Today has been a bit different. While the new added BP pill has kept it down, it feels like it has kept me down too. 113/75. Denise said I will get use to it and that I had gotten use to the higher BP. The cold is still hanging on and towards the nighttime the neuropathy kicks in high gear. I did sleep well last night. My throat is the same as it was, maybe worse at times for soreness and and dryness. I don't much believe that the swelling is going down. Some nights I can eat good then other nights I get choked.
Tomorrow I feed the cows so that means freeze mu butt off again.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
12-07-2010
Well the steroids seem to be working... I'm getting fatter, lol. They do seem to be working on the swelling on my throat though. In the process of this my blood pressure went sky high. After it hit 194/104 (8), Rama decided I need another pill. This one normaled me out.
Monday, December 6, 2010
12-6-2010
Still have a bad cold but I think maybe it is beginning to turn since the Levaquin was started. I slept again on Sunday on and off all day. I suppose that I should be thankful that my throat was better enough to have a sore throat and know I have one. Still on Prednisone and it helps with the swelling inside but seems to not stay for long. Still, I awake sometimes from my throat closing off. It's a weird feeling yet one that I have grown use to over time. Funny what one can get use to. Blood work last week shows that my Thyroid is not functioning but my T3 & T4 levels still aren't off enough to start the medication Dr Beth says.
While I hate to admit it, the chemo brain or fog, whichever tern it is, is still bad. Maybe a little better because I realize just how bad lately. I've learned to just slow down and when I forget what I am doing somewhere to stall and hope it comes back to me. I have forgotten so much. Ever since the heart attack my short term memory has been off but now long and short term are compromised. It doesn't seem though to be any getting better. It gets embarrassing sometimes, most times.
Maybe it's the medication but twice now I have awoke to some pretty horrific dreams, and some weird dreams too. Daddy is in most of them and we are acting crazy like we use to yet I know in the dream he is gone. Tonight we played making faces at each other and smiling through a crowd. He was my only comfort from the crowd I had gotten myself into. In the dream I catch myself playing this silly game of leaning back and forth, making a face and smiling at each other like we did when we were out in a crowd and got separated, then I realized that I was the only one who could see him and had better stop before people thought I was nuts. Or the one where we talk at mom's and he tells me how to build a thing to stack my firewood on, and we're talking exact detail. We argued as he always overbuilt everything and I always cut corners, not a heated argument though. I spent some time and seeing how he only had a little time left to stay I told him I was going home so he and mom could have some alone time. I built it like he said to build it in the dream. The thing is holding more firewood that my design could have ever held, looks pretty good, and will probably out last me. I won't go over the third one in which there was no comfort. I have only been able to remember three so far. Strange, because I usually never dream or at least don't remember dreaming.
So here I set at 6am and will try and go back to bed. Another day.
While I hate to admit it, the chemo brain or fog, whichever tern it is, is still bad. Maybe a little better because I realize just how bad lately. I've learned to just slow down and when I forget what I am doing somewhere to stall and hope it comes back to me. I have forgotten so much. Ever since the heart attack my short term memory has been off but now long and short term are compromised. It doesn't seem though to be any getting better. It gets embarrassing sometimes, most times.
Maybe it's the medication but twice now I have awoke to some pretty horrific dreams, and some weird dreams too. Daddy is in most of them and we are acting crazy like we use to yet I know in the dream he is gone. Tonight we played making faces at each other and smiling through a crowd. He was my only comfort from the crowd I had gotten myself into. In the dream I catch myself playing this silly game of leaning back and forth, making a face and smiling at each other like we did when we were out in a crowd and got separated, then I realized that I was the only one who could see him and had better stop before people thought I was nuts. Or the one where we talk at mom's and he tells me how to build a thing to stack my firewood on, and we're talking exact detail. We argued as he always overbuilt everything and I always cut corners, not a heated argument though. I spent some time and seeing how he only had a little time left to stay I told him I was going home so he and mom could have some alone time. I built it like he said to build it in the dream. The thing is holding more firewood that my design could have ever held, looks pretty good, and will probably out last me. I won't go over the third one in which there was no comfort. I have only been able to remember three so far. Strange, because I usually never dream or at least don't remember dreaming.
So here I set at 6am and will try and go back to bed. Another day.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
12-07-2010
Bad cold today. It has swelled my throat inside and outside, it is also sore, headache. The neuropathy hs been a booger. I'm sucking fumes today. My blood work came back abnormal for the thyroid gland. Beth says to wait but Denise moves forward.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
11-28-2010
I was messing around and went to the Biography Channel and found myself on a preview of the coming Beyond & Back. The link is here. http://www.biography.com/video.do?name=isurvivedbeyondandback
Denise still thinks I have pneumonia. I spent today mostly laying around, think yesterday was a bit much. Hopefully will be back on my game tomorrow. I done the Nette pot with Baby Shampoo and the mixture that you normally use like Dr Rathfoot said to do. Man I was doing so good there for a while, got a lot of stuff done. Tomorrow though is another day and things can change overnight, so I'll be positive and say that I can finish the leaves here, in mom's yard, and Marks'.
Denise still thinks I have pneumonia. I spent today mostly laying around, think yesterday was a bit much. Hopefully will be back on my game tomorrow. I done the Nette pot with Baby Shampoo and the mixture that you normally use like Dr Rathfoot said to do. Man I was doing so good there for a while, got a lot of stuff done. Tomorrow though is another day and things can change overnight, so I'll be positive and say that I can finish the leaves here, in mom's yard, and Marks'.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
11-23-2010
Well I finally achieved the goal of losing my voice, lol. Today me and Mark went on the hill, Mark was sawing me out a post from a Cedar Tree blown and broken. With the last few days my coordination is somewhat lacking as people seem to be noticing the gashes in my arms and knuckles. I swear my skin is like paper anymore and my blood thin as water. It just seemed smart to get Mark to run a chainsaw. Red Devil, dad's last animal left alive was just dead, still warm to the touch. I went home and got the tractor to bury her and about 1/2 way through the digging the storm came. By the time I got home even my underwear was soaked, probably TMI there, lol. That was one cold, wet rain. So here I am tonight, voiceless... I think Denise enjoys the quiet, lol.
For that last week or two it seems like I'm getting back to the extreme fatigue. It is almost like Narcalism. Then it again it may be just like it, I have never read about it. Either way though, I get a few warnings then I'm gone but never for too long usually. I don't feel bad these day but not good either. Swallowing has decreased somewhat over the last month or so too.
This video I found today while I was drying out is for those in the family that went ahead. this is the first Thanksgiving without dad.
For that last week or two it seems like I'm getting back to the extreme fatigue. It is almost like Narcalism. Then it again it may be just like it, I have never read about it. Either way though, I get a few warnings then I'm gone but never for too long usually. I don't feel bad these day but not good either. Swallowing has decreased somewhat over the last month or so too.
This video I found today while I was drying out is for those in the family that went ahead. this is the first Thanksgiving without dad.
Monday, November 22, 2010
11-22-2010
Another day. One should think I'm use to it by now... but I'm not. I have been having even more memory and hearing problems. They say it is the chemo. I paid Mark to saw my trees, looks like I do enough damage with the hammer, lol. The neuropathy is as it was, no better no worse.
I pushed myself 2 or 3 days in a round, 1 in particular. It is funny how today I just couldn't get nothing right and the few times I did, I forgot what I done with it, lol. There is this severe fatigue that comes over me that has came back. It always gives me a warning of about 3-5 times... then I am out. Truth be told after the second one I have little memory of this between it and the final one.
Today I was worn out and when Denise woke me up for my pills I crashed. I woke up the 2nd time and I was sick as a dawg. I ran to Hardees for a biscuit and after a long while went back ok. All but my throat still rare from the acid reflux.
I pushed myself 2 or 3 days in a round, 1 in particular. It is funny how today I just couldn't get nothing right and the few times I did, I forgot what I done with it, lol. There is this severe fatigue that comes over me that has came back. It always gives me a warning of about 3-5 times... then I am out. Truth be told after the second one I have little memory of this between it and the final one.
Today I was worn out and when Denise woke me up for my pills I crashed. I woke up the 2nd time and I was sick as a dawg. I ran to Hardees for a biscuit and after a long while went back ok. All but my throat still rare from the acid reflux.
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