Wednesday, December 9, 2009

In honor of a friend I made I didn't know her name

  Today was her last day for chemo too. I don't know this young ladies name, but I know her spirit, it shined through her eyes. She was many a time an inspiration to us all in there. When I awoke she was gone and Denise said this was her last day. The Staff sung Happy Birthday to her, that is what had awakened me and so I told her congratulations on  this being her last treatment and her birthday as well. She smiled and said thank you, encouraged me, and wished us well.

  It wasn't until after she had gone that my wife told me she was stage 4 and it was in her bones. This was just buying her time. Her boyfriend also had cancer but I ever heard what kind of cancer or what stage. You would have not know that, nor would I if she thought it would make us sad. She gave forth a ray of hope and though we never spoke about it, I'm sure from her thankfulness for each day and lack of fear of death, she knows this video.

  In her honor I found this video of a song that says it all. Hopefully the two people who created this will not mind me placing this in her honor.

Chemo 4

  We met with Panella last week instead of today as he had a convention or something to attend. He mused over a few things in the charts and talked about changing a few things to combat my bodies rejection to the Taxitere (probably misspelled). I had a lot of people tell me they were praying for me, and they were heard. This was the most painless ans easiest of the chemo treatments. I'm not sure what the next few days will bring but as for this one day... it worked, and that is what counts... this day. Tomorrow is long away and hope for a better tomorrow is made Today. A good Tomorrow is made by a good Today.

  Unless I have to take a break over the next 20 radiation sessions, that was to be the last chemo treatment. Will I make it through who knows, but I will try.

  My blood work was done again and it wasn't bad but not good either. The treatments have taken their toll and opened me up for easy infections, but that is common I think. It is yet another hill to climb, but that is part of the whole thing and part of life isn't it. It's not battles that determine a person but what that person does in the battles. There are many times now that I have fallen, and that is ok for it isn't the person who falls or the numbers of times they fall but rather how many times and how they get back up. I think it also allows others to grow if they chose for it doesn't take a great person to point to the one fallen, but rather it does make a great person to care enough to reach out and extend their hand to help the fallen person. God knows I wouldn't have picked the battles I have fought but at the same time I would not want to see someone else fighting it, yet there are so many that fight the same battles and worse.

This blog has quite a few readers, and it is my prayer that it helps them, even if just one, it is worth it. I don't think the staff at any of the doctor's offices read or even know about it, but if they do...  Please know how grateful I and my family are to have and sill are, blessed with such great people working on me. From the doctors, nurses, receptionists, the janitors, and those that come around offering blankets, ice cream, drinks, parking lots attendants, and those that I may not see... I thank you. I know we haven't won this battle yet, but you have made it possible for me and my family to fight and know we are being helped by great people. Please know that. And should we not win this battle, we will have won the war for this life hangs by a thread and is not what we're born for. You all have made this so much more easier and gave me courage. I noticed when my body had a reaction the past to the drugs, you looked at me with compassionate, caring, scared eyes. It let me know that God had surrounded me not with good people but with great people working on this hill to climb, and that kept peace and hope inside. .

   I stayed drugged out most of the day, it was after 1pm that I awoke, other than bathroom breaks and once to eat. Today has been a long day starting with radiation at 7:45am and then doing chemo until after 3 pm, but it has been a good day. So tonight, with a dry, sore throat I wanted to thank all the great people who have worked on and with me at UT Cancer center. Thank you also to all the family, friends (both know & unknown), for your prayers. A saw something I really liked on a video, it says:

P.U.S.H.  Pray Until Something Happens