Busy day today. Me and mom went back again today to finish what we started yesterday with the proper supplies. She drove all the way. We came back and I went to Allen Surrette Hardware and bought Denise 2 pieces of old Corning glass cook wear, the one that was missing was the one she wanted. Went to the office for something... don't remember, lol. I got on the computer and work some more on it, changing the report from a long time ago.
Patty came in with her daughter who I didn't recognize. She was tall and I guess I thought she should still be little.It was good to see here again.
Spoke with the lady from National Geographic about setting up an interview next week. Hopefully by then I'll have some decent hair.lol.
The medicine for the neuropathy is failing slowly, I'm not sure why, even though the dose has doubled.
Watched American Idol, took a bath (cooler one, lol) then got on the computer. I thought I'd be smart and put some of the cream from the Amish store on where I burnt my legs and feet... wrong more. I tried blowing them, washing off the stuff and finally went for a pain pill. Here it is 45 minutes later and it has backed off. Now maybe I can get some sleep. Pretty pathetic, eh? It's going on 3am.
.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
03-02-2010
Been a long day. Me and mom went to do BPO in Knoxville. I busted my butt going around back but I'm using snow as the excuse, lol. Not to be outdone by my own ignorance, later tonight I ran a hot tub of water. There is a moral in this story, never test your temperature of your water with neuropathy, lol. I scalded my feet, especially the left one which doesn't hurt, it's the rest of the leg that does, lol. Not my day for bright moves, lol.
The dose of medicine for the neuropathy has now increased from 200mg to 400 mg two times per day... it has not stopped all the pain. My balance, despite a brief embarrassing moment, is decent though.
I have some teeth that are either acting up or as I come off the patch, I'm feeling them.
The dose of medicine for the neuropathy has now increased from 200mg to 400 mg two times per day... it has not stopped all the pain. My balance, despite a brief embarrassing moment, is decent though.
I have some teeth that are either acting up or as I come off the patch, I'm feeling them.
Monday, March 1, 2010
03-01-2010
Charlie invited me to go to Yoder's Market to get some food this morning. Most of what they have is good Amish products. After that we went to Office Max where I bought my chair for the computer. I've stalked this chair waiting for the sale price. We went to Western Auto and Sears and the to Auto Zone. I got some stuff I needed, plus some I wanted.
I ended up talking a nap, lol, something I have never done until now. I got some mints and forgot until today just how careful to be. I couldn't get the wrapper so I took my knife and cut it along with my finger pretty deep. Lucky for me...no pain. I didn't even realize I had cut it until I saw all the blood. I guess Neuropathy has its benefits and drawbacks, lol.
I actually had to push the box up the sidewalk and steps, through the house. At one time, I could have carried this and more in one hand. Now that is kind of depressing. I have soooo far to go for strength. But I got it done. So I'm typing from my new chair tonight. I managed to semi water the plants in the Sunroom, the Banana Plants have had it rough and I actually lost one, my first loss. The Lemon Tree is also a bit for wear as well as the Palm Trees.
Tonight, despite the medicine for the Neuropathy, my feet are hurting. I'm not sure I understand this yet. Extremely painful. I would take a pain pill but they have no effect on the pain, so it is useless to take them. It is unusually heavy tonight and my fingers don't want to type.
Tomorrow I will try for my longest solo drive, provided the weather complies. I need to begin to push myself...if that is possible.
I spoke with a friend who has suffered this for a long time from Neuropathy. God bless her, she is always optimistic. She is such a great lady who has had way more than most, but remains so pleasant, helpful, and kind. She is one of the strongest people I have even known and one of the nicest. I am so fortunate to have her as a friend, one of my best friends, Sally. We share the same Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma except she has had it longer and fought it harder than I have.
Well, It's bedtime if my feet back off.
I ended up talking a nap, lol, something I have never done until now. I got some mints and forgot until today just how careful to be. I couldn't get the wrapper so I took my knife and cut it along with my finger pretty deep. Lucky for me...no pain. I didn't even realize I had cut it until I saw all the blood. I guess Neuropathy has its benefits and drawbacks, lol.
I actually had to push the box up the sidewalk and steps, through the house. At one time, I could have carried this and more in one hand. Now that is kind of depressing. I have soooo far to go for strength. But I got it done. So I'm typing from my new chair tonight. I managed to semi water the plants in the Sunroom, the Banana Plants have had it rough and I actually lost one, my first loss. The Lemon Tree is also a bit for wear as well as the Palm Trees.
Tonight, despite the medicine for the Neuropathy, my feet are hurting. I'm not sure I understand this yet. Extremely painful. I would take a pain pill but they have no effect on the pain, so it is useless to take them. It is unusually heavy tonight and my fingers don't want to type.
Tomorrow I will try for my longest solo drive, provided the weather complies. I need to begin to push myself...if that is possible.
I spoke with a friend who has suffered this for a long time from Neuropathy. God bless her, she is always optimistic. She is such a great lady who has had way more than most, but remains so pleasant, helpful, and kind. She is one of the strongest people I have even known and one of the nicest. I am so fortunate to have her as a friend, one of my best friends, Sally. We share the same Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma except she has had it longer and fought it harder than I have.
Well, It's bedtime if my feet back off.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
02-28-2010
I've been lazy today, got up at 10:30am and went right back out until 1pm. I'm still sleepy, lol. Foot pain returned in the right foot for a little while. After a while the meds kicked in and took some of that out. The medicine for Neuropathy does help with the pain and while I am at a low level building up, I may decide not to build up. If anything, it does increase the numbness and brings about a loss of balance. This appears to be more of a pick which one you consider the lesser of two evils. I have to weigh it out. I am starting at 200mg 2 times per day and soon going to 600mg two times a day. I'm not sure if the 600 will bring about more loss of balance of if it will remain at the current levels. It also doesn't help the ankle picking up the foot. It also doesn't effect the numbness that comes and goes on the left side of my head or my hands.
So far the drop from 50 to 25mg patch has produced a little DT effects until today. When the DT signs stay for a while I supplement with a pill. I would imagine that Kim is 100% correct as usual, when I stop the 25 mg patch I will have to work my way back down with pills just like I went up. It's like my body has become use to this stuff.
The neck pain is pretty much gone with the magnetic necklace. I'm not sure it will work but I am going to try some ankle bracelets to see if that will work. I'm not sure since it's neurological rather than arthritis but it is worth a shot.
I seem to stay extremely fatigued and when I do feel like exertion it is short lived. When I push it, and I believe that is the way you come back online, I pay for it the next day.
Denise says I have hair growing back on my ears and this time I'm not going to fuss after being aerodynamic for so long, lol.
So far the drop from 50 to 25mg patch has produced a little DT effects until today. When the DT signs stay for a while I supplement with a pill. I would imagine that Kim is 100% correct as usual, when I stop the 25 mg patch I will have to work my way back down with pills just like I went up. It's like my body has become use to this stuff.
The neck pain is pretty much gone with the magnetic necklace. I'm not sure it will work but I am going to try some ankle bracelets to see if that will work. I'm not sure since it's neurological rather than arthritis but it is worth a shot.
I seem to stay extremely fatigued and when I do feel like exertion it is short lived. When I push it, and I believe that is the way you come back online, I pay for it the next day.
Denise says I have hair growing back on my ears and this time I'm not going to fuss after being aerodynamic for so long, lol.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
02-27-2010 evening
Been a lazy day again.We ran to Newport Walmart and Newport Bargain store where I discovered than using the buggy I am more able to walk normal. I did walk like a Penguin now I walk like a Duck, lol. While the medicine for the neuropathy does nothing for the numbness, maybe even increase it, it does cease most of the pain. I can walk without as much pain and sleep without pain but knowing where I step and when my foot is down solid takes a bit more effort. My hands are the same way. It hasn't helped my ankles to pick up my foot which makes me walk a little abnormal.
For the first time I was able to eat at least about ten bites without liquid. One of my goals is going back to eating without drinking. Long story on the benefits of doing that. I've also tried to swallow without drinking or eating, not easily done but I'm working on it. Panella had said it takes 26 muscles that have to work together and that I would need to relearn how to make them work together.
I attempted a Dr Pepper again today. I can drink soft drinks with minimal pain now but I can't stand the taste of Dr Pepper anymore. That is something I thought would never happen, lol. As a preference I'm sticking with Tea, Water, Vitamin Water, and SoBe.
I did find this interesting, a series from Dr Mercola on a new treatment in Germany for cancer that is proved to work without harsh drugs. They also go into other diseases. It is a video that is a 7 part series. I'm not sure if you can view without signing up but I have been signed up for years and have never had any unsolicited email or spam so it is safe.
CLICK HERE To Watch
For the first time I was able to eat at least about ten bites without liquid. One of my goals is going back to eating without drinking. Long story on the benefits of doing that. I've also tried to swallow without drinking or eating, not easily done but I'm working on it. Panella had said it takes 26 muscles that have to work together and that I would need to relearn how to make them work together.
I attempted a Dr Pepper again today. I can drink soft drinks with minimal pain now but I can't stand the taste of Dr Pepper anymore. That is something I thought would never happen, lol. As a preference I'm sticking with Tea, Water, Vitamin Water, and SoBe.
I did find this interesting, a series from Dr Mercola on a new treatment in Germany for cancer that is proved to work without harsh drugs. They also go into other diseases. It is a video that is a 7 part series. I'm not sure if you can view without signing up but I have been signed up for years and have never had any unsolicited email or spam so it is safe.
CLICK HERE To Watch
02-27-2010 - Morning
I woke up last night three times. Once in a cold sweat soaking wet and twice with calf muscle craps that was excruciating. They were all with the first few hours and the last one I took a half of Endocet 10mg to ease off the pain. It seemed to work and I went back to sleep. When I woke up this morning my calf muscles feel like I have run a marathon. Extremely sore.
My knees ached but with coming moisture that is pretty common as is the shoulder usually and neck. Over the years I have learned to handle that and simply take Ibuprofen or Tylenol Arthritis. My neck was spared last night the stiffness and pain probably due to the magnetic necklace that Denise procured with the help of a co-worker and friend. I took mine off after the first chemo and we couldn't find it again, it seemed to conflict with the chemo.
I took my handful of pills that has become regular but soon I hope will end and now I'm off to eat something before they make me sick. I did wake up rested though so the REM sleep must have been good.
Time for a little humor.This parody was written over five years ago and is now one of the most watched at YouTube. Thanks to the friend that passed this along.
My knees ached but with coming moisture that is pretty common as is the shoulder usually and neck. Over the years I have learned to handle that and simply take Ibuprofen or Tylenol Arthritis. My neck was spared last night the stiffness and pain probably due to the magnetic necklace that Denise procured with the help of a co-worker and friend. I took mine off after the first chemo and we couldn't find it again, it seemed to conflict with the chemo.
I took my handful of pills that has become regular but soon I hope will end and now I'm off to eat something before they make me sick. I did wake up rested though so the REM sleep must have been good.
Time for a little humor.This parody was written over five years ago and is now one of the most watched at YouTube. Thanks to the friend that passed this along.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Thinking Out Loud - rambling
The waiting room was full today. I read somewhere last year the odds of getting cancer are now one in one and went on to say that if you live long enough you will have some type or form of cancer. I have two types. Denise told me of a man that had the exact same kind as I have in in the same location as I have only a little larger tumor than I had and an age difference of about 10 years. Its funny, but when people know that someone close has cancer they seek out and find someone else. I asked her last night how the man was, if she had heard anything. Whoever told her had said he died before the treatments started. The man was to do the same treatment and they put a feeding tube in. Before they could start his treatment though, he died. She didn't tell me while I was doing treatments because of the harshness of what I had to take. I thought, here I am griping about the side effects yet this man never got the chance to grip about them. A very humbling experience.
I don't know why God allows this or how He chooses who to bring home and who leave here. I have no idea at all. I know it has changed me and I think those close to me, I hope for the better. I have always said that I would love to make a difference in the world even if it costs my life. Those words are shallow when the storm comes, easier said than done. As an old Indian Chief once said, "Its easy to be brave from a distance", and so it is. We enter into this life knowing that it is only temporary at best. Sometimes people cloud our vision and make us think that this life is all there is and is the most important thing. We catch phrases like "Just Do It", "Go ahead, You deserve it", and Why me. Mostly though we hear this from cruel corporations just trying to make a sale. Hitler once said that through repetition people can be made to believe anything and that if you lie big enough and long enough people will believe it. Now that is not his exact words but it is what he said and in effect what is taught through media and even now the schools. This was so important to the ones that rule that in 1959 (I believe, but check for yourself), six million dollars was spent to erase the old religions out of the science books and replaced by a new religion, evolution. I call evolution a religion because nobody has ever actually seen it take place nor is there evidence to support it. School books have many, many errors that they say they can't fix because it would cost to much to amend it. Yet back then, they spent a fortune?
This life was never promised to be easy and God knows I pray I don't get what I deserve because I'm just thinking that it will not be anything that can be bought or that is good. As long as we are suckered into believing that life is here and now and that this is all there is, we are at a loss. We judge how good we are by looking at other people, then grade on a curb scale to see where we are using the curb to gain position, but in who's eyes.I tell my children that when we have to compare ourselves to another human, we have already lost. When we have to break down someone else to feel superior we are actually inferior. Bullies are usually nothing more than scared cowards that have a low self esteem. It is so easy to point at someone who has fallen, the real test is can you help them back up.
The Cherokee said that the day is not guaranteed but granted and one day we will have to account for how we spent the time God allowed us here on earth. Again, not verbatim but the essence of what was told. I can see how younger people today are mislead by the science books which teach evolution, that man was a mistake. Given that being taught it is no wonder so many people are astray. They have no purpose and therefore what they do within reason doesn't matter. As a Christian I sometimes take a slap from those "more learned" than I yet I ask one simple question. If believing is so stupid and not believing is so smart...is the world a better place than it was? Are people better than they were? I think anybody with any rationality would say no, we are not better off than we were. We have more conveniences than they did before but we have become dependent and should these conveniences be suddenly taken away, we would probably not live too long. Jesus teaches that we are not mistakes but purposely created by God and that what we do does matter. So those of us that grew up in a time of correct teaching should know better. True that we answer to God who never changes but remains the same but unbelievers answer to the world run by men that change more than the weather.
So why does God allow suffering? I have no idea but what I do know is that I have yet to see nothing good come out of something bad, there is always something good even in the worse situation. There is a small elite group that you are indoctrinated to with a life ending or life changing disease. Those of us with cancer for instance speak more openly to those who share our disease than even the closest family. Those of us who have had a heart attack speak more frankly with others who have had a heart attack. These are clubs that most, including myself, would not have willing joined. Occasionally there are those that have big mouths and openly share with the nonmembers, knowing that they can not explain what they are going through, but are willing to try. Most of us know that this life isn't forever and what comes next is worth whatever price.
Sometimes I think we have been brainwashed to think that we ourselves are the most important thing, and I include myself in this group. I have endured some pretty bad things in my life but I never endure them alone. Its sad to think that some walk alone when they don't have to, God is always there, all you have to do is open the lines of communication. I had a doctor once that I said, "Thank God" when I received the good news that they could and have fixed and his response was, "I think the doctors had a hand in it." I smiled and looked at him and said, "True...but there are many doctors that do this but God led me to you who He granted the knowledge to help me." I got the strangest look, he pondered for a moment and replied, "I hadn't thought of it that way." That was a long time ago but I'm told the doctor definitely looked at life differently. It could have been the purpose I was created for or it could have been that God used a bad thing to make a good thing. Either way, does it really matter in the grand scheme.
Our children spend more waking hours in the schools than with their parents. It makes it hard to compete and then add TV and we have lost even more ground. Yes, we are guilty of that too. For those who have broken the TV addiction they have Internet, something that is my Achilles Heal. In India for instance they wanted to lower the birth rate. This is going on now. They looked at how China handled the problem and it wasn't acceptable. The world might revolt against them. So they went with TV to occupy their time, they knew that would distract people. TV is so important that try and spell TV without capitol letters and an error showing that it is to be capitalized appears.
I believe that it is important to fight back to live. Equally important is having faith that you are not battling alone. That God is not only there but He has surround you with family and friends, and that should you falter and lose the battle you still win the war. Just as He doesn't give up, neither should we. This physical life is just that... life. Living can come later when this physical battle ends, but that is not our choice to make. What we chose to do with our time that is granted however is, and we will account for that one day. Lets just hope that God judges us less harshly than we do our fellow person. In the end that is all we have and all we are. Our deeds and faith.
Ramble over....
I don't know why God allows this or how He chooses who to bring home and who leave here. I have no idea at all. I know it has changed me and I think those close to me, I hope for the better. I have always said that I would love to make a difference in the world even if it costs my life. Those words are shallow when the storm comes, easier said than done. As an old Indian Chief once said, "Its easy to be brave from a distance", and so it is. We enter into this life knowing that it is only temporary at best. Sometimes people cloud our vision and make us think that this life is all there is and is the most important thing. We catch phrases like "Just Do It", "Go ahead, You deserve it", and Why me. Mostly though we hear this from cruel corporations just trying to make a sale. Hitler once said that through repetition people can be made to believe anything and that if you lie big enough and long enough people will believe it. Now that is not his exact words but it is what he said and in effect what is taught through media and even now the schools. This was so important to the ones that rule that in 1959 (I believe, but check for yourself), six million dollars was spent to erase the old religions out of the science books and replaced by a new religion, evolution. I call evolution a religion because nobody has ever actually seen it take place nor is there evidence to support it. School books have many, many errors that they say they can't fix because it would cost to much to amend it. Yet back then, they spent a fortune?
This life was never promised to be easy and God knows I pray I don't get what I deserve because I'm just thinking that it will not be anything that can be bought or that is good. As long as we are suckered into believing that life is here and now and that this is all there is, we are at a loss. We judge how good we are by looking at other people, then grade on a curb scale to see where we are using the curb to gain position, but in who's eyes.I tell my children that when we have to compare ourselves to another human, we have already lost. When we have to break down someone else to feel superior we are actually inferior. Bullies are usually nothing more than scared cowards that have a low self esteem. It is so easy to point at someone who has fallen, the real test is can you help them back up.
The Cherokee said that the day is not guaranteed but granted and one day we will have to account for how we spent the time God allowed us here on earth. Again, not verbatim but the essence of what was told. I can see how younger people today are mislead by the science books which teach evolution, that man was a mistake. Given that being taught it is no wonder so many people are astray. They have no purpose and therefore what they do within reason doesn't matter. As a Christian I sometimes take a slap from those "more learned" than I yet I ask one simple question. If believing is so stupid and not believing is so smart...is the world a better place than it was? Are people better than they were? I think anybody with any rationality would say no, we are not better off than we were. We have more conveniences than they did before but we have become dependent and should these conveniences be suddenly taken away, we would probably not live too long. Jesus teaches that we are not mistakes but purposely created by God and that what we do does matter. So those of us that grew up in a time of correct teaching should know better. True that we answer to God who never changes but remains the same but unbelievers answer to the world run by men that change more than the weather.
So why does God allow suffering? I have no idea but what I do know is that I have yet to see nothing good come out of something bad, there is always something good even in the worse situation. There is a small elite group that you are indoctrinated to with a life ending or life changing disease. Those of us with cancer for instance speak more openly to those who share our disease than even the closest family. Those of us who have had a heart attack speak more frankly with others who have had a heart attack. These are clubs that most, including myself, would not have willing joined. Occasionally there are those that have big mouths and openly share with the nonmembers, knowing that they can not explain what they are going through, but are willing to try. Most of us know that this life isn't forever and what comes next is worth whatever price.
Sometimes I think we have been brainwashed to think that we ourselves are the most important thing, and I include myself in this group. I have endured some pretty bad things in my life but I never endure them alone. Its sad to think that some walk alone when they don't have to, God is always there, all you have to do is open the lines of communication. I had a doctor once that I said, "Thank God" when I received the good news that they could and have fixed and his response was, "I think the doctors had a hand in it." I smiled and looked at him and said, "True...but there are many doctors that do this but God led me to you who He granted the knowledge to help me." I got the strangest look, he pondered for a moment and replied, "I hadn't thought of it that way." That was a long time ago but I'm told the doctor definitely looked at life differently. It could have been the purpose I was created for or it could have been that God used a bad thing to make a good thing. Either way, does it really matter in the grand scheme.
Our children spend more waking hours in the schools than with their parents. It makes it hard to compete and then add TV and we have lost even more ground. Yes, we are guilty of that too. For those who have broken the TV addiction they have Internet, something that is my Achilles Heal. In India for instance they wanted to lower the birth rate. This is going on now. They looked at how China handled the problem and it wasn't acceptable. The world might revolt against them. So they went with TV to occupy their time, they knew that would distract people. TV is so important that try and spell TV without capitol letters and an error showing that it is to be capitalized appears.
I believe that it is important to fight back to live. Equally important is having faith that you are not battling alone. That God is not only there but He has surround you with family and friends, and that should you falter and lose the battle you still win the war. Just as He doesn't give up, neither should we. This physical life is just that... life. Living can come later when this physical battle ends, but that is not our choice to make. What we chose to do with our time that is granted however is, and we will account for that one day. Lets just hope that God judges us less harshly than we do our fellow person. In the end that is all we have and all we are. Our deeds and faith.
Ramble over....
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