16, November

  Beautiful day. We traveled down to UT to see the Radiologist. We were suppose to have a consolation, or so we thought with Dr Green and a Dietitian, but it turned out to be they needed more scans with my mask on. It was to last 45 minutes.

  I had already spoken with Green about my claustrophobia and the degree to which I have it as well as other doctors. Medical records also reveal how bad it is and I have even placed it on my chart. What a let down, nobody reads anything anymore. This is twice now that I have had failed tests due to this. The 1st was an MRI scan.

 One of the ladies understood while the other got pretty upset, she said that it would have been nice to know in advance. She became pretty rude. Finally I made the point that I had given everybody the heads up, but she really didn't listen. Like a student that disobeyed orders she said in a threatening way that she was calling Dr Green, which I thought was very appropriate. Dr Green decided that I should have 5 mg of Valium, they brought 10 mg of Valium. This might have worked except by this time I was already excited and my adrenalin was already flowing. 30 minutes later we tried again... unsuccessfully. So they bring me another 5 mg which also had no effect. I was getting a bit stoned and sleepy, but not enough to do that. Finally they decided to call it quits.

  I got the speech on how this MUST BE Done, which I had no doubt it didn't need to be done. I wanted for it to be done, but phobias are a weird thing. I couldn't argue with anything they said except...THEY KNEW I WAS CLAUSTROPHOBIC! I argued back finally, but i shouldn't had to argue back if it had been done right to start with.  as I told them once again, I am not medically qualified but I know me and I know my body.

  I am checking tomorrow with a Radiologist in Morristown and then Wed when I go for Chemo I will speak with Dr Panella about switching doctors. For as good as Panella is, the Radiologist isn't. A good doctor listens to his patient and is a gentle person. A good staff does the same. There were 2 of their staff that are sweet, they have retained some compassion.

  So now my Radiation is postponed. Maybe it's my fault for having a phobia, maybe for their for not listening to a patient. This was blow 2. The 1st was the running the scope down my nose, into my throat, without any numbing medicine.

  I'm no longer comfortable with this guy and my confidence is shaken in him and half his crew. If Panella will work with me, and I pray he does, I will change Radiologists. Panella is a definate keeper as is Rathfoot.