11-17-2010

Well, good lessen today. No More Hot Dogs with Chili. My throat was feeling a bit better, breathing was getting a bit better, and then boom ...a stroke of pure stupidity came over me and I ate not one but two hot dogs. Tonight my throat has been hurting a bit more than usual but not as much as it did.

Today the neuropathy is better than it has been. Maybe thinking missing a dose a couple of times each day may have attributed to it. I still think though that the pressure that builds before a rain along with dampness has some effect on it.

The Chemo Fog, Chemo Brain, whatever one calls it seems worse these last few days. Not that being 50 helps any, lol. I have been somewhat worried though. Not that I'm the brightest bulb on the tree but I've really pulled some doozies. I had two nights of very little sleep but last night slept like a baby and about 6 hours too. No nightmares or dreams, just sleep.

I have a few friends that I talk to on the web and lately added another friend, Dea. She will be on the same show the same night that we will. Seems a very nice lady. She wrote a book about her experience and mailed me a copy. I hope to start it this weekend. Then I talk with Cathy, a good friend that researches the same stuff that I do, also a nice person. Then Sally, whom I have talked to for years and consider one of my best friends on earth. She has CTCL too. I can't help but laugh sometimes at Denise. If Sally hasn't wrote before she goes to bed that is the first thing she does, check the email. I think this is Sally's second Thanksgiving without Aubra, he also had CTCL. It is our first one without dad here. Last year at this time I was looking so forward to eating, it hit right between Chemos. I didn't figure on keeping it down, couldn't taste it physically... but I remembered the taste.

Denise often asks why I don't get mad very often. The kids I drive up the wall with never let the sun go down on you mad. I had been told that by Annie and Papa, think we all were. Life is too short without wasting time on being mad. Spoken words cannot be unspoken for even if the offended person forgives they will ring out in your mind and life guarantees nobody the next breath. What God gives us is each other for only that breath with no guarantee that we will have time to undo that which we regret later. No guarantee there will be another happy moment and moments are just that moments. We choose how we will spend them.