02-28-2011

  Man what a storm today in more ways than one. This evening when my brother came back to the house to get me to take the tractor and scrape his gravels off the road and level back out his driveway he dropped a bomb. For those who have read the blog from the days of the treatments they read where Charlie, my stepdad took me to Radiation therapy. Today he went to an ENT and they discovered a tumor in his throat. It is in the same as mine was. He has throat cancer or Esophageal Cancer, whichever you want to call it. They will do his biopsy in about 2 weeks to determine what kind and what stage. I would ask that you please include him in your prayers.

  I would also remind those who read this that if you have certain symptoms to please get checked out. Trust me. The scope that they run in your nose and into your throat does not hurt, and that coming from a man that hates to have anything other than air and my finger in my nose. His symptoms were having a small amount of problems swallowing. Frequent sore throats (more than two a year), ear pain. Now we both smoked which that, chewing, and dipping plays a factor but a factor just as much if not more is Acid Reflux. He had that just as I did. If you are worried about not wanting to know, it is survivable. Most people know that I believe in alternative therapies yet in some cases when it has gone too far conventional therapies must be taken. I was asked where I would be if I had refused conventional medicine and went alternative medicine and my response is that I would have smothered to death by now. That isn't a guess. That is a fact.

  So now I get to repay the favor to Charlie, yet I wish I couldn't repay him for I know how hard it is to get through this. He is a good man, so please remember him in your prayers.

  Tomorrow I am to make a call to Rathfoot to give them an update on my throat and the swelling and if the medication is working. I may wait until Wednesday though. It isn't working. I'm not exactly sure what happens next. During the day it is a tad better but at night it hasn't changed. I dread making that call. I really would like to do without surgery yet I know that Denise is getting wore out waking me and propping me up a few times a night. I'm kind of tired of fighting for breaths myself. We both stay tired.

  On the brighter side I went and looked at two Jennys (female Jackasses). The lady will not separate them and after watching the two I saw why, they are so attached to each other. If it is dry enough I will go get them this weekend. Jack will not only have buddies but mates. The floods today took down 3 sections of the new fence I will need to repair and me and Megan repaired what driveway we could and will have to buy more gravel. I called today to get an order placed for 20 ton. We didn't go back in the woods to check that fence but I'm pretty sure it is down too. Kind of depressing and yet that is just part of it. Tomorrow I will have to also ride up to the cows and check that fencing too, plus the cows. Lord what a day.     

2-24-2011

Woke up tired this morning, well, yesterday morning now. Denise said she had to do whatever that is she does a few times last night. I know once I remember he waking me up. I'm still sluggish from whatever that was Tuesday night when I woke up with intense pain in my stomach that went through my back. Disoriented and completely uncoordinated, thinking I needed to head to the bathroom to throw up. I was sweating quite a lot, pretty much soaked. I haven't felt pain that intense since the night I had the heart attack or the times when they would first start the chemo and when my body rejected it.

  Misty called and we met at Food City and got breakfast and took it to mom's and ate. That was nice. I enjoyed that a lot and I think everybody else did too. Fed the cows and just goofed off.

  Tonight my throat is a bit tighter than usual. Breathing is a bit more labored. I really don't want to go to sleep and maybe Denise can catch a good night's sleep for a change, but that don't seem likely. I know she is tired.  

2-22-11 Dr Rathfoot follow-up

  Well, it could have been better but it could have went worse too. It started a bit rough though. We stopped at Hardees and got us a biscuit. After 9 pills I have a little while before I get sick at my stomach to eat. The plastic temporary bridge snapped into two pieces. I ate enough bites to at least have something on my stomach. I pieced it together and placed it back on as best I could so that it wouldn't look too bad when I smiled. I called Morristown Dental Center and they made me an appointment for 10am. They made another one. I barely made the appointment. I thought that was super of them to get me in in short notice. That is a great bunch of people there. They all are nice and know their stuff, and they actually care.  

  No evidence of the tumor, an excellent thing. The swelling hasn't improved. It has held it's ground even with steroids. He said he worries about me catching a cold with the swelling as it is now. He asked if I had a hard time breathing, which I don't until nighttime and with activity. Apparently there is some concern for it closing off, I kinda figured something like that. Denise says she doesn't sleep well listening for me to make weird breathing noises and that she wakes me up or at least gets a response from me when I do. I think that answers the question of why she does that, and I thought she was just paying me back for snoring, lol. So apparently the danger of my throat closing is a real issue. Plus aspiration is an issue. I do swallow better now depending on what liquid I use, size, and texture it is. I never fully got back my taste after the chemo. Most things I can taste hurts my tongue and throat if I eat them.

  He wants to try an anti-inflammatory medicine in addition to the Predisone, which we will increase from 10mg per day to 20mg per day, taken in two doses. He first suggested Celebrex which Denise objected to. She said that it was what I was taking when I tore the shoulder and neck before my heart attack. I don't remember what the name of his second choice was, but they both liked it. Rathfoot had an Intern with him again today and asked if he wanted to look through the scope. He looked and Denise asked if she could look through the scope, and he let her look. He did ask if I was ok with that which was no problem. I would liked to have looked myself, even though I probably wouldn't have a clue what I was looking at. I think me looking though wouldn't be possible since it is up the nose and down into the throat.    

 I figure that the odds are good and if they aren't, I have no problem going in my sleep. Not that I would want Denise to find me that way, but I'm chicken. I don't figure I'll be going anywhere before my time and when it is time I am ready, so all is good there. I would like to get my garden out though. Hurry up spring. If nothing else I need some of this weight off me. When I got off the scales I could have swore I heard it give a sigh of relief. Time to feed everybody now, Jack is pissed not to mention the orphaned kittens and chickens are probably hungry. Overall it has been a good day. At least I'm holding my own so far. Plus the other guy, he is doing good too. I don't know his name but I gave permission to Dr Rathfoot to read this blog. If he is, hang tough and remember you never walk alone unless you just want to. You are going to be fine.   

02-18-2011

Eye Appointment today with Dr Jaynes. I wanted to wait until the effects of the chemo and Hyperbaric Oxygen treatments had stabilized. Man that was an through exam, I think the best one I've ever had. My eyes had changed quite a bit. I was expecting that though. Cheryl helped me pick out the glasses. She is good at that so I went with what she thought. They talked me back into bifocals again, we will see.

  Other than that I tossed a dead skunk out of the yard the dogs killed, had lunch with William, talked to BB (cousin), fed the cows, finished the fence at Misty's house, dug a pit for Matt, fed the animals, and played with the puzzle. I'm wore out but it feels good to be tired from something productive. It wasn't a god day. It was a great day today.   

02-17-2011

  Good day today, beautiful weather. My neuropathy is the same and I noticed while being outside that my balance is compromised a lot. Probably the Gabipentin (spelling). I had forgotten all about that. I stopped in the office to help mom with an email, shot the bull at Food City with the girl in the movie department. The my feet reminded me it was getting time to take another pill.

 I go Friday to get my eyes checked and then Tuesday to Rathfoot for a check up to see if the predisione is working. The breathing isn't better and neither is the pain, both though are tolerable, I've seen worse. I got the new fence started at Misty's house to expand the side and back yard. It's just a small section which use to would be just a few hours work, I'll finish it tomorrow. The bridge fell out again tonight so I Gorilla Glued it back on, lol. Now I have to wait and eat when it's dry. It ain't like I couldn't live off all this weight I've gained, lol. I'm tired even though I slept late. I may have to reconsider putting out more than 1 garden.

  I still have some curl in my hair, love it. It isn't long enough yet to cover my neck, but I'm working on it.  

02-13-2011

 Megan has been out of school the last two day, closed for sickness. We have had a ball. She helped me get my desk from the office and today we exchanged them out here at home. We visited with mom. Played with the animals. This morning we went to Shoney's in Dandridge where me and Charlie would stop almost everyday after treatments. It was nice to see them all again there. Most didn't know me with long hair now. They have seem me at my worst. We ate and ate.

   My temporary partial they made for me came off last night. I found pretty quickly that I couldn't eat with just 2 teeth left, so I Gorilla Glued it back in. :) I go back Monday for an impression and I hope it will come off ok. So far it's lasted, lol. I figured the glue can't be anymore poisonous than the chemo. :)  I have found out while me and Megan have been running and working that my stamina just ain't there yet. I'm still trying to adjust to the new me, and I hate it. The neuropathy hasn't let up a bit. I even had to use the Pitiful Pas one day when I parked, I try not to use that in case someone needs it more.

  This month starts back doctor visits and the 22nd we see if I escape surgery for the radiation damage. Then next month another try to see if the cancer is gone. Hopefully this one will go better. At one time I was numb to getting stuck, now I'm back not so numb. I dread it. I kept a sore throat most of the week but thankfully today it is gone for the most part.

  I figure that if God grants me another summer that I will put out some extra corn, about just under an acre. If not then maybe I'll at least get two gardens planted. I'll keep my hair long to keep the sun off my neck, which should help. Last year even with sunscreen it got rough. 

2--2-11

I woke up this morning kind of unusual. From the hips down both felt swelled and heavy and partially numb. It felt like I had ran a mile or been mountain climbing. The Neuropathy in my feet was unbelievable. This was a first like that. I took my pills yesterday actually on time, didn't forget any. Denise kind of helped me around and after some messaging, she done one, I done the other, I was about to walk down the hall slowly to the bathroom. I took an extra Gabipentin (spelling) and continued to work with the legs after she left for work for about an hour. Then I started walking around for another hour or so, taking breaks. They finally came back but I remained weak the whole day. The pain and stiffness I haven't had like that since the chemo, which done it every time. But that's been a year, over a year. I'm not sure what that was.   

2-1-2011

Denise woke me up this last night a few times. She said I was making a strange noise and not breathing right. I think it was all the swelling. This morning I was still bleeding a little. Maybe I sound have not tried to be active yesterday, but man was it ever a beautiful day. I woke myself up once, I gasped like I had been holding my breath. It ended up good. Denise was getting ready for work and I quietly made my way to her bathroom where she was getting ready. Slowly turned on the vent fan and she saw my hand and the noise all the sudden. Too funny. I never heard anybody scream like that before, lol. Then I ran. :) Kinda chilled a bit today. I get too active I throb, but it's getting better. I used the pain pills again today but maybe none tomorrow, just a few today. I hate the way I fee with them almost as much as the pain. The swelling is going down some, so it should be good tomorrow. Today I mostly played outside and then inside when it throbbed. Ordered a few pounds of corn seed and Celtic Salt, and a few others seeds.