I woke up still sick but Denise brought out a good observation yesterday. perhaps it was the extra stomach pill that rathfoot prescribed, so we dropped it. I again took laxatives and today things slowly started working again, but my stomach is still raging. I've remained awake today but very, very weak, so I've decided not to do HBOT tomorrow just in case. My neuropathy hasn't eased even without me on my feet as much.
Mom fixed supper as usual on Father's Day but it was a sad and hollow feast. Mom cooked well as usual but without dad there it was both strange and sad. Who would have ever thought that last year would have been the last time? The up side was the cards I received from mom, Denise, Misty, and Megan. I really didn't expect one from Annie so that isn't a big deal.
I had a lot of time to think. To reflect back and really deep think about how blessed I've been. I collect things, always have and I form habits very easily. That is one reason I quit drinking when I was a teenager, plus BB didn't drink and he was kid of like the elder of our gang. Dad didn't drink but my real dad did, he quit though before he died. I really don't know of anything dad collected which always made gift buying hard. He seldom if even asked for or wanted anything but was pleased with just a card or whatever you got him. Instead he collected only a few things as I reflect back, things I have often overlooked. He collected and distributed love, kindness, compassion, and gentleness... as well as his skills to everybody he knew. When I was a kid I gripped about working with him on building, plumbing, and all sorts of things, due in part because he was a perfectionist. It was later, much later, that I realize how vital this information is.
Here is a man that went through Hell in WW2 as a medic, something I would come to admire later on in life. My strongest memories were of us giving out shoes to children at schools that couldn't afford them. He would let me take a day or two off school to go with him. I'm not even sure if Masons do that these days. He gave of all that asked, being even mindful that his family had first. I'm not sure if he even counted himself in the picture. Truly the world has suffered a great loss and Heaven a great gain.
I did watch the news, if it can be called that, lol. Dad, in his last years, watched it then came to me to ask about it. I tried to tell me that TV is for entertainment not knowledge, then preceded to tell the whole story. I studied that crap for over 5 years day and night. Now I look occasionally for my own sake, people are willingly ignorant and I have come to the realization that there is nothing can be done to change that. I was willingly ignorant for most of my life. Without that... nothing will get better, only worse. I do occasionally tell friends that ask. I usually go to http://www.blacklistednews.com and mull over what I want to know. Not once today did ABC tell that 2 days after the BP spill that they knew it would be in excess of 100,000 barrels of oil. Nor did they say that Goldman Sachs owned 44% of BP and sold they stock 1 week prior to the spill. Or that Haliberton invested in equipment to clean up an oil spill. Or that the CEO sold most of his stock 1 week prior to the spill. Maybe they all had a good fortune teller, lol. I also quit the Discovery Chanel for the same reason. The History Chanel is trying to finally be 1/2 way honest though.
Going back though. I don't remember who it was, Daddy or Annie that said that men here are dads, we all have the same father which is in Heaven. Maybe it was Papa. To this dad I call nobody father except God and do not allow my kids to call me father.
That has been my day, and with this I will place a video to all who are without their dads today.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Saturday, June 19, 2010
06-19-2010
I haven't been awake much today other than when Josh, Brandon, and Alex came back here. The only time I even went out was when Josh was telling me about his Cucumber plant, wanted to show it to me, then wanted to know if we could plant it. It was definitely a precious moment. We planted it by the tomato plants in the garden with the green beans. He says he is coming back here everyday to tend it. I hope and pray it does well.
I've remained quiet and mostly asleep other than that. A lot of pain associated with this and fatigue. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.
I've remained quiet and mostly asleep other than that. A lot of pain associated with this and fatigue. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.
Friday, June 18, 2010
06-18-2010
After a long night of waking up periodically with an upset stomach, tasting the watermelon over and over again, my throat was in rare form. I had a hard time taking the medications from the swelling and extreme pain. I couldn't get the Loratab down so I went once again for the liquid Morphine at about 12mgs. Me and Charlie stopped in at Hardees as usual and I ate the jelly biscuit... as usual. I fell asleep part of the way down to HBOT, man was I ever tired.
Once we started the dive my stomach started to roll, but it seemed manageable. Not quite to the half way mark I had a problem so I asked Chad for a drink and to give me a couple of minutes without the hood. Now you would really really see how this therapy works and how they do it. There are cameras and microphones in the unit and one EMT person is inside with us, this time it was Chad, and outside the chamber the doctor and another EMT person is watching. Shortly after the break that Chad gave me I felt nauseous and I motioned for him to come over to me. I told him I was going to throw up and asked I there was something to do it in. Chad took off my hood and went to the back of the chamber to get it. I thought that it may be explosive at worse, sickening to the others at best so we went to the back of the chamber to set. We talked for a moment and then I felt it coming. Now after months of throwing up from chemo, I'm pretty good at controlling it within reason. Practice makes perfect, lol.
Chad talked over the inside phone and filled Gary and Dr Downing in and Dr Downing went into a small decompression chamber between the observation/control center and the chamber. He pressurized quickly. Meanwhile Chad was going vital signs all of which were good, but they are that thorough. Downing was waiting in the decompression chamber for me and also check me as we decompressed, asking lots of questions like Chad did. After we decompressed and went into the observation/control room Gary also asked a lot of questions. Did I mention that all vitals are taken and questions asked even before each session? Sherry was also in the room as well. I am told that she is the one who pulls it all together. I told you I'd put you in here Sherry, lol. The only one not there today was John. All of the people there at HBOT are great and really care. I've had heart caths that aren't monitored as well, I'm not saying the heart caths weren't monitored well, they were. The whole staff at HBOT is exactly where God wants them to be. They operate as a complete team and as a family. My sessions had ended for the day which was embarrassing and sad but then again, the best thing to do given the circumstances. I restart next week. I went a bit farther into detail on this because I want people to know just how much goes into this. It is a complicated thing and ran extremely comfortable, safe, and professional.
After we left I figured Charlie was hungry so we ate at Shoney's, convincing Charlie that all was well. I kept it down with little to no effort. I got some things cleaned up a little around the house and made my usual cucumber, tomato, and this time pepper pass then passed them out. Took ours and everybody elses trash off. Funny, after finally throwing up the pain went down to a tolerable level and even at times no pain. The Watermelon and Chicken Parmesan just didn't mix, Watermelon doesn't sit well on my stomach. I did eat light tonight, a grilled cheese sandwich. I'm still a bit weak and Denise want to cancel the bike ride tomorrow. I looked forward to riding with Richard & Missy and harassing Missy Shelton which turns 40! Ha, ha Missy, gotcha anyway, lol.
I'm putting a picture of the HBOT again so one can get the feel of what and where it all took place. If you click on the image it will enlarge. This thing is great for radiation healing and Diabetes problems. It seems to also help my neuropathy and I'm sure there are many more things it will help.
Once we started the dive my stomach started to roll, but it seemed manageable. Not quite to the half way mark I had a problem so I asked Chad for a drink and to give me a couple of minutes without the hood. Now you would really really see how this therapy works and how they do it. There are cameras and microphones in the unit and one EMT person is inside with us, this time it was Chad, and outside the chamber the doctor and another EMT person is watching. Shortly after the break that Chad gave me I felt nauseous and I motioned for him to come over to me. I told him I was going to throw up and asked I there was something to do it in. Chad took off my hood and went to the back of the chamber to get it. I thought that it may be explosive at worse, sickening to the others at best so we went to the back of the chamber to set. We talked for a moment and then I felt it coming. Now after months of throwing up from chemo, I'm pretty good at controlling it within reason. Practice makes perfect, lol.
Chad talked over the inside phone and filled Gary and Dr Downing in and Dr Downing went into a small decompression chamber between the observation/control center and the chamber. He pressurized quickly. Meanwhile Chad was going vital signs all of which were good, but they are that thorough. Downing was waiting in the decompression chamber for me and also check me as we decompressed, asking lots of questions like Chad did. After we decompressed and went into the observation/control room Gary also asked a lot of questions. Did I mention that all vitals are taken and questions asked even before each session? Sherry was also in the room as well. I am told that she is the one who pulls it all together. I told you I'd put you in here Sherry, lol. The only one not there today was John. All of the people there at HBOT are great and really care. I've had heart caths that aren't monitored as well, I'm not saying the heart caths weren't monitored well, they were. The whole staff at HBOT is exactly where God wants them to be. They operate as a complete team and as a family. My sessions had ended for the day which was embarrassing and sad but then again, the best thing to do given the circumstances. I restart next week. I went a bit farther into detail on this because I want people to know just how much goes into this. It is a complicated thing and ran extremely comfortable, safe, and professional.
After we left I figured Charlie was hungry so we ate at Shoney's, convincing Charlie that all was well. I kept it down with little to no effort. I got some things cleaned up a little around the house and made my usual cucumber, tomato, and this time pepper pass then passed them out. Took ours and everybody elses trash off. Funny, after finally throwing up the pain went down to a tolerable level and even at times no pain. The Watermelon and Chicken Parmesan just didn't mix, Watermelon doesn't sit well on my stomach. I did eat light tonight, a grilled cheese sandwich. I'm still a bit weak and Denise want to cancel the bike ride tomorrow. I looked forward to riding with Richard & Missy and harassing Missy Shelton which turns 40! Ha, ha Missy, gotcha anyway, lol.
I'm putting a picture of the HBOT again so one can get the feel of what and where it all took place. If you click on the image it will enlarge. This thing is great for radiation healing and Diabetes problems. It seems to also help my neuropathy and I'm sure there are many more things it will help.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
06-17-2010
Well, we're back to normal things today. HBOT went rough today, I stayed sick the whole time. I popped a cap off eating my biscuit & jelly this morning. I can't help but wonder when all the residue will end from the radiation. I took care of it when we got home, Gorilla Glued it back on.
I started this morning having to use some of the liquid Morphine, I couldn't get the pills swallowed from the swelling. The pain has raged again all day and when I got home I had to use it again. Then again before bedtime. I attempted to swallow a pill which lodged, so I was left with only the liquid. I ate some Watermelon earlier and still having reflux from it. Tonight my throat feels like it is closing off again. I got very, very little done today. This is the weakest I've been in a while and the third day of pain. The neuropathy has also raged. Hopefully tomorrow will be different... better.
We have a new lady in HBOT, she has a brain tumor and a new guy coming tomorrow but I haven't heard what is wrong with him. Who would have ever thought oxygen would do such great things. I still remember Denise telling me when I used the oxygen to help me breath that it wasn't good for me to do that. Now I do therapy.
Richard came by and got me hooked up to use acetylene, showed me how to use it. It has been since ninth grade since I used it. I've had the torch for quite a while now but never hooked it up. Other than that watering and picking a few cucumbers and squash and passing them out that was about it. Hopefully we will get to ride this weekend with them as Missy turns 40. These days though I cannot plan anything since I never know what tomorrow brings. The garden has become my escape these days, my source of enjoyment.
I started this morning having to use some of the liquid Morphine, I couldn't get the pills swallowed from the swelling. The pain has raged again all day and when I got home I had to use it again. Then again before bedtime. I attempted to swallow a pill which lodged, so I was left with only the liquid. I ate some Watermelon earlier and still having reflux from it. Tonight my throat feels like it is closing off again. I got very, very little done today. This is the weakest I've been in a while and the third day of pain. The neuropathy has also raged. Hopefully tomorrow will be different... better.
We have a new lady in HBOT, she has a brain tumor and a new guy coming tomorrow but I haven't heard what is wrong with him. Who would have ever thought oxygen would do such great things. I still remember Denise telling me when I used the oxygen to help me breath that it wasn't good for me to do that. Now I do therapy.
Richard came by and got me hooked up to use acetylene, showed me how to use it. It has been since ninth grade since I used it. I've had the torch for quite a while now but never hooked it up. Other than that watering and picking a few cucumbers and squash and passing them out that was about it. Hopefully we will get to ride this weekend with them as Missy turns 40. These days though I cannot plan anything since I never know what tomorrow brings. The garden has become my escape these days, my source of enjoyment.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Follow-up with Dr Panella
Me and Denise went to my follow-up with Dr Panella today. It went well and Panella was more like the first visits when I went to see him. He explained that he wanted the swelling, redness, and irritation to be down before I have the CAT Scan done and that is the reason that he has prolonged having it ran. Two of the three are gone now, only the swelling remains. The date is now just before the next visit with Panella in August for the CAT Scan.
He also discussed the pain patch which we are getting rid of... thank God. I'm sure I'll feel more pain and that part I could do without but at the same time I still retain fear of the patch and getting hooked on anything. Kim had given me advice on how she steps people down and I relayed it to Panella which liked the idea. It is so much safer doing it the way she said. We will step down to 12.5 mg from the current 25 mg then stop. I know I will probably still need some pain meds but I hope to be able to tolerate the pain. I use to have a high threshold to pain and pray I still do. We shall see. He said that I should have more energy and stamina once I'm off these patches. I'd take some pain to have that, definitely a good swap.
Panella didn't mention my blood work, I wish he had, but Denise said if anything was wrong he would have mentioned it. All the doctors I have are straight forward and I thank God for them being that way. He listed to my chest and felt my throat and apparently it was ok. We discussed the HBOT and I described it to him, he was amazed. Usually Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy is done in a tube where you lay down by yourself in what looks like a coffin. This on hold 10 people, an EMT is with you and you set in a comfortable chair while watching a movie. I'm hoping and praying that Panella will remember this and refer people to Dr Downing at St Mary's. With all the radiation damaged people, burn people, and diabetes people, we don't need to lose such a wonderful machine.
Today has been a painful day, my throat is killing me. Yesterday and today I took additional pain medication for the overrun of pain. This is the second day of it. I think I messed it up while on vacation but it will straighten out. The swelling is such that it has made taking the pills all but impossible, drinking and eating is that way too. Maybe HBOT will help that out tomorrow. My neuropathy rages tonight and today as well. He wasn't sure how long that would last to the point of being debilitating but he hopes no longer than a year.
I couldn't help but stop in and say hi to the ladies at the Chemo Hut. They are wonderful. Only three were there but I got three hugs from them. It occurred to me while I was there how much God has blessed me. From Mike who draws my blood, the ladies in the Chemo Hut, Panella's personal nurse, Ruth, Doctors Panella, Rathfoot, Green, Downing, John, Chad, Gary, Sidney Boyd. Then the special people that have came in and also made a difference like Kim (I'll still gladly be your 1st patient if you even go out on your own)and Dr Huntsinger who stepped in and helped me once while Panella was out. My friends that have been the like Sally whom I talk with every night. She fights a battle with Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma herself. Sal who I usually talk with who fights his cancer battle. My wife and family who have been with me through thick and thick. Charlie who has and still does drive me to my treatments, he never once has complained about doing it. They both are so much support and great people. All my friends and family that have visited me and the churches that have had me on their prayer lists. Even the radio station I listen to has been there, 106.9 - The Light. I have been truly blessed. God has allowed me to reside in the company of and lean on the greatest people on earth. In no way am I deserving of such great and awesome company. I humbly bow my head many nights and thank Him for all of the people who have touched my life. Even if the CAT Scan shows I've failed... I've won. In no way would I have ever made it this far without all of them and especially God and Jesus.
In a few short months from this to where I am today. I am truly blessed.
He also discussed the pain patch which we are getting rid of... thank God. I'm sure I'll feel more pain and that part I could do without but at the same time I still retain fear of the patch and getting hooked on anything. Kim had given me advice on how she steps people down and I relayed it to Panella which liked the idea. It is so much safer doing it the way she said. We will step down to 12.5 mg from the current 25 mg then stop. I know I will probably still need some pain meds but I hope to be able to tolerate the pain. I use to have a high threshold to pain and pray I still do. We shall see. He said that I should have more energy and stamina once I'm off these patches. I'd take some pain to have that, definitely a good swap.
Panella didn't mention my blood work, I wish he had, but Denise said if anything was wrong he would have mentioned it. All the doctors I have are straight forward and I thank God for them being that way. He listed to my chest and felt my throat and apparently it was ok. We discussed the HBOT and I described it to him, he was amazed. Usually Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy is done in a tube where you lay down by yourself in what looks like a coffin. This on hold 10 people, an EMT is with you and you set in a comfortable chair while watching a movie. I'm hoping and praying that Panella will remember this and refer people to Dr Downing at St Mary's. With all the radiation damaged people, burn people, and diabetes people, we don't need to lose such a wonderful machine.
Today has been a painful day, my throat is killing me. Yesterday and today I took additional pain medication for the overrun of pain. This is the second day of it. I think I messed it up while on vacation but it will straighten out. The swelling is such that it has made taking the pills all but impossible, drinking and eating is that way too. Maybe HBOT will help that out tomorrow. My neuropathy rages tonight and today as well. He wasn't sure how long that would last to the point of being debilitating but he hopes no longer than a year.
I couldn't help but stop in and say hi to the ladies at the Chemo Hut. They are wonderful. Only three were there but I got three hugs from them. It occurred to me while I was there how much God has blessed me. From Mike who draws my blood, the ladies in the Chemo Hut, Panella's personal nurse, Ruth, Doctors Panella, Rathfoot, Green, Downing, John, Chad, Gary, Sidney Boyd. Then the special people that have came in and also made a difference like Kim (I'll still gladly be your 1st patient if you even go out on your own)and Dr Huntsinger who stepped in and helped me once while Panella was out. My friends that have been the like Sally whom I talk with every night. She fights a battle with Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma herself. Sal who I usually talk with who fights his cancer battle. My wife and family who have been with me through thick and thick. Charlie who has and still does drive me to my treatments, he never once has complained about doing it. They both are so much support and great people. All my friends and family that have visited me and the churches that have had me on their prayer lists. Even the radio station I listen to has been there, 106.9 - The Light. I have been truly blessed. God has allowed me to reside in the company of and lean on the greatest people on earth. In no way am I deserving of such great and awesome company. I humbly bow my head many nights and thank Him for all of the people who have touched my life. Even if the CAT Scan shows I've failed... I've won. In no way would I have ever made it this far without all of them and especially God and Jesus.
In a few short months from this to where I am today. I am truly blessed.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Dr Rathfoot follow-up 06-15-2010
Me and Denise went to Dr Rathfoot for a follow-up today. He scoped me again and felt of my glands and from observation he sees no cancer. We asked him about all the things lately that have gone wrong or seems not improved much. His response was that it would just take more time and told us he had a patient last week that lost his throat.
He looked and said that I am now out of the woods as far as removing my larynx... thank God. He said he wasn't sure if I would be able to keep it after the radiation damage and that it really didn't look too favorable but now that has all changed. The Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy has worked! He said the swelling really hasn't went down much but that the irritation and redness are gone. He has prescribed more HBOT to hopefully finish it up. He prescribed me Zantac or something like that to use with the Nexxum to help control the reflux. Panella's visit is tomorrow. It should be interesting.
We came home and I guess I overdone it a bit yesterday, I just couldn't get started today. The neuropathy seems to be easing off a bit but nowhere near enough. I walk like a duck. I did manage to get off my butt by evening and bushhog the field in front of the house and picked 16 cucumbers. I divided them up evenly between houses, each got 4. We had visitors tonight that I had not seen in many a year, his daughter I had never met. Now it is about bedtime.
He looked and said that I am now out of the woods as far as removing my larynx... thank God. He said he wasn't sure if I would be able to keep it after the radiation damage and that it really didn't look too favorable but now that has all changed. The Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy has worked! He said the swelling really hasn't went down much but that the irritation and redness are gone. He has prescribed more HBOT to hopefully finish it up. He prescribed me Zantac or something like that to use with the Nexxum to help control the reflux. Panella's visit is tomorrow. It should be interesting.
We came home and I guess I overdone it a bit yesterday, I just couldn't get started today. The neuropathy seems to be easing off a bit but nowhere near enough. I walk like a duck. I did manage to get off my butt by evening and bushhog the field in front of the house and picked 16 cucumbers. I divided them up evenly between houses, each got 4. We had visitors tonight that I had not seen in many a year, his daughter I had never met. Now it is about bedtime.
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