I still have an infection in my chest or throat, not sure which. At first I thought that it was stemmed from the ventilator tube but Megan has it as does Missy. From that I assume that it isn't coming from the event. Megan says that lots of kids are sick in school. It makes me wonder what is wrong these days, we didn't stay sick like that back 30 years ago.
I worked outside but had to take breaks fairly often, the last one though I completely pushed myself out of aggravation from not able to get as much done as I needed to without breaks. That one dropped me like a rock. I slept for about 2 hours. It's almost like narcolepsy. Plus I think the heat swelled my throat up, something did and it still is. This gets old after a while. Not much stamina either. I found out today just how much strength I've lost too.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
August 31-2010 Dr Green Follow-up
Despite Denise not wanting to keep the appointment with Dr Green, I wanted to go. She is still irritated at him for the over burn. Me, I'm just thankful the cancer was burned out, provided I get to keep my voice box. Marlon Brando isn't so bad, lol. The side effects are debilitating most days though. Still, I needed his opinion. This man does not mince words, yet he is a kind man and a great Radiation doctor. I highly value his opinion.
Before we left, I took all my pills (when these end one day, God willing, there will be massive factory lay-offs lol), then one additional one, a pain pill. The first I've taken in a while. I swear I think I got a buzz, lol. Usually Dr Green scopes me and he uses nothing to numb you with. While he says he is good, and he is good, there are still more pain involved that he knows. Today though, he decided not to. So I got stoned for nothing, lol. He felt around and gave me a good report, except the rattles in my lungs, maybe an infection from the ventilator they used in surgery.
I slept pretty much all weekend from the infection. It must be something catching, Megan and Missy have it too. But it is all good.
My costs to this have been a dead thyroid gland, loads of scare tissue, infections, neuropathy, and at times pain. The Chemo Fog, and with the pills to curb the pain of the neuropathy, my balance is lost. I still have doubts of depression and heavy fatigue.
In spit of all this though, I breathe. I have hair again. I live, just not as full as it was.
Before we left, I took all my pills (when these end one day, God willing, there will be massive factory lay-offs lol), then one additional one, a pain pill. The first I've taken in a while. I swear I think I got a buzz, lol. Usually Dr Green scopes me and he uses nothing to numb you with. While he says he is good, and he is good, there are still more pain involved that he knows. Today though, he decided not to. So I got stoned for nothing, lol. He felt around and gave me a good report, except the rattles in my lungs, maybe an infection from the ventilator they used in surgery.
I slept pretty much all weekend from the infection. It must be something catching, Megan and Missy have it too. But it is all good.
My costs to this have been a dead thyroid gland, loads of scare tissue, infections, neuropathy, and at times pain. The Chemo Fog, and with the pills to curb the pain of the neuropathy, my balance is lost. I still have doubts of depression and heavy fatigue.
In spit of all this though, I breathe. I have hair again. I live, just not as full as it was.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
08-26-2010
I've stayed in today pretty much other than disposing of a opossum at Matt & Misty's house. No more sleep than I got I didn't have to brush the blood and puss out of my mouth but man is it ever sore. Still, no pain meds. I think I got this. Plus I ended up at the bookstore here in town and I bought a recipe book and two natural health treatment books. It wasn't as hot but what heat was there caused swelling in my throat. I have had about 2 1/2 hours of sleep. I don't know why I woke up at 4:30am. I got Matt, Charlie, and myself breakfast and delivered each their own. I didn't make it back in time to keep from getting sick from all the medication though. I may have to try something new tomorrow. Then just goofed off on the web. I need to slack off on that a bit. I got a new book in today, the last of four I ordered. Maybe this winter I'll get off my butt and build the new bookcase in the Living Room. there will be two of them that will be about 4 feet wide and 7 feet tall.
The last Llama we have left is about to be joined with company, we're getting her a mate. It will not be long until time to catch up the calves and sell them and get the hay in which I should have already gotten. I've had a full plate this year though, or that is my excuse anyway, lol. I need to get the Sunroom tile done and I'd like to pour a pad outside the garage door about 29x 29 of concrete. It's hard to get decent concrete people so I will o it myself, I'm not crazy about how the last pour turned out. I've talked with Mark and I'll hire him to help me lay the block inside the basement. If he can bring them to me I'll lay them. I can't remember if I ever taught anybody else that.
I'm hoping that maybe tomorrow I can at least get started taking the green bean seeds down, the ones that haven't went bad that is. In another month, maybe two, the Garlic will be here and it will need planting. I get to plant it this time. I have so much to do and I've gotten so far behind, but it waits for me, lol. Somehow I feel useful. If it involves dirt or getting dirty and sweaty I'm there... except i know i have to heal a little. That would be tomorrow, lol. It's 11:20 and even with a sleeping pill I am tired but not sleepy. Go figure. But it is a good day.
By the time most will read this it will be morning, so how about some Morning music. The other is for celebration.
The last Llama we have left is about to be joined with company, we're getting her a mate. It will not be long until time to catch up the calves and sell them and get the hay in which I should have already gotten. I've had a full plate this year though, or that is my excuse anyway, lol. I need to get the Sunroom tile done and I'd like to pour a pad outside the garage door about 29x 29 of concrete. It's hard to get decent concrete people so I will o it myself, I'm not crazy about how the last pour turned out. I've talked with Mark and I'll hire him to help me lay the block inside the basement. If he can bring them to me I'll lay them. I can't remember if I ever taught anybody else that.
I'm hoping that maybe tomorrow I can at least get started taking the green bean seeds down, the ones that haven't went bad that is. In another month, maybe two, the Garlic will be here and it will need planting. I get to plant it this time. I have so much to do and I've gotten so far behind, but it waits for me, lol. Somehow I feel useful. If it involves dirt or getting dirty and sweaty I'm there... except i know i have to heal a little. That would be tomorrow, lol. It's 11:20 and even with a sleeping pill I am tired but not sleepy. Go figure. But it is a good day.
By the time most will read this it will be morning, so how about some Morning music. The other is for celebration.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
08-25-2010 The 2nd Biopsy
Well today was one of those high spots in this ride. We went this morning for the 2nd Biopsy, the first biopsy since the initial one that discovered the tumor. Dr Rathfoot told Denise that he didn't take any samples because he sees no evidence of a tumor, just extreme radiation damage. While that sounds bad and is bad it is the lesser of two evils. From what he saw the Chemo and Radiation killed it! It also killed a lot of other things in the process. In a war there is always collateral damage, and this is part of that. While it is depressing to try and do what you once did or spend a day without pain, you are waking up on the green side of the grass, lol.
I was a bit disappointing that the lady who came to pray with me, or rather for, didn't show up. As they injected the drug to put me under I managed to say the Lord's Prayer silently to God. Not out of fear but out of love.
He injected directly into several places a steroid called Kennalog (spelling?). Rathfoot prescribed more Prednisone (5mgx2 for 5 days), Cipro (500mgx1 for 10 days). At the next visit he was access if this has helped, I'm guessing.
If this does not work there is another option. To remove and repair the throat that he could do laser surgery and cut the scared tissue out. I'm not sure what all that entails. Hopefully not bad but it isn't a death sentence so again, it beats the alternative.
When I woke up I had an Endotracheal Tube in my throat breathing for me. It looked like dad's. I worried up until now if dad felt pain with this thing in his mouth, it has consumed my thoughts. Denise said they used this the first time but pulled it out before I awoke. The nurse was standing over me like lightening, asking questions. I couldn't speak but tried to and nodded, much like dad did. She told me that Dr Rathfoot had instructed them to wait until I woke up and make sure that I was breathing well before taking it out. It was confusing, scary, and I am thankful for this experience. I went to talk with mom and told her, she said she had the same worries. He answered two people today. I now know that it did not hurt him and when it was pulled there was no pain. Or at least, not that I experienced. I thank God for showing me that through this. God answers questions that he knows you need an answer to. Be careful what you ask God to know, least you find it out through experience. I am however, thankful He showed me.
Rather than take the pain meds as instructed I wanted to know what was sore, where it hurts. So I waited until the pain meds left my system before taking anything else. Not that I am into pain but I wanted to know where and just how bad. Plus I wanted to add no damage when I ate. My gum is sore on the lower part, like the skin has been stretch and tore a bit. The roof of the back of my mouth hurt, perhaps the equipment used going down? Then along the throat there are pin areas, I assume that is where the injections took place. Fatigue and weak plus the neuropathy, while the pain level is about the same, raising and lowering the feet and legs is an effort at best, clumsy at worse. My throat is a bit swelled and breathing is labored. All in all though, a tolerable pain to a certain extent and manageable with 10mg Lortab. The best part is that none of these are said to last hopefully and minuscule as to what it could have been.
So for now this hellish ride has a high spot once again. We ride the wave towards the beach, fully knowing that this ride is suppose to be rough and when we hit the beach the journey begins. Today we live and enjoy for yesterday is gone and tomorrow isn't here yet. We have enough to ponder today's events without borrowing troubles from tomorrow.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyFxArMeRDI
I was a bit disappointing that the lady who came to pray with me, or rather for, didn't show up. As they injected the drug to put me under I managed to say the Lord's Prayer silently to God. Not out of fear but out of love.
He injected directly into several places a steroid called Kennalog (spelling?). Rathfoot prescribed more Prednisone (5mgx2 for 5 days), Cipro (500mgx1 for 10 days). At the next visit he was access if this has helped, I'm guessing.
If this does not work there is another option. To remove and repair the throat that he could do laser surgery and cut the scared tissue out. I'm not sure what all that entails. Hopefully not bad but it isn't a death sentence so again, it beats the alternative.
When I woke up I had an Endotracheal Tube in my throat breathing for me. It looked like dad's. I worried up until now if dad felt pain with this thing in his mouth, it has consumed my thoughts. Denise said they used this the first time but pulled it out before I awoke. The nurse was standing over me like lightening, asking questions. I couldn't speak but tried to and nodded, much like dad did. She told me that Dr Rathfoot had instructed them to wait until I woke up and make sure that I was breathing well before taking it out. It was confusing, scary, and I am thankful for this experience. I went to talk with mom and told her, she said she had the same worries. He answered two people today. I now know that it did not hurt him and when it was pulled there was no pain. Or at least, not that I experienced. I thank God for showing me that through this. God answers questions that he knows you need an answer to. Be careful what you ask God to know, least you find it out through experience. I am however, thankful He showed me.
Rather than take the pain meds as instructed I wanted to know what was sore, where it hurts. So I waited until the pain meds left my system before taking anything else. Not that I am into pain but I wanted to know where and just how bad. Plus I wanted to add no damage when I ate. My gum is sore on the lower part, like the skin has been stretch and tore a bit. The roof of the back of my mouth hurt, perhaps the equipment used going down? Then along the throat there are pin areas, I assume that is where the injections took place. Fatigue and weak plus the neuropathy, while the pain level is about the same, raising and lowering the feet and legs is an effort at best, clumsy at worse. My throat is a bit swelled and breathing is labored. All in all though, a tolerable pain to a certain extent and manageable with 10mg Lortab. The best part is that none of these are said to last hopefully and minuscule as to what it could have been.
So for now this hellish ride has a high spot once again. We ride the wave towards the beach, fully knowing that this ride is suppose to be rough and when we hit the beach the journey begins. Today we live and enjoy for yesterday is gone and tomorrow isn't here yet. We have enough to ponder today's events without borrowing troubles from tomorrow.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyFxArMeRDI
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
08-24-2010
I got the yard mowed, Okra cut, and worked again on the boat with Matt. We have success on the switch, now the rest of it, lol. Then enjoyed a few Pears with the Llama. She is like her mom and dad. I ate Pears every year with them. I really need to get her a buddy. Everything is laid out for my biopsy. I dread it yet look forward to it. It would have been nice if it didn't need done. The pain has just now become tolerable without anything being used for the last couple of weeks.
The neuropathy hasn't changed but the loud hissing in the ears have become less frequent now. After a heavy dose of predisone the swelling is less now, easier to breathe. I'm not sure what the answer is to the swelling and I don't think they do either. Balance has been off for a change more than usual. My hair is thinning and beginning to straighten out.
This is an emotional roller coaster ride for all of us. I imagine just enjoy the high points and pray it ends soon. Oh yes, and me and Megan went around the block on the bike. I actually think the bike's vibration helps the neuropathy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-quOpUPVsLo
The neuropathy hasn't changed but the loud hissing in the ears have become less frequent now. After a heavy dose of predisone the swelling is less now, easier to breathe. I'm not sure what the answer is to the swelling and I don't think they do either. Balance has been off for a change more than usual. My hair is thinning and beginning to straighten out.
This is an emotional roller coaster ride for all of us. I imagine just enjoy the high points and pray it ends soon. Oh yes, and me and Megan went around the block on the bike. I actually think the bike's vibration helps the neuropathy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-quOpUPVsLo
Thursday, August 19, 2010
08-19-2010
I got a call from St Mary's Hospital getting all the info down and ready. We went over all the drugs and supplements I take, bet she got writers cramp, lol. They put me on high dosage or predisome (and I can't spell that word) which has taken the swelling down and the pain along with it, for the most part. Not near as much blood to get up in the morning, love that.
The neuropathy is bad tonight and wasn't much better today. Sally said hers was worse too tonight. I keep wondering about the barometric pressure. There has to be something in common. If we just had more.
I canceled the sleep study after talking with Kim. Rathfoot said he had not considered that my throat would not withstand the pressure and thought it was a good idea. Thank you once again Kim. And by the way, I am jealous. You and your husband rode the dragon. ME and Denise haven't gotten to do that yet.
I have Megan lined up for a meeting with Art for her evaluation and then he will tell us what needs to be done. More importantly, he will tel the school. Thank you Dale. I dropped your name and he says you are THE BEST Interpreter there is. But we all knew that now didn't we. Megan and Terry talk on the web. Meeting Terry was good for her too, thank you. Megan sees now that she can function normally, well, as normal as she can. I think she likes him but he is a bit old for her. Nice boy though. You get time Dale I want a family picture made while there is still 5 generations left.
I talked with Johnny today briefly at the funeral home just in case. That will keep Denise from spending a lot of money on it. Hopefully it will not come to that but it is better to be prepared. It would make it easier on her. Got April's seeds packed up and ready to go. She is such an inspiration.
We laughed over my name in the paper where I spoke at the county commission meeting. It feel on deaf ears though. I did get a long round of applause and some calls. I am considering a petition. people get the government they deserve. Hopefully our people will stand their ground.
The neuropathy is bad tonight and wasn't much better today. Sally said hers was worse too tonight. I keep wondering about the barometric pressure. There has to be something in common. If we just had more.
I canceled the sleep study after talking with Kim. Rathfoot said he had not considered that my throat would not withstand the pressure and thought it was a good idea. Thank you once again Kim. And by the way, I am jealous. You and your husband rode the dragon. ME and Denise haven't gotten to do that yet.
I have Megan lined up for a meeting with Art for her evaluation and then he will tell us what needs to be done. More importantly, he will tel the school. Thank you Dale. I dropped your name and he says you are THE BEST Interpreter there is. But we all knew that now didn't we. Megan and Terry talk on the web. Meeting Terry was good for her too, thank you. Megan sees now that she can function normally, well, as normal as she can. I think she likes him but he is a bit old for her. Nice boy though. You get time Dale I want a family picture made while there is still 5 generations left.
I talked with Johnny today briefly at the funeral home just in case. That will keep Denise from spending a lot of money on it. Hopefully it will not come to that but it is better to be prepared. It would make it easier on her. Got April's seeds packed up and ready to go. She is such an inspiration.
We laughed over my name in the paper where I spoke at the county commission meeting. It feel on deaf ears though. I did get a long round of applause and some calls. I am considering a petition. people get the government they deserve. Hopefully our people will stand their ground.
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