Friday, November 6, 2009

Mega Dose day 8 and Review

 Well Sunday was pretty much a repeat of Saturday, so much so I just didn't feel like getting on and writing. Nothing would stay put except the 1 area things should stay put, lol. Seems there is no happy medium, things either get all bound up... or they just stop. This time though the dryness in my mouth seems much, much, worse.

  Monday came and I felt a but better so a friend of mine had called me Saturday about buying Fainting Goat Males. He brought his son and we eventually got them in the barn. His son done the most of the work. I grabbed a gate which hit on a block and something popped in my right elbow. That is the elbow that couldn't be fixed without losing my job in about 2002. The doctor said it needed surgery but if he did it, it would make it better, but not 100% and a supervision informed him that I would be terminated, company policy. So he and I decided to let it go. We built it back the best we could and I learned what not to do.

Tuesday morning came and mom & I went to Pigeon Forge to have the water turned on at a Cabin we've got listed that is sold for an inspection. I hate to admit it but it tired me out and I took a nap. Then came the evening and we finally got to catch the calves. I was the first on the hill but Mark wasn't far behind me. Thank God he was too. The cows ambushed the truck and pulled a bag of feed off and stopped right outside the gate. I tried to fight them off, but wasn't doing any good. Mark was able to get them back, and then we got them to go into the coral. Jerry Kirk came and brought a man with him, he knew I couldn't do a lot. Really he, Mark and the other man done most of it, I tried to assist and I think I done ok. I was beat. I noticed we are missing 2 cows or calves, and still are as of this writing. 

  Wednesday came and it wasn't what I had thought, I was sick and weak. One of the first times in my life I did not get out of my PJs. Throat was still ripping and stomach still upset. The ay was a total loss, I slept through most of it. I struggled keeping down a piece if toast and apple butter and later, Old Timers breakfast from Cracker Barrel, which I might have gotten 1/2 ate before getting sick and the pain from the throwing up stopped me. 

That brings us to Friday, 8 days after. Somewhere I lost my handle and smoked. I'm not smoking a lot but since I'm addicted, any is not good. I am going to talk to the doctor about it next visit. He said he has something that will help me. Throughout this week I have been real nervous, maybe that is something? I have to get back to none, zero, not a puff! I've prayed about it. Fussed at myself for it. I will not give up until I quit, and I will quit. I drove myself to Mascot and picked up my check for the calves, deposited it in Morristown where I bank, then went to Whitesburg and placed a sign on a new property, then back to the office. More or less I knew I needed to stop and rest before I went home for safety. Got home and rested some then watered the plants in the Sunroom and later hooked up Annie a new monitor... my old (3 month old) 20" LCD one.

  I eat, and eat, and eat. I really don't want that feeding tube. Wednesday night I was down to 204 lbs, tonight I am back to 207 lbs... still a ways to go from 224 lbs. I'd like to end up about 195-200, maybe 205 when we're done. I also know that I am at best, 1/2 way there with the chemo... I don't even want to think about it if I'm not. More of my hair and mustache that was left is leaving.

  It's now 3:42 am. I woke up with a sever dry mouth and throat dreaming I had been eating corn chips and they were stuck. Not as much pain though, probably because I took 2 Lortab 10s before bedtime. They are losing their efficiency so I guess we'll have to change to whatever is next. Writing this I've downed another pill and 2 16.9 oz waters. I crave juice but my throat will not allow the acid.

  I'm looking at the calendar and wondering if  by Thanksgiving, dose 3 will allow me to eat or at least allow me to function, it comes the 18th. I fear it. With the properties that I have that have contracts on them, I think it will be enough to buy Christmas and pay what I owe to the hospitals and doctors. God has blessed us there.

Tomorrow I go back to Dr Green, the Radiologist for him to make a mask of my face and get the measurements for the treatments to start. I just hope if he runs that tube down my nose into my throat again he will numb me this time.

Till Another time