1-9-10

  I woke up late this morning with Denise asking me where the log chain was and that Bill was waiting. I took a sup of water which I didn't swash around well enough trying to hurry and answer. I cracked both sides of the inside of my throat open. It bled for a while and is still sore but not bleeding. Lesson learned. No matter how much someone is rushing for an answer in the morning, wait until you get your mouth and throat lubricated. I usually start out every morning with water, swishing it around and slowly swallowing, three or four times and if it isn't lubricated enough then I use biotene mouth spray. This is an over the counter product and if your pharmacy doesn't stock it, ask them to get it.

   My throat is swollen up again and coke or anything like that, including Chili is again, out of the question. Baby food may be yet back on the menu, definitely soft, bland foods. I also used for the first time in a while Lidocaine 2% Viscous.  

  We went to town to deposit a check that was due me last year but the closing company forgot to send it, then forgot that they forgot it. We ate Japanese which was good but the radiation and or chemo changed the taste of the shrimp sauce. The rice kept getting stuck in my throat too. That use to scare me and freak me out but after months of it, you learn to keep calm and work it back up. We started for Walmart but they were too busy, too much chance of infection. We went to Newport to get cat food then came back and found we needed chicken food, so off to Tractor Supply we went, lol. It was nice to g out and go somewhere other than UT for a change.

  Now Annie and Megan are sick, but like flu sick. I've felt so-so and just in case, I'm staying in my end of the house. I've only 9 more treatments! Then on the 22nd we go see Dr Panella again. I'll run out of these pain patches in a few more days but I have Endocets left and hopefully can ween off them. Kim, if you are still reading please let me know how many days I need to do the Endocets so that it will lessen the chance of DTs.  I will be so glad to be off pain medicine, yet I know I couldn't have tolerated all this without it. I think the worse is the Morphine and the patch though. I pray I never have to use these again. 

   Cody brought back Big Ugly with the new bed he installed and made for me.... it looks great. I may even have to change it's name now, lol. It ain't as ugly as it was. He done an excellent job on it. The headache rack he made and he had to re-fabricate the size of the floor and the rear of the bed to the bumper. He even put recessed tail lights in it! Mood lifter. He charged a reasonable price too for all that work. Charlie found one of the old bottles that Denise used to put my cocktail in, it had 2 pain pills (I usually carry them there just in case). He thought I needed it so he brought it back here in the cold.  

  The man in his 60s is still on my mind. Charlie had talked with him and his wife while I was in treatment Friday. He has had 9 so far and he said he couldn't do it. His wife said that he was giving up. He told them about my blog and if they are reading this, please don't give up. It will get worse... a lot worse, but then it will get better. The brief talk we had, you are looking at me at my best I have been in months. I probably look like I've been rode hard and put up wet, and seemed energetic, but I started out where you are. You can do this thing but not alone. You've a great teams of doctors and family and more importantly... God. Just remember to P.U.S.H. Pray Until Something Happens. It will not be easy but it will be worth it. Just look at where you were, where you are, and where you will be. If you ever need a shoulder then call me. Denise gave you my card. 24/7, anytime you need to talk.