Saturday, February 18, 2012


  Misty came through her surgery great and in a couple of weeks should be healed and they will know if another surgery is needed.

  I busted an ankle last, don't remember if this is the first time or the second. I've debated on telling the unusual dream and way it happened. At the rate I'm going I think graceful is out of the question. I figure I'll give it another week to see if it improves. Next month I visit Dr. Panella, after a scan, plus I said I'd start Hyperbaric O2 again... maybe. I really don't want to. It is been a month, a long month. Seems sometimes when it rains it pours. Some personal issues that I won't go into. But also next month Baby will have a birthday and it will be 2 years I think since dad died, same day as our our Anniversary.  23 years this one.

  But I will end this with humor and something to ponder, as to the ankle bang. I was sleeping well. Most dreams I never remember them, actually I don't think I do dream, but this night was different. I've not had a dream like this before. I just started walking on a dirt road into a town like area like Mayberry, RFD. Now I saw no signs or anything but it felt like it. Dad was standing, smiling, glad to see me. Slowly as I approached I saw more and more loved ones. Dad was standing there, looked in his 30s. Annie and Papa were there along with Keith to the right side, then other kin slowly walked from the mist. People began to come forward toward me. I hear a couple of them. There were people who I haven't yet met, yet I know them too, and they knew me as well. They all seemed in their 30's. They walked closer to me and I them I awoke. It was great, and for some reason in black & white, like a gray scale like old TV shows were. As I got closer suddenly it felt like somebody tossed me in a spin, three times to be exact, and I felt my ankle hit twice. Once on the top of the night stand and once on the top of the humidifier. I stood the humidifier back up. It's about knee high and water was coming out onto the floor.     

  I'll eventually have to make a move with the Non Hodgkin's, one way or the other as it has expanded quite a lot this time. Thank God for Neuropathy sometimes, my feet look kind of rough and the patches have advanced to where they would hurt. Funny how sometimes what looks like curses can become blessings. Sometimes I hit a wall though and just want to scream, except I haven't that ability anymore. Maybe this is one of those stages one goes through, growing pains, except the pain is real, so is the fatigue. I think most days the thought of there are many people worse off helps keep one focused. Other times it is just words, depressing words. I heard a person on the radio say "Use me oh Lord", and I thought, believe me you don't want that. Course you could also land healthy as a horse at a beach, but that probably won't happen. Add to the bothers though is that once again we're out of hay and it is too muddy to load the calves that should have been taken last year off.  But before the dream end and could touch a force in the dream ended just as fast. I must have taken  a fast roll off the bed , from a distance. I landed about 2 ft from the Bed and relented to go back to. It felt like I flipped 3 times. I crashed either my foot or ankle on the corner of the night stand, then landed on the humidifier. I was in pain, yet nobody heard that. Somehow though I got back up and into bed, in pain but at the same time a good feeling. I started this post on the 17th but never finished it. Even now I hesitate about actually posting it. So if this don't make sense thats why. I reread the first part and it looked like primitive English. I tried to correct it and then saw later on I had explained things later. I'm going to be lazy and just post it as is. 


David said...

Hi Anthony,

I'm simply not sure what to make of the story. I don't doubt you for a second, so it must have been quite a jarring way to wake up!

You're right, by the way. I am not one of those people that say "Oh use me Lord!" because, to be completely honest, I have no idea if I could take it. I'm not foolish enough to think I have to strength to take it. However, I sure wish I had the courage to.

I admire your strength, and your courage, Anthony. You may think that I don't know the weaknesses and pitfalls you go into, but those are what MAKE you strong. You have already won; finding the Lord the way you have. You have given us all a gift in your blog, and your story. If I were to go through something similar, I pray I do it with the grace you have.

I will continue to pray for you, and your ankle!

anthony7 said...

Thanks David, I'm sure that you would come through great, but I pray that you never have to see. I agree that I have won the war, but now the battles. I guess that which doesn't kill us makes us stronger, and I hope I have become stronger. The ankle is still a problem but it's healing slowly. Steps are a challenge still, but I climb them, guess thats what counts.