August 7th 2019

   Right now I'm only doing Radiation, but the markers and numbers have changed. I'm bleeding less, almost stopped completely. I asked what the CT showed from last week but never got a straight answer. I'm not sure what that was about. My back is painful and red, very red. The radiation is taking its toll and maybe that is what is suppose to happen.

  So today I messed up, taking on way more than I should have. My heart rate is still over 100 and will not come down. I washed the dishes like I do pretty much every day, then it hit me, I need to do more. So I took the lawnmower and mowed back at the chicken pens, then over at the Tractor Garage. These are things I normally do when I feed the chickens, except I'm not feeding the chickens. I got the lawnmower stuck and decided to unstick it with the tractor. I was using the front spear instead of a rope, mistake 1. The spear went through the grill and almost into the engine and also the hood broke. Then I pulled the tractor close to the garage door and tore another hole in the door... mistake 2. A friend asked a while back if I wanted firewood, sure I said. Well, he brought his 14 ft trailer full of wood and we unloaded it. Mistake 3. Then Mark (my cousin) called and wanted to know if I would buy his hay rake that the tongue broke off and needed to be welded back. Sure, so he brought it back here and we put it in the barn lot.

  I have 4 radiations left and I thank God for that. I got about 2 weeks before starting the Rx called Infinsy (spelling ?). Next week I will get Mark and Zac to load my calves to take to the market. They are not bring well but that is just how things are. I still want to catch them up, they know me and the way things work.

   Oh I am sooo paying for this day. :)      

  

August 6th 2019

  I had a follow-up with Dr. Rathfoot today and it went well. He said those 2 tumors disappearing was a miracle. After the appointment, Denise brought me home and I went to Radiation, only 5 more left to go to. It will be the end of the month when I start Infinsy? I have to do that for a year every other week.

  My bleeding is mostly just spotting now and I seldom run a fever. Denise still doesn't want me in public since my blood work is probably next to zero now, the last one wasn't good at all. I'm still tired but I'm finally pulling out of a 3-day slump. Hopefully, from here I will grow in strength. I did walk to the mailbox one day, about 400 foot.     

August 4th 2019

   I woke up at 5:30 this morning and by 6:30 put my teeth in and ashed the dishes. I felt extremely tired so I went back to bed. I slept until about 4:30pm waking up only long enough to take a pain pill. I washed my hair and removed the bandage today, I have 4 holes in my skull from the frame they put on me. Seeing how the tumors were gone it was worth it, I do believe a miracle just happened. It felt good to bathe and wash my hair, what little I have left.

  Today and tomorrow are the worse two days after chemo Wednesday, so I was expecting this. It has once again hit the kidneys despite my increase in water. I'll go back the 16th to have another MRI done and make sure they are gone forever.    

August 2nd 2019 Tumors AWOL

So we went to the Thompson Cancer Survival Center and was going to burn out 2 tumors that 3 doctors saw. They put the basic frame on my head, screwing it as best we could figure 1/4 inch into my skull. The shots hurt and there was pressure even with being numb that was a dull pain which didn't last too long. I was ready to go to get their extremely accurate MRI. I laid on a table and the thing on my head locked into place and back into the MRI I went.

   That thing was loud. For the surgery you can bring CDs to listen to, I brought Casting Crowns and Mercy Me. I never got to listen to either of them as the Surgery did not happen. The doctors could not find the Tumors. They simply were not there. I take it as a miracle. So I came home wrapped up with the bandages covering 4 screw holes in my skull. I'll take that any day.   

I'll take that any day.

August 1st 2019

  I have been meaning to write this a few days ago but just haven't. Already I have watched everything worth watching on TV, including Netflix, Kodi, and Prime. So this will be a summary of the last days. Since my last post, I was in bad shape until yesterday when I finally felt decent. Maybe too much so since I put the electrical boxes in the Grillzebo. That didn't go over well.

  I have noticed with the heat I stay high on my O2 levels, sometimes as high as 95, but my heart rate is always about 120, sometimes 130. Today they will switch me back to Metropol from the other one that also controlled my BP as it drops my BP too low. We're talking passing out too low. Cardivol I think the name is. I lost weight now I'm gaining weight but my belly doesn't show it so I'm thinking it is muscle. I weighed 235lbs, up in just 3 days from 231lbs. It was a different scale.  

  I looked at my blood work online and my Plalets are extremely low, and that was before yesterday's chemo. I'm sure they are even lower now. I had a temperature this morning Denise noticed. I'm off balance somewhat or as mom use to say, Swimmy Headed. But today I felt good and today's radiation made 25, only 8 more left unless he adds some. So I added a rail in the Grillzebo to hang some stuff on, hopefully, Denise won't notice. I was going to go by there and she said no, 1 sneeze or 1 handshake could land me in the hospital, so I didn't go.

We finally got a replacement for Puppy and may have figured out what might have killed her. There have been Bears all around us lately. I ain't past shooting one and ain 't that sick. We ended up with a Puppy and Taz approves. She is sweet and smart, always chewing on something and always exploring.

Tomorrow I am nervous about and oddly enough more about the pain that will come with the Gamma Knife. I have no doubt that they can safely burn the tumors out but just in case I gave Denise instructions that if I have brain damage that they cannot repair or will not repair in time to not save me. I have no desire to be a burden on anybody, especially my family.

   Humana sent me a price list of what I need to pay and what I didn't after I called and asked them about the 1984.00 bills UT sent me on the Biopsies. I didn't owe a penny of that. They billed the codes wrong and all they needed to do was resubmit the procedures under the correct codes.

July 27th 2019

   This is a morning post. I must have wanted something to tell them about subconsciously with the fall yesterday then last night I fell out of bed. My bed strikes me waist high so it is a long way down. Going by the bruises and swelled up places I managed to hit my forearm, hip, knee again on the lower wood rail. More bruises have emerged from yesterday's fall and I pulled out some wood that had went in the arm, but maybe I already told that. I am still out of balance, vertigo, just not as bad as yesterday.

   So far this morning I could not go back to sleep but I did blackout a few times, never for long so I feel like I haven't rested. I went outside and checked the birds, cats, and donkeys from the yard. As soon as we get more feed unloaded off the truck I will take a Mineral Block and a Sulpher Block to the cows. I also checked the Aquariums and fed the new fish I bought yesterday. I will probably try to vacuum out 2 tanks today. For now, I'm going to sit down before I fall down.    

July 26th 2019

  Well, today was a tad memorable... maybe. I saw a guy that according to Denise when I told her I found out what kind of cancer he has told me for the third time. No wonder he was in such a hurry to walk away at Harbor Freight. Odd place for us to meet I know.

  I went to Radiation today and asked one of the ladies that works the machine and lines me up it about Radiation Cream. I showed her my back which Denise said last night was bad and that I needed to ask. Shocking that I actually remembered to do it, but I did. She said she had set up where I could meet with Dr. Anderson 's Assistant (not what they are called but hey, I'm doing the best I can), after radiation if I could just wait a while. I asked her what the stuff was, thinking it was mainly a cream that helps the skin with the damage of the radiation. For those who have never had it, it burns and leaves your skin looking much like a sunburn, feel that way too. This has Lidocaine in it to numb the skin, but I don't feel the skin. I feel the bones, the muscles and for sure the spasms, just not the skin. While that may sound crazy it isn't. I have a Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma first diagnosed officially 7-1-2009 as CTCL, I have the Mycosis Fungionoids. That stands for Cutaneous T Cell Lymphoma, you probably saw that on the news. Don't let nobody fool you, it gives you no moment of peace and yes, it is painful. So I explained to her the deadening of feeling from the skin, or maybe just learning how to ignore it until it hits a certain pain level, who can say for sure which. To show her I showed her my knee, complete with 2 patches of skin drug off from the morning fall. In the end, I told her I would just wait until Monday when we met with him since I was in no pain at the moment. It was nice of her to set up the meeting.

   So about this morning. Dr. Flanders always asks if I had any falls and this time I can say yes. I went out this morning to check the status on the Guinea keets that just hatched out and were with their parents, the cats here stalk them. The cats had, as I suspected, moved in around the Guineas in an attempt to separate them from the keets. I hissed loud that that made all but one cat retreat, but she wasn't going anywhere. I saw some rocks and grabbed a handful and tossed them towards the cat. Still, she didn't move. So I went toward her with another handful and this time I would throw them harder. I know the small fence was there, it has been there two years now, yet I failed to acknowledge it. I simply forgot to step over it, didn't even try. Was I too focused on the cat or just didn't connect the dots, either way, I went down. I landed hard on the concrete pavers and came down hands then forearms first, giving the crashing shock some buffer. I slammed the right knee and knew I had damaged the skin on the knee. When I landed I first had to check to see what was damaged and how bad. My arms, much to my surprise had sustained little to no damage only showing up hours later as bruises. I saw the knee and skin removed, I was ok though. Then I started to laugh at being so stupid. I came in and got back on the computer looking at receptacle covers and from 8:30am- 11:08am I must have fallen asleep or blacked out.

   The rest of the day I just ran. Harbor Freight, Rural King, TSC, Food City. I stayed busy today just running errands. Late tonight I felt something hard as I talked on the phone and in my arms was a piece of wood. I scratched it out and will attend to it in the morning.