Finally coming out of it while Charlie goes deeper down into it. Somehow that takes the joy out of coming out of it. I actually got up feeling good for a change and planned on getting a lot done. Take advantage of the good day and accomplish what I could before surgery next week. Somehow that just didn't happen.
I've had emotionally and psychologically some downs lately and today I think I finally turned the corner, with some help. I ran into BB and we talked a long time at Easy In, it felt good. Nathan, BB's son came in. Now there is a smart and talented kid, well I should say man, he has grown up now. I ended up going over to his house after mowing mom's yard and we sat and talked. Man did I even need that. Unfortunately BB didn't get what he was doing done either, but he didn't seem to mind.
We grew up together and even though we're cousins I always considered him a brother. Since he is older I looked up to him and because of that, I didn't get into the drug scene, my brief encounter ended as quick as it started. We looked the part with hair to our waists, beards, and bikes. We talked current times, reminisced older times. I think this is what I've needed for a long time. I've always been able to tell BB things that I probably never will tell another person. He is one of the few people that I have never questioned his heart, motives or honesty. He has always had a level head, even when we were kids. Funny how we pass and yet live so close. Have a lot in common like cars and bikes, yet we never seem to find the time.
So... if you read this BB or Janet either one, thank you. It's also my fault Janet that he didn't get everything done. I'm sorry that I kept him. And, thank you too Janet for lending an ear.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Saturday, May 7, 2011
05-08-2011
I meant to add this up for tonight but forgot. This is from Dr Mercola's site and the videos I would recommend watching. http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2011/05/07/medical-marijuana-becoming-blockbuster-drug.aspx
05-07-2011
I'm just now getting over the stomach bug that's going around. Yuk, but I've seen worse. We went to Yard Sales today then come back and tilled the garden, even though the soil is damp, and planted a few things. During the course of hooking up the Rotovator I accidentally slung the Sledge Hammer and hit right below the knee. Now it's swelled big enough to look like I have two knees, lol. So I'm limping. Funny how there is just not much skin or muscles on the shin. I think I deserved that though.
The 40mg of Predsione a day have made me ill as a hornet. I can't even stand myself lately. It seems that depression, anger, nerves on end, and a deep rage at times boils inside me. I've had a tremble in my hands a bit since the Chemo, an unsteady gate if it were a walk, but as it is, shaky I guess you could say. Added with numbness and it is hard to do some tasks I once could, but I've learned to just deal with it. Except lately I get all these hyped emotions.
So today I just snapped. Guess we had a little too much bonding. :) I'm going to blame it on the meds, but I know it was no excuse. I think these things are there. Not the things I said, but the frustration, pain, aggravation, and I guess anger that you can't do what you want to do, what you use to do. Maybe this stuff just heightens them, I'm not sure. I've done good at keeping it in check until today. Man do i ever have a mouth on me at times, and attitude to match.
The 40mg of Predsione a day have made me ill as a hornet. I can't even stand myself lately. It seems that depression, anger, nerves on end, and a deep rage at times boils inside me. I've had a tremble in my hands a bit since the Chemo, an unsteady gate if it were a walk, but as it is, shaky I guess you could say. Added with numbness and it is hard to do some tasks I once could, but I've learned to just deal with it. Except lately I get all these hyped emotions.
So today I just snapped. Guess we had a little too much bonding. :) I'm going to blame it on the meds, but I know it was no excuse. I think these things are there. Not the things I said, but the frustration, pain, aggravation, and I guess anger that you can't do what you want to do, what you use to do. Maybe this stuff just heightens them, I'm not sure. I've done good at keeping it in check until today. Man do i ever have a mouth on me at times, and attitude to match.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
05-05-2011
Today hit Charlie hard and he pretty much stayed in bed. I talked briefly to him, I know how hard it is to talk sick and with pain. If his is like mine tomorrow will be worse, but the Saturday will be better. My 1st treatment was the easiest, hopefully his will all be easier,or at least no worse.
I goofed off today at a yard sale, I'm still not quite recovered. We have another guy coming to give an estimate on the storm damage tomorrow. Tomorrow I hope to be more about in terms of accomplishing things. I really need to get the beans and corn planted, I'm just not sure why, lol. I sat yesterday and read and listened to music. Found some new songs. I like this one...
I goofed off today at a yard sale, I'm still not quite recovered. We have another guy coming to give an estimate on the storm damage tomorrow. Tomorrow I hope to be more about in terms of accomplishing things. I really need to get the beans and corn planted, I'm just not sure why, lol. I sat yesterday and read and listened to music. Found some new songs. I like this one...
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
05-03-2011
Charlie done his first Chemo today at the Chemo Hut at UT. It went well. He said they told him to tell me Hi. That is a great bunch of people there. He has about 2 days before the bomb hits.
Today was a loss. I went outside and tossed a few rocks from the garden and almost instantly my throat started swelling again, so I came in. It took a few hours for it to go back down. I really need to get the oxygen tank filled. Now if I can just remember that, lol. I got less than 2 weeks before surgery and already I'm behind what needs done, just in case I'm down a bit. I dread the respiratory again. It didn't hurt but it's definitely freaky.
I plan to chat with Rathfoot, no trach for now. It is garden season and bike season. It's also past time I repair the wall downstairs and other odds and ends. The storm damage though will be hired out to Mike to do. That will come later, there are plenty of people that he is working on that have worse damage, so we can wait. It ain't going nowhere, we ain't having to feed it or water it, lol. I do need to check the roof though to make sure it's not leaking. One could say it got the hail beat out of it... pun intended.
Matt done well again today. He worries too much about staying busy but no more than he charges they're coming in left and right. If he sets for an hour and not doing something he worries, lol. I never realized that he is a perfectionist, either that or OCD, lol. It has to be just right, perfect. He has a lot of passion working on computers. They will be married I think Misty said something like 10 years this week. How could I have not noticed that?
Today has been a bit strange. I noticed that I am old now and my kids are grown. My grandkids are now at the age my kids should be. My biggest fear is being a burden rather than making more money or buying stuff... not that I haven't went a little stupid lately, lol. I ran off today without my teeth, ralmao. I didn't even notice until I smiled at the store. Thats when I felt the two canine teeth that stick way up to hold the partial on. What a look I got, lol. I look like a werewolf or vampire without my partial. How on earth does one forget their teeth?
I guess the same way that I catch myself doing what dad done to us kids, sticking them out, putting them upside down and walking past them. I use to look at him and think, does he think that is funny? Well, now I know what he thought because I'm doing the same thing, lol. If nothing else, I'm amused. And I just now found the last pill in under the partial. I thought something tasted weird. I've little taste buds left that work but that was a bit bitter. Think it was one of the steroids. Somehow they aren't working for me like they did for muscle men, my belly is bulking up rather than my arms.
Today was a loss. I went outside and tossed a few rocks from the garden and almost instantly my throat started swelling again, so I came in. It took a few hours for it to go back down. I really need to get the oxygen tank filled. Now if I can just remember that, lol. I got less than 2 weeks before surgery and already I'm behind what needs done, just in case I'm down a bit. I dread the respiratory again. It didn't hurt but it's definitely freaky.
I plan to chat with Rathfoot, no trach for now. It is garden season and bike season. It's also past time I repair the wall downstairs and other odds and ends. The storm damage though will be hired out to Mike to do. That will come later, there are plenty of people that he is working on that have worse damage, so we can wait. It ain't going nowhere, we ain't having to feed it or water it, lol. I do need to check the roof though to make sure it's not leaking. One could say it got the hail beat out of it... pun intended.
Matt done well again today. He worries too much about staying busy but no more than he charges they're coming in left and right. If he sets for an hour and not doing something he worries, lol. I never realized that he is a perfectionist, either that or OCD, lol. It has to be just right, perfect. He has a lot of passion working on computers. They will be married I think Misty said something like 10 years this week. How could I have not noticed that?
Today has been a bit strange. I noticed that I am old now and my kids are grown. My grandkids are now at the age my kids should be. My biggest fear is being a burden rather than making more money or buying stuff... not that I haven't went a little stupid lately, lol. I ran off today without my teeth, ralmao. I didn't even notice until I smiled at the store. Thats when I felt the two canine teeth that stick way up to hold the partial on. What a look I got, lol. I look like a werewolf or vampire without my partial. How on earth does one forget their teeth?
I guess the same way that I catch myself doing what dad done to us kids, sticking them out, putting them upside down and walking past them. I use to look at him and think, does he think that is funny? Well, now I know what he thought because I'm doing the same thing, lol. If nothing else, I'm amused. And I just now found the last pill in under the partial. I thought something tasted weird. I've little taste buds left that work but that was a bit bitter. Think it was one of the steroids. Somehow they aren't working for me like they did for muscle men, my belly is bulking up rather than my arms.
Monday, May 2, 2011
05-01-11
Well here I set again, today ended as quick as it started. About all I got done was 2 block laid and a small part of the garden tilled, so here I set until my swelling goes down in my throat. I've dug out my old hat I wore last year, not the one I wanted but it will do. I took some Benadryl so hopefully that will take this down enough to breathe and at the same time not knock me out. Not so much pain as it is my wind getting cut off. Like a noose is around my neck.
I had big plans to get a lot more done before surgery in a couple of weeks, but I guess the "best laid plans of men and mice" applies. Then again, I ain't done trying yet either. First things first though. I have to get the tiller back into the garage and the wheel barrel full of mud used up. I'll start with my mask this time instead of waiting to wear it. I may even write stupid on my head. :)
Charlie starts his chemo tomorrow and not the light doses he first thought. He chose Dr. Panella at UT, same doctor I have. He shoots pretty straight and takes the time to explain. He is a good doctor. He saw Ruth today too. He laughed and said she told him he wasn't as stubborn as I am. :) It seems to have Charlie's spirits lifted a bit, he was ready to give up yesterday. I never been much on pain pills until this, but they are a blessing in a lot of ways and now Charlie can catch a break. This is his calm before the storm. Real pain hasn't set in just yet, may God be with him through this. I'm trying to get him to learn the web, there is so much enlightening information up here that can help him remain positive.
I know for me, I had a bit of a learning curve with the heart attack, still, without this blog and 106.9 The Light radio station, and other websites, it would have been much rougher. His tastes differ in a few ways than mine, but we are mutual on many things. There is a preacher that a reader turned me onto named Mike Hoggard that I listened to early this morning. He seems pretty good to me, actually one of the best I've heard in a long time. I placed a link on his name. Then I like Chris White and his info. There is also Chip Ingram and Chuck Swindoll. Cancer is a battle, but that doesn't mean one has to fight unarmed or alone. There is also a website called Blog For A Cure that if had I have know existed I would have probably blogged there.
Well, I've pretty well loaded this post with links, killed some time, and hoping it will go down enough to get back to it.
I had big plans to get a lot more done before surgery in a couple of weeks, but I guess the "best laid plans of men and mice" applies. Then again, I ain't done trying yet either. First things first though. I have to get the tiller back into the garage and the wheel barrel full of mud used up. I'll start with my mask this time instead of waiting to wear it. I may even write stupid on my head. :)
Charlie starts his chemo tomorrow and not the light doses he first thought. He chose Dr. Panella at UT, same doctor I have. He shoots pretty straight and takes the time to explain. He is a good doctor. He saw Ruth today too. He laughed and said she told him he wasn't as stubborn as I am. :) It seems to have Charlie's spirits lifted a bit, he was ready to give up yesterday. I never been much on pain pills until this, but they are a blessing in a lot of ways and now Charlie can catch a break. This is his calm before the storm. Real pain hasn't set in just yet, may God be with him through this. I'm trying to get him to learn the web, there is so much enlightening information up here that can help him remain positive.
I know for me, I had a bit of a learning curve with the heart attack, still, without this blog and 106.9 The Light radio station, and other websites, it would have been much rougher. His tastes differ in a few ways than mine, but we are mutual on many things. There is a preacher that a reader turned me onto named Mike Hoggard that I listened to early this morning. He seems pretty good to me, actually one of the best I've heard in a long time. I placed a link on his name. Then I like Chris White and his info. There is also Chip Ingram and Chuck Swindoll. Cancer is a battle, but that doesn't mean one has to fight unarmed or alone. There is also a website called Blog For A Cure that if had I have know existed I would have probably blogged there.
Well, I've pretty well loaded this post with links, killed some time, and hoping it will go down enough to get back to it.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Rathfoot visit
We went to a visit with Dr Rathfoot. He scoped me and saw the swelling still there, plus some. He asked if I had been around anybody sick, which I have almost consecutively this year, apparently my luck ran out. He said I have a cold, something I was suppose to avoid.
He upped my Predisone dose 20mg twice a day and taped it down. 1 antibiotic, Avelox, once a day. This will go until next month when I will be scheduled for surgery, after the Cardiologist clears me. He will inject the area with Kenalog and I'm hoping send me back. He also discussed a temporary Trach, but I'm not sure if this was during that or if this fails. It would allow time for my throat to heal. I'm not really wanting to go along with that one. It's garden and bike season, plus I have more to get done than I've ever had to do and a lot less energy to do it with. There was something else she got filled but I'm not sure what it was.
We are all worn out after what seemed to be Hell night last night. Storm after storm rolling through, the first one being the worse and the second getting fairly close to the first one. So when we got back I walked around looking at the damage. We were far luckier than a lot of other places. The golf ball sized hail punched holes that looked like God had fired a large shotgun through the vinyl siding at Matt & Misty's house and buildings. We don't have siding like that here, so it just blew off paint in spots. Beat up Denise's car a bit and the Taurus, broke the windshield on Big Ugly. As usual, it washed our driveway out again, just not as bad this time...yet. Most of the neighbors houses that had vinyl siding had holes in it and Mark's windows were exploded in the front of his house. Thank God nobody though was hurt and the animals are all alive.
Today is Matt's birthday.
He upped my Predisone dose 20mg twice a day and taped it down. 1 antibiotic, Avelox, once a day. This will go until next month when I will be scheduled for surgery, after the Cardiologist clears me. He will inject the area with Kenalog and I'm hoping send me back. He also discussed a temporary Trach, but I'm not sure if this was during that or if this fails. It would allow time for my throat to heal. I'm not really wanting to go along with that one. It's garden and bike season, plus I have more to get done than I've ever had to do and a lot less energy to do it with. There was something else she got filled but I'm not sure what it was.
We are all worn out after what seemed to be Hell night last night. Storm after storm rolling through, the first one being the worse and the second getting fairly close to the first one. So when we got back I walked around looking at the damage. We were far luckier than a lot of other places. The golf ball sized hail punched holes that looked like God had fired a large shotgun through the vinyl siding at Matt & Misty's house and buildings. We don't have siding like that here, so it just blew off paint in spots. Beat up Denise's car a bit and the Taurus, broke the windshield on Big Ugly. As usual, it washed our driveway out again, just not as bad this time...yet. Most of the neighbors houses that had vinyl siding had holes in it and Mark's windows were exploded in the front of his house. Thank God nobody though was hurt and the animals are all alive.
Today is Matt's birthday.
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