Tuesday, December 8, 2009


  Radiation went excellent. I still have to use the cocktail but it works. Today I met with Green. We discussed the left shoulder and we will have an X-Ray of it if it is no better sometime next week. I wasn't exactly thinking about what comes after tomorrow... but maybe this one will be better or at least shorter in duration of sickness.   He asked how I was doing and I said fine and smiled ad said, We're half way there now, only 15 more left! Then the bubble popped, he said there were 20 left. I have no idea why 5 more have been added. Panella said last week if I have to take a break that there might have to be a smaller dose of chemo, I pray not.

  I dread tomorrow and the next few days. The ladies in the "Chemo Hut" are great, actually the whole staff there are great, it's the actual treatment that I'm not crazy about, lol. The chairs are comfortable. There are small TV's and we can bring our laptops but it is a long setting spell. Since my body has rejected the Taxitere (probably misspelled) every time, Panella has added more meds to counter it. When I ate tonight I ate something that will be easily thrown up, lol. Trust me on this one, Tacos and Pizza are two things you don't want to taste again.

  I went to the office today to check on a deal, mostly though to update the scrolling marquee. It now says Merry Christmas. I wasn't sure if I would be well enough in time, I missed putting up Happy Thanksgiving. All kinds of stuff went through my head late tonight. I had the septic tank pumped Monday, that is took care of. Paid sears off. Traded a monitor for another computer and hooked it up in the Sunroom, why I have no idea, lol. Then just about 30 minutes ago it hit me. I had not watered the plants in the Sunroom. What was I thinking.

  I talked with friends on the web and was glad to hear from my friend Sally. I was worried since I didn't get an email from her last night. I was visited by an old high school friend Roger Byrd. It isn't surprising that he turned into a good man, he was a good boy in school.We had auto mechanics together. That was the longest we've talked in years and one of the few times we've seen each other over the 30 year span. A very enjoyably evening.

  Now I'm staying up late tonight so that fatigue will bring me calmer tomorrow. I don't sit well for too long. We start with radiation at 7:45am and then Chemo begins at 8am. Maybe that will get us done starting that early by 3 or 4 pm. That day should be ok, it's usually the night or the next day it starts.

  I said it once to Panella and it still holds true. I do not ask why me. I don't like that this has happened but I don't ask why me for a couple of reasons. I smoked cigarettes heavily and drank Dr Pepper. I ate greasy and spicy food knowing I had Acid Reflux badly. That is part of the reason I never have asked why me. The other reason is as painful as this has been, I know of nobody I dislike enough to wish it on. So then the question becomes Why not Me?