So where are we now?

   Charlie once again has Throat Cancer but I found out since we last wrote it isn't the same type cancer, it is small cell cancer. He has good days and bad, but lately has slowed down on mowing and very little trim work. So Charlie basically has progressed to the point of semi-functioning. He makes a joke about it because he will be 80 years old this August. Tina, my biological mom I must say has stuck right there with him, and she has a plate full. William has since gone on dialysis, had a TIA, and went Septic. So that makes 2 ways she is being pulled watching, I am now once again the third way.

   So, where do I begin? This is coming in a tad late just like I started the Throat Cancer Blog. In no way do I blame anybody for this disease starting back beside me. So I guess I will start at the beginning. For a month or two I began coughing up a little blood. Over time, it became harder to hide until finally, I couldn't hide it. I had a follow-up with Dr Rathfoot and decided we'd tell him, well Denise decided we'd tell him, about the bleeding. He listened and heard a low rumble/rattle type noise. Dr. Rathfoot wanted a CT on the chest area, 3 places showed up. Could be something, could be nothing, except they all would turn out to be something. This was done May 3rd, 2019, the start of it all. Dr. Rathfoot got me lined up with another doctor which passed me to yet another doctor who passed me to his partner. Meanwhile the Oncologist I was told I would see also changed. So now you can probably see why testing seemed to go on forever. UT Hospital dropped the ball, and I was the ball. 

   The words that Dr Panella said to me about how head and neck cancer follow the "Tree" Head, Throat, Lungs rang through my head. I have started and stopped smoking 1000 times since the Throat cancer, but I started 1001 times. I've noticed some things more since I have quit this time, quit smoking Cold Turkey. Now I have to ask myself, why does a company that makes their money want you to quit? Easy answer, they don't. 

   Back to the story: UT Hospital still had no course of action planned in over a month. During that time they did a CT, Pet Scan of the body, a CT assisted lung biopsy coming in the back. I didn't understand why they did the lowest tumor in the right lung using a bioscopy and not the left.... 2 weeks later? Why wait? 

   As we got in Denise Jeep we started out back to UT Hospital, they had called us back saying come to the ER, not to them. It hit me as we went up the driveway and I told Denise I would not make the trip, I simply was in so much pain that I would not be breathing that long. She offered to go back and call 911, but I knew if I laid down there would be no getting back up. She said Morristown Hamblen Hospital or Jefferson Memorial, I picked Morristown Hamblen. I was out of breath as we entered the ER, lucky for us we were it. She explained to the Nurse and they told her to get me right back and Denise filled out the paperwork. They were more concerned with me that paperwork. 

   The ER Doctor walked in and nurses were everywhere working hard. They asked what kind of pain meds I was on and shocked when we said none. I told them I had bled a lot since the Bronchoscopy where he Cauterized the tumor and opened up the lower lobe of the lung.  I first thought he said it would free it up and he gave some stiff antibiotics to clear it up. 2 weeks later and I'm still bleeding but I no longer have Pneumonia bouts. The doctor and nurses cannot believe what they are hearing. I told them if the pain level would go down and I could cough some of it up some of the pressure would be relieved. They agreed and we tried Morphine, which had no effect. Then a coule of other things, they also had no effect. He used an over the counter arthritis type patch and it worked. They call UT Hospital and told them they had someone there that was their patient but was told they have been diverting patients. Could that have been the reason I wasn't kept despite the pain after punching a hole in my lung from the back? So we stayed. 

   It is late tonight and I am stopping, but much more to come.

      

2-26-2018 It's Been a While

    It has been a while since I posted anything and a few people who read this blog asked me to update. I didn't think anybody would still read since my throat cancer is still in remission. It has been so long I don't remember if I posted about the 60 more Hyperbaric Oxygen (HBOT) treatments were done. I got to keep my hood this time, another trophy. So, what is new?

  Charlie is not doing well. His cancer was in his right lung and responded to radiation using the CyberKnife, but now it is coming back, and it has spread into his left lung. He always kept the yard immaculate and we wondered what was up, they are secretive. Tina had been mowing so far this year. Charlie is unable to mow. This stuff can come back or follow what they call the "Tree", head, throat, lungs, and his has done that.

 As for me, this may be the first year I don't have a garden. I have developed Spinal Spondylosis and have some spurs pushing on the cord of nerves. They said it was from Rheumatoid Arthritis, I'm not sure I had recorded that. With blood thinners, I cannot have the spinal injections. Chiropractors haven't helped, and even the Doctor says not to have surgery. I use a TENS Unit to help with the pain. They think the Rheumatoid Arthritis is what the Lymes Disease left and grew into, while some say playing Superman at UPS for 25 years. Who knows...

   I have remained fairly active, nothing like I once was but blessed to do what I can do. We still have cows but these days I get Mark to help with them. I bought a new Tractor, one with a cab and A/C as breathing is labored in the heat, oh, it also has heat for the winter, which seems to want to stay around. I have a handicapped plaque now, but I don't use it unless it is a very bad day, somebody else may need that spot worse than me most days. 

For those still reading, if you want to contact me please look me up on Facebook, or feel free to call me. 

   For the ones new to this blog, it runs backward, but perhaps you need to hear this. Many ask if there is some secret to surviving this, and there is. First, some will no survive, that isn't our decision. Second, Some will and the biggest secret is one that isn't popular in the mainstream, God. I know that isn't popular to say these days. Many people ask me how I can do what I do, though it pales compared to what I use to do. My answer is always the same, it is not my power that I do what I can, it is of His power that I continue until one day I don't. When that day comes, everything will not end but be perfect, but that is His decision. Have faith. Third, this isn't a punishment, though it may seem so at times. This isn't a test. This is a chance to strengthen your faith and help others not by words but by actions.      

12-16-2016

It's been a while since I posted anything so I figured a follow up was in order. I think I will also post in the musing blog as well.

  I have done ok with the cardiac rehab, I am still going voluntary. I still have some building up to do so I decided to continue, I do that three days a week. I think it is thirty dollars a month well spent. On the Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA), I still use Boswella (Frankincense), and Astaxanthin, and I will be going back to Ginger Root and Turmeric. All of these are natural, none of these cures or completely make one pain free all the time, but they do make this manageable. Oddly enough, the Prednisone I take for the swelling in my throat from the radiation damage also help with this stuff, so does the exercise. I often wear those copper braces that fit under the clothes so nobody knows anything is wrong. There is and will be pain involved with natural therapies, but one becomes use to that in time. A lot of that is covered at Dr Mercola's site at this:  http://search.mercola.com/results.aspx?q=ra 

 My follow-up with the Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma went well. It is progressing but still at a slow pace. Other than a steroidal cream I use when it hurts and a pill I take at night to keep me from tearing at my skin, I still refuse the conventional therapy. I'm ok with that. 

  Charlie's radiation was a success using the cyber knife on his lung cancer. He said they told him about five years life span and he said he smiled and said he was in his mid seventies, so thats about right. 

William has undergone open heart surgery, which was a success, but now he is on dialysis from his kidney disease. 

  So that is about it. My throat cancer is still in remission and has not relocated like Charlie's did for now. This Christmas brings back memories of the Christmas in 2009 when I shopped by having people shop for me, picking out what presents I wanted to get. I could not go out in public with little resistance. I did eventually venture out once to get Denise's Christmas. I am reminded on mom and her birthday will come December 24th, but she is in a better place now. 

  To those who read this blog or run across it and are battling something, fight for it is worth the fight. Those who have read this blog through will know I have went through what felt like Hell on earth and while there is aftermath, it was and is worth it. My grandkids will remember me and I have gotten to see them growing up. If it all ended today, it was effort well spent. Life was never suppose to be easy and through adversity one will do one of two things, grow or shrink, choose grow. Remember, if God allows us to be brought to it, He will bring us through it. For mom the outcome may have seemed she lost but in the end she actually won because her faith was restored, she fought, she grew. 

So I wish for everybody a very Merry Christmas.   
    
    
   

09-26-2016

  Well we finally have our hay bought and in the lot, ready for winter. I didn't think I would welcome cold weather but we get a lot of rain in the winters. Usually it brings out the hardest times with this arthritis, but this year has been so hot and dry, it is welcomed. I sleep in the floor more than I do in the bed this time of year.  It always takes off stress when the winter is prepared for.

09-03-2016

   It has been a while since I last posted, my computer went out shortly after the June post. I worked and worked on it and finally bought one on Ebay, used but in good shape. So now I am learning Windows 10, which is good, I just have to make adjustments in a few things. After I bought this one I was able to fix my old one, lol. It did though take me a few months to complete. When I went to school for electronics repair people didn't have computers and some people even still had tube sets. I have a lot of pictures on the drive of the old one, and I guess pictures are my most prized possession.

  I go this Tuesday for my follow-up to Rathfoot, it has been a few months. I will have to get use to that scope up my nose and down my throat again, but it ain't as bad as it sounds, plus it gives me confidence.

  As things go we got the gardens out but in the heat, and it has been the hottest and driest year I remember, I failed. I tried twice but I think I found out the hard way the heart attack left some things damaged, and I needed to heal. In the mean time we found that I have acquired Rheumatoid Arthritis. I have chose to try and manage it myself with herbs and vitamins. Boswellia has been good. Not quite the miracle they proclaim but it does help a lot. Astaxanthin is another one I take that was discovered that also, while not a cure, helps a lot. I take nothing at all for it so far aside these natural things. 

  Then, that same test revealed the Prednisone (they think) is responsible for throwing me into Diabetes. I am sure this extra weight don't help. I've went from 244 to 238 and I signed up to continue Cardiac Rehab as I can feel the improvements. I'm controlling it so far with diet and exercise. 

  Yesterday, despite a busted right knee, I put on my braces and off me and Denise went. We started out thinking a picnic in the mountains on the motorcycle, but man was Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge busy. We ended up heading to Cherokee, NC to eat and saw 2 Elk going and 6 Elk coming back. We were sore from riding but man was it ever nice. We went on a short ride last year and haven't been back since. God willing, I hope we go back soon,  this little restaurant on the strip have Brown Trout on the menu. Speaking of that, never did get to take the boat on the water this year, and the lakes now have been let down too low. God willing next year the gardens and the boat, and if not, so be it. 

Thought for today is if He can hold this world He can hold this moment. Have faith. 

   

06-15-2016

   Well this is 1 month, 10 days since the heart attack. The ladies working in Cardiac Rehab are nice and do a good job building me back. By now, with my Wolfman Jack sounding voice all know I have had throat cancer, but one knows of the Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma because she was working that day when they brought me in. She commented on how I seemed unconcerned, but I was, a little. She said first time she has seen a wife watch the surgery. I told her Denise watched the first time too, in 2005. I thought it was a compliment when she said because I was so calm it made their job easier. Somehow, and don't ask me how, I knew this wasn't my time. She commented on how I smiled during the surgery. I told her I'd seen worse, lol. Then I thanked her for the good job they all did that day, and they all did excellent.

  So today, I had blood drawn after a follow up with Deb Gronewall. I love Deb and loved her husband as well, Dr Gronewall, finer people one could not find. I chose to go to Deb since she listens, which Dr Rama doesn't do so well. He is the man you want during a heart attack, and then find another for your follow-ups. I guess we all have our specialties. My hands are and have been swollen as well as my feet. We have stopped the Lipitor, Deb thinks I was having a reaction to it. I did last time too. Then the bomb came, Rheumatoid arthritis. I have arthritis from all the damage I done to my body at UPS, and mild arthritis from the Lyme's Disease many years ago, but neither is this damning. I would rather not be crippled up later on, but that is not my decision. It does seem trivial somewhat looking at William and Charlie. William has to go on Dialysis since his kidneys are pretty much shot to have a decent chance of surviving. Charlie, this time the lungs are confirmed and it is Stage 1, but both lungs. They both prepare for Hell on earth.

   My thoughts went to what's next. The lady in Cardiac Rehab I overheard he saying the speed and incline on the walker I was doing, this far out from a heart attack was unbelievable.  If she only knew how much pain every step was to take on that machine, but I hide it well. I am blessed that my hands also have neuropathy and are numb, so I will and do not feel them much. Still, this has hit me hard. I will not beg for healing but rather than He not leave me here to be a burden on those I love. Sometimes it seems too much, then I remember I am not carrying this alone. So that is what I will ask Him for, the strength and power to be independent, not a burden on those around me. If He wants to heal me that'd be great, but if not, then  help me to overcome it and show others His power and love. Real men aren't "self made", they get their power from God and admit to that fact. It has been a real interesting year so far this year.

  

05-12-2016

Well it just occurred to me tonight that Dr Rama may send a report to Dr Rathfoot. I see Dr Rathfoot the 17th, Denise's birthday. I have to go have a check up with Rama, Town, or Deb next week. Hopefully Denise won't tell on me. The day I got out of the hospital I finished taking the starter off the lawn tractor. Monday and Tuesday the signs were right for planting stuff that is above ground, so Megan, Denise, and me all planted one of the gardens. Funny, I fired up the tractor Monday and I think everybody hear it, any other time nobody would have paid attention, lol. Today I am tired and have a little pain so I took it easy, plus it was raining, lol.

  This time they confirmed it, Charlie's cancer has followed that tree into his lungs. He will begin treatments in June after a surgery to implant gold somethings in his lungs. They will be using the Cyber Knife, I probably spelled that wrong. I think chemo too, but not sure. He has it in both lungs but they caught it at Stage 1. We spoke between us, me, him, and Tina, openly in words not shared usually unless people are survivors. He teared up and said he didn't want to die but dying isn't the worse of it, it is the uncertainty, the not knowing. That is the hardest part and I will have to agree. People who have lived so close to death that dying is easier than living realize this. This is not the "I'm so sick I could die" or that could have been fatal but rather the part where dying is easier than living for real. The part where you know you really have little to no control, and those working on you don't have much more either. The part where you are afraid to close your eyes knowing that one second of letting your guard down will cost you your life. Where seconds feel like minutes and minutes like hours and hours like days and days like years, and it seems to never end.

  To the lighter side, they saved off my chest hair and hair in places I will refrain for mentioning. Boy is this going to itch when it starts back. The chest one can scratch, the lower parts... not so much in public. It kind of looks funny, lol. If you want people to let you in front of them at a line, that'll do it, lol.