Sunday, December 20, 2009

Still Sunday... Part 3

    Like at the end of Part 2 said some of this stuff I have left off, it ain't even remotely pretty cool, and embarrassing. You might now have any worries, these are just mine. With the Morphine I have noticed some weird stuff. As a for instance, today while Denise was cleaning and dressing my throat, as ordered 50% Saline 50% Hydrogen Peroxide with 4 inch gauze strips, Maiderm lotion. Yep this is painful so I personally have a problem laying still and being in pain, especially if the pain is constantly being supplied. I'm not sure if I will let her then again, she may already have it up, a few minutes before my wife caught her and made her stop.

    Now here I am off topic again, so lets get back to the topic, weird side effects. While she was applying the Radiation Lotion I began to move my hand as if I was holding a cleaning cloth and rubbing the bottom of the dash in a 1970-1981 Camaro. In my mind I was doing this. I was aware that I wasn't but soon realized that I wasn't just dreaming that I was doing it... poof, I was back to this world. I asked Denise if I was making the motion (same motion), which she confirmed. I told her what I thought I was doing.

The other morning, with the help yet another drug known for these actions, which I used frequently over the last several years with nothing bad happening, finally did. Denise said I awoke completely confused, and I remember being confused. I was scared and trying to pull the IV out, arguing, and while non violent, also crossed over the line and became violent. I was so embarrassed. I was aware yet unable to gain control for a while. After that, I turned down the pills.

  These are only two instances and these are the worse so far. Others though are bad, like dry mouth.... and I mean DRY MOUTH, Sleepy and tired yet unable to sleep. Memory loss. Now here is  biggie in the world of throats, liquid. The liquid will burn you up! I was given liquid from they said the doc a few times. I do believe that was Alcohol... actually a nurse confirned it.

  There is more... but that will have to be another day.   

Sunday 20th Part 2

   As promised... back again. Panella came through about 9:30am and checked. He said that my white cells are 2.2 but my NutraFill (?) haven't went up. Something about fighting off infections. There went the Sunroom visits. Supposely plants, fresh fruit, etc. Here is a good page from a search http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla%3Aen-US%3Aofficial&hs=AQV&q=neutropenia+and+flowers&btnG=Search&aq=f&oq=&aqi=   

   The day has went well. Slooowww, but well. I get these extreme bouts of tired, but that is all. A minor headache. I have had these ( Scabs ?) that break loose from the insides of my throat. Each time they break-away, a sharp, fast pain hits. How long it stays depends upon what you are doing, have done, and what you do during the pain. Usually though it ends up turning out good. Like the large piece that came up today. It hurt bad but in the end , swallowing and especially swallowing something without it going up your nose.

  Here is an example. I swallowed a large vitamin pill, well lubricated I might add. I done my usual cough, grunt, gag... severe times. The nurse watched with amazement. I guess I must have looked either crazy or like a lair. I mumbled to myself, inaudibly and embarrassed. well it didn't go to my lungs, but it don't feel like it went down the right way either. Ahhhh the sinus cavities. I then made a snorting sound and leaving a brown trail right down my tongue the large pill. That was a Kodak Moment. The look on her face. I don't think she had ever saw that before. She kind of started listening to me on pain meds.  I would imagine being an RN she thought she had saw it all, guess that changed, lol.

   Denise left and went home, they have a lot of patients to see tomorrow and Charlie came in replacement of Denise. Panella said home was a 95% possibility, I tried to get a time frane and the best  I could get was between 9-12. Green is suppose to stop in and check and discuss the restart date. I really don't want to start back before Christmas... given the spots are a bit better healed. I know they don't wait until I'm completely healed but there is no reason that I can see in starting something that will have to be postponed. I could be wrong and would highly a reason to do it this way.

There is much, much more to tell but fatigue, extreme fatigue strikes me hard right now. I also need to tell about the side effects of  the pain medication that I'm taking, this being one of them.