Tuesday, July 20, 2010


   I awoke decent today but in a lot of pain. I think I may be getting mom's cold and just my luck, it is in the respiratory and sinus region. For the last few days I've felt rough. The hissing, like an airline is leaking, and it is loud has came back. HBOT was one of the hardest yet, I was already about to throw up before I got there and it got worse as we pressurized. Thank God it was a good movie, Cinderella Man. I would not have watched it on my own but it turned out to be an excellent movie, one of the best ones I have seen and it helped me to focus. I almost asked several times to come out.

  Me and Charlie ate and discussed his upcoming heart cath, I think I filled him in pretty well, had a bunch of those, lol. Nobody was happy that I drove myself down yesterday, but I made it. The Chemo has left me where I fall asleep, almost like pass out easily, but I know the warning signs. He will be absent when he has his heart cath and I plan to drive myself then. far to long have I been a burden.

  I slept today after I got home and tonight I will have no problem sleeping more. Again I meant to change the oil in the truck and again it didn't happen, lol. Maybe tomorrow. My throat is so tight inside tonight it is hard to breathe and enough break through pain I resorted to about 10mg of Morphine. My God that sounds like a lot yet it barely eases it off. I think I will be in for a Hell of a ride when the patches come off.

  I still get frustrated that I cannot do what I want and what I once did. How is all this junk suppose to get done? How did I do it all before? I failed at doing all the gardens, I was in hopes that I could do enough so that if this is my last season everybody would have plenty of food stored. One thing is for sure, they all have eaten Tomatoes and Cucumbers till they were full. At least they will have enough seed for net year and some to share if I am not here. We will find out August 12th if it is gone or not. I pray it is for I could not physically, mentally, or emotionally withstand any more. If it ain't, I pray I go fast.

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