12-16-2016

It's been a while since I posted anything so I figured a follow up was in order. I think I will also post in the musing blog as well.

  I have done ok with the cardiac rehab, I am still going voluntary. I still have some building up to do so I decided to continue, I do that three days a week. I think it is thirty dollars a month well spent. On the Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA), I still use Boswella (Frankincense), and Astaxanthin, and I will be going back to Ginger Root and Turmeric. All of these are natural, none of these cures or completely make one pain free all the time, but they do make this manageable. Oddly enough, the Prednisone I take for the swelling in my throat from the radiation damage also help with this stuff, so does the exercise. I often wear those copper braces that fit under the clothes so nobody knows anything is wrong. There is and will be pain involved with natural therapies, but one becomes use to that in time. A lot of that is covered at Dr Mercola's site at this:  http://search.mercola.com/results.aspx?q=ra 

 My follow-up with the Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma went well. It is progressing but still at a slow pace. Other than a steroidal cream I use when it hurts and a pill I take at night to keep me from tearing at my skin, I still refuse the conventional therapy. I'm ok with that. 

  Charlie's radiation was a success using the cyber knife on his lung cancer. He said they told him about five years life span and he said he smiled and said he was in his mid seventies, so thats about right. 

William has undergone open heart surgery, which was a success, but now he is on dialysis from his kidney disease. 

  So that is about it. My throat cancer is still in remission and has not relocated like Charlie's did for now. This Christmas brings back memories of the Christmas in 2009 when I shopped by having people shop for me, picking out what presents I wanted to get. I could not go out in public with little resistance. I did eventually venture out once to get Denise's Christmas. I am reminded on mom and her birthday will come December 24th, but she is in a better place now. 

  To those who read this blog or run across it and are battling something, fight for it is worth the fight. Those who have read this blog through will know I have went through what felt like Hell on earth and while there is aftermath, it was and is worth it. My grandkids will remember me and I have gotten to see them growing up. If it all ended today, it was effort well spent. Life was never suppose to be easy and through adversity one will do one of two things, grow or shrink, choose grow. Remember, if God allows us to be brought to it, He will bring us through it. For mom the outcome may have seemed she lost but in the end she actually won because her faith was restored, she fought, she grew. 

So I wish for everybody a very Merry Christmas.   
    
    
   

09-26-2016

  Well we finally have our hay bought and in the lot, ready for winter. I didn't think I would welcome cold weather but we get a lot of rain in the winters. Usually it brings out the hardest times with this arthritis, but this year has been so hot and dry, it is welcomed. I sleep in the floor more than I do in the bed this time of year.  It always takes off stress when the winter is prepared for.

09-03-2016

   It has been a while since I last posted, my computer went out shortly after the June post. I worked and worked on it and finally bought one on Ebay, used but in good shape. So now I am learning Windows 10, which is good, I just have to make adjustments in a few things. After I bought this one I was able to fix my old one, lol. It did though take me a few months to complete. When I went to school for electronics repair people didn't have computers and some people even still had tube sets. I have a lot of pictures on the drive of the old one, and I guess pictures are my most prized possession.

  I go this Tuesday for my follow-up to Rathfoot, it has been a few months. I will have to get use to that scope up my nose and down my throat again, but it ain't as bad as it sounds, plus it gives me confidence.

  As things go we got the gardens out but in the heat, and it has been the hottest and driest year I remember, I failed. I tried twice but I think I found out the hard way the heart attack left some things damaged, and I needed to heal. In the mean time we found that I have acquired Rheumatoid Arthritis. I have chose to try and manage it myself with herbs and vitamins. Boswellia has been good. Not quite the miracle they proclaim but it does help a lot. Astaxanthin is another one I take that was discovered that also, while not a cure, helps a lot. I take nothing at all for it so far aside these natural things. 

  Then, that same test revealed the Prednisone (they think) is responsible for throwing me into Diabetes. I am sure this extra weight don't help. I've went from 244 to 238 and I signed up to continue Cardiac Rehab as I can feel the improvements. I'm controlling it so far with diet and exercise. 

  Yesterday, despite a busted right knee, I put on my braces and off me and Denise went. We started out thinking a picnic in the mountains on the motorcycle, but man was Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge busy. We ended up heading to Cherokee, NC to eat and saw 2 Elk going and 6 Elk coming back. We were sore from riding but man was it ever nice. We went on a short ride last year and haven't been back since. God willing, I hope we go back soon,  this little restaurant on the strip have Brown Trout on the menu. Speaking of that, never did get to take the boat on the water this year, and the lakes now have been let down too low. God willing next year the gardens and the boat, and if not, so be it. 

Thought for today is if He can hold this world He can hold this moment. Have faith. 

   

06-15-2016

   Well this is 1 month, 10 days since the heart attack. The ladies working in Cardiac Rehab are nice and do a good job building me back. By now, with my Wolfman Jack sounding voice all know I have had throat cancer, but one knows of the Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma because she was working that day when they brought me in. She commented on how I seemed unconcerned, but I was, a little. She said first time she has seen a wife watch the surgery. I told her Denise watched the first time too, in 2005. I thought it was a compliment when she said because I was so calm it made their job easier. Somehow, and don't ask me how, I knew this wasn't my time. She commented on how I smiled during the surgery. I told her I'd seen worse, lol. Then I thanked her for the good job they all did that day, and they all did excellent.

  So today, I had blood drawn after a follow up with Deb Gronewall. I love Deb and loved her husband as well, Dr Gronewall, finer people one could not find. I chose to go to Deb since she listens, which Dr Rama doesn't do so well. He is the man you want during a heart attack, and then find another for your follow-ups. I guess we all have our specialties. My hands are and have been swollen as well as my feet. We have stopped the Lipitor, Deb thinks I was having a reaction to it. I did last time too. Then the bomb came, Rheumatoid arthritis. I have arthritis from all the damage I done to my body at UPS, and mild arthritis from the Lyme's Disease many years ago, but neither is this damning. I would rather not be crippled up later on, but that is not my decision. It does seem trivial somewhat looking at William and Charlie. William has to go on Dialysis since his kidneys are pretty much shot to have a decent chance of surviving. Charlie, this time the lungs are confirmed and it is Stage 1, but both lungs. They both prepare for Hell on earth.

   My thoughts went to what's next. The lady in Cardiac Rehab I overheard he saying the speed and incline on the walker I was doing, this far out from a heart attack was unbelievable.  If she only knew how much pain every step was to take on that machine, but I hide it well. I am blessed that my hands also have neuropathy and are numb, so I will and do not feel them much. Still, this has hit me hard. I will not beg for healing but rather than He not leave me here to be a burden on those I love. Sometimes it seems too much, then I remember I am not carrying this alone. So that is what I will ask Him for, the strength and power to be independent, not a burden on those around me. If He wants to heal me that'd be great, but if not, then  help me to overcome it and show others His power and love. Real men aren't "self made", they get their power from God and admit to that fact. It has been a real interesting year so far this year.

  

05-12-2016

Well it just occurred to me tonight that Dr Rama may send a report to Dr Rathfoot. I see Dr Rathfoot the 17th, Denise's birthday. I have to go have a check up with Rama, Town, or Deb next week. Hopefully Denise won't tell on me. The day I got out of the hospital I finished taking the starter off the lawn tractor. Monday and Tuesday the signs were right for planting stuff that is above ground, so Megan, Denise, and me all planted one of the gardens. Funny, I fired up the tractor Monday and I think everybody hear it, any other time nobody would have paid attention, lol. Today I am tired and have a little pain so I took it easy, plus it was raining, lol.

  This time they confirmed it, Charlie's cancer has followed that tree into his lungs. He will begin treatments in June after a surgery to implant gold somethings in his lungs. They will be using the Cyber Knife, I probably spelled that wrong. I think chemo too, but not sure. He has it in both lungs but they caught it at Stage 1. We spoke between us, me, him, and Tina, openly in words not shared usually unless people are survivors. He teared up and said he didn't want to die but dying isn't the worse of it, it is the uncertainty, the not knowing. That is the hardest part and I will have to agree. People who have lived so close to death that dying is easier than living realize this. This is not the "I'm so sick I could die" or that could have been fatal but rather the part where dying is easier than living for real. The part where you know you really have little to no control, and those working on you don't have much more either. The part where you are afraid to close your eyes knowing that one second of letting your guard down will cost you your life. Where seconds feel like minutes and minutes like hours and hours like days and days like years, and it seems to never end.

  To the lighter side, they saved off my chest hair and hair in places I will refrain for mentioning. Boy is this going to itch when it starts back. The chest one can scratch, the lower parts... not so much in public. It kind of looks funny, lol. If you want people to let you in front of them at a line, that'll do it, lol.     

05-07-2016

Well not related directly to the cancer but definitely worth recording is the events that happened Thursday 05-04-2016. It started about 4-4:30, chest pain and numb lips. I must have looked the part because Megan was worried about how I looked. I came in and grabbed the nitro, rested a bit, then headed back outside to help Megan feed the chickens and ducks.

  It hit yet again and a tad harder this time. I went back inside, probably looking worse than the first time (according to Megan), and once again started with Nitro. It started to work but then I was in a hurry to get back outside and boom, it hit with a vengeance. I still figured I could beat it, I'd beat it a few times in the past months, but this time it wasn't letting up, at least not a total reset.

  Denise gets home and I have laid flat in the flood, a trick that had worked before. This time I couldn't get up. I have a pretty high threshold to pain but once crossed I am at a loss, and it leaped across all at once. My lips went numb, the pain was as hard between my shoulder blades as it was in my chest. Denise had asked me a time or two if I wanted her to drive me to the ER and I declined. This time though I looked at Megan and said, "Go get you mamma". Denise came back with her and I said "Dial 911". My first Ambulance ride and hopefully my last. They crew done good, especially the neighbor's son.

  So anyway I get there and Dr Rama again worked on me with the procedure then Dr Town closed me back with some kind of plug like thing in my groin. I spent 1 day in CCU and 1 day on the regular heart floor room, then home. Other than a hospital doctor named Smith, MHH done a great job. Dr Smith, though his intentions were good, his delivery isn't. Then again it is hard to think so highly of yourself and so low of others and expect to be productive. (Hint to doctors, don't feel too above the rest that you look down and talk down to people, least your message be missed or received wrong.) 

  Other than that though it was a good experience, given what it was. Misty on the other hand for the 3rd time she was put in the hospital in a Johnson City for Kidney Stones. She almost went septic this last time from their blunderings. They must have a thing with a mortician out there. (Hint to Dr Smith, this that has been done to Misty by pompous, arrogant, ignorant, doctors who apparently think higher of themselves then they preform.) So that might be a place to consider working at with those Delusions of Grandeur you have.     

Happy Anniversary

HAPPY 27TH ANNIVERSARY DENISE. 

Thank you for putting up with me all these years.

I Love You.

Happy Birthday "Baby"

HAPPY BIRTHDAY 

BABY

aka  ALEXANDRA

03-08-2016

Finally a day without rain, and a beautiful day. I wore short sleeves and exposed my arms to the sunlight, and it felt good. Tonight, not so much. The sunlight is like the Narrow Band UVB light, well that is actually in reverse. It pulls the CTCL to the surface and kills it. It does regenerate but at least those are dead. Tonight my arms feel like I have road burn on them, tender even to the air, but that will change. As my skin darkens it will be less noticeable. So steroidal cream and Excedrin to ease the pain.

 Throat wise I am doing good. I can swallow much easier, breathing is still a bit tough at times, but one gets use to that. The boat is ready to hit the water once the freeze period is past and the lakes are up. I will do as I intended 40 years ago, I will go fishing. My poles were in bad shape so I have already bought a pole, now I need to get my license. I'll do a smaller garden this year to allow me some time to enjoy. I told Denise the days I can't ride the bike, we can ride the boat. It requires no balance and I think she will enjoy it. Next week is our 27th anniversary.   

Follow-up results from Feb 2016

  I fully intended on writing this but it seems things get in the way. The follow up went ok. We are still battling the after effects of the radiation. For now though no surgery or HBOT. Denise asked Dr Rathfoot if it would ever heal. He said some do and some don't, one guy he is battling it 18 years later.  While I have made no progress I have lost no ground, I'm holding my own. I get to drop back to 7mg of Prednisone from 10 a day. I guess I get to keep the Wolfman Jack sounding voice but hey, it could be worse. 

2-6-2016

  Well I'm sitting here in my bedroom again, brings back not so easy times memories. I don't write a lot on here these days, just noticed the people following have dropped  to the 70s from over 100. Eventually I will cease all together on this blog, but it has helped me greatly. I am able to say things I could never say face to face, things felt but seldom if ever spoken. I write as if nobody will read it and oddly enough it helps me get out suppressed feelings, an effect I never considered when I started.

  I got an intestinal bug and I think maybe pneumonia. This high dose of Prednisone has several drawbacks but also advantages. I at least can breathe semi normal and for now HBOT and surgery is off the table. I go for a follow-up with Rathfoot next week and it scares me that I actually feel good about the results. Usually I worry about the results, so hopefully I'm not just feeling good wrongly.

  The Prednisone has several drawbacks. I have gained a lot of weight, and I mean a lot of weight. If we went to the beach they'd probably try to push me back in thinking I beached myself. lol. I have skin like rice paper so if I bump something I either bruise or bleed. We work on something I usually have the oh no you've cut yourself bad comment. I've gotten to where I pay little to no attention to the blood. The cows got out the other day and me and Denise had to get them in, easy done, then repair the fence, not so easy done. They went through briers, so I looked like I have been in a slasher money. It also brings about aggression. Do a lot of prayer and Bible study, but the good parts. Maybe the weight gain but fatigue seems to be a side effect. Keep in your mind though the benefits over the drawbacks.

  We watched the movie "90 Minutes In Heaven". It was a hard movie to watch, I think it hit way to close to home. I think Don had it worse physically than I have had, but those long days of what seemed to never end and pain that can't be described. I looked from time to time and Denise was in tears, honesty I wasn't until Don talked about his experience, then I lost it. For the first time it shows what one really goes through spiritually and emotionally. If I get to speak with him again I will ask if he was able to go through the gate, but it seems he was stopped. I wasn't allowed to cross the river. In some ways I think it would be good for all to experience and yet in some ways I pray nobody has to experience it. All I can say is it will show you that what you do, especially for or to others, matters greatly. It also shows you you are loved, even when you and the world don't love, you are loved. I try and keep that part of my life separate from the cancer blog, but in truth, they are together. It makes a difference knowing you do not lose, you win, no matter the outcome. In those darkest hours, when you are alone and without strength to set up. Those times that hours seem like days and day like years, and your spouse has to work and nobody is there to catch you if you fall. It helps to know that someone is there, even if you don't see them, He sends ones there. That is one reason I declined talking with TED, who wanted just the cancer part without faith. I'm not saying one cannot do this battle without faith, but it does make it easier, a light in a dark space in one's life sometimes is all we need to find out way out.      

1 -7-2016

Happy Birthday 

ANNIE