Another day, but a better one in some ways. More pain is seeping through when I eat, except the Banana Popsicles, lol. My left foot some better but the right is making up for it. Only threw up once, just a while ago, could have done without that, especially those that catch you off guard and go out your nose. OK, thats probably T.M.I. lol.
Been another lazy day. Did get some stuff done for mom, actually a lot. Tomorrow I'll rest up a bit.
Denise has a sore throat... sounds kinda like me, lol. I've heard that when your married long enough you start to look alike, never heard you would sound alike.lol. Hopefully she will feel better tomorrow.
.
If the snow ever quits I'll get more fluids.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
02-15-2010
Much better day today. Still extreme pain in feet and at the same time they are numb... definitely weird. Hands still numb and just a little throat pain after eating tonight, nothing major. My neck is still a little red and still burns a bit, like a mild sunburn.
I decided to let hair grow where it will, lol. My "soul patch" is salt and pepper and you can actually see the radiation lines, lol. It actually comes up pretty high on the lower jaw, higher than I though and where the two teeth I lost are located. I've been tempted to shave but I want to see where this goes. Amazing what boredom and a small mind will do,lol. The hair on my head is growing face but in the front where it was already thin, it looks like it may be thinner. It seems to be coming in salt and pepper too. No hair coming back anywhere else. My back neck line is higher than I had thought.
No nausea today for a change. As we go down on the patch, more pain shoots through. I'm curious to see what level it will be at the next drop. Not that I'm into pain, but I also don't want to be a junkie.
Bouts of fatigue but they don't last long. Bone pain and some of the nervous attacks. I haven't talked as much today, hard to believe, eh? Still struggling with hydration and weight. Rash seems it may be decreasing.
I went back on my blood thinners yesterday. Depression at times and brain fog.
Overall much better than yesterday.
I decided to let hair grow where it will, lol. My "soul patch" is salt and pepper and you can actually see the radiation lines, lol. It actually comes up pretty high on the lower jaw, higher than I though and where the two teeth I lost are located. I've been tempted to shave but I want to see where this goes. Amazing what boredom and a small mind will do,lol. The hair on my head is growing face but in the front where it was already thin, it looks like it may be thinner. It seems to be coming in salt and pepper too. No hair coming back anywhere else. My back neck line is higher than I had thought.
No nausea today for a change. As we go down on the patch, more pain shoots through. I'm curious to see what level it will be at the next drop. Not that I'm into pain, but I also don't want to be a junkie.
Bouts of fatigue but they don't last long. Bone pain and some of the nervous attacks. I haven't talked as much today, hard to believe, eh? Still struggling with hydration and weight. Rash seems it may be decreasing.
I went back on my blood thinners yesterday. Depression at times and brain fog.
Overall much better than yesterday.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
2-14-2010
Today has been a set back. I guess I'm paying for 2 active days. Not active in the sense I once was, just active. With only 1 trip for fluids last week my skin is drying out. The rage is still as it was. I've never fully regained my balance or use of my left foot and leg which is weird. The pads of my feet are extremely tender and it still feels like lightening bolts ever time I step shoot through my body. All that while I freeze and my hands and feet stay numb everywhere else. Today, my fatigue was extensive along with a sick feeling in my stomach. Memory is gone, especially short term. Within 1 week I have lost 6 lbs.
While I glad that I am weaning off the patch, it did do more than I had thought. We ate at Captain D's yesterday and my throat was as if if were raw. I had forgotten just how bad it hurts, that reminded me. Weather permitting, I'll get my thyroid checked maybe tomorrow and fluids Tuesday or Wednesday.
My hair is trying to grow and I have a small go-tee. This is goig to take a lot more effort than I first thought.
While I glad that I am weaning off the patch, it did do more than I had thought. We ate at Captain D's yesterday and my throat was as if if were raw. I had forgotten just how bad it hurts, that reminded me. Weather permitting, I'll get my thyroid checked maybe tomorrow and fluids Tuesday or Wednesday.
My hair is trying to grow and I have a small go-tee. This is goig to take a lot more effort than I first thought.
Friday, February 12, 2010
02-12-10
Woke up in a touch more pain, but not much though. I'm just glad we're stepping down the patch and can't wait to do away with it.
I've stayed busy today running errands, Matt to Morristown to get his van, the to Sevierville to buy a welder, then to Russellville to do an inspection and BPO on a house, then the paperwork. I'm tired and I bet I will be paying for this day, lol.
My weight is 193. Not tickled about that but hey, I still made it without a feeding tube. We've begun the step down on the patch and today I woke with just a bit more pain, but nothing intolerable. My rash is still ongoing, have no idea.
I didn't go but once this week for fluids, I may go twice next week... naa, probably once. My feet still feel like the front pads are swollen, but they're not. It is extremely painful to walk, the left foot seems worse than the right foot. It is both front pads but only 1 heal that hurts. They are numb yet painful... how does that happen? That don't even make sense. Hey, I even drove myself!
I still have to watch and really focus on eating, least I get choked. The same goes for drinking. I attempted a Coke again today. Key word in that was attempted, lol.
On a good note... I'm beginning to get hair! It seems to be growing really fast on my head and chin. It still hasn't graced the rest of my body yet. The more it comes the warmer I feel. The pale death look is leaving and I am slowly getting some color back. Now if I could just build my muscles and stamina back. Then again this weather would need to cooperate. Bone pain seems to be the next order to tackle. Then again, swelling
going down where I can swallow normally would be nice. As soon as I can, I need the 5 or so teeth that radiation killed took out, that would help me chew.
Actually I'm in a good frame of mind today even though it may not seem it. I thought I'd just keep it real.
I never got my thyroid checked yet, need to.
I've stayed busy today running errands, Matt to Morristown to get his van, the to Sevierville to buy a welder, then to Russellville to do an inspection and BPO on a house, then the paperwork. I'm tired and I bet I will be paying for this day, lol.
My weight is 193. Not tickled about that but hey, I still made it without a feeding tube. We've begun the step down on the patch and today I woke with just a bit more pain, but nothing intolerable. My rash is still ongoing, have no idea.
I didn't go but once this week for fluids, I may go twice next week... naa, probably once. My feet still feel like the front pads are swollen, but they're not. It is extremely painful to walk, the left foot seems worse than the right foot. It is both front pads but only 1 heal that hurts. They are numb yet painful... how does that happen? That don't even make sense. Hey, I even drove myself!
I still have to watch and really focus on eating, least I get choked. The same goes for drinking. I attempted a Coke again today. Key word in that was attempted, lol.
On a good note... I'm beginning to get hair! It seems to be growing really fast on my head and chin. It still hasn't graced the rest of my body yet. The more it comes the warmer I feel. The pale death look is leaving and I am slowly getting some color back. Now if I could just build my muscles and stamina back. Then again this weather would need to cooperate. Bone pain seems to be the next order to tackle. Then again, swelling
going down where I can swallow normally would be nice. As soon as I can, I need the 5 or so teeth that radiation killed took out, that would help me chew.
Actually I'm in a good frame of mind today even though it may not seem it. I thought I'd just keep it real.
I never got my thyroid checked yet, need to.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
02-11-10
It's been another day of mixed. My throat has been killing me today and I have stayed tired, so tired. We dressed my neck last night and I will dress it again tonight. I've gotten fluids once this week and that was the only time, perhaps twice next week? My preference was to rest and sleep but I ended up going with mom to Pigeon Forge to straighten a property listed, rental cabin. Funny how people can lie on the phone but not a easy face to face. I think it's straightened out now and mom will be OK on this one. I actually drove it!
My appetite is still missing. I ate 2 pancakes this morning and 1/2 a piece of chicken. I bought the chicken and should have remember that I can't eat extra crispy just yet, for that matter the spices aren't too well. My mouth is sore and I have an ulcer on my bottom lip... bet that has something to do with the upset stomach the last few days. But at least it didn't go to waste, the kids and Denise ate it.
Again my heels and pretty much the whole bottom of my feet are tender and painful to walk on. I'm not sure what that stems from. It feels like the whole bottom of my feet have stone bruises. That's not counting what feels like voltage shooting up every step I take, it actually doesn't hurt.
My hair seems to be growing at a great rate... Thank God. Even mom noticed it was coming back today when I took off my toboggan.
Tomorrow I run Matt to get his van then head to Sevierville Exxon to buy a stick welder at the place he and I discussed meeting.
Perhaps tomorrow will go better and should I need rest I will get rest. Although it would be great not to even need rest. It does get old after a while.
My appetite is still missing. I ate 2 pancakes this morning and 1/2 a piece of chicken. I bought the chicken and should have remember that I can't eat extra crispy just yet, for that matter the spices aren't too well. My mouth is sore and I have an ulcer on my bottom lip... bet that has something to do with the upset stomach the last few days. But at least it didn't go to waste, the kids and Denise ate it.
Again my heels and pretty much the whole bottom of my feet are tender and painful to walk on. I'm not sure what that stems from. It feels like the whole bottom of my feet have stone bruises. That's not counting what feels like voltage shooting up every step I take, it actually doesn't hurt.
My hair seems to be growing at a great rate... Thank God. Even mom noticed it was coming back today when I took off my toboggan.
Tomorrow I run Matt to get his van then head to Sevierville Exxon to buy a stick welder at the place he and I discussed meeting.
Perhaps tomorrow will go better and should I need rest I will get rest. Although it would be great not to even need rest. It does get old after a while.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
2-9-10
I didn't write yesterday, it was one of the not so good days in a lot of ways and yet it was not too bad as well. I got the dishwasher instillation finished and re-plumbed the sink too. I took my time and when I started sweating I stopped until I cooled down ever mindful of the patch. My feet and bones ached yesterday and my balance wasn't the greatest.
Today me and Charlie ventured down to UT for another drink, lol. We stopped at Hardees to grab a bite to eat and were the first into the Chemo Hut. I got the pick of the chairs, lol. I try and get the one on the end close to the bathroom. Charlie headed to Sams after they started. I slept on and off but when I was awake I learned a few things. I asked to see my blood work and they gave me a copy. There are seven things that are marked that stand a need for improvement. Some are within normal ranges barely. The nurse said that in all her years working in the field that she has only seen a few other times that such an intense, aggressive plan had been used and that I had surpassed all expectations. As she explained that I still have a long way to go, that they had never seen anybody fight any harder or make any better progress than I have. They are pleased.
A little later on I asked another nurse about the pain patch and if I could cut back on the time it takes to wean off of it. She said that in all her years in this field that the treatment plan chosen for me was the most aggressive plan she had ever witnessed, and one of the hardest. She said she was surprised at how hard I have fought and that she was pleased at the progress I have made now and throughout the whole process. She and the other nurse earlier had both said how they have never seen a harder therapy plan and how they were surprised at how I fought throughout this whole thing and the progress inch by inch I had accomplished. She said for a while she wasn't sure how this would turn out and while she never spoke or showed it, she said my attitude was the ray of hope she had that I would make it through this.
On the way back we stopped at Shoneys where the ladies there said that I had been such an inspiration to them. They watched me struggle to eat, saw the pain in my face and yet I didn't complain, I always just smiled. The say they hear people come and fuss over a head ache or a muscle ache and frown and be hateful and yet through all this I always smiled and was courteous.
All three instances I thanked them but said that I deserve none of the credit. I have a lot of support from a great family and friends. I had many, many great people who prayed for me and that prayer works. The P.U.S.H. Pray Until Something Happens. There were times I wanted to quit, one time stopping eating for three days. There were many times I was carried not only by family (literally) but by Jesus throughout this all. Then I was blessed by being cared for by people who actually cared, not just there to do a job, but really cared. To take credit for this in my opinion would be wrong on my part for I could not have done this alone. Thank God I did not have to try, for I would have failed. Yes, I have fought but I have done so by the Grace of God. Blessed by my family, friends, and staff that worked on me.
Tonight Denise looked at my head... I am getting some hair back! Already I have a baby soul patch trying, lol, and now it has started back on my head. Some of it is coming in black and some gray... hey, I'll take it any color, lol. Anywhere, lol.
The soreness in my throat is not too bad today, so much different than yesterday. I still get choked easy but we're working on it. Today... I ride atop the world. Tomorrow... the world may ride atop me. Either way, each day is nothing more than a battle in the war.
Today me and Charlie ventured down to UT for another drink, lol. We stopped at Hardees to grab a bite to eat and were the first into the Chemo Hut. I got the pick of the chairs, lol. I try and get the one on the end close to the bathroom. Charlie headed to Sams after they started. I slept on and off but when I was awake I learned a few things. I asked to see my blood work and they gave me a copy. There are seven things that are marked that stand a need for improvement. Some are within normal ranges barely. The nurse said that in all her years working in the field that she has only seen a few other times that such an intense, aggressive plan had been used and that I had surpassed all expectations. As she explained that I still have a long way to go, that they had never seen anybody fight any harder or make any better progress than I have. They are pleased.
A little later on I asked another nurse about the pain patch and if I could cut back on the time it takes to wean off of it. She said that in all her years in this field that the treatment plan chosen for me was the most aggressive plan she had ever witnessed, and one of the hardest. She said she was surprised at how hard I have fought and that she was pleased at the progress I have made now and throughout the whole process. She and the other nurse earlier had both said how they have never seen a harder therapy plan and how they were surprised at how I fought throughout this whole thing and the progress inch by inch I had accomplished. She said for a while she wasn't sure how this would turn out and while she never spoke or showed it, she said my attitude was the ray of hope she had that I would make it through this.
On the way back we stopped at Shoneys where the ladies there said that I had been such an inspiration to them. They watched me struggle to eat, saw the pain in my face and yet I didn't complain, I always just smiled. The say they hear people come and fuss over a head ache or a muscle ache and frown and be hateful and yet through all this I always smiled and was courteous.
All three instances I thanked them but said that I deserve none of the credit. I have a lot of support from a great family and friends. I had many, many great people who prayed for me and that prayer works. The P.U.S.H. Pray Until Something Happens. There were times I wanted to quit, one time stopping eating for three days. There were many times I was carried not only by family (literally) but by Jesus throughout this all. Then I was blessed by being cared for by people who actually cared, not just there to do a job, but really cared. To take credit for this in my opinion would be wrong on my part for I could not have done this alone. Thank God I did not have to try, for I would have failed. Yes, I have fought but I have done so by the Grace of God. Blessed by my family, friends, and staff that worked on me.
Tonight Denise looked at my head... I am getting some hair back! Already I have a baby soul patch trying, lol, and now it has started back on my head. Some of it is coming in black and some gray... hey, I'll take it any color, lol. Anywhere, lol.
The soreness in my throat is not too bad today, so much different than yesterday. I still get choked easy but we're working on it. Today... I ride atop the world. Tomorrow... the world may ride atop me. Either way, each day is nothing more than a battle in the war.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
02-07-2010
Denise and me certainly done our share of running yesterday... and it was fun. Today though I have paid for yesterday's fun. My throat has been extremely raw and sore and I have just ran out of energy. Today I just lazied around except for starting the instillation of a new dishwasher. It should have been about an hour job. Come to find out it needs a special reducer elbow and I just wasn't up to a trip to Morristown to get one. That will have to be finished tomorrow. This is going to take longer than I thought to get back on my feet. Yesterday Denise said she could tell I was tired. I started losing my balance and dragging my feet rather than picking them up and walking. Personally I didn't notice.
Denise noticed some new hair growth on my head. It is coming in part black and part gray or blond, not sure which yet. I have a "soul patch" attempting to grow, lol. It is gray but I'll take hair any color at this point, lol.
The rash is still ongoing. Old ones dry while new ones start. It is painful to some degree. My skin is still showing the signs of dehydration so I will go back some time this week and get more fluids.
Swallowing has been all but impossible today. It hurts when i do and when I don't and getting choked is very easy to do. I will skip the blood thinner pill for fear of not being able to swallow it.
I wonder sometimes just how long it will take. It does get a bit depressing after being so active for so long. Add that to not having hair and muscles, and it gets to me sometimes.
Denise noticed some new hair growth on my head. It is coming in part black and part gray or blond, not sure which yet. I have a "soul patch" attempting to grow, lol. It is gray but I'll take hair any color at this point, lol.
The rash is still ongoing. Old ones dry while new ones start. It is painful to some degree. My skin is still showing the signs of dehydration so I will go back some time this week and get more fluids.
Swallowing has been all but impossible today. It hurts when i do and when I don't and getting choked is very easy to do. I will skip the blood thinner pill for fear of not being able to swallow it.
I wonder sometimes just how long it will take. It does get a bit depressing after being so active for so long. Add that to not having hair and muscles, and it gets to me sometimes.
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