Saturday, May 17, 2014

Happy Birthday Denise

Happy Birthday Denise. 

I love you.

Tuesday, May 13, 2014


  My blood work came back a while ago, I kinda forgot about posting again, should have already done that. I am at the top of normal, right on the borderline of being Diabetic. Prednisone is one of those things that sometimes has the side effect of becoming Diabetic, probably this weight I've gained has a lot to do with it too. :)  I gotta lose some weight. I constantly have to have fluid with the burnt up Saliva Glands (but one works a little), but I need to do something besides Mt Dew. I'm hoping that this summer I can tolerate some garden time and start back taking water again. My Thyroid levels are good, so that medicine is the correct amount. Dr Rathfoot done an excellent job on dosage when it finally gave out. Next month I will start again the follow-ups and I guess we will discuss surgery at that point.

  I still am struggling with mom's affairs. I hired Kelly Hinsley to probate the estate and his secretary Kerri does an excellent job. I am a fish out of water and at times I get a little urked at the way things are done legally, but I do them. So far I have stood my ground on a few things like her cars. The Will says they all come to me but she asked that I give Misty her Mountaineer and Megan her Mustang, and that is exactly what I intend on doing. Her bills far exceed her insurance but I intend on seeing they are paid and not by selling the cars like some have suggested. The stuff she asked that someone get I have followed her wishes. It is still so hard to go inside for any length of time. I gave away the food she had and the equipment that Hospice left, and some things the family asked for. I know all things material here are moth and rust, that is, falls prey to one of the other... but they meant something to them.

 I have found a way to sleep a little. In the change of seasons, especially before a rain, I hurt. Shoulders, knees, and neck, sometimes just all my joints. Some due to a mild arthritis left behind years ago from the Lymes Disease, mostly though from the injuries. I take 2 Advil or Tylenol PM pills, a blow dryer, 2 pillows, and a body pillow. I head for the floor and sleep there. I don't know what, how, or why, but it helps. If I can get 5 hours sleep that helps a lot. I have a long tubing for the O2 machine and take that to where I am. If I had known I was going to last this long I'd taken better care of myself, lol.

Wednesday, May 7, 2014


   I haven't published in quite a while, well, actually haven't written much lately. I've spent some time on Pintrest, making some pins and browsing. I've actually watched more TV than I usually do. I don't want to make that a habit but it kind of takes my mind off things somewhat, but that is what TV does. Usually when I hurt of think I work, only these days that don't work either. This last yeast infection has went on for weeks and I stay tired from the sleep apnea, or who knows, maybe the weight gain.

  We put a garden out this year, but a small one, still bigger than last years which were just a few peppers and garlic. It got in the high 80s today and already that closed my throat off, so we shall see how this small one goes. With Misty and the kids gone, Annie gone, mom and dad gone... well there just isn't reason to put out a lot. Some of it may be depression, I catch myself starting to call mom at night and through the day, even catch myself heading up there. It all seems, well, strange and empty. Already I have people asking to buy this or that, God forgive me but I resent it. None of that stuff means nothing and yet I can't yet bring myself to touch it, save for the stuff the kids want and the stuff that could be needed by others that I gave to the Senior Center. I went by the Lawyer who is probating the estate today. I hired him for his honesty and intelligence, hopefully he will listen to what I intend on doing though. I get that sometimes, people mistake my niceness for weakness, by the time they figure out the two are very different it usually is a bit late.

  So I went yesterday to get blood work ran, the blood work that I was suppose to have done before mom went down hill. I took Megan to have her blood work run for her Thyroid levels to be checked and Kim at Dr Schindler's office remembered and reminded me about it. Megan's had to be increased but mine aren't back in yet. Next month starts the follow-up visits and possible surgery. I will not turn the surgery down this time if it will get me off the Prednisone. I always fear getting another hole added in my throat when I awake, I do not fear not awakening.

  Megan did get a job and she loves it. Gordon hired her to make sandwiches and stock at his store at Easy In Market. They have been good to her. Gordon talked with me before he hired her to make sure what I thought. He knew full on that Megan's hearing isn't good but he said he thought she could do the job, and I agreed. Megan has worked out great they said, she works hard, friendly, and learns fast. She now sees that the world isn't the same as it was in high school, where she was told what she couldn't do. She has discovered that out here she is no longer treated as an outcast or teased about her hearing. Megan finally sees what I always told her, nobody notices someone's deficits because we all have something we're lacking on. Most people are just trying to get from one day to the next as best they can.