10-01-2014

  I had my Stress Test done today, first time ever for a chemical one. I don't think I could do the treadmill with the neuropathy, so I went this way. A friend of mine had me a bit concerned, said when he had his done he thought he was having a heart attack. He needed someone to take him and pick up his truck he has at a shop being fixed, so I took him afterward. I told him that was not bad at all, and it wasn't. Some shortness of breath, some pressure, but the key words are some.... a far cry from a heart attack. Unofficially it turned out ok, but I go Friday for the follow-up visit after the doctor sees it. Denise said maybe a heart cath, so I am prepared. They do those though the arm these days and that beats the groin and being naked hands down.

  My friend Sally gave us some bad news the other night. Dr Rathfoot's wife died suddenly at 50 years old. We never met her but he is probably hands down the best doctor I've ever met, and one of the nicest people too. They have two kids. Not a night has went by that I haven't prayed for him and his family. I stand at a loss for words, I know, unusual for me. How does one say their heart break fir those left behind, yet rejoices for the one gone home. For his wife Tammy, her trials are over and now she is perfect. In a perfect place, with a perfect God. Yet for those who have not seen and experienced that, they are just words. Sometimes that can come across wrong as I cannot find words to do justice to where she is. Even then, it still hurts. Knowing there are no good-byes, it still hurts. I think it is suppose to be like that, bitter/sweet. I am reminded of an old Cherokee Proverb: "When you were born you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die you rejoice and the world cries." It would appear that is the case here.

 I have heard that two more friends I have have cancer, different in where they are and type. I pray for them too. Win or lose the battle one suddenly finds themselves in the reality of this world is temporary at best, a side track at worst. They will see that most of the stuff we think important isn't, and what we never thought much about is. Success will no longer be measured by things and possessions, nor bank accounts and dress- but by the very act of what a man (or woman) does, is, says, and feels. Success will be measured by love, truth, and peace; and with these comes kindness, compassion, and caring. The things of God and what He offers us. Things we need to be still for and know that God is God. Things that seem a curse that becomes a blessing. There is far more to saving someone than physical and knowing that one can be saved and yet physically die. If they live through it, and I pray they do, all they know will have changed.

  Then comes the hard part, remembering the lesson each and every day. Then another hard part will be speaking to others. Some will be pleased while many will not understand, even think you have lost your mind. That added to a near death experience leaves one looking and sounding odd to many. The more the world drifts from the truth, the stranger the truth will appear. The stranger the world will appear. I saw a lady today who stressed over tedious things, so much so nobody wanted to be around her. To her she makes sense, to the rest she makes mountains from mole hills, yet one dares not say that. People that seek self gratification are never happy. It is the carrot before the mule thing. I know that from experience. I was searching for the wrong things for the wrong reasons, though they seemed right at the time. Those days have ended now and so when I get told they can;t fix this or that, I'm good with it. This world is not what life is about.  Live your life so that you win either way.