Tuesday, June 1, 2010


HBOT went hard today, chest pressure and nausea today. Tonight though no blood in the right ear as like last night so maybe the bleeding has stopped. I'm still having some pain from it though. I haven't mentioned it. I figure one throat and two ears... so I have a spare.

The neuropathy takes a break during the day but comes back in the evening to let me know it is still there and by nightfall, I am in misery. Hot baths see to effect it somewhat for a little while. I read about some kind of OTC drops to place on them to help tolerate the pain. I think I will try that.

The balance seems to be getting worse. Megan caught me twice today and kept me from falling. Once in the carport and once on the back sidewalk. I am lucky she was there. Megan has become my help, my extension of accomplishing things I once deemed small jobs.

My voice came back to me over the holiday but it didn't last long, it has stayed better than it has in a while.

Last night a storm took out the power so tonight I got on here to answer one email and post this. It is late.

There is a change inside of me, one in which I really don't care for. Those who have read this from the beginning have read some of the horrors that one faces, the Hell on earth that this stuff brings. Yet even with that, I cannot accurately describe it well enough for someone that hasn't underwent this to have empathy, sympathy maybe, just not empathy. I guess that is why two survivors, if they can be called that, talk more openly and freely. During that time one faces so, so very many things. The big issues we see and while we need help, even if we don't ask for it, we see them. It is the small issues though in which one doesn't see that causes falls. Ones that others see we are heading for yet remain silent to the person going through it. They often serve as a smaller thing themselves either knowing or no knowing, something to trip on.

There are those that shine out like stars for us guiding the way. Those that stand as silhouettes merely watching but seldom acting. Then there are those that simply add to the intensity of the pain. I'm not sure they always mean too. Those see us still breathing and think we are ok, we've made it because we're unhooked from all the wires while we attempt to regain what we were once....or just a part of what we once were. Ones ends up remembering who was what during it all and reconfigures the value or lack of value and bases others as they have based them.