Tuesday, March 16, 2010


Been a day. I stayed at the office until about 1130am when Denise called and caught me, lol. That was an early lunch and totally unexpected. The pain level has been on about a 9 today so I've took about 10mg or morphine twice today. Unfortunately I forgot tonight and took 15mg too close to the 10mg. I'm not sure how that will do with the 25mg patch. I brought the oxygen in just in case. I also looked up the signs to look for and antidote, not that I'll be awake for it. I'll either wake up here or there. I am pain free for the most part tonight and it feels good for a change. Breathing is a bit labored though. I think in the hospital I had 75mg patch and four times a day when my neck was cleaned and dressed I was given 30mg of morphine 30 minutes before before they started. Then again, I was use to it and I had oxygen and watched, a bit different, lol. Guess I'll stay up few hours and do some paperwork for mom, just to make sure. I ain't the brightest bulb on the tree but I have this memory problem lately. Chemo fog? I am so over this.

The pain has radiated to my ears again except this time plural from the swelling. On a good note, the pain in my feet is tolerable so 1800mg of the whatever it's called (600 mg x3 per day)is good enough for me, I see no reason to go higher. I'm even mastering the balance loss and what makes me lose balance for the most part.I can't help but laugh at myself when I bust my butt, but it doesn't happen much.

The swelling and redness is pretty noticeable. I visited Matt & Misty and she mentioned I was swollen and the red. It's nothing like the inside feels. I didn't get to see dad today, but Denise offered to take me. I have updated his page tonight but I waited for the latest news since the first news wasn't good. He is holding his own, man is he ever tough. I have seen him fight through worse and come out of it. I pray that God allows him to do so this time. That has to be the hardest thing, seeing him there and he is aware. His mind is still functioning perfectly. He speaks, laughs, talks (as best he can), and knows... yet his body just isn't cooperating. He had a very bad and rude nurse yesterday but last night and today, and tonight...good ones. I have no idea why a nurse would stand over somebody, repeat his age, tell how bad he is, and give the impression he probably won't make it. She said she had been there 24 years. I worked at UPS for that same length of time and treated every package like it was the first, most important one. It would seem to me that should one become that burnt out they would take a break or find something else.

1 comment:

kim said...

I am glad your feet are doing better with the neurontin. I don't think the extra pain pill will do you in; you should probably be on more anyway but you are apparently a little stubborn when it comes to pain meds :), but I'm impressed.

As for nurses, being in the same place for 24 years is the problem. I have changed jobs as often as some people change underwear (well, maybe not that often); and most of the time I changed because I was losing my compassion in the job I was in. Nurse face so much death and trauma that we build up a wall that sometimes keeps us from having any compassion at all. When I was in ER, I knew it was time to go when nothing impressed me anymore. I will blog on this sometime soon. Could take a while. In the meantime, let me apologize for rude nurses everywhere...there's no excuse for not moving on to do something else, there are still plenty of nursing jobs out there.