03-30-2011

   I went again yesterday to Dr Stelzman to get fitted. The first fitment of the frame was Monday. The frame sat down good but I really couldn't tell what it was and a mold was made from what looked like wax or something then something else that felt like playdo was squirted in. Yesterday it had and looked like the real thing. They put it in and he lined it up, it felt and looked great. Dr Stelzman wasn't liking the way two of the teeth looked after the adjustment and sent it off with the proper adjustments to be made. I'm suppose to get it tomorrow.

 From the looks of it I can't wait. I may just go ahead after the test next month and get the uppers done. Part of me just wants a time with no pain though, or at least no more than usual, which is tolerable most of the time, more of a nuisance. I am so excited though. I wasn't sure just how well I would like wearing them but I don't think I have ever been so tickled in all of my life to get something. This is definitely one of the top 10 best moments of my life. I spent the last two years with 6 or less teeth on the bottom, thank God they were in front. I think I had maybe 5 left? The last two days I have 2 on the bottom, the I teeth, one on each side. Denise has been making soft meals and I squish the food on the roof of my mouth with my tongue to eat, but with my weigh these days it's not like I'll starve to death anytime soon. :) Man it looked great.

  Again, I have a great doctor with a great staff. Dr Stelzman took the time to tell me all about how it would work, future expectations and adjustments. He wasn't on our insurance plan but then again, I knew them from delivering to them for years, plus I've been going there for a long time. I think they are worth the extra price that I will pay. I've gotten to where I despise the way insurance companies work these days. I've talked with many people and you get what you pay for, even though they are cheaper there than a lot of places. They are all perfectionists and take a lot of pride in their work.

  As for Charlie, he still has no date set yet. Covenant Health might want to take notes on their care from UT and St Mary's. Watching how they are dragging their feet with him, I thank God everyday for my doctors and the hospitals I go to.

  In case I didn't say it, no matter how it turns out. Thanks to Doctors: Rathfoot, Panella, Green, & Schindler, their staffs, and UT, St Mary's. A huge thanks to Kim, I know you are technically not my doctor, but should you ever decide to open a practice, I be the first one there.   

03-27-2011

  Had a few set backs the last few days. I may have found my apex on what I can do. My throat feels like someone squeezing on it and breathing is all but impossible. I think maybe I may have overdone. The acid reflux over this past week hasn't helped either. I had Megan out of school for a week for Spring Break and we worked. We talked a lot too and that played a factor. We did hit Yoder's Market and Sams yesterday though, then I went to Glen & Pam's wedding. It was beautiful.

  Tomorrow I go to the dentist for my framework? I hope that means that soon I will have my partial. The plastic bridge is broken on both ends, has been for a while, and Gorilla Glue is holding it on.

  Charlie is to have surgery and they still don't know much more than they did as to when or what or even if there is even any Lymph Node activity. I thank God for Rathfoot, Panella, and Green. And for UT and Saint Mary's. They got on the ball with mine.

  Next month is the test again to see if mine is gone. With the way this past few weeks have gone it worries me.

03-22-2011

Megan helped me downstairs today. She caught on fast, but I wasn't too fast myself. I had a bit of a time breathing today so I took my time, but we made some progress. She got me in trouble tonight, told Denise about a spell I had that hit in my heart (racing) and clear through the back and left kidney. I didn't use Nitro though, just rested until it passed.

  After that I decided to take the rototiller and do two gardens... one was really still too wet. Naturally Denise went off. Larry & Trenda with their son came over on their bikes and visited. They were headed to the Smokies.

  Charlie got his news today. The type of cancer he has will not respond to radiation or chemo, so they are going to surgically remove it at Vanderbilt. Here is the ironic part. It was Charlie who helped me make it through without having to take a Peck Tube or Trake... he will have to have both. But then he will be done. I am so relieved that he escaped chemo and radiation. He is scared and would rather have the opposite done. From what I've been told he will be down just briefly, and with none of those side effects you have with chemo and radiation. Thank God. Now if we could just get him to see it. I told him God willing, I'll grow enough cucumbers and tomatoes for him this summer and when it comes out, he can pig out. So I added the old garden and I'm going to get the other one ready too. I'm thinking maybe strawing around the plants since I know I can't do what I am about to attempt the regular way of hand weeding.

You can see the dampness on the old wall behind as well as the break in the foundation due to water. 

03-21-2011

Decent day today, but slowing down. If I can get in 1 more decent day before the rain I'll like it better.

03-18-2011

Happy 22nd Anniversary Denise! Yea, I know you will come up here and see if I posted this. :)

  If also marks 1 year dad's passing.

03-15-2011

  First day I've been up and alert in almost 2 days. Yesterday I slept all the way through this morning with the exception of a few times I briefly woke up. I think my system already being down and then using that deodorant and having a reaction to it took me the rest of the way down. The only thing different was that it had Zinc. I've tried finding the same one we found a while back that didn't contain Aluminum in it and didn't smell like a skunk in heat. I haven't forgotten the doctors telling the ladies in the Chemo Hut to make sure they did not use deodorant with Aluminum. Hint to manufacturers, most men do not like to smell like a skunk ape! Hint to guys that wear 1.99 per gallon skunk ape Cologne don't turn ladies on, especially on the arm pits. Peppe Le Pew was a cartoon character. So today I'm up so far, but weak. The swelling in my armpits, face, and neck have went down almost to normal after tons of Benedryl pills and cream.

  Charlie had his biopsy yesterday and his results will come later this week. They do know that the type of his throat cancer isn't the Squamous Cell Carcinoma like mine, but his treatment plan will be similar. That breaks my heart. I know that what he about to enter is nothing short of Hell on earth. There has to be a better way than this. We can put a man on the moon, vehicles on Mars, a 100 year old man an erection, but we can't find a cure for cancer, diabetes, and MS? Where does that place our priorities as a people? Charlie also has diabetes but has controlled it with his diet and occasionally I think a pill. My heart just breaks for him and all the other people who have to go through this, and that includes the care givers as well.       

Amazing Grace - Rhema 7yr old Gospel singer plz "Share"

03-11-2011

Down yet again today, much worse than the previous two days. I've been getting maybe 3 hours of sleep a night for the last 3 or 4 nights. I think being without any moisture yesterday also increased the problem, but that was my fault. I went to the dentist to have the caps fitted and take the impression of my upper and lower. Time and time again they asked if I was alright and I shook my head yes, thinking it would only be a few more minutes. They made a slot for me so I was there over 2 hours and by the time it came to rinsing out my mouth, before they could suction the water back up I swallowed it, the next squirt too. It felt so good.

  Today I broke down and took a pain pill. First one since my extractions, I had left overs. Denise tried to get me to call Rathfoot but I declined. Last night she wanted me to take a pain pill but I absolutely hate the way they make me fill. Finally tonight though I caved in. I have little to no voice.

  I think Kim may have an excellent point. I did wear a mask inside the basement but I took it off to mix the cement. I know I developed an allergy to any type of cement a few years back, funny, I worked in it for 2 1/2 years with no problem and played around laying block, rock, and tile with no problem. Then all the sudden something changed. Left side of my face is numb on the outside and the left side of my throat I wish would be numb inside too. It has swelled enough to give a referral pain in the left ear. Pieces of some kind of whitish, grayish pieces come loose occasionally. Have no idea what they are though and I done that before.

  Called to tell Charlie to gargle with warm salt water to ease his pain, then figured I'd do some of my own medicine, lol. That is where the pain pill came in, shortly there afterward. I wanted not to call him again today since I have very little voice, it strains to even breathe, and he don't need anything else to scare him. Next week is his biopsy.

  Note to self. Make sure the throat is always lubricated.   

03-08-2011

  Paying for the last two days of active. Tonight and all through the day my throat has swelled on the left side making it hard to breathe. The left side of my jaw and down my throat is numb, feels like when you go to the dentist type of numb. Pain in talking so I actually didn't talk much today. Denise looked and felt tonight and it is visible on the left side and she can feel it as well. I've just kind of chilled today. I did put 2 light fixtures up at mom's and 1 at Misty's, but that was it.  I haven't slept well in the last 3 nights, maybe that is the fatigue. Tomorrow I need to feed the cows, maybe fresh air will help. Denise wants me to call Rathfoot to make a new appointment. After checking it out she feels something needs to be done, especially since the meds aren't working.  It could be the concrete, I have an allergy to it when it is dry. Hopefully not, I'm too slow already and have a lot to go.

  Charlie came back yesterday and hung out for a while. He is in pain and having a hard time eating and breathing. We went over what foods I done ok with swallowing and what stood a better chance of aspirating. He gets choked on his own saliva, I done that too when I had saliva. I'm trying to convince him that he will probably have a better go at it than I did and that we know what errors were made and what to look out for. We didn't have a clue when I went through it. We can do better this time.

03-01-2011

   I goofed off a bit more today getting little done. I didn't do what I was suppose to do which was call Rathfoot and give a report if the new meds are working. I think I'm procrastinating. The meds show no effect on the swelling which seem to be increasing. It may have been getting out yesterday in that rain, who knows? Sounds good though. :). I'm kind of tired and breathing is hard to do lately, so I goofed off. Drug some of Mark's driveway and mine with the tractor. It equated to flying a 747 into the Grand Canyon and trying to fill the hole, lol. 

  Charlie was gone when I went over but when he came back he stopped in and we talked. He is scared. He remembers taking me back and forth and what I went through. I told him that he would be like Michael Douglas who never lost any hair or got over burned. We know how to watch the radiation thing this time so he will be fine. He said he gained about 25lbs making me eat by taking me to Shoney's where we would eat to keep my weight from dropping too low. I told him now he would be able to pay me back as I would be taking him there. I manage to make him laugh and smile a little and for a moment his worries were gone.

  He talked about what and how I ate without aspirating and how I kept from smothering which is good, he is already figuring angles. His fears and mental anguish though come from the same as mine. We have both always been active physically and now can't do what we want to do, plus be independent like we have always been.  Even a small chore can wear you out. Other than Mark, Charlie and I are the last two who can do whatever needs to be done.I told him that is why we both needed to be here, if nothing else to teach at least one, if they are willing to learn. It is still depressing though, not being able to do what you know how to do. Charlie loves to work with wood, and he is good at it too. Me, him, dad, my father, and Joe all built my house, Denise helped me add on later on. She knows a lot, but not how to wire, plumb, lay block, work on cars. Of the ones that initially built our house only me and Charlie are left. Mark's health isn't good and so we worry who will do all this stuff when we're gone, even scarier is can we still do it. Will we be of any use? I have confidence that maybe he will. He is going to do better than I did, I just feel it.