02-24-2010

The day started great. I woke up and for the first 30 minutes or so, I actually sounded like myself instead of Sling Blade. My feet and hands felt normal. For an instant, I was in good spirits. A few walks across the house though and the pain and numbness were slowly coming back. I decided to call Panella's office and request something to help rather than waiting until Friday.

  I asked to speak with Ruth but the lady said she was busy but she would take a message. I thought that sounded ok, so I asked her to ask Ruth for something to help with the Neuropathy in my feet. She asked if it was painful and I said yes. She said that she would convey the message and if something couldn't be called in that someone would call me back, otherwise something would be called in. When Denise called I told her they were probably calling in something to help with this stuff. I was amazed and let down at the same time, they had called in Loratab. This is a pain the Endocet don't touch and Morphine scrapes the surface. Loratab?

  This is a fairly common side effect of the Chemo and there are three drugs that I have read that address this stuff, none are pain killers. I thought I'd try it, who knows, maybe it acts differently. It doesn't. Denise even knows the drugs used for this condition and that is not even her field. This is their field and why, unless a break in communication would this not be known.  

  We meet with Dr Rathfoot tomorrow and I can't wait. Hopefully he will look again, not that I like that scope up my nose and down into my throat, but I feel more at ease. Friday we meet with Panella. I plan on having a heart to heart chat with him. I am really losing confidence between the last appointment and how it went and this. That is partly why I didn't go for fluids this week and seriously doubt I will be back. I admit that I thought after Chemo that the hard part was over, but I was wrong. The care I received at the start just went down the tubes suddenly. I guess I am a bit aggravated and mainly at myself.

  Maybe it is just the way I'm using my muscles but it seems to be climbing up. What started in my feet went to my ankles and then into my calves. As I say, maybe it is the way I am forced to walk when the pain sets in. It is a bit embarrassing though having to use the handicapped parking pass. Then again, it's painful if I don't. It also bothers my conscience too. What if someone who needs that place more than I comes in and I have my car parked there.