1-24-2010

  Funny, I thought when the treatment were over it would start to get better. I knew that the radiation effects would take place this week from last week and that my throat would be bad. I also knew that what damage has been done would not be undone overnight, I just didn't think it would continue to be this hard.

  Charlie and me are going to UT tomorrow and get some more IV fluids, I'm hitting them up for a couple of bags, lol. They did say I could come when I needed to, so I will if Charlie can take me go there at least twice this week, maybe three times. I weighed tonight and my weight is 187 lbs. That is about what I weighed in High School over 30 years ago.

  It's funny, the pain killers constipate and dehydrate me yet without them the soreness in my throat will not allow me to eat. I even tried Ensure and the Sodium content is like drinking fire. I've drank more Pedialite and that seems to help somewhat, just not enough. Go figure, lol. I can set up for a while but I'm still too weak to stay up for long periods. My goal tonight is to have enough strength to walk to the truck tomorrow and to walk into the Chemo Hut on my own power. While that may not sound like much right now it looks like a mountain. So that I could eat breakfast today I gave in for the first time since Friday and took 1/2 a dose of liquid Morphine and tonight I'm doing the same so I can eat.  I've managed to get almost 2 eggs and most of a piece of sausage and part of 2 pieces of toast along with a few bites of Oatmeal (they get stuck in the holes in my throat), a pudding, and I guess that is all. I thought there was something else but I guess not. I am about to attempt a crescent roll, piece of hamburger meat with mushroom gravy and mashed potatoes. Think I got full just typing that in, lol.   

  I should have read more on the blogs, what few I found on this and asked more questions up front. While I am glad I have fought, if this were placed in front of me and they told me I would have to redo it, I'm not too sure that I could or even would. The only solstice I've had today was mom bringing me in a BPO to do that I asked her for. Usually I'd have them done in an hour or two, this took a few hours. It sure was fun to do something other than lay and set all day. Sometimes I wish I could amuse myself with TV but other than a few shows I can't. I have looked through a seed catalog even though I know I can't do my garden this year. I've almost got me an order up and if nothing else I'll freeze them and use them next year... or talk Denise and Megan into growing them, lol. Sometime during the summer I should be able to work in it and if nothing else watch it grow. Then again, I'll be home alone during the day and I can sneak out and play in it, lol.

Added:

I got about 1/4th of it eat and I am about to bust.