12-31-2019

Last post for this year.

   I had another infusion of KeyTruda today. The next one is in three weeks and I will meet the new doctor...again. She will be the third Chemo doctor since I've been going there. I am considering that one will be my last one, the bone pain it causes is intense at times. It is different than joint pain, a different ache.

 So this next year, God willing, I want a garden. It has been two years since I have had one and we are getting low on the food we put back. Greenbeans are longer than that, it has been about 2011 or 2012 the last time we grew them and we are getting low on them. Plus I want to know I still can and I know there is a way, I just have to find it.

   This could also be the last year we raise cattle. Our catch and load system isn't cutting it, beef prices are too low (except in the stores), and I'm not sure how long I can do it. The last calves we sold went for .80 to 1.20 per lb, in the store they are 4.50 to 8.00 per lb, and ours really are grass-fed.
Middlemen and grocery stores are the ones making money while Farmers get starved out.

I am shocked at just how much lung use I have lost and apparently dead lung tissue stays dead. I will have to relearn to use what I have left, but I can do it.

Happy New Year      

12-05-2019

  It has been a while since my last post, not much has changed. I'm still doing KeyTruda every 3 weeks, so that ain't bad. It takes about 45 minutes for the actual infusion but about 2 hours due to having blood drawn and tested. My only side effects so far appear to be intense bone pain. It isn't the type of pain like Rheumatoid Arthritis, which I do have, but a deep bone itself pain away from the joints. The other one is it appears to be aggravating this Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma, but that could also be the weather. (I'm hoping).

  I still rely on O2 even though the cancer is gone due to the damage it left behind, scar tissue. Now it is funny but I never knew once the tissue happens it does not heal and regenerate, that part stays dead. I knew this with the heart but I didn't know it did the same with the lungs. So I will always be short-winded and due to that, I will always need my emergency inhaler and O2 nearby. I have learned to take it with me on the Tractor when I feed. If I exert myself I can tell it, but let me explain.

  I start to feel like I'm smothering, then my heart starts racing due to not enough oxygen. It does feel just like a heart attack and Denise tells me it could cause a heart attack, especially since mine is damaged from 2 previous heart attacks. The first one being the one that did the most damage. Aside from exertion, certain things can also shut my breathing down like straw or hay, especially wet. Dr. Rathfoot said my throat was about 1/4 the size opening of a normal throat. He said that if I walked in the ER and he saw me, not knowing my history, he would panic. That is from the radiation damage that occurred due to throat cancer treatments. The bottom part of one lung is pretty much shot, it was the one the tumor had cut off. I'm sitting here typing this out with O2 and after I finish I will do a breathing treatment.

   Having said all that, I do suggest doing conventional therapy. If I had gone with natural treatments I don't think I would be here today. I believe there has to be a better way but for now, there isn't, or at least nothing we know of. One has a choice of conventional or natural treatments, and there are those who have done natural and were cured, but they are few and far between. The best we can do is to make sure we find a good doctor and hospital with good people working there. Even with this, one has to realize that God is in control and has faith, not to be healed but there is a better place waiting. He may heal you and may not, but it is in our favor which it will be. I have no idea why he has been with me through 4 cancers and 2 heart attacks and I still stand while mom died from 2 cancers, perhaps what she was sent to do she accomplished. I know she is happy and I will see her again one day and that it was for her good, not a punishment but a reward. I had someone on FaceBook say I was an inspiration and strength to withstand what I have so far in 59 years. I thanked her for the kind words but said if I am strong it isn't my strength but God's she sees, as I can do nothing on my own, but He that I serve that strengthens me. One day He will say enough and I will be gone, and that is OK too. Meanwhile, I stand not of my own strength but of Him that created me.