Tuesday, March 9, 2010


Turned out to be another beautiful day. I started early this morning on taxes, helping mom with BPOs and entering her listings in the board, then someone called and said it was warn outside. I finished painting the bed on Big Ugly. But before I did I called and talked with Ruth who was to talk with Panella and call me back. Well, that was about 9am and it's now 11pm and still no word.

It keeps ringing in my ears when we talked about these anxiety bursts and he said dig a ditch because I was a very active person. That is all well and fine and I'd love to but it is just a little impossible without balance and feet that are numb yet the bottom is so painful you can't hardly walk. Tonight Denise and I are at odds. I say if blood work is all he is going to do I have no need to go back, I can get that anywhere. I'm not just urked, I'm in pain and pissed. Pain pills don't touch it and the meds aren't working, not that he even offered them. I reach a similar point with Vanderbilt, except I didn't like what they wanted me to do next. TESB is not my idea of fixing anything... but I could be wrong. I think next week's visit I will push for the CT scan to see if my lymph nodes are clear, that's all I really need to visit. Again I can get that from elsewhere too if need be.

The CTCL is going wild and I think this is the worse attack I've had in the almost 5 years since it was diagnosed. Beat one and feed the other, lol. As long as I have my hair when I leave, lol.

Yep, I'm disappointed and not in a good mood. Thank God I have Sally, Kim, and Sal to talk to today, they are my islands. I still say that if Kim ever opens her a practice count me in.

My muscles are sore, something I haven't felt in a long time...a good thing. It means I building back up.

Talked again to NG and come to find out the guy coming over is one of the producers. They have been so nice.

Sorry, maybe mood swings are part of this. Denise knows though that if I make a decision to say enough like I did almost 5 years ago I will stand by it. She said that my B17 is out of date, but I don't see a date, then again, I don't speak Spanish, lol. I should have tried it years ago but the molecules kind of worried me.

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