A Blog I hope that I keep up that will put perspective on just what I have experienced and what you can expect, God forbid, you should get it.
This Blog reads backwards from the most current to the beginning.
Mom has surgery on her cataracts today. All went well. Dr Lindsey was quite impressive. Mom said he said a prayer before surgery and I went in with her for the follow-up and when he was done he said a prayer with her and for her. That is something you just don't see enough.
The Llama that has been on vacation finally got back home on her own. She has traveled around the neighborhood and still not settled down enough to get near. Me and Megan fixed the fence, took the tractor and shoved the 70 + ft tall fallen tree back over the line where it came from. I took Big Ugly and got a new gate at TSC, then took dad's truck and got 2 rolls of wire while they were on sale.
Now with the Llama comes a weird tale. She stayed in the field with the cows after an unsuccessful attend by a Llama Assoc to catch her. I had signed papers saying that if they catch her they could have her. I didn't want to see her get hurt or cause hurt to someone. She has never been tamed so she will not come to calling her. Anyway, don't ask me why but those nights that I quit breathing, sometimes weird things happen. I noticed that she wasn't in the field with the cows, so me and Megan tracked her to the woods that joins us on this side of the road. She wouldn't go through the electric fence the neighbor has up. I went back later just before dark and heard a hoot owl hoot, a sign of death. I worried about her making another journey. That night I could have swore that Denise said not to fear, the Llama was safe and back in the field eating hay with the Donkeys. I saw somebody tell me just to look at the hay and it seemed so real. I asked Denise if she told me that, she said no. A few hours later I started to leave and remembering what I was told, I looked toward the hay. No Donkeys near, but there with the sheep and goats stood the Llama eating the hay. Strange.
Strangest thing now, happened about three times in the last few days. With or without O2 at night, I wake up freezing, and I mean freezing. The only time I've ever experienced this kind and depth of cold was when the Angioplasty collapsed the night I had my heart attack. All three times I took a blow dryer and made it blow under the covers, and it took everything I had to get it and hook it all up. It's an unnatural cold that I can't explain. It happened twice while sleeping on the couch with no O2, (knees ache from coming rain), and so I went to the bed the next night with O2, and it happened even with the O2. It's not a feeling that I like but at the same time it is becoming too familiar. This is like the cold of death feeling. That doesn't scare me but I'm not real fond of waking up and battling it either. I dare not mentioning it to the doctors.
Nothing really has changed since my post health wise. I'm holding my own still. I have found out though that cold weather is like hot weather, not too easy to breathe in. Everybody caught a cold and it was bad. I caught a touch of it but for all the negative for not having Saliva Glands that work one benefit, it helps stay the cold up stairs. :) Swallowing is still a chore and the smaller the particle the easier to get choked, so the Predisone is a blast. I'm down to 7 pills in the morning, 2 mid day, 6 at night... none are addictive. 3 of those have to do with the heart and BP.
Megan has a boy friend that has come over a couple of times, he seems nice. He is intelligent, a history buff, has an expanded vocabulary, Respectful, kind, humble... but most of all, he is gentle with Megan. I worry though that he may not have enough to eat. His cars power steering is out and I told him we'd fix it but he hasn't come back this week since Megan is away at Denise's mom and dad. She is suppose to come home tomorrow. The dogs outside are lost, the cats are lost, Ms Hen and the rest are lost (she sneaks and tosses them dog food), peacocks seem a bit lost, and we definitely are. I went to feed the cows and the neighbor's dog was lost, even the cows looked for her. Misty has my twisted sense of humor and Megan my come what may attitude. Annie has Denise's quick temper and independence.
Last week I fixed the power steering on the tractor. We've 32 cows and calves now, last I checked, more to be born yet. I worked on Big Ugly some. I think it needs a priest cause I'm pretty sure it's possessed. If it ain't I've cussed it enough to be, lol. I need it to go to TSC and get a new gate and T-Posts while they're on sale. If it ever dries up we're setting a new gate and fence by the hay lot. Installed an electric fence, then tested it on puppy, lol. She was born in March 2011 and is way over 100lbs and stands on her hind legs about 6 feet tall, hence the need to go around the chain link fence with electric since she jumps it. It worked. :)
So tomorrow we go Christmas shopping, I have mine pretty much all done. I miss dad. He was the hardest besides Denise to buy for. Neither of them are material at all. Me, I have a list, and come Christmas dinner when what is left of us is standing and sitting around there eating together, that is my list.
So if I don't post before Christmas, Merry Christmas.
Well, time for an update. Denise, Megan, and mom have been real sick, mom is coughing up blood now plus blowing it out of her sinuses. Misty is trying to catch it too, or should I say trying to avoid it. I've caught a dose of it, especially the intestinal thing and aches. It seems though to stay in the sinus region and I may have figured out why. The lack of working Saliva glads keep my mouth dry and the drainage seems to be stopping there. Yea I know, gross.
Tomorrow Misty, Matt, and Josh are getting Baptized. We will attend and who knows, maybe we've found a church after all these years, but we shall see.
The Llama is still out and we are still unable to catch her. She is hanging out at the Police Chief's house. His wife called the Humane Society who in turn called a Llama Society who says they can catch her if I give her to them. I agreed to do that. I don't want her getting hurt or causing someone to get hurt, plus she needs to be with her own kind.
Me and Denise went to Knoxville again today and got some of the doors we were talking about getting. They didn't have all the sizes we need so we will have to go back again for the last three. On the way down we finished up Misty's Christmas present. If you read this kid, I ain't tellin' you exactly what this piece is, but it is from the Lodge Store in Sevierville. Denise also picked up a Pizza Pan, Bread Pan, and a deep pot while we were there. Now time for a little funny. It is so hard to find affordable cookware that is safe. Here is a bit of info. Revere sells a stainless steel with a copper bottom. Lodge is the ONLY manufacturer that makes Cast Iron Cookware in the USA. Mercola has some good cookware. You can cook on a glasstop range with good cast iron cookware and even can with a certain model of Presto Canner. Aluminum is bad, clad of not. Nonstick doesn't have to scratch to be toxic, the fumes it puts off is. Porcelain Lodge Cookware is the only one I know of that is made right here in the USA. Actually it's made in Tennessee.
While we were there at the Lodge Cookware Store, a nice young man came up to us as we were standing at the big thing where the Handle Holders were. Those familiar with Cast Iron Cookware know they do get hot to touch and the larger skillets and pans have a second handle to grab onto at the opposite end shaped like a crescent moon. He asked if he could help us as I had just handed Denise the Crescent moon shaped holder to check out. She handed it back to me. The young man asked if I knew what they were for. I opened it up, peered inside of it, looked back at him, raising it up to my nose and said, "To blow your nose in". He smiled and said, "No sir, it is for the small grab handle on the other end of some of the cookware". I looked back at the holder, looked at Denise then back again at the holder and said, "See, I told you it was not to blow your nose in." The smile came off his face and he slowly backed up and begin to leave. I said, "Here, you wanna see?" He made a point to be wherever we weren't the rest of the time we were in there. :) God help me, I love doing stuff like that, lol.
Been a week. They thought Denise's dad had a stroke but a check and that wasn't why he suddenly passed out. It's looking more like heart. He is back home now and resting well.
I forgot to go get a check-up on my finger this week. It don't bend all the way yet and still large, but it's there. :)
Rathfoot ordered a pulse ox check, so I slept with a monitor on my finger. Bad news is, at sometimes during the night I must have decided to sleep on the couch. That means I unhooked from the O2, which actually happens quite frequently. I'm sure my levels will be low. For the most part I think I do feel a little better when I keep it on a while.
One of the two teeth came out, post and all. Morristown Dental Center got me right in and placed it back. I now have a mold that I do a 10 minutes Fluoride treatment with every night.
Me and Megan fed the cows, another calf born. So far, that makes six this year. No Buzzards this time again. It might be that we run them off and it might be the neighbor's dog. He looks for us to feed and is right there. He don't bother anything, but I call him cow dawg because he loves to drive the cows. Today somebody else had a Boxer get loose. That dog was goofy and got too close to a newborn, until mom chased him off. He wasn't trying to hurt it, just curious. It's turned colder than a Well Digger's butt these last few days.
Happy Birthday Josh. 11 years old. Well, actually tomorrow.
Finally back up to where I was, except fingers not healed all the way. Dr Schindler wants me to do a follow-up so maybe this week if it rains and he has space open. For two days now I haven't had it taped on the buddy system. It don't bend all the way but it will do. My neck finally got back to where it was, C5&6 are about where they were. I actually popped it in the tub. It's a 75 gallon tub and after soaking in hot water I submerged my head, shook it back and forth, and snap, crackle, pop... back to regular. I don't look like the Hunchback, swelling gone down.
Me and Megan finished one step out the back of the Sunroom. First step, over 500lbs of concrete. We got the ceiling fans up in the Sunroom too, now just the walls and the rest of the floor. Me and Megan also put a standup fountain in there and decorated it.
Misty is healing pretty quickly. Her and Matt have been picking up and dropping off the kids from school now. That was fun doing that, like old times when the kids were little. I teased Josh and told him I was going to leave out my teeth and say give Papaw sugars at the school, lol. I wouldn't do that but I love joking with the kids.
Sunday Mark called, said the buzzards were circling and we had a cow balling. Me and Megan went up there and over a dozen buzzards, give or take, were after a newborn calf. I've been around cows all my life and this was a first. The cows were in a group, holding them at bay, for how long God only knows. We shoo'ed them away, came back home and got the shotgun, but they had all left. The news said they had overproduced and were attacking calves. I've watched the skies over our cows and Mark's since then. I figure I can take care of the overpopulation problem. It makes me wonder about his and our calf losses last year. It's a strange world these days.
The O2 is fine, since the humidifier was added. Then again, I wake up sometimes and find I've slightly removed it in my sleep. (grin) Denise still hates my hair and beard, lol. Funny how people react differently to someone with short hair verses long hair, shaven verses unshaven. It's like two different worlds. Finally I'm on a diet, until Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners anyway. No change in neuropathy.
I got a very nice email fromSerge Lavange with jooble-us.com. You are right Serge, I'm not sure that the blog and your website are related, but I posted you a link anyway. Thank you for the kind words.
If should I not post before 11-11-11, thank you to all the Veterans who have served. May God bless and keep you in His Grace.
Misty is doing fine, still a lot of pain, but she is doing good. She should know soon the results of the cist they took out. (Probably spelled that wrong). Tonight she was in pain. She slightly overdone it today.
I got maybe 3 hours sleep last night with the O2. What a headache it gave me. My sinuses were dried out along with my throat. Tonight they brought a humidifier for the O2 machine... thank God.
Michael got our shutters in today and put on the house today. The only thing we really lack now is the metal replaced on 2 garages and 2 storage buildings, Matt & Misty's bathroom floor covering. I think that is it as far as storm damage goes. Michael is coming back later though when he gets storm damage work done to do under the porch and eves in soffit.
A few of the Garlic is up, not many though, but I got faith the rest will follow.
Misty had her surgery and was feeling a little rough today, Matt took the day off again to stay with her. They took out the cist and Gall Bladder yesterday. They are sending the cist off to examine it, maybe she will know what it was by week's end. She was feeling a lot of pain today, but I still made her laugh. She had ate some of the last tommy toe tomatoes I had picked that I brought her.
I've gotten to take the kids to school 2 times now, and again tomorrow. Annie picked them up today. I slept with the O2 machine last night. Denise awoke to an alarm and she said I had turned it off and took it off in my sleep, lol. It was OK, but I still don't see of feel the difference.
My fingers are slow to heal but they're getting there. C5&6 swelling has slowly gone down and between my shoulders is backing off, whatever you call those backbones. The cuts have went fast though. Knee is quite a bit better and elbow too. Right shoulder still a bit slow to heal.
I played with the tractor a little, let Megan drive, ran errands and we moved the ramp they used in the Sunroom, which BTW has a ceiling now, thanks to Al & Mr Fox. I go to Suntrust tomorrow to close my last account there and next week we close with AT&T on the home phone and web. We're still contemplating the cells.
Yesterday we got the fence patched up from the cows invading the hay area, they ate buffet I guess. Part of 1 row is up with the Garlic, the rest is still down. Today I went to Ms Clawson's house and moved her piles of shavings and remains of a massive tree she had cut with the tractor. She is a nice lady. When I was doing chemo and lost my hair she made me 3 or 4 Do Rags to wear and wouldn't let me pay her for them.
We went to Dr Rathfoot for the follow up for the Sleep Study. He went over it and decided to not do the C Pap due to the throat not being able to withstand the pressure. He prescribed O2 instead. He looked into my throat and said whatever I was reacting to had apparently left, no more allergic reaction. They are suppose to come tomorrow. A good friend is a rep as well as Larry who is the owner of the company is where we went too. So we're trying this and maybe some more injections in the area if needed in about 3 months.
Misty has a mass and is scheduled for surgery in the morning. It is some kind of infection, but they aren't sure what. He is doing her surgery Immediately. They also found she has Gall Stones. They forgot the first thing. Prayers and good wishes for her please. She has 4 kids, all small.
As for my healing from the stairs, the fingers are showing slow improvement. The back C5&C6 are till swelled, and a few ways down, between the shoulders, it is miserable. And so another day goes by.
Slow but steady improvement. Still walking a bit slower and cautiously. Fingers still sore but all except one pops now. Muscle pain better, neck even improved a bit, still tender. Since it was raining, me and Megan went to Food City to get some food, Megan got some movies. I made sure I got non rGBH milk, but messed up even worse and bought Ultra-Pasteurized because it said Organic. Like Extra Virgin Olive Oil is worse that Olive Olive oil, pasteurization is too...oops.
Megan done better than I, one of her movies she got is named "Soul Surfer" , which The Blind Side stands in shadow of this true story. I wasn't aware Hollywood could even produce anything like that these days. I'd about challenge one to watch this without a tear.
We went looking, after Denise came home, for Cell Phones. We're torn between Net10 and Straighttalk. We've decided to leave AT&T. My phone number will be the same. After Wednesday our email will change too, well at least mine will. It will no longer be firstname.lastname@example.org but will change to email@example.com. I close my Suntrust account out as soon as I know the UPS/IBT retirement check goes into the Credit Union, then Bye-Bye bank. I've been reading a book that at first I said wasn't worth reading, then kept on reading it for some reason. It's quite good actually and gets better as it goes along. It's called, "Not The Father Of Our Fathers. How The Doctrine of Demons Have Entered Our Churches". Not that I agree with everything he says, but it makes one think.
Monday will come too soon, Rathfoot appointment and where I'll be getting a machine to sleep with. I'll have a chat with him on the amount of pressure on it.
The X-Ray came back and it doesn't show any fractures. C5 & 6 are bad, but that I already knew. We're giving it 2 weeks to see if my fingers heal up, he is worried about the ringer finger healing worse than the rest. The X-Ray is labeled Concussion, not sure what that is about. Kim, I give you permission to my records if you want to see them. I'll also come to you as my doctor if you ever go on your own and will take me.
I called Covenant Health Care's "Quality Control" and it was just as good as their ER services. Me and Denise now have an understanding. Do take me to that place again. It's kind of like a cliff hanger though. Did the doctor get the girl? Did she buy the stockings he approved of? Perhaps we'll never know.
Dr Schindler offer pain pills yesterday which is unusual for him to do, but I turned them down. So today Denise said to mention Muscle Relaxers, maybe they would help. I got them and took one on my way home, thank God I was close. I ain't felt like that since the 70s, lol. I haven't decided if I'll do another at bedtime yet, but if I do I think I'll cut that thing in 1/2. I was all stretched out in the recliner actually watching TV. Man those things are strong.
Denise got a copy of Dr Rivera's report today for her Aflack Insurance and it shows only a Morphine Injection and a finger X-Ray. He does not show cause of accident, manipulating the finger, examination of the head, neck, elbow, hands, or shin. So Dr Rivera does not document his work. Why?
I overheard Denise talking with her sister and she said the Morphine injection could have masked some things going on really bad. Now we're trying to figure out why. Was it my hair was long and I have a beard? Was it that I didn't take time to put my teeth in? It certainly wasn't that they were busy, we were the only ones there. Dr Rivera was busy flirting with a blonde headed nurse. Perhaps we interfered.
Tomorrow I'll do something I seldom do, call Covenant Heal Care's Top CEOs. For whatever excuse Dr Rivera may come up with, another doctor's report today and another hospital's records are now done. I know they own Morristown Hamblen Hospital and Ft Sanders Regional Medical, but I must say I highly suggest running the opposite way from them. Unbelievable. Perhaps the name should be changed to Covenant Non-Health Care.
Went to Dr Schindler today to have myself checked out. He said in all likelihood I had a concussion since I'd lost consciousness but since my headache had stopped was probably ok and didn't need a CAT Scan. He taped the ring finger to the middles finger and called it a "buddy wrap", or something like that. It helps it bend without as much pain. He wrote a script to have a neck and head X-ray so I went to Lakeway Hospital to have that done. He looked at the gash in my shin, head, fingers and neck. Turns out I tore tendons and ligaments in more than just that finger and more than just one hand. We went ahead and had him do the Thyroid check while I was there. Doc was shocked that all they done was partially set my finger, doped me up, and sent me home.
Megan helped me with some of the ceiling insulation in the Sunroom, Al and Mr Fox comes back to put the ceiling in Wed. We still lack a little. Denise is still pissed over Morristown Hamblen's ER, or lack thereof. :) Kim, I was in your hospital today. Next week, Rathfoot follow-up.
My ring finger is still swelled and it has turned red, white, and blue... black in some spots. The handrail left it's bruise under my arm. My left fingers and had are swollen. The Neuropathy takes care of most of that along with the right thumb & index finger. My neck has a huge knot on it followed by another huge knot at the base of my shoulders. The Right Knee is in pain, must have been the first down. Foot ain't go bad
This is the second time I've awakened. For once I was right. Across my shoulder, especially the right rise, right arm, 2 fingers on the left hand and a right thumb. ribs, neck, leg. Pretty much anything on the right side. Plus a major headache that makes yesterdays headache look good. I just took 3 Ibuprofen. I think I'll lay back down again.
What a way to start the day. I woke up a little after 4am to use the bathroom. I didn't have anything to drink so I decided to go downstairs and get a Sierra Mist. Megan had done the usual and tossed her towels down the stairs. I was sleepy and wasn't paying much attention. I remember heading down the stairs and the next thing I knew was looking and seeing my hand on the landing in front of my face with my ring fingertip laying over the pinky finger at the 2nd joint. I was on my neck, back to the wall and the other arm was behind me. Blood was on the floor.
I yelled for help but my voice isn't all that strong. Megan probably had her hearing aides out and Denise was in bed at the other end of the house. After a while I figured nobody could hear me and I couldn't yell any louder. I couldn't get situated so that I could get up. So I jerked until I ended up flat down. Once down I walked up the stairs and at the top yelled for Denise. She heard me.
I showed her my finger and she looked shocked. I didn't realize how fast she could get dressed. She said let's go, but I was in my PJs without a shirt. I went in my bedroom and grabbed my pants, Denise grabbed me a shirt, slipped my shoes on and off we go to the hospital. I was and still am in pain.
Now comes the funny part. We get to the ER and a young doctor came in. I showed him my hand and asked if he was going to numb it. He reached to my hand, grabbed my finger and bent it back almost to where it should be, then walked out. I wasn't sure where he went, he just left the room. I looked at my finger, seen it wasn't still where it should be, so I set it the rest of the way. The ER Doctor comes in and say "Awe, you've already set it, I was wanting to do that". Then he tells me he needs to give me a shot, guess what of. Morphine.
Now I'm no doctor but shouldn't that have been given first? I didn't have enough confidence to show him anything else. No anti-inflammatory meds or nothing. They took 3 X-rays, then told me to go home and keep it elevated and on ice, like I had a choice after the shot. :) I thank God for neuropathy which lessened the pain. I wasn't aware that fingers could go that far without breaking. So we go home and Denise has to get ready for work now.
I checked out the rest of my pains when we got home. I think my elbow is maybe fractured, either that or the bone in on spot is extremely bruised. I got cuts on my elbow, forearm, head, and a huge gash in my shin. My neck and back are killing me along with the right knee. After the Morphine wore off I began to feel the index finger on the left hand and the thumb on my right hand, both are swelled. I feel like I've been in a car wreck. Man I dread tomorrow. I probably should have gone to a real doctor. Morristown Hamblen Hospital seems to be lacking something there. We got far better and concerned service taking Sasha to the Vet in White Pine.
So most of the morning I iced it down and waited out the effects of the Morphine. Then I got bored, but even taking the lid off a Mt Dew is a task. Sooo, what to do. I done the top part of the wall in the Sunroom insulation, which wasn't much. I think I've had to rest my finger at least a dozen times. I do believe it is time for the Popsicle sticks. :) I usually hold onto the handrail and I'm guessing that I still was when I got my foot in the towel. The only thing that would put a gash, especially the size of the missing skin on my shin is the part of the ceiling that is about 7 foot high in the stairway. So I assume that I must have done one of those Hollywood stairway rolls, lol.
Megan has felt guilty all day and worried about me and Denise being mad at her. She has been told at least a hundred times not to do that, but kids don't listen. I think she got that part from me, lol. I did go over no more doing that and now with an example why. As far as being mad, not much point in that. It is what it is and what has happened has happened. It could have been worse. I know today Denise was tired. I've apologized many times over for that. This day too will pass. For now, I go soak with a new book in a hot tub. I dread tomorrow, but it shall pass. Time will heal.
So this day ends with I'm sore and hurting. Denise is worn out. Megan is finally back being Megan. (Hopefully without the towel toss). :)
Al and Mr Fox got the rafters finished today in the Sunroom and done a great job. So now we're down to the roofs on the garages and outbuildings, plus trim. Michael is going to do under the porch in soffit, and I probably spelled that wrong, and the shutters. Denise is anxious and was a bit disappointed when the wrong color came in, but we've lived without shutters since the house was built, whats a few more weeks. :) I started he stone work for the front sidewalk, it's ground level so I know I can't fall, lol. I would say I can't get hurt but I stubbed the little finger I broke a while back. I'll try and reset it again tonight.
I think I should have put a bandanna on my neck though, a bit tight today and tonight, a bit hard to breath and painful. Then again it could be where I'm allergic to the concrete when it's dry.
We put the garlic out today, wanted to wait until tomorrow but rain tonight and tomorrow, so we done it today. Out of 3 calendars 2 showed today and tomorrow and 1 just showed tomorrow for the signs to be right to plant. We done 6 rows 25 feet long and a 7th row that is maybe about 5 feet long. I think it's the same amount we done last year. The neuropathy eased off a little today, now if the knees will give me a break.
Duddy came over on his bike. Beautiful Harley Bagger. I was surprised to see him come, usually he says he is coming but never makes it. We worked together at UPS. He was my Christmas helper sometimes, loader, and when I got hurt they had me ride with him to give him tips, like he really needed that, he was/is good. Then I ran across Igor, aka Breeze, at the Credit Union today. He has his own route now. He had pictures of his girls in his Package Car, man they've grown. I checked out the new DIAD and the automatic gas car. When I started there none of the cars even had power steering or for that matter synchronized first gears. Fans were not allowed. Now they have all of that, but too much technology. The employees are what made that place happen and put things together. Makes me worry about my retirement checks now that they're not.
No new energy yet, but Denise had enough for both of us until she turned an ankle. Tractor tire indent from a long time ago. We went to Lowe's and got so peat moss the hit a yard sale and came home. Talked with Al who is going to start reworking the rafters in the Sunroom. Since me and ladders don't seem to go together still yet and his labor price was reasonable.
Denise tilled the garden while I tossed rocks out getting the soil ready. I had put the leaves and grass clippings in there a few days before. Then we spread the peat moss out. Probably not enough but 3 bags. Then tilled it again and I tossed more rocks out. :) I placed some pressure treated landscape timbers at the lower end to keep the soil from washing out. We have to get a roll of plastic so that Tuesday's rain won't get the soil wet. Wednesday we plant the Garlic since the signs are right. Not a big bed by any means, 10x25 ft, but it should be big enough. We debated and still may put some more peat down and mix it in. I tossed the remain fertilizer on the bed. We will have 5 or 6 different kinds again that range in flavor, then we can start eating what is left. I went out and picked some of the Bell Peppers again and left the bulk of them to finish off, unless it frosts soon. Denise has a thing for the Red ones since she heard they had a lot of Vit C in them.
I got a call from Panella's nurse today on the blood work. It was all good except the Potassium was low. I use to take supplements when I worked at UPS during the summers. I didn't know that Potassium is ever prescribed as medicine, except in IV bags, seen those when I had my heart attack. He added 20meq pills for a month. Denise said it would also help to give me energy.
I'm not sure if it will help the neuropathy which seems to be in overdrive the last 2 weeks. Kind of comes in handy since so far I seem to have slightly broken my pinky and I think something in my right foot when I tripped and fell about a week ago. Certainly helps with the pain which still comes through but tolerable for the most part.
Tonight me and Denise have watched a little TV, which I normally don't do. We saw Harry Bikers eat rat, and now the 80 ways dudes eat Ostrich eggs. Denise says she wouldn't eat either... I'd try both, lol. I ate Opossum once, but I wouldn't have if I'd known what it was. Maybe it was cooked wrong or maybe the thought of road kill being cooked, but it had a horrible after taste, greasy/slimy too.
We went for the regular check-up with Dr Panella today. I got a good report which was great. I think it would have been a little better if they had the last two visits from Dr. Rathfoot in my file, but it was good to hear the report from back in June. The blood work wasn't back in time for my visit, maybe Denise can get that tomorrow. I'm sure it is good though. I weighed in at a whopping 231 and some ounces, pretty much 232lbs. That would be good if I were a Sumo Wrestler, but I ain't. I could probably get a job as the "before" picture, lol. Panella suggested I loose weight and exercise. I couldn't agree more. For a moment I thought my feet were shrinking when I looked down, but still the same shoe size, may be the view. :) I stopped in the Chemo Hut and saw the ladies there. Some new faces and some familiar ones too. They were good to me when I needed it most.
He did feel what he called a thickening on bothy sides of my neck which he attributed to radiation damage. My next appointment is in 6 months and I have a chest X-Ray the day of. Throat (Esophageal) cancer recurrence is most prevalent at 2-3 years and for longer than that can follow what he calls the "tree"- Brain, Neck, or Lungs. Now a special note:
Dr Panella- If you still read this blog, I know you don't know how to take me sometimes, I am a bit odd. Denise says she is the same way. :) But know that I do listen to what you say and it does sink in and that I do value my life. I know God has the ultimate decision of life or death, but He also sent me to great doctors and nurses, and a great hospital, UT. I believe you to be a good doctor but more importantly, a good man, else I would not have stuck with you. He has provided me with great doctors, nurses, family, and friends. I know what comes next and have no fear, but I still respect life. Sometimes that comes across funny I know.
You see my friend, I am a winner no matter what the outcome is for I have lived amongst great people. Good people. Kind people. So while I am here I decided long ago that if I could make someone smile or laugh, maybe I could repay just a tiny portion of the kindness that has been bestowed upon me. Plus that is also my medicine as well. If for even one moment I can make someone forget their troubles or pain and smile, it is a life worth lived. You have to admit, I made you smile and you smile when you look at me. God knows what you are thinking, lol, but it doesn't matter, thing is, you smile. I also forgot to say thank you. I'll see you in April 2012. God Bless.
I just got back from Sleep Study 2, man what a night. I started out learning what the first sleep study results were. I forget the numbers but there were three things I done on the first one and the sleep was divided up by REM sleep and the regular sleep. I got over an hour of REM sleep in the first study but had I think 54 times when I stopped breathing. During other sleep I had a lot of shallow breathing plus times when I stopped breathing and two events where the brain was involved. If I understood her correctly it was where the brain shuts off the breathing, maybe it was turns on, but I'm, pretty sure she said turns off. On the stopping breathing just during REM sleep I remember thinking it was something like about every 2 to 3 minutes on the average. She said at 5.? one was qualified for Sleep Study with a Cpap, mine was 27.?, so I more than qualified. :)
So last night they place all those electrodes on again, I'll probably be finding them the rest of the day, lol. I'm writing this waiting for Denise to call from work, she just left, then wash the junk out of my hair and my body. I'm not really tired though it has been a long night. The ladies there are nice and good, but man what a night. The first mask didn't seal well enough with my beard, so we tried another mask. That one didn't seal well either, so they used a nose mask. Unfortunately that one sealed.
I remember them being in the room I think 4 times, I think adjusting, and once I had turned on my belly. I woke up a few times in pain, I felt pressure on my throat, lots of it. I opened my mouth to speak but air blew out it with a lot of force. This morning my throat hurts. Not the worse pain I've ever had, but it still hurts, like I've screamed all night. If only I had that capability. Good think I took my top dentures out of I think they'd have become a projectile, lol. She said I experienced events until they finally had full pressure on it all night. Even then I had some moments, so who knows. She said I would more than likely get a machine. All night I had a lot of phlegm that I could have spit out, but that damn thing gave no opportunity to to that. Thick junk. Who knows, probably what little brains I have left that thing was blowing out, lol. I managed to swallow it, and that was almost impossible, had to get in the rhythm to make sure I didn't aspirate on it.
As I understand it, and God knows I get things wrong sometimes, this thing, a trach, or a pine box is about the only three options left. I think another two surgeries where they do injections are still on the table, but the scaring damage is done. Sometimes the cure is as bad as the disease, and they ain't even sure about that, they are just looking for changes. So far all is stable, it ain't good, but it's stable so far. A trach, even if temporary is out as far as I'm concerned. This machine I'll try but I think may close the throat off with the pressure. If it does, so be it. We go nowhere before out time and what better way to go, in our sleep, best option I've seen.
So from this though I take it I will get to sound like Darth Vader and feel the force, lol. I wonder if it comes with a Light Saber? The again, I do like food so maybe I can be Darth Tater and just use a fork. Now I think I'll sleep today, its rainin anyway.
We went to see Dr Rathfoot today to get the results of the sleep study and a check-up. Things have finally stabilized and he liked that. He said if he were in the ER and I came through and he didn't know me though he would panic after he scoped me. Knowing me through this threw this and what has been done, he is pleased. He said I had adapted to the situation. We discussed (briefly I might add) a trach and feeding tube, which I rejected. I think just for a while, but I wasn't willy to discuss. He said I would need maybe a couple more times with injections. I can do that. I have certain things I'm willing to do and certain things I'm not.
The sleep study showed some things that aren't right, so I get to do the sequel. It showed my heart getting out of rhythm when the O2 goes to 78, not sure how many times or for how long. He told me but I forgot. So I get something to help me breathe at night but I got to do another test to find out how much pressure to do, or something like that. I made the comment I have no problem dying in my sleep, beats doing it during a heart attack or getting close to it with cancer. I said it sincerely and rather comically, but it wasn't too well received. I don't care to wear that whatever to help me breathe at night though. He said that was why I was so tired all the time.
Best though was I finally got my teeth! I went to Morristown Dental Center and they put my teeth in... and they felt great and still do. So far me and Megan ate Chicken Tenders from Hardees and some nuts. Ok, the nuts didn't go so well, lol. I still have a ways to go to get use to them, but I love 'em. It seems like forever since I've had teeth, and it some ways it has. Megan says I look younger with them in. Mark said it was like having a mouth full until you get use to them, and it does. But man can I eat. I can still taste like I did too. Uh oh, think I gained weight just thinking about it.
I test drove my teeth today, man they looked great. I hated to give them back or take them out. Dr Stelzman (spelling ?) said they looked good and Christy (Yellow Hair :) ) liked them too. They actually felt good. I think the bottom partial will need relining though when I get the uppers. I get them Monday and doc said I'd probably figure on coming back through the week for alignment.
Monday I also find out the results of my sleep study and also Rathfoot will probably scope me, he usually does. Now that the scopes are farther apart they have gotten harder to do where I'm not use to them. I look forward to the day maybe things can go back to normal and the only thing up my nose is the air and my finger. :) Hopefully too, Dr Rathfoot will known something else to try and get rid of the yeast infection. I went back on 5mg of Prednisone, think I quit a bit too quickly.
Denise is getting better, talked her into Vit D since she won't go to a doctor. I talked with Sally. She is having a hard time with her radiation. Please remember her in your prayers.
I took 5 mg of Prednisone tonight. I think I made a mistake just stopping cold turkey. I'm passing quite a lot of fresh blood again and cramping in my stomach. I go next week to Rathfoot and maybe I will not have to tell him I've stopped. My throat feels better some though, seems the other meds are fighting off the thrush mouth and yeast infection in my mouth and throat.
Denise has been sick for the last few days now. I've hovered just right above getting sick, but I've stayed on about 6k iu of vit D. I get my first trial frame fitting of the top plate tomorrow. I'll not stay inside much due to the massive CME in the region 1302 here all week.
My friend Sally isn't doing to well with her radiation. She is in pain and the stress of her mother has taken a bad turn. Please pray for them.
I went and got my impression made today. I go back Wed for a fitting. Then Monday for the finished product... TEETH! I may bite myself to see if it's real.
I quit the Predisoine (spelling), we could not get the yeast infection to die down, so I stopped taking it. I go Monday and will tell Rathfoot that I stopped. I don't think it will be a big deal. If it is I'll apologize and go back on it. I've got a few other pills in mind too. Denise will catch on but if she sees I'n fine without them she'd be ok with me not taking them.
Matt is working his butt off, I glad for him and proud of him. Annie is in nursing school and Megan will go to Graphic Arts.
We've 2 garage roofs to put on and some soffit when Michael gets me the price.. Oh yea, the shutters for both houses.
Denise caught a cold and I think she is sharing the wealth. :)
Mental and physical stress is definitely two everyday factors in the life of someone who has been diagnosed with cancer. Though a cancer diagnosis of any kind (including common cancers such as breast cancer and even rare cancers like mesothelioma) can cause anxiety and stress, there is something that cancer survivors can do to help improve their day-to-day well being. Cancer patients who exercise consistently have been shown to have lower mortality rates and better quality of life than those patients who are inactive. It may not be the first thing on the mind of a survivor after they come home from a chemotherapy session, but maintaining a fitness routine is vital to living the best life possible.
An informative brochure put out by the Cancer Resource Center at the University of California – San Francisco states that clinical trials have revealed some significant gains for cancer patients who decide to keep exercising while they undergo cancer treatments. For example, the conductors of the clinical trials discovered that prostate cancer survivors who exercised not only reduced their risk of developing incontinence, but they also were able to diminish the side effects of treatments like radiation and hormone therapy. For women who had received a breast cancer diagnosis, those who exercised lowered their chances of dying by 64%. These results show the importance of exercise in the lives of those people who wish to do more than just sit by and wait for cancer to take their lives. Even with just a little exercise, the quality of life and the life expectancy can be greatly improved for cancer survivors.
Though exercise may not be the cure for cancer, society can no longer deny that it significantly helps those who may be going through the mental anguish of a cancer diagnosis or the physical pain of cancer treatments. In the aforementioned document, clinical scholars at the UC-San Francisco found that all that colon cancer survivors had to do was set aside 6 hours per week for walking at an average pace to achieve a “47% improvement in disease-free survival" compared with their inactive counterparts. This means that, for some cancer survivors, a little exercise has gone a long way in helping them to stay alive. Not only will developing a fitness plan help cancer patients ease their mental stress, but it can clearly help them with the physical fight as well. There is no doubt that exercise takes care of both the body and the mind, helping survivors achieve a well balanced life.
By: David Haas
This was submitted and asked that I post this information up and is not an advertisement but info to help those with cancers. Thank You David Haas for sharing this info.
Tomorrow I get the molds made for my upper teeth. Not sure just how long it will be after that, but it's getting close now. I'm too excited to go to bed. Michael and his crew will also be back to finish the windows, they look great so far. Tomorrow will be a good day again.
My knee is pretty much shot, has some Arther in it, actually knees, shoulder, elbows, ankles, and neck, from injuries and stresses all those years at UPS. It does this every year until the seasons get changed and the just flair ups. Got my bottle of Tylenol Arthritis ready. :) The right one was pretty bad today, plus the yeast infection, but it is leaving slowly... Denise says. So I hobbled around just a little.
I watched how to do Vinyl Siding on, pretty cool demo. I'm going to try that just as soon as we're finished with the concrete. I fell yesterday and bruised up a few things. Part of the neuropathy I guess, part clumsy. That might be part of the knee thing. A pony cart is pretty solid, the roll of wire wasn't too soft either, lol. Luckily the ground broke my fall. I did install and finish a plug in in the carport.
I visited Dr Long and Jody Long's site, just in the special board that isn't public though. I go there and talk to others who've had NDEs. We have a place where we can just talk, no worries about questions, no worries what we say. It's nice. http://www.nderf.org I go there for what I call a refill.
Ordered a Framing Nailer finally, decided to get a new one, and ordered Denise's blinds. Caught up on the figures for the repairs on both houses and the lists we have left to do. We're slowly getting there and the folder is slowly filling up. I gave up and went out into public finally. Nobody seemed to notice, well, maybe a few did. We will have to wait until at least Tuesday to start back n the concrete so we don't get in Micheal's way. They have done a superb job so far.
Back down again. I slept most of yesterday. It's not that I am sick I'm just run down. Perhaps the concrete me and Megan went at hard for a couple of days or the allergy I have to it before it dries. Denise says it's a yeast infection, my tongue is coated with white stuff. Today I slept late and other than entering a thing on Purina for some kind of coupon or free cat and dog food voucher, that is about it. I have no idea what that was but Denise said to do it, so I did.
Denise killed a snake a day or so ago. Those things creep me out. I thought something was up since the Peacocks seemed to stick to me like glue lately. It's that time of year again.
So today I want to do what I said I was going to do yesterday, build a gate for Matt & Misty's new back deck. I'll have to do some modifications though since Rick and Al made no provisions to add a gate or a rail even to one side. So I'll add posts and build a rail in a tight spot. Been thinking of getting a framing nailer, but not so sure I want that expense, my building days are at end and limited now. Still, it would be a new toy, :) Megan wants to build her own Chicken Coop even though we have some empty ones open, but I can see her point.
I've done a lot of research and reading, save yesterday when I couldn't stay awake. I've lost over 10 lbs and hopefully will keep it off, due to the teeth extractions. I go the 19th for my molds to be made and hopefully I'll have teeth by the end of the month. When I get them I told Denise we'd thaw out some steaks, get some potatoes, onions, and other stuff and I'd grill a meal fit for a king. Then we start all over again with an appointment to Rathfoot and get the Sleep Study report back. I had her cancel the appointment until I have teeth.
I'm gaining strength back decently, look healthy as a horse and have more good than bad days... now if I could just get the stamina back. Oh well, one step at a time. In a way that isn't a bad thing. Most of my life I used brute force to accomplish things where now I have learned to improvise and actually think. Now if I could just remember what I thought, lol.
I got my stitches out yesterday, it hurt a little but only briefly, then it felt much better. Sidney said that it was impressive how fast and good my gums were healing. Denise said she gets the credit for fussing at me to constantly soak my gums in warm saltwater. :) I can eat soup now, but only soft soup, I'm slowly toughing them up. I think if I had eaten anymore soft scrambled eggs I'd have grown feathers and crowed. If I ate any more Tuna and Mayo I would grow gills. :) I went from the 231 to 221 now which is a good thing, but I want about 200. I go a little later than I wanted to get my impression for my teeth. Not exactly what I wanted, but then again I want a good fit. In the meantime I've avoided going out.
Me and Megan moved and stacked the old lumber that was in the yard to the field where the Chicken Coop is. Megan wanted to target shoot for some time now and so today I thought about it and she asks for little, so we decided to target shoot. Megan picked her 2 guns out and I picked out 2 about 100 rounds and had a blast. Megan wanted to shoot the bigger guns so we took those back and got a few other ones. Matt and Josh came back and Denise came back too, and we took about 100 or more rounds that time too. Even Josh shot. Then Megan wanted to drive a little, she hasn't learned yet though she took Driver's Ed and passed. So tonight she drove a bit before dark. I'm kind of anal about driving techniques. I had 20 plus years at UPS with no tickets or chargeable accidents. All in all we had fun.
Tonight we discussed about Megan going to school. She is 19 now. So she looked at what the Voc Tech school has to offer, she said she didn't want College. The Voc Tech school has a fancy name now but I don't recall what they changed it too. Wonder if my degree from there is still a degree, lol. We've sheltered her quite a lot. She got so use to hearing that she had limits in high school so tonight I had her watch a guy named Nick, then come back and tell me her limits. I'm going to place one of the videos he has up. She thinks autobody since it involves paint. She has a talent for paint and drawing, not to mention photography. She first said electronics, which I smiled and asked if that was because of my degree, and I think it was.
All in all, that is about it. I have to wait probably another 2 weeks before I get teeth. So I'll play hide and seek until then. Here is the video.
Well the first day was rough but the second wasn't too bad, nothing like I had expected. I think I took two pain pills yesterday. So far today, one. I've been soaking with warm salt water and using hot whatever that thing is on my face, just not as much as I should have. I've been reading on the web and wrote an article. I come close yesterday to going out and doing a little but I found out pretty quickly as I stirred around that wasn't too good of an idea. Hence the first pain pill, lol.
My face is still swollen a lot and I think I may have messed up the stitch in the front with my tongue. So far, no dry sockets, thank God. I go next week and Sidney will check it out and then the next week for a mold to be made. By the 23rd I hope to have teeth. Until then, my butt is staying home. When I get healed up a bit more I bought enough concrete and stuff to keep me busy without going out.
Megan, in her usual way, has been extremely attentive. She must have ran in and out of my room 100 times yesterday. She finally, when Denise was heading home asked if she could go play with Josh. Today Denise has stayed near and Megan not far off. They've enjoyed watching the Hummingbird eat out on the front porch.
I can't wait to eat normal again. Ever since the Chemo I've had to be careful what I ate, how I ate, and kept Gorilla Glue near by. Man this is going to be good. I just gotta wait.
Denise took me to Dr Boyd's office this morning and he pulled the top teeth out. I was a coward this time and requested to be put to sleep, unlike when he took out the bottom ones. I woke up and felt some pain but not the worse I've had. After the numbing wore off, man what pain. So now, with the exception of the bottom two teeth, I'm toothless. If I understood correctly, I have one huge stitch that goes from one side to the other. lol, it grosses Denise out to look at it.
If all goes well, in about two weeks Dr Steltzman will make an impression and by the third week of this month I'll have my plate made. I've no idea how long it will take me to get use to it. I've stayed inside today, except to feed the chickens and stray cats. With the hydos I've went in and out, I'm not use to them anymore. Clots have formed and just a very little bleeding now, so maybe I won't have to do the pain pills long.
Me and Megan worked on the wall Tuesday, we got 41 block laid. It's the same wall I started earlier this year, still not done yet. Megan took to the trowel pretty good patching head joints. We backed off of it Wednesday, I lost my voice and my throat swelled up. I forgot that the anti-inflammatory meds would have to be stopped before surgery. I'll start them back tomorrow. We spend the day running errands. I bought enough chicken food to last a month and concrete to mix so I won't have to go out in public much, least that's the plan. Mom's toilet tore up in dad's bathroom so I fixed that yesterday morning, then fixed her plumbing to the toilet where her and or Annie attempted to fix the toilet before they called me. So now both are fixed.
Denise has stayed home with me today and waited on me. I'd milk it but I'd be pushing it, lol. I figure I'll stay in another day and goof off, I haven't been on the computer much lately. Rick and Al got our porch done and me and Megan built a new gate to match it. I'm going to build Mist and Matt one to match their porch too. Mom's gate has a cracked elbow, so that needs fixed too. The garden is pretty much done until Garlic planting time, save for gathering the seeds.
I haven't spent much time as usual on the web lately and a lot of that has been researching again. Rick and Al started reworking the front porch today and will probably finish it tomorrow. They are perfectionists. I had almost lost faith in people taking some pride in their workmanship, but these guys build it like it is theirs.
I'm wore out today, I done a sleep study last night. The people there were great and the atmosphere was good. Now that Swamp People has gone off I have a new show, Top Shots, but it wasn't on last night. No internet there, only TV. I have no idea what that show was or was even about, but it was boring, I'm not a big TV fan.
I'm not sure but I think I had more leads and wires hooked on me than a new car does. I took a sleeping pill though and was able to finally go to sleep. They woke me up once to ask if I could breathe through my nose. I didn't ask how I done but I was told I was one of the, if not the, loudest snorers they've ever had. I don't think that was a good thing, lol. Now for the fun part, if I fail I have to do this crap again! Well at least the people that are there are nice. This is the first time since I was in the hospital when the chemo and radiation went sour. Denise stayed there all but one night with me.
I finally caved though on my teeth. I've got two Gorilla Glued in, smack in the front too. One is giving some pain and both are becoming lose again. I give up, or in, depending on perspective I guess. Either way, same thing. So I rushed home this morning to wash the junk out of my hair and pull the remaining electrode pads off. Grabbed me, Megan, and mom some breakfast, took my barrage of pills, then took off. Dr Steltzman checked me out and hooked me up with Dr Boyd. He will make the impression a couple of weeks after the extractions are made to get a better fit. On the good hand I have the best working on me. On the bad side I'll be toothless, save the two in the bottom to hold my partial on.
Man I hope I heal fast. I'll be at least three weeks with no teeth. From the steroid weight gain though, it probably ain't a bad thing. Either my feet are shrinking or my view is more restricted, same shoe size, so I'm guessing the view is blocked, lol. Here lately though it seems like I'm not doing so great at healing. My skin is like paper and after it's torn it don't want to heal back. Then again it's been Dog Days so maybe now that it has passed things will go back to normal.
The garden is pretty much over now, the green beans I've let go to seed (eat your heart out Monsanto). A few more peppers and odds and ends, but it's about ready to tear down. I really don't want to go out without teeth, so I'll have plenty of time to do that. In about October it will be time to plant the Garlic, but aside from that, the season is over.
Me and Denise headed out today. We were suppose to ride with Missy & Richard and Dale & Anna but they wanted to head to Bluff City, or something like that, towards Johnson City way. I've wanted to go to Cherokee, NC for 2 years now, so me and Denise decided to head out solo. Plus I think the trip and departure time would have thrown us riding in the dark. I can't see very well in the dark anymore. The first chemo 5 years ago done some damage but either this chemo or the Hyperbaric Oxygen therapy pretty much done the rest. They love to ride at night, I can't. Sooo the problem was fixed today.
We left here at a little before 12, went through Dandridge, to Chestnut Hill, to Pigeon Forge. We bypassed Gatlinburg but doubled back to the end and got us some KFC. We had intended on eating at the Chimney Top Picnic Area, but it was full. Denise said she hasn't been to Clingman's Dome in a while (may has spelled that wrong), so we went that way. It started raining withing a few miles of there so we turned around and found a roadside pull over and stopped. We ate on a stump on the side of the road with a fantastic view. The rain passed and on up we went, all the way there. We walked around but didn't go to the Dome. We headed back down and the headed to Cherokee, NC. We saw an Elk on the way, first time I've seen one. Cherokee has changed a lot, a whole lot since I've been there. We didn't see many Cherokee there, except the fake dancing on the streets. It has become as ugly as Gatlinburg now, too commercial and with big business. We stopped and ate Ice Cream, then headed back.
We took several stretch and butt breaks along the way, lol. Stopped at an old Grist Mill. Stopped at beautiful look out points. We worked our way back into Pigeon Forge, then came the back way into Dandridge, up the highway and home. Back home by 7pm!
I wasn't sure if we'd be going anywhere, Denise brought home a stomach bug and I had it until this morning. It seemed odd at first, but then it was nice. Just me and her. Where we wanted to go, when we wanted to go, and how we wanted to go. And of all things... my tooth stayed in!
I a going to so pay for this tomorrow, but today was worth it.
I love this song, it struck a cord the first time I've heard it. A lot of times we wonder where a song comes from and are they just hollow words written by someone to make it sound good. So I wondered how someone could write something that resonates with how I feel many times. So I'm embedding 2 videos, one a brief story behind the song, the other the song with lyrics.
I'm feeling the effects of hand cutting the briers behind Misty's building, thank God I don't feel the lacerations on my hands. I've remembered to massage the throat on those glands and I think it helps. The tooth is still (crossing fingers) still in, I've babied it. It's a long shot but I'd like to make it until next month, too much to do and it's still dog days. Not much pain really so far, nothing that I can't ignore.
Rick got done with Matt & Misty's deck, we're all extremely pleased with his work and amazed that he does work. His health is not good, which is an understatement. We bought the siding to repair their house and two out buildings today. Matt's uncle saw Ricks' work and asked that he come to his house and do some repairs.
Then I got busy. I flattened the front tire on the tractor. But I didn't stop there, I also managed to finish breaks off the tabs on one of the blade shaft things on the lawnmower.
I must have feel asleep right in the middle of doing this last night. My heart broke when I saw a video by Russell Means. Russell my friend, you in my prayers. Here is his video.
Charlie got to come home today. I think he is glad to be back and seems like he is ready to fight. His voice sounds good.
I stayed and goofed around, think I may have found that limit yesterday. :) Still a bit weak and my throat is swelled a little, actually quite a lot. So I researched materials, took measurements of our garages and Misty's house, and worked figures. There was a day not too long ago I would have been able to then do the work. If I could figure out how to mange my footing and possibly a few good days I still could.
I cut the pods of the Okra that was ready, Denise gets this cutting. Spent some time petting the Donkeys, Goats, Dogs, and a cat that seems to have adopted me. Watched and fed the chickens, the peacocks following me everywhere I went. They've shed their tails now but they still try and fan.
So tonight Denise fixed fried Squash, Green Beans, Potatoes, and Chicken with crunchy Onions. We're eating and a front tooth breaks off, of all times and places, in the front. My gums are giving way. I should have let them pull them when they wanted too, but I just wanted a break from the pain. My dentist is closed until Monday and we've changed insurance and haven't got the card yet. This tooth is a live one. The cap next to that one I Gorilla Glued on a few months back, I expect it will cave next. It is a dead tooth though. So far the pain isn't too bad, I've had worse.
We're suppose to ride bikes this weekend and unless it rains we still are. I think Denise and me both need it, I know we do. Maybe even Saturday. I've Gorilla Glued this one back on but there just isn't enough gum left for it to hold pressure on, so I doubt it will stay. At least it will maybe leave a film so that air don't hit it. It's still Dog Days so I'll put off having them all pulled if I can. Note to God... I need a break.
Charlie is drinking, but he isn't eating. Somehow though his immunity is building and he may get to come home by week's end. They're trying to get him to walk.
This was my stupid day today. I started out going out the door. Before I shut the door I do a quick check. Truck keys, house keys, door locked, billfold, check book, all check. So I close the door and open the gate, teeth, uncheck, so back in I go.
I decide, despite the news warning on bad air quality and record breaking heat that I would bush hog the hill. The I decide that I since Jackie Sue had called about building a fence and not being able to keep it on the property line, I'd check it like she suggested to see if it was ok. Stupid move #3.
Neuropathy and crossing fences are not a good idea. I watch my feet, firmly planted and positioned on the fence wire, cross one leg over, holding onto the post. That is about when I placed weight on the left shoulder I had worked on and it gave. Twisted my feet, I'm guessing out of reflex which I fell on the fence and a barb stuck into the inner part of my leg and barbs into my hands and arms. I'm thinking though a metal pole to the face would have been worse.
I'm stuck at that moment and for some ignorant reason I think maybe I'll use my cell and call somebody to help. Except my cell requires use of my hands which are keeping my face off the pole, plus I got myself into this mess and I can get out of it. So I watch my feet, get back on the wire a bit higher and swing the leg that has the barb in it over. It did as I suspected and cut it's way out, more like slashed. Other than a small tear, my pants weren't hurt, thank God for baggie pants, lol. I couldn't help but laugh at myself after it was over. Crossing back I was a bit more careful and less confident.
I start bushhogging and I watch the gauge on the tractor to make sure it doesn't get overheated. I even took a break in the shade to cool down a bit. Wore my bandanna over my mouth and nose. The air started gently blowing on the hill. That went from feeling like I was breathing in an oven to breathing in a convection oven, lol. In my mind I thought maybe 15-20 acres and I'd stop. The last time I bushhogged I got to do more steroids and some other junk, didn't turn out too well.
At about 5-7 acres the tractor still wasn't too hot, I was. My leg was still throbbing a bit, but the bleeding had stopped. I'd sweated the blood off my hands and arms, don't have much feeling there, so that wasn't too bad. Then the throat started swelling and I started getting pressure in my chest. I took another break, got off the tractor and away from the engine heat. Started back up and again they both started. By the third time I decided maybe it was time to stop, especially when I started getting a bit disoriented. I didn't worry too much at first, I had my nitro with me. Then I thought about how that would feel on the throat. So I quit.
I managed to get back home before Denise called and caught me, except I parked the tractor a different place, beside the garage. It should have been out of sight or maybe turned around. A bush hog is a little hard to miss when it's attached to the tractor, lol.
So here it is 12:30 and I just realized that I left the eggs on top of a pen outside. Took a bath in the storm. Throat back tight and hard to breathe. I think maybe I'll have stupid tattooed on my forehead. :)
We just kind of hung out today, I seemed to have found something that I'm allergic to in the garden. I'll take it that it's still there as I keep having reactions to it. :) I stayed inside until I can heal up in my eyes, throat, and whatever the blood thing is.
We went to UT and saw Charlie. His immunity is building slowly but things aren't too good. It seems he has all but given up. Its been a week since he ate, he is still bleeding in his throat. We discussed maybe he should get a feeding tube, actually I guess I discussed he should have one. It seems strange since I fought against it and didn't have one, but things are different for different people.
He said that even water hurts, I remember that all too well. Room temperature water hurts less than cold or warm. He spit up some more blood while we were in there. He has just 16 more radiation treatments to go, but that stuff keeps working for a week or two past the treatment. For now he is on vacation from it.
There comes a point in time that dying is easier than living. I cannot fault him for wanting to toss in the towel, but hopefully he will change his mind and fight. Most people can't relate to that and I pray that they never will be able too. When the battle goes so long and we wear down, it looks as if there is no end, dying becomes easier than living. Unless one has been there no amount of reading and studying, no amount of observation, no amount of anything short of actual experience can explain this.
I wish he would use the pain meds to their fullest extent. I think he is even more afraid of them than I was. I tried to remain positive, empathic yet strong. Right now he feels like he is the only person who knows this pain, and while that isn't correct, I think that goes along with it. I did that too. He is living Hell on Earth right now and it is so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Had I not promised Denise I'd fight, had my family and friends, and this blog, who knows. It is only by the Grace of God that we go. He looked tired in his eyes and one could see the pain.
Meanwhile William is in the hospital as well. Seems he decided that he would not take the meds for his Diabetes. I talked with him today and maybe tomorrow he will get to come home. I fussed at him for that one.
I've a list of things to do tomorrow, Megan says she will help. I kind of wimped out towards the end of the week. Denise looked at the beans in the garden and decided maybe just a few more, so I need to add that. We walked back to take another glimpse at the roof. Man it looks great. Actually I think the best it has ever looked. Thanks to Pete and his crew, a big thanks.
So tonight say a prayer for Charlie to fight. He is over half way there but I know he can't see the finish line from where he is. So pray for him to see it and fight.