Well it just occurred to me tonight that Dr Rama may send a report to Dr Rathfoot. I see Dr Rathfoot the 17th, Denise's birthday. I have to go have a check up with Rama, Town, or Deb next week. Hopefully Denise won't tell on me. The day I got out of the hospital I finished taking the starter off the lawn tractor. Monday and Tuesday the signs were right for planting stuff that is above ground, so Megan, Denise, and me all planted one of the gardens. Funny, I fired up the tractor Monday and I think everybody hear it, any other time nobody would have paid attention, lol. Today I am tired and have a little pain so I took it easy, plus it was raining, lol.
This time they confirmed it, Charlie's cancer has followed that tree into his lungs. He will begin treatments in June after a surgery to implant gold somethings in his lungs. They will be using the Cyber Knife, I probably spelled that wrong. I think chemo too, but not sure. He has it in both lungs but they caught it at Stage 1. We spoke between us, me, him, and Tina, openly in words not shared usually unless people are survivors. He teared up and said he didn't want to die but dying isn't the worse of it, it is the uncertainty, the not knowing. That is the hardest part and I will have to agree. People who have lived so close to death that dying is easier than living realize this. This is not the "I'm so sick I could die" or that could have been fatal but rather the part where dying is easier than living for real. The part where you know you really have little to no control, and those working on you don't have much more either. The part where you are afraid to close your eyes knowing that one second of letting your guard down will cost you your life. Where seconds feel like minutes and minutes like hours and hours like days and days like years, and it seems to never end.
To the lighter side, they saved off my chest hair and hair in places I will refrain for mentioning. Boy is this going to itch when it starts back. The chest one can scratch, the lower parts... not so much in public. It kind of looks funny, lol. If you want people to let you in front of them at a line, that'll do it, lol.
This time they confirmed it, Charlie's cancer has followed that tree into his lungs. He will begin treatments in June after a surgery to implant gold somethings in his lungs. They will be using the Cyber Knife, I probably spelled that wrong. I think chemo too, but not sure. He has it in both lungs but they caught it at Stage 1. We spoke between us, me, him, and Tina, openly in words not shared usually unless people are survivors. He teared up and said he didn't want to die but dying isn't the worse of it, it is the uncertainty, the not knowing. That is the hardest part and I will have to agree. People who have lived so close to death that dying is easier than living realize this. This is not the "I'm so sick I could die" or that could have been fatal but rather the part where dying is easier than living for real. The part where you know you really have little to no control, and those working on you don't have much more either. The part where you are afraid to close your eyes knowing that one second of letting your guard down will cost you your life. Where seconds feel like minutes and minutes like hours and hours like days and days like years, and it seems to never end.
To the lighter side, they saved off my chest hair and hair in places I will refrain for mentioning. Boy is this going to itch when it starts back. The chest one can scratch, the lower parts... not so much in public. It kind of looks funny, lol. If you want people to let you in front of them at a line, that'll do it, lol.
No comments:
Post a Comment