Like at the end of Part 2 said some of this stuff I have left off, it ain't even remotely pretty cool, and embarrassing. You might now have any worries, these are just mine. With the Morphine I have noticed some weird stuff. As a for instance, today while Denise was cleaning and dressing my throat, as ordered 50% Saline 50% Hydrogen Peroxide with 4 inch gauze strips, Maiderm lotion. Yep this is painful so I personally have a problem laying still and being in pain, especially if the pain is constantly being supplied. I'm not sure if I will let her then again, she may already have it up, a few minutes before my wife caught her and made her stop.
Now here I am off topic again, so lets get back to the topic, weird side effects. While she was applying the Radiation Lotion I began to move my hand as if I was holding a cleaning cloth and rubbing the bottom of the dash in a 1970-1981 Camaro. In my mind I was doing this. I was aware that I wasn't but soon realized that I wasn't just dreaming that I was doing it... poof, I was back to this world. I asked Denise if I was making the motion (same motion), which she confirmed. I told her what I thought I was doing.
The other morning, with the help yet another drug known for these actions, which I used frequently over the last several years with nothing bad happening, finally did. Denise said I awoke completely confused, and I remember being confused. I was scared and trying to pull the IV out, arguing, and while non violent, also crossed over the line and became violent. I was so embarrassed. I was aware yet unable to gain control for a while. After that, I turned down the pills.
These are only two instances and these are the worse so far. Others though are bad, like dry mouth.... and I mean DRY MOUTH, Sleepy and tired yet unable to sleep. Memory loss. Now here is biggie in the world of throats, liquid. The liquid will burn you up! I was given liquid from they said the doc a few times. I do believe that was Alcohol... actually a nurse confirned it.
There is more... but that will have to be another day.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Sunday 20th Part 2
As promised... back again. Panella came through about 9:30am and checked. He said that my white cells are 2.2 but my NutraFill (?) haven't went up. Something about fighting off infections. There went the Sunroom visits. Supposely plants, fresh fruit, etc. Here is a good page from a search http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla%3Aen-US%3Aofficial&hs=AQV&q=neutropenia+and+flowers&btnG=Search&aq=f&oq=&aqi=
The day has went well. Slooowww, but well. I get these extreme bouts of tired, but that is all. A minor headache. I have had these ( Scabs ?) that break loose from the insides of my throat. Each time they break-away, a sharp, fast pain hits. How long it stays depends upon what you are doing, have done, and what you do during the pain. Usually though it ends up turning out good. Like the large piece that came up today. It hurt bad but in the end , swallowing and especially swallowing something without it going up your nose.
Here is an example. I swallowed a large vitamin pill, well lubricated I might add. I done my usual cough, grunt, gag... severe times. The nurse watched with amazement. I guess I must have looked either crazy or like a lair. I mumbled to myself, inaudibly and embarrassed. well it didn't go to my lungs, but it don't feel like it went down the right way either. Ahhhh the sinus cavities. I then made a snorting sound and leaving a brown trail right down my tongue the large pill. That was a Kodak Moment. The look on her face. I don't think she had ever saw that before. She kind of started listening to me on pain meds. I would imagine being an RN she thought she had saw it all, guess that changed, lol.
Denise left and went home, they have a lot of patients to see tomorrow and Charlie came in replacement of Denise. Panella said home was a 95% possibility, I tried to get a time frane and the best I could get was between 9-12. Green is suppose to stop in and check and discuss the restart date. I really don't want to start back before Christmas... given the spots are a bit better healed. I know they don't wait until I'm completely healed but there is no reason that I can see in starting something that will have to be postponed. I could be wrong and would highly a reason to do it this way.
There is much, much more to tell but fatigue, extreme fatigue strikes me hard right now. I also need to tell about the side effects of the pain medication that I'm taking, this being one of them.
The day has went well. Slooowww, but well. I get these extreme bouts of tired, but that is all. A minor headache. I have had these ( Scabs ?) that break loose from the insides of my throat. Each time they break-away, a sharp, fast pain hits. How long it stays depends upon what you are doing, have done, and what you do during the pain. Usually though it ends up turning out good. Like the large piece that came up today. It hurt bad but in the end , swallowing and especially swallowing something without it going up your nose.
Here is an example. I swallowed a large vitamin pill, well lubricated I might add. I done my usual cough, grunt, gag... severe times. The nurse watched with amazement. I guess I must have looked either crazy or like a lair. I mumbled to myself, inaudibly and embarrassed. well it didn't go to my lungs, but it don't feel like it went down the right way either. Ahhhh the sinus cavities. I then made a snorting sound and leaving a brown trail right down my tongue the large pill. That was a Kodak Moment. The look on her face. I don't think she had ever saw that before. She kind of started listening to me on pain meds. I would imagine being an RN she thought she had saw it all, guess that changed, lol.
Denise left and went home, they have a lot of patients to see tomorrow and Charlie came in replacement of Denise. Panella said home was a 95% possibility, I tried to get a time frane and the best I could get was between 9-12. Green is suppose to stop in and check and discuss the restart date. I really don't want to start back before Christmas... given the spots are a bit better healed. I know they don't wait until I'm completely healed but there is no reason that I can see in starting something that will have to be postponed. I could be wrong and would highly a reason to do it this way.
There is much, much more to tell but fatigue, extreme fatigue strikes me hard right now. I also need to tell about the side effects of the pain medication that I'm taking, this being one of them.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Sunday 20th Part 1
Oh what a night, It's 2:30am and I awake once again tonight in pain. I mouth breathe in my sleep. I had some more Morphine at 12:30, and it did work, but only so much. I ended up giving in and using the Linocaine to numb... but it, like the pain meds, only go so far. At least I have web and TV. At home I seldom watch TV, but in this small penthouse suite (lol), funny what one will do.
We do have an humidifier running now. I don't have any of the junk food here I have at home though. I need to go home.
Will Add More Later
We do have an humidifier running now. I don't have any of the junk food here I have at home though. I need to go home.
Will Add More Later
Sat 19th- End Of Day
It's been a very busy day today. Mom and Charlie came by then mom and day, Misty & Matt, Megan, Richard & Missy, and the grand-kids. All in all pretty busy day. The company was nice. The grand-kids weren't allowed up on this floor or in the room, but Josh and Brandon were insistent. The let them come up but they weren't allow to touch anything or come too close. I figured high five's didn't count, lol. Mom and dad stayed in the room and had Denise or I knew they were coming that fast we'd have waited long on the pain meds. I have to hit the premium time after taking the Morphine so that I can get the fullest effect. That ended up being done in front of them, wich I hated to do, Megan was also in here. Ended up dad tried to make small talk, I guess to take my mind off of it, mom never said a word, while I heard Denise snap at Megan no! She filmed it, lol.
By the time the treatment was over mom left to go send Matt and Misty up... Misty said mom cried. I viewed the video that Megan done while Denise addressed my wounds, it is bad. I'm still at odds as to Megan putting it up or not.
Misty had Megan take this picture of me and her. This is my oldest daughter. Pretty good picture, eh? Looking at this picture tonight made me realize that if it all ended tomorrow, I at least done 3 things right in my life and have had many blessings bestowed upon me... this being one of them.
We have excellent nurses again this night, hopefully my last one. I declined the sleeping pill after awaking in a freaked out state this morning. I don't understand a lot of this, but the one thing I do is something that I have always understood, moderation.I am going to attempt to talk with Panella about this internal swelling of my throat.http://lightnight99.blogspot.com/2009_12_01_archive.html
By the time the treatment was over mom left to go send Matt and Misty up... Misty said mom cried. I viewed the video that Megan done while Denise addressed my wounds, it is bad. I'm still at odds as to Megan putting it up or not.
Misty had Megan take this picture of me and her. This is my oldest daughter. Pretty good picture, eh? Looking at this picture tonight made me realize that if it all ended tomorrow, I at least done 3 things right in my life and have had many blessings bestowed upon me... this being one of them.
We have excellent nurses again this night, hopefully my last one. I declined the sleeping pill after awaking in a freaked out state this morning. I don't understand a lot of this, but the one thing I do is something that I have always understood, moderation.I am going to attempt to talk with Panella about this internal swelling of my throat.http://lightnight99.blogspot.com/2009_12_01_archive.html
Saturday... 19th morning
Well, we're still here. This morning Panella stopped in and said while progress was being made, we are a ways yet, but maybe tomorrow. I stayed up late last night so that Denise could get some much needed sleep, she doesn't get worrying about my mouth breathing.
Mom and Charlie stopped in and brought a humidifier and some stuff we needed from home that didn't get here due to the snow yesterday. The got to see first hand the intense pain cleaning and dressing the wounds cause. The nurse is going to check on something to numb the outside of my throat while the wounds are being addressed. By gollies would that ever be great.
So far, once while eating and once while taking liquid meds, I've gotten choked severely that have produced small pieces of meat that rots and breaks away. Much like the outside only even more painful. Panella said that Green would not wait until it completely heals before restarting. While I kinda know that, I'll be damned if I will let him start before I am ready. This is still my body and I am still in charge of it.
Well that is today as of 2pm and where we stand. My rant for today, lol. We've got a good nurse again... thank God.
Mom and Charlie stopped in and brought a humidifier and some stuff we needed from home that didn't get here due to the snow yesterday. The got to see first hand the intense pain cleaning and dressing the wounds cause. The nurse is going to check on something to numb the outside of my throat while the wounds are being addressed. By gollies would that ever be great.
So far, once while eating and once while taking liquid meds, I've gotten choked severely that have produced small pieces of meat that rots and breaks away. Much like the outside only even more painful. Panella said that Green would not wait until it completely heals before restarting. While I kinda know that, I'll be damned if I will let him start before I am ready. This is still my body and I am still in charge of it.
Well that is today as of 2pm and where we stand. My rant for today, lol. We've got a good nurse again... thank God.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Dec 18th, Part 2
Part 2 -
It has been a weird day... very weird. Green came by and sat on the bed and chatted for a while. We discussed the treatment and some of the sour outcomes so far that we're trying to heal from. We briefly discussed the continuation of the treatment. Green wants me to call his office on Tuesday. I talked with him about the crazy but sweet RN that seems to vanish when called. I told him I had waited 4 hours on pain meds and acid reflux pills. How I had rung into the station 5-6 times for my IV machine to be reset before finally giving up, putting on my shoes and jacket, grab my IV machine and went to them. A lady that attended us briefly between shift changes saw me, fix it, and said she'd get my meds. Within 10 minutes, it was all done correctly.
Later on, Panella came by and said that my white blood cells was up to 1.01... we're making some improvements. He said maybe tomorrow... but probably not. I went over the events with the nurse that could have played a part in the movie, "Misery". I'm not sure just how much Panella listened to, but it didn't matter. After my chat with Green, we had another nurse that was good. I think it even shocked her after she stepped into the corner and stepped where it was sticky. It was about 1/2 of a bag of antibiotics she let run out. 4 hours for a acid reflux pill and pain pills?
I did explain that I didn't want to be here and could do better at home. I am on the laptop so we will not get detailed until I get home on a computer. I also have a close-up picture of my throat so that when I write about Denise cleaning my wound, you will see what I am talking about. I'm not sure how much farther I will go. This has become a mess, I have become a mess. I talked on my cell phone and on the hospital phone tonight and it wasn't until Denise handed me back the cell and she told me it was gross and needed cleaning did I see all the skin pieces plastered on the phones.
We've been cleaning the wounds since I've been here. I think the nurses were suppoae to do it but after nobody offered, Denise said if they would bring the supplies that she would. Within 15 minutes... supplies! You have to use a 50/50 mixture of saline and hydrogen peroxide and bandage strips. You lay the now soaked (we used 4 inch strips) of a gauze like stuff on the injured part. We do this in a 2 stage, 1 for front and side, the other part for the back and side, mine is a full circle. Be prepared. The more you do this the worse it hurts so pray you don't get a nurse that screws up your pain meds like I did. This we repeat until I can't stand it of about 2-3 times. Then you pat dry, removing dead burnt skin, believe me... it will go layers. Anyway, you then apply the lotion your doctor has approved or one that worked for someone you know. Yep, you are about to break those Pearlie Whites again out of pain, lol. Eventually the lotion will ease the pain in in just a few hours, you are ready to do it again. You do this until either you run outta skin, or outta dead skin.
Please note caregiver. The lesions, burns, and blisters are but a mere reflection of what the inside looks like. Actually the inside is worse I'm told... and I'd have to agree. It is not going to be easy for the victim no matter how much you try, but you can make it as painless as possible. Also please note that there is no reward for getting done faster. When the skin just sloughs off, it will wait for you to come and get it. The again, it may await a phone to attach itself too, lol. Like mine did.
The white places are dead skin and meat that just keep sloughing off. It's not the nest pic in the world but not bad for a cell phone either. Remember, the outside shows only a portion of what the inside looks like.
I have a fever of 101.3 tonight again. The nurse went to get a Tylenol pill, hopefully it will not be a repeat of this morning.
It has been a weird day... very weird. Green came by and sat on the bed and chatted for a while. We discussed the treatment and some of the sour outcomes so far that we're trying to heal from. We briefly discussed the continuation of the treatment. Green wants me to call his office on Tuesday. I talked with him about the crazy but sweet RN that seems to vanish when called. I told him I had waited 4 hours on pain meds and acid reflux pills. How I had rung into the station 5-6 times for my IV machine to be reset before finally giving up, putting on my shoes and jacket, grab my IV machine and went to them. A lady that attended us briefly between shift changes saw me, fix it, and said she'd get my meds. Within 10 minutes, it was all done correctly.
Later on, Panella came by and said that my white blood cells was up to 1.01... we're making some improvements. He said maybe tomorrow... but probably not. I went over the events with the nurse that could have played a part in the movie, "Misery". I'm not sure just how much Panella listened to, but it didn't matter. After my chat with Green, we had another nurse that was good. I think it even shocked her after she stepped into the corner and stepped where it was sticky. It was about 1/2 of a bag of antibiotics she let run out. 4 hours for a acid reflux pill and pain pills?
I did explain that I didn't want to be here and could do better at home. I am on the laptop so we will not get detailed until I get home on a computer. I also have a close-up picture of my throat so that when I write about Denise cleaning my wound, you will see what I am talking about. I'm not sure how much farther I will go. This has become a mess, I have become a mess. I talked on my cell phone and on the hospital phone tonight and it wasn't until Denise handed me back the cell and she told me it was gross and needed cleaning did I see all the skin pieces plastered on the phones.
We've been cleaning the wounds since I've been here. I think the nurses were suppoae to do it but after nobody offered, Denise said if they would bring the supplies that she would. Within 15 minutes... supplies! You have to use a 50/50 mixture of saline and hydrogen peroxide and bandage strips. You lay the now soaked (we used 4 inch strips) of a gauze like stuff on the injured part. We do this in a 2 stage, 1 for front and side, the other part for the back and side, mine is a full circle. Be prepared. The more you do this the worse it hurts so pray you don't get a nurse that screws up your pain meds like I did. This we repeat until I can't stand it of about 2-3 times. Then you pat dry, removing dead burnt skin, believe me... it will go layers. Anyway, you then apply the lotion your doctor has approved or one that worked for someone you know. Yep, you are about to break those Pearlie Whites again out of pain, lol. Eventually the lotion will ease the pain in in just a few hours, you are ready to do it again. You do this until either you run outta skin, or outta dead skin.
Please note caregiver. The lesions, burns, and blisters are but a mere reflection of what the inside looks like. Actually the inside is worse I'm told... and I'd have to agree. It is not going to be easy for the victim no matter how much you try, but you can make it as painless as possible. Also please note that there is no reward for getting done faster. When the skin just sloughs off, it will wait for you to come and get it. The again, it may await a phone to attach itself too, lol. Like mine did.
The white places are dead skin and meat that just keep sloughing off. It's not the nest pic in the world but not bad for a cell phone either. Remember, the outside shows only a portion of what the inside looks like.
I have a fever of 101.3 tonight again. The nurse went to get a Tylenol pill, hopefully it will not be a repeat of this morning.
Dec 18th, - Another Day
Rough night last night. I mouth breathed and Denise would wake me up so I could stop, but it still done damage. I spit up blood on and off again. My O2 stats were low again so I wore Oxygen all night and suppose to have it on now. I kept a low grade temperature all night and took Tylenol.
I'm getting worried, acid reflux is a big no-no. It's almost 9:30 and we've asked a few times... still no meds. But they don't want me bringing my own? Luckily I don't need my blood pressure meds, my blood pressure has stayed low, not sure what that is a sign of. Couldn't eat this morning, too sore, but the food looked good.
Called yet again for my acid reflux meds... still nothing. I sent Denise after some over the counter ones. She was afraid they would kick me out but hey, making me worse off isn't helping. She thought the same thing when I stopped the radiation, now they are glad I did.
The nurses last night... on th spot. So much differnt than today's, save one.
I'm getting worried, acid reflux is a big no-no. It's almost 9:30 and we've asked a few times... still no meds. But they don't want me bringing my own? Luckily I don't need my blood pressure meds, my blood pressure has stayed low, not sure what that is a sign of. Couldn't eat this morning, too sore, but the food looked good.
Called yet again for my acid reflux meds... still nothing. I sent Denise after some over the counter ones. She was afraid they would kick me out but hey, making me worse off isn't helping. She thought the same thing when I stopped the radiation, now they are glad I did.
The nurses last night... on th spot. So much differnt than today's, save one.
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