Wednesday, June 30, 2010


  HBOT went well despite I am feeling poorly still. The Colonel got sick today but almost made it through it. I have once again, this time stepping it up, had pain in my joints, lightheaded, an d soft bowels with fresh blood in the once again.

  My intentions were to pick beans but that didn't happen. The virus that was on the computer was one thing I got fixed, but in the 20 minutes to run it I fell asleep and slept until Charlie called. This has to stop. I slept the whole day away and got nothing done. I'm not sleepy tonight  yet it takes all my energy just to type this in. Twice I have had to take something for break through pain, and I'm about to do it again. On the bright side, my computer is fixed, lol.

  Happy Birthday Misty... big 31!


Monday, June 28, 2010


I am a bit late logging in, I had to use IE instead of Firefox since Firefox wouldn't log into the account for some reason.

  I hit a heavy fatigue after starting out so well. I even fell asleep in the tub, lol. I haven't had to use anything though for break through pain, already I am pretty much use to it after a few days. The next step will be the final one though, can't wait. My neuropathy is worse tonight after a calm morning.

My voice started weak this morning but it is a little better tonight. That is the norm though.

  Happy birthday Dale, Dennis, & Debbie. Glad you all hit 50 before I did, lol.

Sunday, June 27, 2010


Yesterday was a day of pretty much sleep. I did wake up and maintained a decent voice for the first time in a long time, but it didn't last long after eating a spicy whatever. Today has been a day of laying around... just no energy.

Friday, June 25, 2010


After another pretty much sleepless night Denise woke me up for HBOT this morning. My throat had swollen enough to block taking my pills as usual only now I have this rush of pain in as my patch has been cut in half. This makes it dangerous enough to take all the regular meds but for some reason the Lortab will not go down, so I measure out about 10mg of liquid Morphine. One would think this is a large amount and indeed it probably is but that makes the pain tolerable. My voice was weak and painful.

HBOT went well but it wasn't until afterward that I regained a partial voice, only to be gone in a few hours. The pain slowly edged up again but rather than take another dose I just sat and turned on the TV. I decided that was safer after going to the tomato garden to get Misty some Tommie Toes and Matt some regular tomatoes and spent 10-15 minutes wondering where I was passing out at after I fell. I eventually came to the conclusion that I couldn't direct where I would be or how long it would be before anybody found me. I did have to wait while the world spun around. This was looong after the booster had expired and the pain was back. That is when TV looked pretty good. I eventually made my rounds with the veges to them and Charlie before I stopped though. I stayed there until Denise came home.

we went to Walmart to exchange the weedeater she had bought, they didn't do it even though the sales lady said with additional insurance it would be no problem if anything happened to it. Lessen learned, do not buy Walmart's insurance plan... it is a joke at best, a crime at worse. I did take 10mg to be able to tolerate going there and semi-speaking.

Tonight, after more TV junk, I will take 10mg to sleep earlier, maybe. I may have to start out wit it tomorrow and I hate to take it but 2-3 hours sleep a night just ain't cuttin it. I believe this has happened on each step down. Thanks to Kim, each step has been less severe... they could have been worse. Within a few days my body should get use to the lack of it and advance in pain.

Thursday, June 24, 2010


HBOT went well today despite a rough nite of sleeping. I slept everywhere, lol. I woke up once because I crashed into the closet, once into the door, man did those hurt. I ended up this morning with Denise waking me up in my recliner and my right shoulder killing me where I must have slept on it wrong. In a recliner??? John dove with us this morning. Did I spell that right?

I'm at 12mg now and tonight I had to take extra before bed, the pain level went up. I done a lot of talking today. I think I'll do just fine, I just need to get adjusted to this.

My after treatment nap didn't work out too well, actually it didn't happen. I move so slow and I am so behind that before I know it it's bedtime. Have you ever been so behind that it looks like you are ahead, lol. Before my friends ask, it is nothing that is pressing and I do appreciate the offers of help. I have to push myself so that maybe I can rebuild.

Missy, the way the dives work is the Chamber holds 10 people at a time with very comfortable seats and even a TV. It is usually too loud in there to hear so closed caption is used along with audio. We call it diving. Before the dive begins, while we are in the waiting room either and usually as a team Chad, John, or Gary will take each person's blood pressure, temperature, and have a series of questions they ask and then we sign the form. For those that are Diabetic they take a reading by sticking the finger. We are all clothed in scrubs and no metal, glasses if not titanium can be worn, mine are titanium which heat up, and no shoes. We load in the Chamber. The Chamber is pressurized slowly until you at 45 ft of pressure. Like diving 45 ft below the water, henceforth the term Diving. They place two foam pads to take pressure off your legs and feet. Blankets are distributed and they cover up up if you want them like in the Chemo Hut, except the Chemo Hut's were warmed up in a dryer first. They pass out water. Then they had the bottom portions of a hood that fit with latex sealing your neck they put on and attach the air lines, 2, to the bottom of the ring. Once pressure is stabilized a plastic hood is placed over and snaps to the ring and the O2 is turned on inflating it. We look like those bobble head dolls, lol. Each dive is about 2 hours give or take and nobody is compromised, anything goes wrong or even remotely looks like it and the dive stops. After we reach pressurization if anything goes wrong they can depressurize you in the decompression chamber pretty fast, but when you enter Dr Downing is already there waiting for you to enter. The EMT takes care of you until the decompression chamber is pressurized for you to enter. In my case that day Chad, GG's cousin.

There is a small room attached that is an emergency decompression chamber and the the observation room on the other side of it where monitors, cameras, and audio are ran. We are accompanied by one of the EMTs (John, Gary, Chad). They constantly watch and assist and monitor everybody and another EMT, plus either Dr Downing and a lot of times Sherry is in the observation room watching and listening as well, if her other duties are fulfilled. Nothing gets by these people. I would say that ICU or in my case CCU is not watched over as well as here. They pull off a treatment like it is a piece of cake... smooth. They are probably the best team I have ever seen in action. It is nothing short of amazing how observant and compassionate they are, but funny and smart at the same time.

They would have to drug me even more than when I took radiation in one of the single person chambers, probably knock me out, lol. Even though I am extremely claustrophobic, I seldom have a problem with it. The Bulkhead Door seals and still there is plenty of room in there. It almost looks like Portholes in places, but they are fake ones, lol. They do an early dive and a midday dive.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010


HBOT went decent today with the 2 additional breaks. I got a little queezy at first but it helped. John was back today, or at least it is the first time I saw him in a while. John is an interesting fellow too. Very compassionate, knowledgeable, and without question where God wanted him to be. He has a big heart like the rest of the crew there at HBOT. These people do nothing short of miracles there.

I intended on getting home and crashing after me and Charlie ate at Arby's, but it wasn't to be. I stayed outside all day, taking only small breaks in the heat. Mark raked and baled the hay, we got 12 rolls and a baby. I weeded the garden a little and attempted to pick green beans but it didn't work well, too hot and too little balance. I think I got some sun on my neck. I must have sweated off the sun block. I got the hay put up and played with the 78 Camaro a little and done trivial stuff. Bush hogged around the barn and garden. Took Linda (neighbor) some Crooked Neck squash.

I still haven't gotten my system in line yet, not sure why. My throat is feeling much better again. I was and am just so tired. I must have went out like a light at the desk for a few hours. The neuropathy was horrible but tonight I feel normal.

Today I dropped to a 12 mg patch. For the transition I left the old one on and will until tomorrow. After that box is gone I will be free of the pain patches. Thank God.

It has been a good day overall.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010


Another day's end. Today went shaky at first at HBOT but then calmed down. Nothing major happened. My neuropathy is bad, my hair is good and my toe nails are getting better. Seriously, thank you to Chad, Gary, Downing, & Sherry for making this a successful therapy today.

I saw bye-bye to Elvetta today and wish her all the good things life has to offer. I will miss her and Dennis very much. Good people.

Monday, June 21, 2010


I started out rough but leveled off by early morning. I skipped HBOT today, wanting to make sure that I could actually accomplish it. Tomorrow we're back on again. I worked outside in the green bean garden and around the house. I really don't get much done, nothing like I once did, but a lot for these days.

I read the Parade insert tonight, part of it anyways. It dealt with Chemo Brain, chronic fatigue, pain, anxiety, depression, and more from the treatments for cancer. The aftermath if one will. Suddenly I don't feel like the Lone Ranger anymore, lol. Actually I have Sally I talk with who has been there, done that, and has the T Shirt. She has my greatest respect and admiration.

Tonight I am worn out... feels good. This is I think day 2 of my 25mg patch and then we head down to 12.5 (thanks for the help on that Kim), then to none. I cherish the day when I will not have to take anything, yet now that day seems so far and it may be a bit much to ask for.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Happy Father's Day

  I woke up still sick but Denise brought out a good observation yesterday. perhaps it was the extra stomach pill that rathfoot prescribed, so we dropped it. I again took laxatives and today things slowly started working again, but my stomach is still raging. I've remained awake today but very, very weak, so I've decided not to do HBOT tomorrow just in case. My neuropathy hasn't eased even without me on my feet as much.

  Mom fixed supper as usual on Father's Day but it was a sad and hollow feast. Mom cooked well as usual but without dad there it was both strange and sad. Who would have ever thought that last year would have been the last time? The up side was the cards I received from mom, Denise, Misty, and Megan. I really didn't expect one from Annie so that isn't a big deal.

  I had a lot of time to think. To reflect back and really deep think about how blessed I've been. I collect things, always have and I form habits very easily. That is one reason I quit drinking when I was a teenager, plus BB didn't drink and he was kid of like the elder of our gang. Dad didn't drink but my real dad did, he quit though before he died. I really don't know of anything dad collected which always made gift buying hard. He seldom if even asked for or wanted anything but was pleased with just a card or whatever you got him. Instead he collected only a few things as I reflect back, things I have often overlooked. He collected and distributed love, kindness, compassion, and gentleness... as well as his skills to everybody he knew. When I was a kid I gripped about working with him on building, plumbing, and all sorts of things, due in part because he was a perfectionist. It was later, much later, that I realize how vital this information is.

  Here is a man that went through Hell in WW2 as a medic, something I would come to admire later on in life. My strongest memories were of us giving out shoes to children at schools that couldn't afford them. He would let me take a day or two off school to go with him. I'm not even sure if Masons do that these days. He gave of all that asked, being even mindful that his family had first. I'm not sure if he even counted himself in the picture. Truly the world has suffered a great loss and Heaven a great gain.

  I did watch the news, if it can be called that, lol. Dad, in his last years, watched it then came to me to ask about it. I tried to tell me that TV is for entertainment not knowledge, then preceded to tell the whole story. I studied that crap for over 5 years day and night. Now I look occasionally for my own sake, people are willingly ignorant and I have come to the realization that there is nothing can be done to change that. I was willingly ignorant for most of my life. Without that... nothing will get better, only worse. I do occasionally tell friends that ask. I usually go to and mull over what I want to know. Not once today did ABC tell that 2 days after the BP spill that they knew it would be in excess of 100,000 barrels of oil. Nor did they say that Goldman Sachs owned 44% of BP and sold they stock 1 week prior to the spill. Or that Haliberton invested in equipment to clean up an oil spill. Or that the CEO sold most of his stock 1 week prior to the spill. Maybe they all had a good fortune teller, lol. I also quit the Discovery Chanel for the same reason. The History Chanel is trying to finally be 1/2 way honest though.

  Going back though. I don't remember who it was, Daddy or Annie that said that men here are dads, we all have the same father which is in Heaven. Maybe it was Papa. To this dad I call nobody father except God and do not allow my kids to call me father.

   That has been my day, and with this I will place a video to all who are without their dads today.


Mercy Me Homesick with lyrics


Saturday, June 19, 2010


  I haven't been awake much today other than when Josh, Brandon, and Alex came back here. The only time I even went out was when Josh was telling me about his Cucumber plant, wanted to show it to me, then wanted to know if we could plant it. It was definitely a precious moment. We planted it by the tomato plants in the garden with the green beans. He says he is coming back here everyday to tend it. I hope and pray it does well.

  I've remained quiet and mostly asleep other than that. A lot of pain associated with this and fatigue. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Friday, June 18, 2010


 After a long night of waking up periodically with an upset stomach, tasting the watermelon over and over again, my throat was in rare form. I had a hard time taking the medications from the swelling and extreme pain. I couldn't get the Loratab down so I went once again for the liquid Morphine at about 12mgs. Me and Charlie stopped in at Hardees as usual and I ate the jelly biscuit... as usual. I fell asleep part of the way down to HBOT, man was I ever tired.

  Once we started the dive my stomach started to roll, but it seemed manageable. Not quite to the half way mark I had a problem so I asked Chad for a drink and to give me a couple of minutes without the hood. Now you would really really see how this therapy works and how they do it. There are cameras and microphones in the unit and one EMT person is inside with us, this time it was Chad, and outside the chamber the doctor and another EMT person is watching. Shortly after the break that Chad gave me I felt nauseous and I motioned for him to come over to me. I told him I was going to throw up and asked I there was something to do it in. Chad took off my hood and went to the back of the chamber to get it. I thought that it may be explosive at worse, sickening to the others at best so we went to the back of the chamber to set. We talked for a moment and then I felt it coming. Now after months of throwing up from chemo, I'm pretty good at controlling it within reason. Practice makes perfect, lol.

  Chad talked over the inside phone and filled Gary and Dr Downing in and Dr Downing went into a small decompression chamber between the observation/control center and the chamber. He pressurized quickly. Meanwhile Chad was going vital signs all of which were good, but they are that thorough. Downing was waiting in the decompression chamber for me and also check me as we decompressed, asking lots of questions like Chad did. After we decompressed and went into the observation/control room Gary also asked a lot of questions. Did I mention that all vitals are taken and questions asked even before each session? Sherry was also in the room as well. I am told that she is the one who pulls it all together. I told you I'd put you in here Sherry, lol. The only one not there today was John. All of the people there at HBOT are great and really care. I've had heart caths that aren't monitored as well, I'm not saying the heart caths weren't monitored well, they were. The whole staff at HBOT is exactly where God wants them to be. They operate as a complete team and as a family. My sessions had ended for the day which was embarrassing and sad but then again, the best thing to do given the circumstances. I restart next week. I went a bit farther into detail on this because I want people to know just how much goes into this. It is a complicated thing and ran extremely comfortable, safe, and professional.

  After we left I figured Charlie was hungry so we ate at Shoney's, convincing Charlie that all was well. I kept it down with little to no effort. I got some things cleaned up a little around the house and made my usual cucumber, tomato, and this time pepper pass then passed them out. Took ours and everybody elses trash off. Funny, after finally throwing up the pain went down to a tolerable level and even at times no pain. The Watermelon and Chicken Parmesan just didn't mix, Watermelon doesn't sit well on my stomach. I did eat light tonight, a grilled cheese sandwich. I'm still a bit weak and Denise want to cancel the bike ride tomorrow. I looked forward to riding with Richard & Missy and harassing Missy Shelton which turns 40! Ha, ha Missy, gotcha anyway, lol.

  I'm putting a picture of the HBOT again so one can get the feel of what and where it all took place. If you click on the image it will enlarge. This thing is great for radiation healing and Diabetes problems. It seems to also help my neuropathy and I'm sure there are many more things it will help. 


Thursday, June 17, 2010


  Well, we're back to normal things today. HBOT went rough today, I stayed sick the whole time. I popped a cap off eating my biscuit & jelly this morning. I can't help but wonder when all the residue will end from the radiation. I took care of it when we got home, Gorilla Glued it back on.

  I started this morning having to use some of the liquid Morphine, I couldn't get the pills swallowed from the swelling. The pain has raged again all day and when I got home I had to use it again. Then again before bedtime. I attempted to swallow a pill which lodged, so I was left with only the liquid. I ate some Watermelon earlier and still having reflux from it. Tonight my throat feels like it is closing off again. I got very, very little done today. This is the weakest I've been in a while and the third day of pain. The neuropathy has also raged. Hopefully tomorrow will be different... better.

  We have a new lady in HBOT, she has a brain tumor and a new guy coming tomorrow but I haven't heard what is wrong with him. Who would have ever thought oxygen would do such great things. I still remember Denise telling me when I used the oxygen to help me breath that it wasn't good for me to do that. Now I do therapy.

  Richard came by and got me hooked up to use acetylene, showed me how to use it. It has been since ninth grade since I used it. I've had the torch for quite a while now but never hooked it up. Other than that watering and picking a few cucumbers and squash and passing them out that was about it. Hopefully we will get to ride this weekend with them as Missy turns 40. These days though I cannot plan anything since I never know what tomorrow brings. The garden has become my escape these days, my source of enjoyment.   

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Follow-up with Dr Panella

Me and Denise went to my follow-up with Dr Panella today. It went well and Panella was more like the first visits when I went to see him. He explained that he wanted the swelling, redness, and irritation to be down before I have the CAT Scan done and that is the reason that he has prolonged having it ran. Two of the three are gone now, only the swelling remains. The date is now just before the next visit with Panella in August for the CAT Scan.

He also discussed the pain patch which we are getting rid of... thank God. I'm sure I'll feel more pain and that part I could do without but at the same time I still retain fear of the patch and getting hooked on anything. Kim had given me advice on how she steps people down and I relayed it to Panella which liked the idea. It is so much safer doing it the way she said. We will step down to 12.5 mg from the current 25 mg then stop. I know I will probably still need some pain meds but I hope to be able to tolerate the pain. I use to have a high threshold to pain and pray I still do. We shall see. He said that I should have more energy and stamina once I'm off these patches. I'd take some pain to have that, definitely a good swap.

Panella didn't mention my blood work, I wish he had, but Denise said if anything was wrong he would have mentioned it. All the doctors I have are straight forward and I thank God for them being that way. He listed to my chest and felt my throat and apparently it was ok. We discussed the HBOT and I described it to him, he was amazed. Usually Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy is done in a tube where you lay down by yourself in what looks like a coffin. This on hold 10 people, an EMT is with you and you set in a comfortable chair while watching a movie. I'm hoping and praying that Panella will remember this and refer people to Dr Downing at St Mary's. With all the radiation damaged people, burn people, and diabetes people, we don't need to lose such a wonderful machine.

Today has been a painful day, my throat is killing me. Yesterday and today I took additional pain medication for the overrun of pain. This is the second day of it. I think I messed it up while on vacation but it will straighten out. The swelling is such that it has made taking the pills all but impossible, drinking and eating is that way too. Maybe HBOT will help that out tomorrow. My neuropathy rages tonight and today as well. He wasn't sure how long that would last to the point of being debilitating but he hopes no longer than a year.

I couldn't help but stop in and say hi to the ladies at the Chemo Hut. They are wonderful. Only three were there but I got three hugs from them. It occurred to me while I was there how much God has blessed me. From Mike who draws my blood, the ladies in the Chemo Hut, Panella's personal nurse, Ruth, Doctors Panella, Rathfoot, Green, Downing, John, Chad, Gary, Sidney Boyd. Then the special people that have came in and also made a difference like Kim (I'll still gladly be your 1st patient if you even go out on your own)and Dr Huntsinger who stepped in and helped me once while Panella was out. My friends that have been the like Sally whom I talk with every night. She fights a battle with Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma herself. Sal who I usually talk with who fights his cancer battle. My wife and family who have been with me through thick and thick. Charlie who has and still does drive me to my treatments, he never once has complained about doing it. They both are so much support and great people. All my friends and family that have visited me and the churches that have had me on their prayer lists. Even the radio station I listen to has been there, 106.9 - The Light. I have been truly blessed. God has allowed me to reside in the company of and lean on the greatest people on earth. In no way am I deserving of such great and awesome company. I humbly bow my head many nights and thank Him for all of the people who have touched my life. Even if the CAT Scan shows I've failed... I've won. In no way would I have ever made it this far without all of them and especially God and Jesus.

  In a few short months from this to where I am today. I am truly blessed.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Dr Rathfoot follow-up 06-15-2010

Me and Denise went to Dr Rathfoot for a follow-up today. He scoped me again and felt of my glands and from observation he sees no cancer. We asked him about all the things lately that have gone wrong or seems not improved much. His response was that it would just take more time and told us he had a patient last week that lost his throat.

He looked and said that I am now out of the woods as far as removing my larynx... thank God. He said he wasn't sure if I would be able to keep it after the radiation damage and that it really didn't look too favorable but now that has all changed. The Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy has worked! He said the swelling really hasn't went down much but that the irritation and redness are gone. He has prescribed more HBOT to hopefully finish it up. He prescribed me Zantac or something like that to use with the Nexxum to help control the reflux. Panella's visit is tomorrow. It should be interesting.

We came home and I guess I overdone it a bit yesterday, I just couldn't get started today. The neuropathy seems to be easing off a bit but nowhere near enough. I walk like a duck. I did manage to get off my butt by evening and bushhog the field in front of the house and picked 16 cucumbers. I divided them up evenly between houses, each got 4. We had visitors tonight that I had not seen in many a year, his daughter I had never met. Now it is about bedtime.

Monday, June 14, 2010


HBOT went well today. I spoke some with the dr about what I am seeing like my toenails that were corns are growing back nails, but he says HBOT isn't responsible for that happening. The neuropathy seems to be better after HBOT which he said that they did take some credit for that happening, but mostly the throat damage from the radiation. That is the part that still needs a lot of improvement.

Tomorrow we go to Rathfoot and I'm sure he will scope my throat again, which I don't mind at all. I will have the nurse numb both sides this time though, lol. I will ask him about the polyps and if he is planning to surgically remove them. I'll also ask him about the ears and the blood that sometimes comes out of the right ear and the referred pain. There is also still yet a knot under my chin that concerns me.

Panella comes the next day and I will once again demand the CAT Scan... I, We, need to know and it has been long enough. Is it clan or not. This may end up my last visit to him as grow weary of his lack of attention.

I worked outside for several hours today. The energy the HBOT gives is excellent, but I'll pay tomorrow.

Sunday, June 13, 2010


We went to the beach for 5 days and then worked getting the garden back in shape when we got home the next 2 days. Today though I was down flat for most of the day from overdoing it.

It was nice to get away fr a week but really there is no get away except for not doing treatments for a week, which was nice. It did however tell me that all I had known was now a memory at worse, a goal to achieve at best. We had to find a hat and finally found what looked like a Crocodile Dundee hat. That in conjunction with 100 block and buying an umbrella that was SPF rated at 100% seemed to work. I felt a little foolish and probably looked that way too going into the ocean with my hat and white neck as well as sitting cautiously under the umbrella with the same look on. Needless to say that my trips into the ocean were few, brief, and in shallow water.

The neuropathy seemed to get a little better, but I haven't a clue why. Walking out into the water seemed to present it's own challenge, especially after I went in far enough that I couldn't see my feet. I rose to the challenge though and didn't fall down I must have looked drunk.

The ocean combined with the sun has some kind of healing properties and usually throws the Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma almost into remission. I actually needed this trip and it would not hurt to do two each year. This is the first time since all this began that it is back under control. We've discussed maybe doing it again this year but it all depends on the oil spill. It was rumored there that it would strike Myrtle Beach sometime in July. If it does then it is safe to say that the healing properties of the ocean will be gone.

Traffic was heavy there yet all the shops and decent restaurants complained that business sales were slow. There was a lot of cars there from Alabama. We didn't get our regular room at the Caravel, they tried to put us in an ocean view after we paid for ocean front, we've stayed there the last 5 years and they do us like this, so we got a refund. We ended up at a quaint, lovely motel in North Myrtle Beach own by a man and his wife. The size was comparable but it was all 1 big room with 2 of the hardest beds I've ever seem. Wifi was not offered. It was however clean and the closest to the actual beach we have stayed at... pretty nice. It was a quiet beach too, plenty of room. The life guards didn't try to root out those with their own umbrella like a Myrtle Beach.

I was impressed to see however that nobody was shopping with BP stations, then shocked to see at home people were. We vote with our dollars and when we purchase from evil companies we say to them "it is ok with me". Whatever happened to boycotts? There should also be a McDonalds and Disney boycott for the poison glasses, along with no China made junk. Instead of just griping about an injustice we should show our strength. That oil could have been drilled from a surface, those glasses made in America and probably even the movie for that matter... but it wasn't. These companies are worth a fortune yet the spend fortunes everyday so yea, they need our money. One can't do it alone but like a bee hive (for we are many), we can stop this from happening again. If we wait too late though...

I go this week to see Rathfoot and Panella. I look forward to Rathfoot but I'm about over Panella. It may be time to move on. I'm also wondering on the HBOT tomorrow, man it's getting costly.

At the beach I reached a deep level of depression after a few days. We always walked along the beach in the evening, long peaceful, sometimes romantic walks. despite the improvement down there I wasn't able to. We would often get into races, but that wasn't to be either. As I watched others from the balcony at first I smiled which later turned into a frown. Will I ever get to do that again with my beautiful wife? Will we all three ever get to race again? If only these people knew how lucky they are...if only I had known how lucky I was.

It made me work like crazy in the garden the next two days only to be slammed down for it this morning. On the bright side, later in the evening I gave my bike a bath and went around the block on her. I'm ready whenever Denise is to ride. My God what that does for my soul.

I'm still paying for some of the foods I ate and especially what I drank,,, Mt Dew. The bottled water all has something in them that makes my mouth dry. If we do get to go again I'm either taking our well water or English Mountain water, they both seems pure with nothing added. The crunchy food was my call, and not a good one.

Now we are back to the same old same old. Like I had to explain to Denise though, I hurt here and I hurt there too so it is not like a vacation.

Thursday, June 3, 2010


HBOT went well today despite I didn't get to sleep until about 2:30 am from the pain in my feet. Actually I done ok for a while after HBOT except for the neuropathy. My voice goes back and forth from bad to very good... strange. The pain is at about 1 and stays there, but I still have the 25mg patch. I see Panella and Rathfoot next week and we're hoping for good news and a CAT scan. It would be nice to know if it is all gone or if we're chasing our tail.

My energy level dropped fast so I didn't get much done and the steps I seem to be granted were fewer today until the intense pain set in. It was a day though to get caught up on email, kinda.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010


It has been a day today. I slept all the way to St Mary's after getting little sleep last night and fell asleep in the HBOT. I'm not sure what happened today, I awoke with little control over my body, shaking and having to have the hood pulled off for a little while to recover. It was weird. I have never lost control of my body as far as shaking or tremors goes. Luckily Chad got my hood off and within a few minutes I was recovered.

Today and tonight my neuropathy is raging, making me more of a cripple that someone who walks on their own power. My balance is still gone and I am in heavy fatigue still. The last few days I have spent more time either laying down and trying to get up than actually accomplishing anything. Me and Megan got the big tiller out but I wore down quickly after tilling just a small part around the cucumbers. Megan noticed the unsteady gate and I must have looked tired and kept telling me to stop and rest. The whole thing lasted about an hour and by then I had little choice but to take her advice. Within 30 minutes or less... I was asleep and slept until Denise came home. I've laid around ever since.

Last night was extremely stressful, undue stress and one which I will make sure that doesn't happen again. This may play or have played a part in today's but doesn't explain the last few days, hence my last post.

My voice came back for a day and even though it isn't good, it is better than it was. The pain in my throat has subsided and is at a manageable level while other parts are excruciating, mostly the feet. Not quite enough to do away with the patch just, yet but close. We're down to just body aches and this damn neuropathy now. I am so glad I got the handicapped plaque renewed... I'm needing it now. The fight is also in the feeling of hopelessness that this is all there is left in life. I would have rather died than to live like this.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010


HBOT went hard today, chest pressure and nausea today. Tonight though no blood in the right ear as like last night so maybe the bleeding has stopped. I'm still having some pain from it though. I haven't mentioned it. I figure one throat and two ears... so I have a spare.

The neuropathy takes a break during the day but comes back in the evening to let me know it is still there and by nightfall, I am in misery. Hot baths see to effect it somewhat for a little while. I read about some kind of OTC drops to place on them to help tolerate the pain. I think I will try that.

The balance seems to be getting worse. Megan caught me twice today and kept me from falling. Once in the carport and once on the back sidewalk. I am lucky she was there. Megan has become my help, my extension of accomplishing things I once deemed small jobs.

My voice came back to me over the holiday but it didn't last long, it has stayed better than it has in a while.

Last night a storm took out the power so tonight I got on here to answer one email and post this. It is late.

There is a change inside of me, one in which I really don't care for. Those who have read this from the beginning have read some of the horrors that one faces, the Hell on earth that this stuff brings. Yet even with that, I cannot accurately describe it well enough for someone that hasn't underwent this to have empathy, sympathy maybe, just not empathy. I guess that is why two survivors, if they can be called that, talk more openly and freely. During that time one faces so, so very many things. The big issues we see and while we need help, even if we don't ask for it, we see them. It is the small issues though in which one doesn't see that causes falls. Ones that others see we are heading for yet remain silent to the person going through it. They often serve as a smaller thing themselves either knowing or no knowing, something to trip on.

There are those that shine out like stars for us guiding the way. Those that stand as silhouettes merely watching but seldom acting. Then there are those that simply add to the intensity of the pain. I'm not sure they always mean too. Those see us still breathing and think we are ok, we've made it because we're unhooked from all the wires while we attempt to regain what we were once....or just a part of what we once were. Ones ends up remembering who was what during it all and reconfigures the value or lack of value and bases others as they have based them.