I've been lazy today, got up at 10:30am and went right back out until 1pm. I'm still sleepy, lol. Foot pain returned in the right foot for a little while. After a while the meds kicked in and took some of that out. The medicine for Neuropathy does help with the pain and while I am at a low level building up, I may decide not to build up. If anything, it does increase the numbness and brings about a loss of balance. This appears to be more of a pick which one you consider the lesser of two evils. I have to weigh it out. I am starting at 200mg 2 times per day and soon going to 600mg two times a day. I'm not sure if the 600 will bring about more loss of balance of if it will remain at the current levels. It also doesn't help the ankle picking up the foot. It also doesn't effect the numbness that comes and goes on the left side of my head or my hands.
So far the drop from 50 to 25mg patch has produced a little DT effects until today. When the DT signs stay for a while I supplement with a pill. I would imagine that Kim is 100% correct as usual, when I stop the 25 mg patch I will have to work my way back down with pills just like I went up. It's like my body has become use to this stuff.
The neck pain is pretty much gone with the magnetic necklace. I'm not sure it will work but I am going to try some ankle bracelets to see if that will work. I'm not sure since it's neurological rather than arthritis but it is worth a shot.
I seem to stay extremely fatigued and when I do feel like exertion it is short lived. When I push it, and I believe that is the way you come back online, I pay for it the next day.
Denise says I have hair growing back on my ears and this time I'm not going to fuss after being aerodynamic for so long, lol.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Saturday, February 27, 2010
02-27-2010 evening
Been a lazy day again.We ran to Newport Walmart and Newport Bargain store where I discovered than using the buggy I am more able to walk normal. I did walk like a Penguin now I walk like a Duck, lol. While the medicine for the neuropathy does nothing for the numbness, maybe even increase it, it does cease most of the pain. I can walk without as much pain and sleep without pain but knowing where I step and when my foot is down solid takes a bit more effort. My hands are the same way. It hasn't helped my ankles to pick up my foot which makes me walk a little abnormal.
For the first time I was able to eat at least about ten bites without liquid. One of my goals is going back to eating without drinking. Long story on the benefits of doing that. I've also tried to swallow without drinking or eating, not easily done but I'm working on it. Panella had said it takes 26 muscles that have to work together and that I would need to relearn how to make them work together.
I attempted a Dr Pepper again today. I can drink soft drinks with minimal pain now but I can't stand the taste of Dr Pepper anymore. That is something I thought would never happen, lol. As a preference I'm sticking with Tea, Water, Vitamin Water, and SoBe.
I did find this interesting, a series from Dr Mercola on a new treatment in Germany for cancer that is proved to work without harsh drugs. They also go into other diseases. It is a video that is a 7 part series. I'm not sure if you can view without signing up but I have been signed up for years and have never had any unsolicited email or spam so it is safe.
CLICK HERE To Watch
For the first time I was able to eat at least about ten bites without liquid. One of my goals is going back to eating without drinking. Long story on the benefits of doing that. I've also tried to swallow without drinking or eating, not easily done but I'm working on it. Panella had said it takes 26 muscles that have to work together and that I would need to relearn how to make them work together.
I attempted a Dr Pepper again today. I can drink soft drinks with minimal pain now but I can't stand the taste of Dr Pepper anymore. That is something I thought would never happen, lol. As a preference I'm sticking with Tea, Water, Vitamin Water, and SoBe.
I did find this interesting, a series from Dr Mercola on a new treatment in Germany for cancer that is proved to work without harsh drugs. They also go into other diseases. It is a video that is a 7 part series. I'm not sure if you can view without signing up but I have been signed up for years and have never had any unsolicited email or spam so it is safe.
CLICK HERE To Watch
02-27-2010 - Morning
I woke up last night three times. Once in a cold sweat soaking wet and twice with calf muscle craps that was excruciating. They were all with the first few hours and the last one I took a half of Endocet 10mg to ease off the pain. It seemed to work and I went back to sleep. When I woke up this morning my calf muscles feel like I have run a marathon. Extremely sore.
My knees ached but with coming moisture that is pretty common as is the shoulder usually and neck. Over the years I have learned to handle that and simply take Ibuprofen or Tylenol Arthritis. My neck was spared last night the stiffness and pain probably due to the magnetic necklace that Denise procured with the help of a co-worker and friend. I took mine off after the first chemo and we couldn't find it again, it seemed to conflict with the chemo.
I took my handful of pills that has become regular but soon I hope will end and now I'm off to eat something before they make me sick. I did wake up rested though so the REM sleep must have been good.
Time for a little humor.This parody was written over five years ago and is now one of the most watched at YouTube. Thanks to the friend that passed this along.
My knees ached but with coming moisture that is pretty common as is the shoulder usually and neck. Over the years I have learned to handle that and simply take Ibuprofen or Tylenol Arthritis. My neck was spared last night the stiffness and pain probably due to the magnetic necklace that Denise procured with the help of a co-worker and friend. I took mine off after the first chemo and we couldn't find it again, it seemed to conflict with the chemo.
I took my handful of pills that has become regular but soon I hope will end and now I'm off to eat something before they make me sick. I did wake up rested though so the REM sleep must have been good.
Time for a little humor.This parody was written over five years ago and is now one of the most watched at YouTube. Thanks to the friend that passed this along.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Thinking Out Loud - rambling
The waiting room was full today. I read somewhere last year the odds of getting cancer are now one in one and went on to say that if you live long enough you will have some type or form of cancer. I have two types. Denise told me of a man that had the exact same kind as I have in in the same location as I have only a little larger tumor than I had and an age difference of about 10 years. Its funny, but when people know that someone close has cancer they seek out and find someone else. I asked her last night how the man was, if she had heard anything. Whoever told her had said he died before the treatments started. The man was to do the same treatment and they put a feeding tube in. Before they could start his treatment though, he died. She didn't tell me while I was doing treatments because of the harshness of what I had to take. I thought, here I am griping about the side effects yet this man never got the chance to grip about them. A very humbling experience.
I don't know why God allows this or how He chooses who to bring home and who leave here. I have no idea at all. I know it has changed me and I think those close to me, I hope for the better. I have always said that I would love to make a difference in the world even if it costs my life. Those words are shallow when the storm comes, easier said than done. As an old Indian Chief once said, "Its easy to be brave from a distance", and so it is. We enter into this life knowing that it is only temporary at best. Sometimes people cloud our vision and make us think that this life is all there is and is the most important thing. We catch phrases like "Just Do It", "Go ahead, You deserve it", and Why me. Mostly though we hear this from cruel corporations just trying to make a sale. Hitler once said that through repetition people can be made to believe anything and that if you lie big enough and long enough people will believe it. Now that is not his exact words but it is what he said and in effect what is taught through media and even now the schools. This was so important to the ones that rule that in 1959 (I believe, but check for yourself), six million dollars was spent to erase the old religions out of the science books and replaced by a new religion, evolution. I call evolution a religion because nobody has ever actually seen it take place nor is there evidence to support it. School books have many, many errors that they say they can't fix because it would cost to much to amend it. Yet back then, they spent a fortune?
This life was never promised to be easy and God knows I pray I don't get what I deserve because I'm just thinking that it will not be anything that can be bought or that is good. As long as we are suckered into believing that life is here and now and that this is all there is, we are at a loss. We judge how good we are by looking at other people, then grade on a curb scale to see where we are using the curb to gain position, but in who's eyes.I tell my children that when we have to compare ourselves to another human, we have already lost. When we have to break down someone else to feel superior we are actually inferior. Bullies are usually nothing more than scared cowards that have a low self esteem. It is so easy to point at someone who has fallen, the real test is can you help them back up.
The Cherokee said that the day is not guaranteed but granted and one day we will have to account for how we spent the time God allowed us here on earth. Again, not verbatim but the essence of what was told. I can see how younger people today are mislead by the science books which teach evolution, that man was a mistake. Given that being taught it is no wonder so many people are astray. They have no purpose and therefore what they do within reason doesn't matter. As a Christian I sometimes take a slap from those "more learned" than I yet I ask one simple question. If believing is so stupid and not believing is so smart...is the world a better place than it was? Are people better than they were? I think anybody with any rationality would say no, we are not better off than we were. We have more conveniences than they did before but we have become dependent and should these conveniences be suddenly taken away, we would probably not live too long. Jesus teaches that we are not mistakes but purposely created by God and that what we do does matter. So those of us that grew up in a time of correct teaching should know better. True that we answer to God who never changes but remains the same but unbelievers answer to the world run by men that change more than the weather.
So why does God allow suffering? I have no idea but what I do know is that I have yet to see nothing good come out of something bad, there is always something good even in the worse situation. There is a small elite group that you are indoctrinated to with a life ending or life changing disease. Those of us with cancer for instance speak more openly to those who share our disease than even the closest family. Those of us who have had a heart attack speak more frankly with others who have had a heart attack. These are clubs that most, including myself, would not have willing joined. Occasionally there are those that have big mouths and openly share with the nonmembers, knowing that they can not explain what they are going through, but are willing to try. Most of us know that this life isn't forever and what comes next is worth whatever price.
Sometimes I think we have been brainwashed to think that we ourselves are the most important thing, and I include myself in this group. I have endured some pretty bad things in my life but I never endure them alone. Its sad to think that some walk alone when they don't have to, God is always there, all you have to do is open the lines of communication. I had a doctor once that I said, "Thank God" when I received the good news that they could and have fixed and his response was, "I think the doctors had a hand in it." I smiled and looked at him and said, "True...but there are many doctors that do this but God led me to you who He granted the knowledge to help me." I got the strangest look, he pondered for a moment and replied, "I hadn't thought of it that way." That was a long time ago but I'm told the doctor definitely looked at life differently. It could have been the purpose I was created for or it could have been that God used a bad thing to make a good thing. Either way, does it really matter in the grand scheme.
Our children spend more waking hours in the schools than with their parents. It makes it hard to compete and then add TV and we have lost even more ground. Yes, we are guilty of that too. For those who have broken the TV addiction they have Internet, something that is my Achilles Heal. In India for instance they wanted to lower the birth rate. This is going on now. They looked at how China handled the problem and it wasn't acceptable. The world might revolt against them. So they went with TV to occupy their time, they knew that would distract people. TV is so important that try and spell TV without capitol letters and an error showing that it is to be capitalized appears.
I believe that it is important to fight back to live. Equally important is having faith that you are not battling alone. That God is not only there but He has surround you with family and friends, and that should you falter and lose the battle you still win the war. Just as He doesn't give up, neither should we. This physical life is just that... life. Living can come later when this physical battle ends, but that is not our choice to make. What we chose to do with our time that is granted however is, and we will account for that one day. Lets just hope that God judges us less harshly than we do our fellow person. In the end that is all we have and all we are. Our deeds and faith.
Ramble over....
I don't know why God allows this or how He chooses who to bring home and who leave here. I have no idea at all. I know it has changed me and I think those close to me, I hope for the better. I have always said that I would love to make a difference in the world even if it costs my life. Those words are shallow when the storm comes, easier said than done. As an old Indian Chief once said, "Its easy to be brave from a distance", and so it is. We enter into this life knowing that it is only temporary at best. Sometimes people cloud our vision and make us think that this life is all there is and is the most important thing. We catch phrases like "Just Do It", "Go ahead, You deserve it", and Why me. Mostly though we hear this from cruel corporations just trying to make a sale. Hitler once said that through repetition people can be made to believe anything and that if you lie big enough and long enough people will believe it. Now that is not his exact words but it is what he said and in effect what is taught through media and even now the schools. This was so important to the ones that rule that in 1959 (I believe, but check for yourself), six million dollars was spent to erase the old religions out of the science books and replaced by a new religion, evolution. I call evolution a religion because nobody has ever actually seen it take place nor is there evidence to support it. School books have many, many errors that they say they can't fix because it would cost to much to amend it. Yet back then, they spent a fortune?
This life was never promised to be easy and God knows I pray I don't get what I deserve because I'm just thinking that it will not be anything that can be bought or that is good. As long as we are suckered into believing that life is here and now and that this is all there is, we are at a loss. We judge how good we are by looking at other people, then grade on a curb scale to see where we are using the curb to gain position, but in who's eyes.I tell my children that when we have to compare ourselves to another human, we have already lost. When we have to break down someone else to feel superior we are actually inferior. Bullies are usually nothing more than scared cowards that have a low self esteem. It is so easy to point at someone who has fallen, the real test is can you help them back up.
The Cherokee said that the day is not guaranteed but granted and one day we will have to account for how we spent the time God allowed us here on earth. Again, not verbatim but the essence of what was told. I can see how younger people today are mislead by the science books which teach evolution, that man was a mistake. Given that being taught it is no wonder so many people are astray. They have no purpose and therefore what they do within reason doesn't matter. As a Christian I sometimes take a slap from those "more learned" than I yet I ask one simple question. If believing is so stupid and not believing is so smart...is the world a better place than it was? Are people better than they were? I think anybody with any rationality would say no, we are not better off than we were. We have more conveniences than they did before but we have become dependent and should these conveniences be suddenly taken away, we would probably not live too long. Jesus teaches that we are not mistakes but purposely created by God and that what we do does matter. So those of us that grew up in a time of correct teaching should know better. True that we answer to God who never changes but remains the same but unbelievers answer to the world run by men that change more than the weather.
So why does God allow suffering? I have no idea but what I do know is that I have yet to see nothing good come out of something bad, there is always something good even in the worse situation. There is a small elite group that you are indoctrinated to with a life ending or life changing disease. Those of us with cancer for instance speak more openly to those who share our disease than even the closest family. Those of us who have had a heart attack speak more frankly with others who have had a heart attack. These are clubs that most, including myself, would not have willing joined. Occasionally there are those that have big mouths and openly share with the nonmembers, knowing that they can not explain what they are going through, but are willing to try. Most of us know that this life isn't forever and what comes next is worth whatever price.
Sometimes I think we have been brainwashed to think that we ourselves are the most important thing, and I include myself in this group. I have endured some pretty bad things in my life but I never endure them alone. Its sad to think that some walk alone when they don't have to, God is always there, all you have to do is open the lines of communication. I had a doctor once that I said, "Thank God" when I received the good news that they could and have fixed and his response was, "I think the doctors had a hand in it." I smiled and looked at him and said, "True...but there are many doctors that do this but God led me to you who He granted the knowledge to help me." I got the strangest look, he pondered for a moment and replied, "I hadn't thought of it that way." That was a long time ago but I'm told the doctor definitely looked at life differently. It could have been the purpose I was created for or it could have been that God used a bad thing to make a good thing. Either way, does it really matter in the grand scheme.
Our children spend more waking hours in the schools than with their parents. It makes it hard to compete and then add TV and we have lost even more ground. Yes, we are guilty of that too. For those who have broken the TV addiction they have Internet, something that is my Achilles Heal. In India for instance they wanted to lower the birth rate. This is going on now. They looked at how China handled the problem and it wasn't acceptable. The world might revolt against them. So they went with TV to occupy their time, they knew that would distract people. TV is so important that try and spell TV without capitol letters and an error showing that it is to be capitalized appears.
I believe that it is important to fight back to live. Equally important is having faith that you are not battling alone. That God is not only there but He has surround you with family and friends, and that should you falter and lose the battle you still win the war. Just as He doesn't give up, neither should we. This physical life is just that... life. Living can come later when this physical battle ends, but that is not our choice to make. What we chose to do with our time that is granted however is, and we will account for that one day. Lets just hope that God judges us less harshly than we do our fellow person. In the end that is all we have and all we are. Our deeds and faith.
Ramble over....
02-26-2010
Went to the check-up with Panella today. We talked quit extensively which was good. With a light and a tongue depressor he visually looked into my throat and saw a lot of damage from the radiation. He wasn't able to go into my throat like Dr Rathfoot did so he didn't see the infection. He thought most of it will reverse in 3-6 months and most of the other side effects from the chemo in the next two to three months. White and Red blood cells are within normal range as were all the ones the tested for.
.
We discussed the Neuropathy in my hands and especially my feet. I told him the Dr Rathfoot had already given me medicine to help with that and discussed some of its side effects. The side effect so far was exactly as Dr Rathfoot had described, loss of balance. I think I'm dealing with that though pretty well so far. Dr Panella said unless it is bad that he usually does not prescribe anything and that pain killers have little effect on the pain. That part I knew. I think my request was misunderstood the other day and that is why I got Loratabs instead of the medicine I needed. Today there is still a lot of pain in my feet but its manageable. the balance loss is like learning to walk again but I've been there before with the Pernicious Anemia at the start. With some effort, I can do this again. I'll up my shots of B-12 to two, maybe three a week and the sub-lingual B vitamins twice a day. I know you urinate out the B-12 you don't need but I have to check on the other B vitamins. I don't want to cause any more damage to my system.
He discussed the main game plan to get rid of the patch which was to drop to 25mg for a week then stop all together. Hopefully that will work without withdraw symptoms, if not, I have some Loratabs and a few Endocets that should stop that from happening. I'm hoping Kim reads this and gives me her opinion which I value a lot. We then end all pills, maybe even the one for neuropathy within the next couple of months. The one that helps with the anxiety attacks Denise said was habit forming. Dr Panella said it was part a side effect of the chemo and part the way I am, type A, lol. He suggested that I walk it off or dig a ditch or anything to ward them off and that I probably would have had them before this had I not kept busy. I really don't want and fear becoming a pill head. We discussed this at the beginning and Panella knows and respects that and I believe he will see to it that doesn't happen.
In about 3 months and again in six months he expects my thyroid to quit and they will be watching for that. I didn't tell him that we already had one test run which came out good. That was one of the sacrifices that is made and a small one at that. They couldn't kill the tumor without hitting and killing the thyroid gland. That should be a pill that manages the loss, no big deal compared to buying a casket.
When we got there I went into the bathroom, I drink lots of water these days, lol. I heard a woman crying in the stall next to where I was which was kind of weird. I even looked around to make sure I hadn't walked into the wrong bathroom. I heard her murmuring in a low tone but I couldn't make out what she was saying. I think there was someone else in there with her. I started once to ask if she was ok, but something inside said not to, she just needed some time either to herself or whoever she was with. She sounded so sad and pitiful, I still question as to whether I should have or shouldn't have. I watched as people came in but nobody with signs of crying came in the waiting room so she must have been leaving. You don't see that a lot in there. You see a lot of worry, fear, confusion, and sometimes anger that is usually hidden with a smile or a straight face.
.
We discussed the Neuropathy in my hands and especially my feet. I told him the Dr Rathfoot had already given me medicine to help with that and discussed some of its side effects. The side effect so far was exactly as Dr Rathfoot had described, loss of balance. I think I'm dealing with that though pretty well so far. Dr Panella said unless it is bad that he usually does not prescribe anything and that pain killers have little effect on the pain. That part I knew. I think my request was misunderstood the other day and that is why I got Loratabs instead of the medicine I needed. Today there is still a lot of pain in my feet but its manageable. the balance loss is like learning to walk again but I've been there before with the Pernicious Anemia at the start. With some effort, I can do this again. I'll up my shots of B-12 to two, maybe three a week and the sub-lingual B vitamins twice a day. I know you urinate out the B-12 you don't need but I have to check on the other B vitamins. I don't want to cause any more damage to my system.
He discussed the main game plan to get rid of the patch which was to drop to 25mg for a week then stop all together. Hopefully that will work without withdraw symptoms, if not, I have some Loratabs and a few Endocets that should stop that from happening. I'm hoping Kim reads this and gives me her opinion which I value a lot. We then end all pills, maybe even the one for neuropathy within the next couple of months. The one that helps with the anxiety attacks Denise said was habit forming. Dr Panella said it was part a side effect of the chemo and part the way I am, type A, lol. He suggested that I walk it off or dig a ditch or anything to ward them off and that I probably would have had them before this had I not kept busy. I really don't want and fear becoming a pill head. We discussed this at the beginning and Panella knows and respects that and I believe he will see to it that doesn't happen.
In about 3 months and again in six months he expects my thyroid to quit and they will be watching for that. I didn't tell him that we already had one test run which came out good. That was one of the sacrifices that is made and a small one at that. They couldn't kill the tumor without hitting and killing the thyroid gland. That should be a pill that manages the loss, no big deal compared to buying a casket.
When we got there I went into the bathroom, I drink lots of water these days, lol. I heard a woman crying in the stall next to where I was which was kind of weird. I even looked around to make sure I hadn't walked into the wrong bathroom. I heard her murmuring in a low tone but I couldn't make out what she was saying. I think there was someone else in there with her. I started once to ask if she was ok, but something inside said not to, she just needed some time either to herself or whoever she was with. She sounded so sad and pitiful, I still question as to whether I should have or shouldn't have. I watched as people came in but nobody with signs of crying came in the waiting room so she must have been leaving. You don't see that a lot in there. You see a lot of worry, fear, confusion, and sometimes anger that is usually hidden with a smile or a straight face.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
02-25-2010
Me and Denise went for the follow up with Dr Rathfoot today. He wants me back this time in 6 weeks. I was right about what I was feeling, it is extremely swollen inside. The left side more so than the right side where the tumor was. Therein would be the key word...was. The swelling, as I understood it is from the radiation mostly. He also said that I had gotten a cold and that I had developed an infection in my lymph glands.
I came home with a steroid, an antibiotic, anti-fungal, and a pill to help with my neuropathy, Gabapentin. Now this is what i wanted when I called at Panella's office and instead got Loratabs. I know that it will probably take some time for them to work but at least I'm getting started on dealing with this. Hopefully this neuropathy will not last long but if it does I now have something for it. Denise gave me another injection of B-12 last night and it seems to have helped with the hands and face for a while.
He asked if I had done a scan since my Chemo and Radiation is over which I told him I haven't. Then he said the same thing as Panella. If we do the scan too early it could show a false positive. He looked in my throat for a long while today. I'm getting it down when to breathe, swallow, and make a weird noise to allow an easier passage through my nose into my throat. He even had me hold my nose and blow to open up the throat. He sat down with a drawing and showed us what he was talking about. I tell you, finding this man was a blessing.
Tomorrow we go to Panella's office for a check up and blood work.
I came home with a steroid, an antibiotic, anti-fungal, and a pill to help with my neuropathy, Gabapentin. Now this is what i wanted when I called at Panella's office and instead got Loratabs. I know that it will probably take some time for them to work but at least I'm getting started on dealing with this. Hopefully this neuropathy will not last long but if it does I now have something for it. Denise gave me another injection of B-12 last night and it seems to have helped with the hands and face for a while.
He asked if I had done a scan since my Chemo and Radiation is over which I told him I haven't. Then he said the same thing as Panella. If we do the scan too early it could show a false positive. He looked in my throat for a long while today. I'm getting it down when to breathe, swallow, and make a weird noise to allow an easier passage through my nose into my throat. He even had me hold my nose and blow to open up the throat. He sat down with a drawing and showed us what he was talking about. I tell you, finding this man was a blessing.
Tomorrow we go to Panella's office for a check up and blood work.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
02-24-2010
The day started great. I woke up and for the first 30 minutes or so, I actually sounded like myself instead of Sling Blade. My feet and hands felt normal. For an instant, I was in good spirits. A few walks across the house though and the pain and numbness were slowly coming back. I decided to call Panella's office and request something to help rather than waiting until Friday.
I asked to speak with Ruth but the lady said she was busy but she would take a message. I thought that sounded ok, so I asked her to ask Ruth for something to help with the Neuropathy in my feet. She asked if it was painful and I said yes. She said that she would convey the message and if something couldn't be called in that someone would call me back, otherwise something would be called in. When Denise called I told her they were probably calling in something to help with this stuff. I was amazed and let down at the same time, they had called in Loratab. This is a pain the Endocet don't touch and Morphine scrapes the surface. Loratab?
This is a fairly common side effect of the Chemo and there are three drugs that I have read that address this stuff, none are pain killers. I thought I'd try it, who knows, maybe it acts differently. It doesn't. Denise even knows the drugs used for this condition and that is not even her field. This is their field and why, unless a break in communication would this not be known.
We meet with Dr Rathfoot tomorrow and I can't wait. Hopefully he will look again, not that I like that scope up my nose and down into my throat, but I feel more at ease. Friday we meet with Panella. I plan on having a heart to heart chat with him. I am really losing confidence between the last appointment and how it went and this. That is partly why I didn't go for fluids this week and seriously doubt I will be back. I admit that I thought after Chemo that the hard part was over, but I was wrong. The care I received at the start just went down the tubes suddenly. I guess I am a bit aggravated and mainly at myself.
Maybe it is just the way I'm using my muscles but it seems to be climbing up. What started in my feet went to my ankles and then into my calves. As I say, maybe it is the way I am forced to walk when the pain sets in. It is a bit embarrassing though having to use the handicapped parking pass. Then again, it's painful if I don't. It also bothers my conscience too. What if someone who needs that place more than I comes in and I have my car parked there.
I asked to speak with Ruth but the lady said she was busy but she would take a message. I thought that sounded ok, so I asked her to ask Ruth for something to help with the Neuropathy in my feet. She asked if it was painful and I said yes. She said that she would convey the message and if something couldn't be called in that someone would call me back, otherwise something would be called in. When Denise called I told her they were probably calling in something to help with this stuff. I was amazed and let down at the same time, they had called in Loratab. This is a pain the Endocet don't touch and Morphine scrapes the surface. Loratab?
This is a fairly common side effect of the Chemo and there are three drugs that I have read that address this stuff, none are pain killers. I thought I'd try it, who knows, maybe it acts differently. It doesn't. Denise even knows the drugs used for this condition and that is not even her field. This is their field and why, unless a break in communication would this not be known.
We meet with Dr Rathfoot tomorrow and I can't wait. Hopefully he will look again, not that I like that scope up my nose and down into my throat, but I feel more at ease. Friday we meet with Panella. I plan on having a heart to heart chat with him. I am really losing confidence between the last appointment and how it went and this. That is partly why I didn't go for fluids this week and seriously doubt I will be back. I admit that I thought after Chemo that the hard part was over, but I was wrong. The care I received at the start just went down the tubes suddenly. I guess I am a bit aggravated and mainly at myself.
Maybe it is just the way I'm using my muscles but it seems to be climbing up. What started in my feet went to my ankles and then into my calves. As I say, maybe it is the way I am forced to walk when the pain sets in. It is a bit embarrassing though having to use the handicapped parking pass. Then again, it's painful if I don't. It also bothers my conscience too. What if someone who needs that place more than I comes in and I have my car parked there.
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