Wednesday, May 11, 2016


Well it just occurred to me tonight that Dr Rama may send a report to Dr Rathfoot. I see Dr Rathfoot the 17th, Denise's birthday. I have to go have a check up with Rama, Town, or Deb next week. Hopefully Denise won't tell on me. The day I got out of the hospital I finished taking the starter off the lawn tractor. Monday and Tuesday the signs were right for planting stuff that is above ground, so Megan, Denise, and me all planted one of the gardens. Funny, I fired up the tractor Monday and I think everybody hear it, any other time nobody would have paid attention, lol. Today I am tired and have a little pain so I took it easy, plus it was raining, lol.

  This time they confirmed it, Charlie's cancer has followed that tree into his lungs. He will begin treatments in June after a surgery to implant gold somethings in his lungs. They will be using the Cyber Knife, I probably spelled that wrong. I think chemo too, but not sure. He has it in both lungs but they caught it at Stage 1. We spoke between us, me, him, and Tina, openly in words not shared usually unless people are survivors. He teared up and said he didn't want to die but dying isn't the worse of it, it is the uncertainty, the not knowing. That is the hardest part and I will have to agree. People who have lived so close to death that dying is easier than living realize this. This is not the "I'm so sick I could die" or that could have been fatal but rather the part where dying is easier than living for real. The part where you know you really have little to no control, and those working on you don't have much more either. The part where you are afraid to close your eyes knowing that one second of letting your guard down will cost you your life. Where seconds feel like minutes and minutes like hours and hours like days and days like years, and it seems to never end.

  To the lighter side, they saved off my chest hair and hair in places I will refrain for mentioning. Boy is this going to itch when it starts back. The chest one can scratch, the lower parts... not so much in public. It kind of looks funny, lol. If you want people to let you in front of them at a line, that'll do it, lol.     

Saturday, May 7, 2016


Well not related directly to the cancer but definitely worth recording is the events that happened Thursday 05-04-2016. It started about 4-4:30, chest pain and numb lips. I must have looked the part because Megan was worried about how I looked. I came in and grabbed the nitro, rested a bit, then headed back outside to help Megan feed the chickens and ducks.

  It hit yet again and a tad harder this time. I went back inside, probably looking worse than the first time (according to Megan), and once again started with Nitro. It started to work but then I was in a hurry to get back outside and boom, it hit with a vengeance. I still figured I could beat it, I'd beat it a few times in the past months, but this time it wasn't letting up, at least not a total reset.

  Denise gets home and I have laid flat in the flood, a trick that had worked before. This time I couldn't get up. I have a pretty high threshold to pain but once crossed I am at a loss, and it leaped across all at once. My lips went numb, the pain was as hard between my shoulder blades as it was in my chest. Denise had asked me a time or two if I wanted her to drive me to the ER and I declined. This time though I looked at Megan and said, "Go get you mamma". Denise came back with her and I said "Dial 911". My first Ambulance ride and hopefully my last. They crew done good, especially the neighbor's son.

  So anyway I get there and Dr Rama again worked on me with the procedure then Dr Town closed me back with some kind of plug like thing in my groin. I spent 1 day in CCU and 1 day on the regular heart floor room, then home. Other than a hospital doctor named Smith, MHH done a great job. Dr Smith, though his intentions were good, his delivery isn't. Then again it is hard to think so highly of yourself and so low of others and expect to be productive. (Hint to doctors, don't feel too above the rest that you look down and talk down to people, least your message be missed or received wrong.) 

  Other than that though it was a good experience, given what it was. Misty on the other hand for the 3rd time she was put in the hospital in a Johnson City for Kidney Stones. She almost went septic this last time from their blunderings. They must have a thing with a mortician out there. (Hint to Dr Smith, this that has been done to Misty by pompous, arrogant, ignorant, doctors who apparently think higher of themselves then they preform.) So that might be a place to consider working at with those Delusions of Grandeur you have.