2-1-10

It's not been a good day today. Ever since throwing up last night I've had problems. Mt throat has stayed swollen inside and painful. I've stayed fatigued all day too. The numbness in my hands and feet haven't gotten any worse and perhaps feeling bad makes me notice that even more.

   This led to another getting choked on another pill today, blood pressure pill this time though. I didn't throw up at least. It's like there is a hole that small pills and food gets stuck in and they get lodged there. It makes for an odd feeling and sometimes, like last night, a painful one if they begin to dissolve there.

  Another thing that gets annoying is if I eat enough dry or eat fast it seems to travel into my nasal area. when this happens there is a trick to do. Seal off you throat, tongue or whatever before trying to suck back through your nose, or it heads towards the airways. That does lead to choking. I done that on a roll tonight.

  It has also been a day of cold sweats and chills. The chills actually don't come the same time as the sweats. I feel perfectly warm, not hot, not cold, when the sweats hit.

  A bitter taste as well stays in mu mouth but today, exceptionally so. Nothing you eat or drink will do away with it. Brushing your teeth will get rid of it for a few minutes, then it slowly works its way back.

  The rash is drying up in some places but a new rash is forming in others. It almost looks like the rash I got when the chemo backfired, just not as bad.

  A good note though, my neck feels like a bad sunburn on the outside now and getting better.  

  I'll assume that this is just part of it but will mention it to Dr. Panella this Friday.

1-31-2010

  Another peaceful day right up until now. I got a laxative pill hung in one of the holes or whatever they get stuck in, in my throat. Normally I can pull them up by taking a large swallow of water and pulling it back up... not this time. It's still stuck there even as I type this. Burn a bit. I managed to get rid of dinner though, lol.  This one is in the right side where the tumor was. Funny how you get use to this.

  The rash is still drying up slowly. I haven't taken anymore of the multivitamin, must have been it. I did notice the CTCL is back on my left foot. I was kinda hoping that it would give me a break for a little longer... guess not.

  Barring right now, the pain is managed by the patch quite well which I hope to begin the decent to get rid of when we meet with Panella this Friday. I'm going after another drink to the Chemo Hut sometime this week... maybe two and hopefully I will be dehydrated good enough by then.

  Denise and I were talking and realized that I haven't had a B-12 shot in over a month, could explain the fatigue. This is the longest I have went without one in over 17 years. That should also help my healing.

  Other than inside swelling, my neck looks more like a tan a little each day. I haven't tried a soft drink (oxymoron) today but I will probably try one tomorrow.

  Still a good day again today, I have had a few together now. Makes all the pain worth it. Now if that pill would either come up or dissolve already.  

   

1-29-10

Pretty event less day. Beautiful snow. I woke up at 4am, went back to bed and got back up at 7am, went back again to bed and slept until 11:30am. I still stay fatigued a lot. I still have the numbness in my hands and feet but that ain't too bad. The breaking out seems to slowly reverting back and healing. I'm guessing and thinking that kimber is correct on the vitamins.

  These nervous episodes and muscle spasms and jerks peaked out today and out of 4 attacks, I ended up 3 times taking the Lorazapan. One I just rode out to see where it went. No physical pain is involved in these.

  The outside of my throat is just dark now, no lesions left open. Denise says it looks as though I will have no scars. The inside however is still sore not not like it was. Swallowing is still an effort but it gets a little easier each day. When I take a sip of liquid I use two swallows then prepare for residue to go the wrong way and cough it up.

  I actually ate a whole breakfast this morning... sorta. I did eat a whole Hardees Portibello Mushroom Melt burger and about 5 fries! I ate a piece of birthday cake, nobody's birthday, I bought a small one on our cookie raid a few days ago, lol. I get these cravings for something sweet which is unusual.

  There are times when my mid throat gets dry, not dry enough to crack open like it was, but too dry to swallow anything. My saliva glands are working in my mouth but maybe they aren't up to what they should be yet. I still carry a water with me for the dry episodes. Right now I'm drinking Pedalite and it really isn't that bad. Kind of like weak lemonade. I have one flavored but I think it is fruit flavor so that one scares me. I tested again today, this time with Coke. Still not able to tolerate carbonated beverages. Actually... that is a good thing.

  I ventured outside a few times today, never for very long. I can't wait until spring gets here and maybe I can go outside more and build back my strength. It gets a little embarrassing having toget your kids to open your drinks, lol.

  I'm still keeping two Humidifiers running. I think they make a difference. All in all... another good day. Hopefully this trend will continue.  

1-29-10

  It has been a good day today despite the snow. Other than a little soreness in my throat, especially the right side, it's been great. Annie's new laptop came in and she loves it.

  Still broke out all over just as bad as yesterday so I've taken Bendryl. Still a bit of trouble with things going in and out, but I'm getting there. Now if it would get warm and pretty I could maybe walk around and gain back some strength. The numbness in the hands a feet hasn't improved, not sure what the cause was. These muscle jerks and a feeling like I'm exploding inside (Nerve wise) are not painful but get kind of freaky. I take Lorazapan and they fade away. Sometimes I go a day or two and nothing. Lately it is at least once a day. Strange.  

  Days like this one make it worth it.

1-28-10

Slept on and off last night but finally stayed up at 7am. I drove to Hardees and got a sausage, egg, cheese biscuit, then stopped by the office to set mom's Garmin. Browsed around on the web, Craigslist.org and Ebay.

  I'm broke out again on my legs, ankles, and arms... 2 days now. What's changed. Sipped Mt Dew last two days, changed underarm deodorant, starting taking a multi-vitamin liquid. It has to be one of the three I'm thinking.

  I'm having a hard time getting the pain patch to stay on. We taped it to my arm.  I can't wait for these things to come off.

I walked today around outside and up to mom's. Slowly I am getting more steady on my feet and winded.

We've kept lotion on my neck using the Radiation Cream and Blue-Emu oil. The lesions are seemly healing overnight... well, fast anyway.

  Today has been a good day for a change, maybe it's turning around. I will wait due to weather until either Monday or Tuesday before heading back to the Chemo Hut.     

1-27-10

  We went again to the Chemo Hut and got 2 more bags installed, lol. Also got my prescription of Lorazapan refilled. It took quite a while to do and while it is helping I still look and feel like I need several more to get back caught up.

  We ended up beside a guy and his wife (breast cancer) and I kept looking at him. Finally I said I thought I knew him, turns out I did. 15 years ago I delivered to where he worked at 600 Sulpher Springs Road. Small world. Didn't remember his name but I never forget a face. We chatted on and off all day long, the times I was awake. This was her second dose of Chemo and so far she has been hospitalized twice. Once for her port which she no longer has and once for dehydration. They've had a rough go at it so far. I'd like to go back Friday but with the coming weather I'll shoot for next week.

  I'm broke out tonight from something, but not sure what. Been a bit sleepy all day and draggy. Maybe from staying up coughing all night last night. More Oregano came up in my saliva and I still taste and feel more left. Tomorrow I sleep late. Tonight was change patch time again. I can't wait until I can get off these patches.

  Lots of sneezing going on. Denise dressed my neck tonight and the three lesions in my neck are healing up. maybe this means that the effects of last weeks radiation is wearing off. I tested Mt Dew last night unsuccessfully and tonight with a little more success. That will be a definite test of how it's going, of course I will need to use fresh.

 This morning I used 15 mg of Morphine prior to eating breakfast but tonight I used nothing for supper. A bit more painful than with, but not all that much painful. I'm not about to say turning the corner yet, last time I done that I jinxed myself, lol.

  The thoughts and worries of did they get the cancer in the lymph node out still hunts me. Perhaps as I feel better I will not worry as much.    

1-26-10

  Here we are not quite a week out of Radiation. Inside, my throat is still swelling and outside now 3 places have became lesions on the right side. No lesions on the left side so far. The pain is steady but seems somewhat to be decreasing in some ways. I stay sick feeling at my stomach and when I eat I get sicker, but never throw up. Instead, the feeling subsides after a few minutes when I eat. there is still the horrid taste in my mouth and I'm guess that it is the Oregano Denise sprinkled on last nights food. The swelling inside has caused
a refereed pain in my left ear, more discomfort than pain actually. That is weird since the tumor was on and caused pain in the right ear, and much more intense.
 
  Denise got my metaprol filled and my Miracle Mouth Wash. My BP stays good but my heart rate gets a bit out of hand. The Lorazapan seems to curb one of the other weird side effects, my nerves seems to go out of whack and I begin to shake, muscles eventually twitch snd it feels like I'm going to burst inside.  This came along with my right foot towards the end feels swelled and numb. the other foot just tingles like it is in a deep sleep as does both my hands. This started after the last Chemo and it still continues. No pain though.


  I woke up at 5am this morning, brushed my teeth and began prepping the bathroom for a bath? I sat down and answered email and then it hit me... where was I going? lol. So I went back to bed and slept until 8am. We will mark that down as a brain fart.
 
Me, William, and Charlie all went for breakfast this morning. That was a first that I remember and very enjoyable. Then I took off to town, lol. Yea, I'm not suppose to drive yet but I just had to. I took some pictures and placed Charlie and mom's store online at Craigslist. 

  Tomorrow we go back for another drink, lol. I will ask for 2 bags again tomorrow.  I will also ask for some more Lorazapan. Maybe soon it will get better. It seems to be the only thing that curbs those spells without knocking me out or drugging me out. 

  I stayed tired today, even took a brief nap today. Other than that I've rested and played on the computer.