12-30

  Got up again this morning and felt pretty good. Left hand is still numb but that is about it. The pain in my jaw is slowly fading. I almost have a jaw line again. The hardest thing is getting all the lotion off my neck in the mornings before heading out. They want the neck clean and dry or else the radiation will increase in strength, we don't want that.

 Tomorrow is the last day for this week, thank God. Already with just the first three I can feel the burn and my voice is back getting gruffly. No real pain yet though. I have not a hint of a beard and I am so thankful for that, shaving is painful. The session was a quick one today but again, two places where it seems to drill into my throat.

  The lady that has throat and mouth cancer was back again today. She too had been burnt to a crisp and took two weeks off the same time that I did. Somebody graduated today and now my time moves up to 7:15am. I haven't seen the older man that is going through mouth cancer... God love him, he hasn't a clue what is in store. Even when you are told, it just doesn't sink in just how bad is bad.

  Afterward, Denise wanted to go to Bass Pro for some tops she saw advertised, they were closed that early though. We went to Shoney's and ate. Get this, I have only ate there twice before, today was the third time and not consecutively. When I unrolled my silverware they remember and placed plastic in it instead of metal. That blew my mind. They remembered. Now that is service and pride in what you do. When we were done we went back to Bass Pro. Denise notices everything, included my shaky walk and exhaustion. She wanted to quit but hey, gotta build my strength somehow. I'll have to admit, I did come home and take a nap. Fatigue seems to be a large part of this.

  I had mom send me a link to Fannie Mae's site and I went in and done a BPO tonight for her. Now that Rosie is there the two can learn to do them. I did enjoy doing it though. That is the reason for my late post tonight. I'll help them but it has to be from here for now as my health will allow until they get the hang of it... and I know they will. I always liked working with Chase and Fannie Mae. They aren't easy but they aren't hard once you learn what they want. If Sandra at Chase is reading this, hello, I miss talking with you.

  I go to bed tonight at 203lbs. My goal will be 210 so that when the pain comes back again I will have a buffer. 

  Tomorrow, God willing, the weather will be favorable and Bill and I will go look at a car hauler that needs some work. Of course it will set for quite a while before I can work on it. I think maybe I'm trying to keep something lined up to do to build my strength back. Maybe it is a dream, but it's not a give up yet.