gets stuck in the sores inside my throat. Too large and it can get stuck due to the swelling inside. Too stringy and it stands a chance of ending up choking from the compromised gag reflex. Needs to be easily digestible and soft. So far I've ate three puddings.
Here is a bit of information that we were told today that would have come in handy earlier. A bowel movement should be everyday when taking chemo, radiation, especially with all the meds. How much information have we been told AFTER the fact or from other patients. Not only would it be nice to be told up front but it might also be nice to be handed a sheet with a few facts and possibilities because when you are told you have cancer, will be taking chemo and/or radiation, you can not comprehend all that is hitting you at once. I think I read the average human retains about 25% of verbal information on the average. Now imagine the horror, fear, and shock and try and get a decent factor out of that. Even with at least two other people in there, the odds aren't good because more than likely the people accompanying the afflicted are emotionally attached. Little stuff like using lotions or mouth sprays to help the moisture in the mouth, not eating with metal after Taxotere, all this came from other patients. Why? OK, so maybe not everybody has this happen but as long as there is the possibility, and you hear it from many patients, why not pass along the information? Why not have a printed sheet so they can reflect back when the shock factor is lower? At the least they will be informed and if they escape these things they are better off, but I haven't spoken to even one that has escaped these things yet.
I had a tad more strength and balance but not enough to make it. They drew blood work but we never got the results, they were extremely busy in the Chemo Hut today. They took us back into a small room close to a bathroom that only had 2 chairs for patients and 2 for company. Ruth had already started an IV and was running fluid and some kind of medicine to settle my stomach. When it came time for the second bag of fluid they brought a needle in with some kind of new drug that started with an R that was a laxative type shot given sub-Q. In about 20 minutes I went to the bathroom. I noticed by the end of the 1st bag of fluid that my thick secretions had actually thinned and I began making saliva a little. By the second bag, I had real saliva.
Panella sent me to X-Ray and they shot a couple on my abdomen. It showed no blockage but still some poop way up high in my intestines. By tonight my saliva is thickening. The first time I went prepared to stay and offered no resistance to staying, but they sent me home. He wrote a script for some kind of laxative but also told me tonight to get some kind of liquid laxative to drink. It comes in Lemon flavor and after just two sips I was pretty much in tears from the pain. Shame though, it did work a little with just two sips. It must be acidic and anything acidic is not doable for a throat cancer patient who's throat is burnt up from radiation.
We're trying to figure out what to eat. It can't be too small or it gets stuck in the sores inside my throat. Too large and it can get stuck due to the swelling inside. Too stringy and it stands a chance of ending up choking from the compromised gag reflex. Needs to be easily digestible and soft. So far I've ate three puddings.
Here is a bit of information that we were told today that would have come in handy earlier. A bowel movement should be everyday when taking chemo, radiation, especially with all the meds. How much information have we been told AFTER the fact or from other patients. Not only would it be nice to be told up front but it might also be nice to be handed a sheet with a few facts and possibilities because when you are told you have cancer, will be taking chemo and/or radiation, you can not comprehend all that is hitting you at once. I think I read the average human retains about 25% of verbal information on the average. Now imagine the horror, fear, and shock and try and get a decent factor out of that. Even with at least two other people in there, the odds aren't good because more than likely the people accompanying the afflicted are emotionally attached. Little stuff like using lotions or mouth sprays to help the moisture in the mouth, not eating with metal after Taxotere, all this came from other patients. Why? OK, so maybe not everybody has this happen but as long as there is the possibility, and you hear it from many patients, why not pass along the information? Why not have a printed sheet so they can reflect back when the shock factor is lower? At the least they will be informed and if they escape these things they are better off, but I haven't spoken to even one that has escaped these things yet.
1-22-10
This has to be short as I've not enough strength to write.
My last radiation treatment was today and charlie and I were tickled. We were headed to Shoneys to eat when I suddenly felt the need to poop, I decided to wait until we got there. Shortly afterward I became dizzy and within minutes I had to vomit. Charlie pulled to the side of the road. We done this at least 4 times. I either lost consciousness or memory, the next thing I remember was pulling down my driveway.
I got out and headed for the fence to hold onto, Charlie went to the back and got my mask and certificate. As I entered the gate I thought I could make it to the Oak tree, then the back porch rails. I didn't. I made maybe 2 steps and fell over into the small rock garden. Charlie helped me up and pretty much carried me into the house. I made it to the couch and Charlie got me a waste basket and I continued to through up yellow and green looking liquid. That went on for hours. It was dry heaves until something that felt like it came from deep inside came out. Again I either lost consciousness or something on and off.
I asked Denise for 2 laxatives which causes me to throw up several times and it was greenish. Denise gave me two enemas later on which produced about 2 cups of poop, some blood tinged. We called Dr Panella which said I could either go to the ER or wait until my appointment tomorrow. I chose to wait. Dr Panella thinks that my blood pressure had dropped and not to take any more blood pressure medicine until we see him. We've checked my blood pressure several times and it runs about 139/89.
It's now 5am and I managed to walk to the bathroom by myself for the first time. I decided to write this entry before laying back down. This is the first time I've been able to sit up in almost 24 hours. My throat is killing me but I'm afraid to take any pain meds. Charlie is coming back here this morning to help me to the car, between him and Denise I should be able to get to the car.
My last radiation treatment was today and charlie and I were tickled. We were headed to Shoneys to eat when I suddenly felt the need to poop, I decided to wait until we got there. Shortly afterward I became dizzy and within minutes I had to vomit. Charlie pulled to the side of the road. We done this at least 4 times. I either lost consciousness or memory, the next thing I remember was pulling down my driveway.
I got out and headed for the fence to hold onto, Charlie went to the back and got my mask and certificate. As I entered the gate I thought I could make it to the Oak tree, then the back porch rails. I didn't. I made maybe 2 steps and fell over into the small rock garden. Charlie helped me up and pretty much carried me into the house. I made it to the couch and Charlie got me a waste basket and I continued to through up yellow and green looking liquid. That went on for hours. It was dry heaves until something that felt like it came from deep inside came out. Again I either lost consciousness or something on and off.
I asked Denise for 2 laxatives which causes me to throw up several times and it was greenish. Denise gave me two enemas later on which produced about 2 cups of poop, some blood tinged. We called Dr Panella which said I could either go to the ER or wait until my appointment tomorrow. I chose to wait. Dr Panella thinks that my blood pressure had dropped and not to take any more blood pressure medicine until we see him. We've checked my blood pressure several times and it runs about 139/89.
It's now 5am and I managed to walk to the bathroom by myself for the first time. I decided to write this entry before laying back down. This is the first time I've been able to sit up in almost 24 hours. My throat is killing me but I'm afraid to take any pain meds. Charlie is coming back here this morning to help me to the car, between him and Denise I should be able to get to the car.
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