I skipped a day, yesterday was rough. The chemo hit a day early and it was probably my fault that it did, it hit my kidneys. The pain is excruciating in my chest from what Denise says is Esophageal Spasms caused by the radiation. Given my throat is already compromised from the radiation that was in 2009-2010, I don't have a lot of play left. It can only be described as a hot Dagger going from my front of the chest and through the back and eventually working down the top part of my lungs. It is enough to cease eating and drinking. They gave me a script for Swish & Swallow, which has different names, but it is like pissing on a Forrest fire thinking it would put it out. I told Denise it just doesn't work so I've added taking a 10mg Lortab and a 20mg Baclofen prior to eating. That helps but it still doesn't numb anything enough. Carbonated drinks like Dr.Pepper are a no go and water and Tea are only tolerable at room temperature. Something needs to change. I told Denise I was considering taking advantage of this and losing some of the added weight I have. She said it was early in the game and that weight loss would probably come later like it or not.
Back to the Kidneys, I drank a Dr.Pepper while chemo was going on and afterward, no water, no Gatorade... and that was a big mistake. I was excited about getting to drink a cold Dr.Pepper and should have been more excited to have some common sense and drink water, Gatorade, and Tea. As yesterday went along I drank tons of water and Gatorade, not to mention Tea Denise brewed. This has turned the tides so to speak. At one time yesterday, I sat for about 30 minutes crunched over the trash can waiting to toss my food up. After that eased off it left me weak and tired, dozing off a few times. My sleep though comes in spurts these days.
I went to the Brooder room and fed the cats then decided I'd feed the 2 Brooders of chicks. I had washed the dishes and watched some TV, then boredom set in. There just ain't much good to watch these days I'm over the F-bomb and other colorful words being used, over the naked scenes and "romantic scenes". Can someone just make a clean good movie or TV show? In the process of feeding, I got cut on the arm. Annie & TC were the first ones back here, Annie is now an RN, and she asked what cut me and was it clean. Well it is in an old Brooder, rusty wire, and that is covered with chick poop, so probably not. Then Denise came in and started on how I could catch something bad from the filth. I dropped the bomb I had also gone into the big Garage and put the car parts up I had ordered. It is full of black mold so probably not a good decision. Funny what boredom will do.
The thing I find oddest is that I have now had four chemo treatments, I take one every Wednesday and so there are just two left and while I don't feel great I don't feel like I did with the Throat cancer chemo of 2009. I did notice today that my skin color has got that "chemo color". There is one more thing that has happened that is new, I get cramps and not like usual cramps. They are more like Spasams where the muscle gets hard as a rock and you can feel it by the touch, see it too as it balls up. These hurt bad.
I missed my Aunt's funeral, the last of eight people that raised me. I missed seeing some of my cousins, Dorothy's children, that were like brothers and sisters to me, some I will probably not get to see again. I went by early at the Funeral Home to pay my respects before the crowd came in. I think that is one of the worst things about cancer, the alienation. The other thing is you feel so bad sometimes it makes you want to lash out at others, and that is just not acceptable.
There is a man and his wife today, we made friends a couple of days ago. I am not sure his age but I'm going out on a limb here and say the 60s. His son is building him a 37 hot rod and from the picture looks good. He has small cell lung cancer. He and his wife are very upbeat, friendly, and positive. Today... not so much as his news was weighing heavily. They told him they can slow it down but they can't cure or remiss it. I told him about Charlie and how he has small cell lung cancer too, had it for about four or five years. When I was leaving to come over he was weed eating his yard. This seemed to lift the world off his shoulders and his wife smiled and said: "I told you so". What I had told them was the truth, what I didn't was I can't figure out how Charlie can do it.
Back to the Kidneys, I drank a Dr.Pepper while chemo was going on and afterward, no water, no Gatorade... and that was a big mistake. I was excited about getting to drink a cold Dr.Pepper and should have been more excited to have some common sense and drink water, Gatorade, and Tea. As yesterday went along I drank tons of water and Gatorade, not to mention Tea Denise brewed. This has turned the tides so to speak. At one time yesterday, I sat for about 30 minutes crunched over the trash can waiting to toss my food up. After that eased off it left me weak and tired, dozing off a few times. My sleep though comes in spurts these days.
I went to the Brooder room and fed the cats then decided I'd feed the 2 Brooders of chicks. I had washed the dishes and watched some TV, then boredom set in. There just ain't much good to watch these days I'm over the F-bomb and other colorful words being used, over the naked scenes and "romantic scenes". Can someone just make a clean good movie or TV show? In the process of feeding, I got cut on the arm. Annie & TC were the first ones back here, Annie is now an RN, and she asked what cut me and was it clean. Well it is in an old Brooder, rusty wire, and that is covered with chick poop, so probably not. Then Denise came in and started on how I could catch something bad from the filth. I dropped the bomb I had also gone into the big Garage and put the car parts up I had ordered. It is full of black mold so probably not a good decision. Funny what boredom will do.
The thing I find oddest is that I have now had four chemo treatments, I take one every Wednesday and so there are just two left and while I don't feel great I don't feel like I did with the Throat cancer chemo of 2009. I did notice today that my skin color has got that "chemo color". There is one more thing that has happened that is new, I get cramps and not like usual cramps. They are more like Spasams where the muscle gets hard as a rock and you can feel it by the touch, see it too as it balls up. These hurt bad.
I missed my Aunt's funeral, the last of eight people that raised me. I missed seeing some of my cousins, Dorothy's children, that were like brothers and sisters to me, some I will probably not get to see again. I went by early at the Funeral Home to pay my respects before the crowd came in. I think that is one of the worst things about cancer, the alienation. The other thing is you feel so bad sometimes it makes you want to lash out at others, and that is just not acceptable.
There is a man and his wife today, we made friends a couple of days ago. I am not sure his age but I'm going out on a limb here and say the 60s. His son is building him a 37 hot rod and from the picture looks good. He has small cell lung cancer. He and his wife are very upbeat, friendly, and positive. Today... not so much as his news was weighing heavily. They told him they can slow it down but they can't cure or remiss it. I told him about Charlie and how he has small cell lung cancer too, had it for about four or five years. When I was leaving to come over he was weed eating his yard. This seemed to lift the world off his shoulders and his wife smiled and said: "I told you so". What I had told them was the truth, what I didn't was I can't figure out how Charlie can do it.
