Tuesday, February 11, 2014


   Mom has been back home since Saturday (8th), started out rough but so far so good. Denise worked her butt off when mom went into A Fib the first few hours of being home. She got her back in adjusting mom's meds, I sometimes forget just how good she is at that stuff. Denise stops in and checks mom's vital signs out, gives mom her meds, and leaves instructions for me before she goes to work. At 10am I call her with mom's BP and heart rhythm and Denise says what if anything and how much to give. I fix or buy breakfast, fix lunch and dinner for mom. Megan stays the nights and sleeps during the days at mom's. She attends mom's needs. Despite the lack of faith a family member had, Megan has done an excellent job, she just needed the chance to prove that she can do stuff. I dare say nobody could do it better. She is hard of hearing not stupid, and if there was ever a doubt there isn't now. This same family member, who is a nurse sent hot dogs over yesterday! Who feeds Hot Dogs to a person who has had A Fib, BP problems, and Congestive Heart Failure, especially when they are a nurse. I played the role of a bad guy and told her she couldn't have them, too much sodium content in them.

  Now we stumble upon a not so good thing, I have caught a cold of sorts, feels like flu or pneumonia. I came home early today and just laid, leaving Megan there, which I know mom was in good hands. The Hospice nurse and case worker came, both were nice, the Chaplin the other day, which I didn't meet but mom and Megan said was nice. Mom can now turn herself too!!! Denise even had her setting up for a brief period. I know mom is terminal, I'm not in denial, but I also know that we leave no faster than God calls us, and in the meanwhile, I want her to enjoy while she has. Selfishly, I'd keep her from now on. She wants to walk again, and maybe she can and maybe she can't, but only time will tell. Meanwhile, I have to have a little faith, faith that if it is is His will she will, and if not she won't. Either way, we have to try. It is 220am, and I can't sleep. So I write. I think even my thoughts hurt these last couple of days. Read Sally's email, she is back home, she was in the hospital, but on her way to recovery. It occurred to me today while I was feeding the cows. We are all terminal, but only the lucky ones know it. We feel the slip each day, day by day... and that makes us enjoy what we have more than want what we do not have. Sometimes blessings come through pain and tears.