Thursday, August 1, 2013


  The hay is up and hopefully enough to last through the winter, 152 rolls all total. I broke the tractor again in the process though, one more thing to do... again. That is one worry off my mind and one less pressing thing so when Sept comes the surgery will be ok to do and next week or two getting the remaining teeth out and a plate made. I'm so past this hole in my jar and sticking the tooth back in each morning, plus getting sore. I've fought infections constantly from the tooth and the mold from the ground with all this rain. I had blood work done today to see if I am needing the Thyroid medicine yet. Given all this I'm in a bad and depressed mood.

  I promised to hold silent and thus far have, but this blog has always been a blessing and at times a place to refuge. I say stuff I would not otherwise say here. I have a big mouth but I actually say little of importance in person, and that is done purposefully. Tonight though I need to release, and so I shall, yet still holding back on some things. Mom has cancer, which is bad enough but having two myself now that in and of itself shouldn't bother me. I know most of the time it is treatable. She had a Hysterectomy back in the late winter at Ft Sanders by a Dr Morgan, and I use the title Dr extremely loosely, just as I omitted the word Hospital from Covenant Health Care, or lack there of. He said he "got it all", even though he had no PET Scans done before or after, said they were a waste of money. Things went sour and again she wanted me to remain silent, and so I have. Denise got her in with Dr Kilgore at UT after Morgan wanting to start Radiation Therapy, again with no PET Scan at his new building. When mom declined he even sent out a registered letter saying it would be dangerous if she doesn't start along with phone calls. Where were they radiating? How did they know where and how much to radiate? They didn't! May God forgive me but I have a searing hate developing for Morgan. Dress lightly, it will be warm where you go one day.

  So today mom was to start chemotherapy, except it didn't happen. When the blood work was draw it showed her white cells and Nutrifils were all but absent. Dr Kilgore said that it would probably kill her if she had it done within a week, and Radiation was off the table for now too. Her blood must be built up in order to withstand it and fast, the cancer is aggressive and in multiple places. Mom is scared and her first words were that it was a death sentence. It does seem a bit bleak yet I showed no fear to her and tried to give hope, after all, it is up to God to call the shots. Whatever the outcome His decisions are just, yet I pray for a little longer, provided quality of life is good. I think there is always hope. So there, I've relinquished my silence. We would appreciate your prayers for her. I have called a few family members to tell them the last week or two, some I reached and some not, but some read this blog... or at least they use to. If you want to get updates or details just call me, save one who has not returned my calls. I have a lot of confidence in UT, so if it is His will, it will be.