Monday, January 18, 2010


  Well after another laxative I think I'm cleaned out. Just how much weight this and the soreness of my throat has cost me we will find out tomorrow, when I see Dr Green.

  Yesterday's subject wasn't too pleasant to write about and probably not too pleasant to read either, but it had to be wrote to be honest. One pain pills you will get constipated and or impacted if you do not watch out. I learned this when I had my shoulder surgery and that was one reason I avoided pain pills as quick as I could. I should have continued to monitor myself during this but I slipped up and didn't continue to monitor as closely. 

  I have only three treatments left but it is unclear if I can do them. Between the ones of us in the waiting room we know know that the ones missing are on "vacation" again to heal up. The lady with mouth and throat cancer had another chemo and between that and radiation her white blood cell count bottomed, like mine did a while back. She and the others are in my prayers again tonight.

   My inside of my throat is still cracking open due to the lack of saliva and swallowing is all but impossible from the swelling. Drinking cold water or tea is excruciating but then again I have always heard that cold takes the swelling down. I do however drink at room temperature frequently to try and keep hydrated. I'm tempted to ask for another IV.

  The skin is already sloughing off on the phone when I talk on it... nasty. We've used the radiation cream religiously but it seems not enough. The left side of my throat is the worse, it has even caused pain in the left ear which I know from the tumor swelling, pain radiates to the ear because of the nerve in there close that the swelling outs pressure on. I tried the Sore Throat Spray that I used before I knew I had cancer, don't even think of doing that, lol.

  My gag reflexes have diminished to once again getting choked on my own spit, what little I have of it. The saliva is extremely thick and so I keep, as I always have, an empty water bottle to spit in. This time it has a greenish tinge, not sure what that means if anything. This stuff is so think you can't see through it.

  On a positive note, I have had to shave my sideburns twice now, could probably stand another right now, lol. They are 100% correct on my beard though, the hair follicles are burnt out so I will never be able to grow a beard again. Of course that also means not having to shave either, lol.

   I watered the plants in the Sunroom today and moved a couple of the banana plants that weren't ding so well around. While I was out there I took a few breaths of oxygen from the tank I brought back here from the old pet store I had. Physically it may or may not help, but mentally it does. I looked at the tail lights that Bill wired up for me yesterday on Big Ugly, he done a good job. Other than that though, I've slept. That could have been in part the Morphine. Funny how enough pain will get you over your fears.

  Being this close to done I hope Green will allow me to finish and maybe give me some tips on breathing and swallowing. I know from what I was told that what they do today continues to work for one to two weeks later, so I maybe in trouble. When I first started this blog I had hoped to be able to write all good stuff and for it to have a happy ending, I'm still hopeful of the happy ending.   

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