09-19-2010

  Update. I still haven't started the throat cancer blog yet but I'm thinking calling it Head & Neck Cancer Blog. Thoughts anyone?

  Things are going decent. I still wear down easily but I'm working at stamina. I've kept busy working on the Chicken Coop, so far, it's took far longer than I use to be able to build it, have to take a lot of breaks. Speaking of breaks, broke one toe so far, lol. Not exactly sure how or when. It could have been carrying the 2x4s of the few times I've about fell off the ladder. Thought I'd broke my thumb but I think I just bruised the bone, it still works. This is when having neuropathy really helps, lol. It does hurt some when I step on the toe, lol.

  My hair is still curly. I wouldn't mind if it stayed that way. My saliva glands are trying to work, but not quite there yet. I'm still using a funky looking hat and sunscreen on my neck. At this stage there are good and bad days but the good days are beginning to equal the bad ones and that is a good thing. Before you know it they will pass the bad days. I'm working on building back strength and muscle. Muscle was the first thing to go. My voice comes and goes for better or worse. I watch spicy foods, and most that I use to eat that I thought wasn't spicy is now.

  I've attempted to stabilize my weight, note the word attempted, lol. As my taste slowly comes back I eat more and more. Still no (you might want to set down on this one) Dr Peppers. I do like the Throwback Mt Dews though.

  I never thought I'd be here at this time last year. Then I wondered how I would be if I was here. I'm back to getting sweaty and dirty... love that. I see what ramifications this has had and the toll it took on not just me, but my family, friends, house, and farm. I have so very much to do. I went up on the farm this weekend and didn't recognize it, weeds were everywhere. That will take a while to get back into shape. When the heat dies back a bit and I'm done with the coop, I really need to bushhog the farm badly. The cows all greeted me, a bit too much, lol. I got licked and butted, knocked down and loved. They haven't seen me but once in a year, but they remembered me. The work to be done looks overwhelming now and I wonder how I done all that before, yet I pray I will be able to do it again. It is nice to be needed. I thank God for everyday.

  I know there are a few that read this, especially one, that has the same kind or similar throat cancer I had and in the same stage. Have faith. Have faith in God, in your ability to heal through the ones that God has brought you to and surrounded you with. Bear in mind that it is up to Him and that you are not being punished, tested, or anything else. Win or lose, fight the good fight, but never walk alone. That is our choice. We can fight and ask for help, or fight alone. I have no idea why I am breathing, that is two cancers and a heart attack. Live, love, laugh, each day as if it were your last. We are all dieing from that first breathe we take in this world. Some of us are blessed enough to realize it.