Friday, February 5, 2016

2-6-2016

  Well I'm sitting here in my bedroom again, brings back not so easy times memories. I don't write a lot on here these days, just noticed the people following have dropped  to the 70s from over 100. Eventually I will cease all together on this blog, but it has helped me greatly. I am able to say things I could never say face to face, things felt but seldom if ever spoken. I write as if nobody will read it and oddly enough it helps me get out suppressed feelings, an effect I never considered when I started.

  I got an intestinal bug and I think maybe pneumonia. This high dose of Prednisone has several drawbacks but also advantages. I at least can breathe semi normal and for now HBOT and surgery is off the table. I go for a follow-up with Rathfoot next week and it scares me that I actually feel good about the results. Usually I worry about the results, so hopefully I'm not just feeling good wrongly.

  The Prednisone has several drawbacks. I have gained a lot of weight, and I mean a lot of weight. If we went to the beach they'd probably try to push me back in thinking I beached myself. lol. I have skin like rice paper so if I bump something I either bruise or bleed. We work on something I usually have the oh no you've cut yourself bad comment. I've gotten to where I pay little to no attention to the blood. The cows got out the other day and me and Denise had to get them in, easy done, then repair the fence, not so easy done. They went through briers, so I looked like I have been in a slasher money. It also brings about aggression. Do a lot of prayer and Bible study, but the good parts. Maybe the weight gain but fatigue seems to be a side effect. Keep in your mind though the benefits over the drawbacks.

  We watched the movie "90 Minutes In Heaven". It was a hard movie to watch, I think it hit way to close to home. I think Don had it worse physically than I have had, but those long days of what seemed to never end and pain that can't be described. I looked from time to time and Denise was in tears, honesty I wasn't until Don talked about his experience, then I lost it. For the first time it shows what one really goes through spiritually and emotionally. If I get to speak with him again I will ask if he was able to go through the gate, but it seems he was stopped. I wasn't allowed to cross the river. In some ways I think it would be good for all to experience and yet in some ways I pray nobody has to experience it. All I can say is it will show you that what you do, especially for or to others, matters greatly. It also shows you you are loved, even when you and the world don't love, you are loved. I try and keep that part of my life separate from the cancer blog, but in truth, they are together. It makes a difference knowing you do not lose, you win, no matter the outcome. In those darkest hours, when you are alone and without strength to set up. Those times that hours seem like days and day like years, and your spouse has to work and nobody is there to catch you if you fall. It helps to know that someone is there, even if you don't see them, He sends ones there. That is one reason I declined talking with TED, who wanted just the cancer part without faith. I'm not saying one cannot do this battle without faith, but it does make it easier, a light in a dark space in one's life sometimes is all we need to find out way out.      

5 comments:

Christina Almeida said...

Hey Anthony, I am really sorry I have not checked this blog spot of ours that I really like. Never give up on this blog no matter if the number of followers goes down. It is for you to write what is going on & you just might get others to your blog when they do a search about the subject of your blog.
Hope you are feeling better. How did your follow go earlier this month? Glad to hear no surgery or HBOT. I know the Predisone(did not remember how to spell this word) does a number of things to your body. Unfortunately lowers your immune. Just to let you know I have not forgotten you are writing a book. How is that going? I'd definitely buy it. The caner road without faith would make the journey so lonely and frustrating. Spirituality is so important. I know I am not alone, and I know you are not either. When I finally felt that I never am alone, I broke down with tears of relief and happiness. I can not tell you why you and others go down these roads, but what I do know that there is a reason. God knows what that is, and I believe you are have become a stronger person for that. Yet I know that is not the only reason you are going through your road. I just always pray for you. Those times you are tired then rest, get better and somehow please be happy.
You know I have not gone through your rough journey. When I remember you like I see a posting on facebook or when I call my nephew Anthony (you and him having the same name) I always say a little prayer. I have been emotional worrying about my pops and mom a lot lately. Today I was in one of those sad, kinda wondering what I was going to do with my pops stress. I got an angelic message I know came from angel, guardian angel perhaps, that said to me "God does not give us more in this life than we can handle, and it life gives us more than we can handle, God gives us people to help us". That helped me tremendously. I love God, and I thank him for his help with angels. I also have been serious about going to the support group for dementia. My dad needs me to learn and he needs me to be a rock when he needs me.
I will continue on the next comment

Christina Almeida said...

(Continued) I was on the road last week, and I got a little irritated when a kid kinda cut me off. I was angry, but when I turned off that road I had a car in front of me on its back window that said "God Always Provides". and I knew God was sending a message. Not about the kid cutting me off, but I guess in that moment that I was worrying about getting to my appt on time. I also have been reading "Proof of Heaven" and now "Map of Heaven". I love this book!!! I read this book and I know the words are so true. It is like I have heard these thoughts before. While I was reading the book this idea came to me that I finally asked my mother respectively about the child she lost before my brother and me. I asked her what she was going to call her daughter when she was born. She said it was a miscarriage and did not know it was a girl or boy, but since I was a kid I knew it was going to be a girl. I said to myself many times how my life would be if my big sister was around. I came to think she was one of the people looking after me. Interesting huh? Also I noticed that the homes where our family lived in in the bay area all added up to the number 17. All the house numbers. When we moved near Sacramento, I also noticed that all the house numbers equaled 14. I guess with other experiences that I have had, I know life in some cosmic way has a plan for us. There is no such thing as coincidences. What I guess we notice is a divine connection. Have you noticed any coincidences that has happened to you? You know when I was in the doctor's office this past Monday, the reading on the blood pressure machine was 119/69. It was my birth date. 119 was the month and day and 69 was for the year I was born. I still do not know what that incident meant, but I knew I would figure that out sometime later.

Well I think I have burdened your eyes with so much I said. I wish you well as always. Say Hello to Denise and of course I wish her and your family well too. Keep your blog going. It is a great one.

anthony7 said...

Hi Christina, thank you for the prayers. On your dad's dementia, Coconut Oil, they say that helps a lot with that and other cognitive functions. It has no taste of it;s own or any smell at all.

I bought a couple of books lately by Dr Michael Heisner (spelling ?) He is a Bible Scholar and interesting to hear speak. The Unseen Realm is one of them. He seems also nice.

I've had my book written for quite a while now, Misty proof read it and told me the corrections. I just haven't sent it to Amazon, they may not even want it now. I was working on a second one and part of the conditions they had was it wouldn't be available anywhere else. I started making a draft on my website, thought it was hidden but over 7100 people found it, lol. They may not want that one.

I hope and pray this blog helps others know what to expect and care givers what to do. That was my main goal and unexpectedly I think it helped me as well. I write often what I would not say and a load is lifted off.
God Bless, Anthony

Christina Almeida said...

Hey Anthony,

I will try to incorporate coconut oil. Every little bit helps. The support group I am going to says I should get a social worker involved & get my dad tested. I am trying to get my mom to go to the next support group so she can help me a little with him. I am not alone & I know God is walking with me so everything is going to be alright. I will look up Dr. Heisner, and see his book.

I will look keep your name also in mind when I am looking for a book from Amazon. Well in regards to your latest visit with Dr. Rathfoot, I am glad you are not getting any surgery or HBOT treatments. It's great your predisone has decreased a little. When you said Wolfman Jack, you reminded me of my uncle, my mom's youngest brother, who looked like wolfman jack to me. Take good care of yourself Anthony. God Bless & YES you have not lost ground.

anthony7 said...

Thank you Christina. On the Coconut Oil, a lady (a Doctor) found this out by accident. She used the Coconut oil on her and her husband's salads. It has no taste at all. She noticed improvements pretty quick, which shocked her. I think she was more or less just trying to make it easier for him to swallow. Though not cured, it greatly helped him. Her story is here https://www.ihealthtube.com/video/dr-mary-newport-coconut-oil-alzheimers-treatment .

Meanwhile, I will keep you and your family in my prayers. You are correct, we never face anything alone if we just ask, He will be there. God Bless...