We just kind of hung out today, I seemed to have found something that I'm allergic to in the garden. I'll take it that it's still there as I keep having reactions to it. :) I stayed inside until I can heal up in my eyes, throat, and whatever the blood thing is.
We went to UT and saw Charlie. His immunity is building slowly but things aren't too good. It seems he has all but given up. Its been a week since he ate, he is still bleeding in his throat. We discussed maybe he should get a feeding tube, actually I guess I discussed he should have one. It seems strange since I fought against it and didn't have one, but things are different for different people.
He said that even water hurts, I remember that all too well. Room temperature water hurts less than cold or warm. He spit up some more blood while we were in there. He has just 16 more radiation treatments to go, but that stuff keeps working for a week or two past the treatment. For now he is on vacation from it.
There comes a point in time that dying is easier than living. I cannot fault him for wanting to toss in the towel, but hopefully he will change his mind and fight. Most people can't relate to that and I pray that they never will be able too. When the battle goes so long and we wear down, it looks as if there is no end, dying becomes easier than living. Unless one has been there no amount of reading and studying, no amount of observation, no amount of anything short of actual experience can explain this.
I wish he would use the pain meds to their fullest extent. I think he is even more afraid of them than I was. I tried to remain positive, empathic yet strong. Right now he feels like he is the only person who knows this pain, and while that isn't correct, I think that goes along with it. I did that too. He is living Hell on Earth right now and it is so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Had I not promised Denise I'd fight, had my family and friends, and this blog, who knows. It is only by the Grace of God that we go. He looked tired in his eyes and one could see the pain.
Meanwhile William is in the hospital as well. Seems he decided that he would not take the meds for his Diabetes. I talked with him today and maybe tomorrow he will get to come home. I fussed at him for that one.
I've a list of things to do tomorrow, Megan says she will help. I kind of wimped out towards the end of the week. Denise looked at the beans in the garden and decided maybe just a few more, so I need to add that. We walked back to take another glimpse at the roof. Man it looks great. Actually I think the best it has ever looked. Thanks to Pete and his crew, a big thanks.
So tonight say a prayer for Charlie to fight. He is over half way there but I know he can't see the finish line from where he is. So pray for him to see it and fight.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Saturday, July 30, 2011
07-30-2011
I got into something that didn't like me too well in the garden again. Swelled, itchy eyes. It could have been the peppers or some kind of weed. The bleeding seems to have slowed, maybe even stopped. I'm still tired so I've chilled out a bit the last few days.
Finally my roof is done. I walked it over, checked it out, and man did they do a great job this time, slight miscommunication. The new skylight is installed perfectly, lines on shingles and pattern perfect, but the thing that impressed me the most is the chimney flashing. The flashing on the sunroom is just as awesome.
Charlie is improving a little but has a way to go. I'm hoping that we will go see him tomorrow. He has to go positive to beat this stuff. Hard to do though with all the pain, but it must be done.
I listened to this, worth the listen.
Finally my roof is done. I walked it over, checked it out, and man did they do a great job this time, slight miscommunication. The new skylight is installed perfectly, lines on shingles and pattern perfect, but the thing that impressed me the most is the chimney flashing. The flashing on the sunroom is just as awesome.
Charlie is improving a little but has a way to go. I'm hoping that we will go see him tomorrow. He has to go positive to beat this stuff. Hard to do though with all the pain, but it must be done.
I listened to this, worth the listen.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
07-28-2011
Hot again today. I passed blood again through the bowels again so I stayed in and trimmed the garlic and bagged it until the heat went down. My throats isn't as swollen. That can't last long though, I need to bushhog at least 15 acres, and still have the garden to work. Denise canned her 105th qt of green beans.
Charlie is still in the hospital, he went neutropenic, and I probably spelled that wrong. :) He has also been bleeding a lot in his throat. They gave him 2 units of blood.
Misty's biopsy proved inconclusive for cancer, they want to run more tests.
Sleep study set up for next month, then follow-up the next.
The contractor was suppose to come by this evening, he didn't make it... imagine that. He hasn't seen the job yet. Part of me would love for him to see what it looks like, part would not want him near my house. I hate being mad, I usually don't get mad. When I look at it, it looks like Larry, Curly, Moe, and Ray Charles done that. I miss the days when me, dad, Joe, and sometimes a couple of friends done all the work that needed to be done. Built into this house in 3 locations are the names of everybody who built it and what they did. Only me and Charlie remain, and we can do little more than watch and help a little now.
The tip on massaging actually works, thanks.
Charlie is still in the hospital, he went neutropenic, and I probably spelled that wrong. :) He has also been bleeding a lot in his throat. They gave him 2 units of blood.
Misty's biopsy proved inconclusive for cancer, they want to run more tests.
Sleep study set up for next month, then follow-up the next.
The contractor was suppose to come by this evening, he didn't make it... imagine that. He hasn't seen the job yet. Part of me would love for him to see what it looks like, part would not want him near my house. I hate being mad, I usually don't get mad. When I look at it, it looks like Larry, Curly, Moe, and Ray Charles done that. I miss the days when me, dad, Joe, and sometimes a couple of friends done all the work that needed to be done. Built into this house in 3 locations are the names of everybody who built it and what they did. Only me and Charlie remain, and we can do little more than watch and help a little now.
The tip on massaging actually works, thanks.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
07-23-2011
I finally hit the wall again, but I made it a bit more this time before I did. The NHL is getting pretty active, perhaps stress plays a part. Today was not a ladder day but I made it one to view more of the new roof, hence the stress. A bit of depression along with anger. I usually don't get mad. If had this have been just a few years ago I could have replaced the roof instead of trying to find someone. Once again I find they left out something they said was there. I had to crawl down the front of the house but I did it. Nuff said, BP's going up.
Misty is sore from another biopsy. So far they have all proved inconclusive for cancer, thank God. Something is still wrong though. She is down for a time and in pain. Apparently she takes after her dad on following instructions, right kiddo. :)
Charlie is sick as a dog from his last chemo, but that should change about any day now. He is taking a vacation from the radiation.
I sat and rested today and done errands. Me and Denise both just chilled. I think Megan was just happy there wasn't anymore beans to break. :) My bleeding seems to have stopped finally, but I'm tired, maybe heat, stress, and bleeding, all in combination, who knows.
Misty is sore from another biopsy. So far they have all proved inconclusive for cancer, thank God. Something is still wrong though. She is down for a time and in pain. Apparently she takes after her dad on following instructions, right kiddo. :)
Charlie is sick as a dog from his last chemo, but that should change about any day now. He is taking a vacation from the radiation.
I sat and rested today and done errands. Me and Denise both just chilled. I think Megan was just happy there wasn't anymore beans to break. :) My bleeding seems to have stopped finally, but I'm tired, maybe heat, stress, and bleeding, all in combination, who knows.
Friday, July 22, 2011
07-22-2011
Hot again today and I picked beans again. I climbed up on the roof and found they had busted the Chimney, not flashed it properly, and I think the junk they put on it isn't heat proof. I wonder if this is partially what starts house fires. This was their 2nd attempt to do a simple task. Combined with 2 other things that the Three Stooges, and my words of great job went poof. Followed by ending their working on anything else. I seldom get mad but I did this time.
Misty has female problems, they think maybe cancer in her lady parts. She is in pain tonight and bleeding. Please pray for her.
Sally has the NHL spreading yet again. She is having a bad time with it.
I got beans picked but from the bleeding in (I guess my bowels where it comes out from), it's maybe from taking the pills on an empty stomach in the mornings.
I have 4 rows to pick over again, then we're done for a while. Time to pick the rest of the garden.
Misty has female problems, they think maybe cancer in her lady parts. She is in pain tonight and bleeding. Please pray for her.
Sally has the NHL spreading yet again. She is having a bad time with it.
I got beans picked but from the bleeding in (I guess my bowels where it comes out from), it's maybe from taking the pills on an empty stomach in the mornings.
I have 4 rows to pick over again, then we're done for a while. Time to pick the rest of the garden.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
07-21-2011
I've had some good days despite the heat. Kind of pushing it a little with picking the beans but have to do them as they come due. Megan came out to get more beans to string and break and watched for quite a while while I picked and a Bumble Bee pollinated everywhere I was picking. At times he was close enough to land on my hand and never more than 3 inches from it. This is what I have tried to teach her and she is learning quite well. He has his job to do and I have mine, that makes us friends. We can both work together, even in the same space in peace.
I think between the weeds and sun I must have slightly overexposed, throat is a little swelled and tight. I figure that as slow as I am we have about 3 or 4 more days, then I'll let the rest go to seed for next year. Denise has canned 49qts so far of beans and now the tomatoes are ready, plus the new pickling cucumbers. We are all 3 tired. I think there is at least one Banana Mellon, my father-in-law gets the first and/or the best one. He is wheelchair bound now and he grew them many years ago. Brings him good memories back of when he grew them, plus a good taste too.
Charlie is in pain and a bit down, but I think he is doing good. I took them some tomatoes over but he can't eat them. He is done with chemo and half way through radiation. A bit negative but I totally remember that myself and can relate.
We got our check from the insurance today and I've looked it over. They cut some things back but done well on others. It won't totally fix everything but it's close enough, I'm tired of fighting. Pete's guys finished all but the skylight on our house. I wasn't expecting them this soon but it's great as long as those with more damage are taken care of. They done a great job on it. Those guys had to be wiped, yesterday's heat index I'm told was 107. It was like being in a sauna. I started picking beans early this morning again and sweat just rolled off immediately, I couldn't imagine being on a roof. God bless all those who are out in this stuff. Weather like this, I don't miss the brown truck. :)
I think between the weeds and sun I must have slightly overexposed, throat is a little swelled and tight. I figure that as slow as I am we have about 3 or 4 more days, then I'll let the rest go to seed for next year. Denise has canned 49qts so far of beans and now the tomatoes are ready, plus the new pickling cucumbers. We are all 3 tired. I think there is at least one Banana Mellon, my father-in-law gets the first and/or the best one. He is wheelchair bound now and he grew them many years ago. Brings him good memories back of when he grew them, plus a good taste too.
Charlie is in pain and a bit down, but I think he is doing good. I took them some tomatoes over but he can't eat them. He is done with chemo and half way through radiation. A bit negative but I totally remember that myself and can relate.
We got our check from the insurance today and I've looked it over. They cut some things back but done well on others. It won't totally fix everything but it's close enough, I'm tired of fighting. Pete's guys finished all but the skylight on our house. I wasn't expecting them this soon but it's great as long as those with more damage are taken care of. They done a great job on it. Those guys had to be wiped, yesterday's heat index I'm told was 107. It was like being in a sauna. I started picking beans early this morning again and sweat just rolled off immediately, I couldn't imagine being on a roof. God bless all those who are out in this stuff. Weather like this, I don't miss the brown truck. :)
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
For Cali on Peanut Beans
Hey Cali, here is the post I promised. On your Crooked Neck Squash, try putting some Epson Salts on them. This is what we use on tomatoes and other plants if them show forms of rot.
A Peanut bean, also called Old Joe Clark bean is a small green bean, absolutely delicious. Every year I say I'm not going to grow them, then we hit that last quart and I cave in. Denise is done 14 quarts today and tomorrow maybe another 11. Our pressure canner does 7 quarts so I'll pick some of the Turkey Crawl beans to make up the rest. My first successful (?) year at getting them. For two 100ft rows normally they would be better but with the way this year and weird weather has been, I'm pleased. Not as good as I usually do but better than I expected. Peanut beans are a bush green bean, though I run lines to try and keep them as erect as possible. They do have to be stringed which is also a pain given the small size.
The beans shown are from 2009. Left to Right, Peanut, Greasyback, 1/2 White Runner, State, Rattlesnake. I think you can click on it to make it larger.
This is what they look like when growing They are the two rows on the right. Last year we had the most beautiful vines, but few beans. These look so-so but have done better. Our Tomatoes and some of the Cabbage have done well considering 2 hail storms, it cut off most of the Onions, Garlic made it through though. We have the prettiest Pepper Plants we've ever had. They'd be even prettier if they had peppers, lol. Don't give up, I think it's the weather we've had these last 2 years.
Peanut Beans are the best tasting green bean we've ever eaten. They are an heirloom bean. The draw backs to them are it seems like your not getting anywhere when you pick them and even less when you break them, lol. I do ours a bit different. Some people pull their plants up and take off the beans. I do a 1st picking and try and train the plant to stand back up while also weeding what weeds are there. Then later I do a 2nd picking, leaving the pods that aren't ready. The remaining ones I leave to mature out and when I pull the plants then I keep them for seeds.
This is my 2nd year attempting Turkey Crawls and probably my last, unless something changes. Personally I'd rather do Rattlesnake , but Denise don't like them.
Here is a video of our gardens.
A Peanut bean, also called Old Joe Clark bean is a small green bean, absolutely delicious. Every year I say I'm not going to grow them, then we hit that last quart and I cave in. Denise is done 14 quarts today and tomorrow maybe another 11. Our pressure canner does 7 quarts so I'll pick some of the Turkey Crawl beans to make up the rest. My first successful (?) year at getting them. For two 100ft rows normally they would be better but with the way this year and weird weather has been, I'm pleased. Not as good as I usually do but better than I expected. Peanut beans are a bush green bean, though I run lines to try and keep them as erect as possible. They do have to be stringed which is also a pain given the small size.
Peanut Beans are the best tasting green bean we've ever eaten. They are an heirloom bean. The draw backs to them are it seems like your not getting anywhere when you pick them and even less when you break them, lol. I do ours a bit different. Some people pull their plants up and take off the beans. I do a 1st picking and try and train the plant to stand back up while also weeding what weeds are there. Then later I do a 2nd picking, leaving the pods that aren't ready. The remaining ones I leave to mature out and when I pull the plants then I keep them for seeds.
This is my 2nd year attempting Turkey Crawls and probably my last, unless something changes. Personally I'd rather do Rattlesnake , but Denise don't like them.
Here is a video of our gardens.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
07-13-2011
I'm finally out and about, now I'm tired and sore, lol. I love it. We started the day with no power. It went off about 6am. I fumbled down the hall and went out on the back porch, what a lightening show it was, all around us. Denise would have feel over if she saw me out there watching.
I picked bean, Peanut Beans today. Denise broke most of them. I have a row and a 1/2 left of that type. Lotta work, little bean, big flavor. I'm just taking my time, weeding as I go and training them. Taking breaks when it becomes too much (thought I'd never say that). I sent Josh back with Tomatoes and cucumbers, sent mom a tomato too. On the beans we should get at least 14 quarts of what we have now.
I got a disturbing email from Sally tonight, she is very ill. The Targetin has caused a bad effect on and she has a fever. I met Sally and Aubra (deceased now) on the Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma board. We have the same kind only Aubra's was more advanced than Sallys and hers more advanced than mine is. Please remember tonight to pray for her to get better. She is a good woman.
I picked bean, Peanut Beans today. Denise broke most of them. I have a row and a 1/2 left of that type. Lotta work, little bean, big flavor. I'm just taking my time, weeding as I go and training them. Taking breaks when it becomes too much (thought I'd never say that). I sent Josh back with Tomatoes and cucumbers, sent mom a tomato too. On the beans we should get at least 14 quarts of what we have now.
I got a disturbing email from Sally tonight, she is very ill. The Targetin has caused a bad effect on and she has a fever. I met Sally and Aubra (deceased now) on the Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma board. We have the same kind only Aubra's was more advanced than Sallys and hers more advanced than mine is. Please remember tonight to pray for her to get better. She is a good woman.
07-12-2011
Sitting here, awake again but still run down in a way. I hit yet another wall, but I seen that one coming, I just didn't expect the results to be as they were. I slept Saturday night and pretty much all day Sunday and until Monday. I would stay up a bit then back down. Dizzy, double vision, and just worn out. Last night I went outside and maybe it's the heat or a weird ragweed or something but my throat swelled up big time. It makes it hard to breathe when it does that. The neuropathy is raging again, almost a whole week of it.
I haven't checked on Charlie in 2 days. He is having a hard time with the radiation earlier than I did. He has that chemo color about him, but only 1 more to go. Chemo though is the easy part. I told him to not let them burn him like they did me, demand a vacation if it gets too painful.
The bandannas seem to work, beats a mask which I never can remember to go and get, Denise says that takes effort. :) I tell her I'm Jesse James looking for a train to rob, lol. Keeping it soaked with cool water helps the body temps too. Who knows, maybe it will catch on, lol.
I planned on come hell or high water picking the green beans. Neither came but the rain and lightening did, I figured close enough, so here I set and there the beans are outside waiting. Just the Peanut Beans are ready but the Turkey Crawl and 1/2 White Runners are coming on strong. Megan's gone to Denise's mom and dad's house for a week, man it's too quiet here alone.
I got a haircut... sorta, lol. Jackie Sue done a good job as always. I could tell she wanted to cut more, lol, but she did what I asked her to do. I think Denise was in hopes that she could convince me to get more cut off. Now to work on getting about 20lbs off.
I've talked with Sally and Glenda Heywood, haven't talked with Glenda in a while. I miss our talks every weekend years ago. She runs the animal board at the website. The lady is a walking encyclopedia of knowledge on birds and animals. Me and Denise alwasy looked forward to her visits and we alwasy put her magazines in each shipment back then.
I haven't checked on Charlie in 2 days. He is having a hard time with the radiation earlier than I did. He has that chemo color about him, but only 1 more to go. Chemo though is the easy part. I told him to not let them burn him like they did me, demand a vacation if it gets too painful.
The bandannas seem to work, beats a mask which I never can remember to go and get, Denise says that takes effort. :) I tell her I'm Jesse James looking for a train to rob, lol. Keeping it soaked with cool water helps the body temps too. Who knows, maybe it will catch on, lol.
I planned on come hell or high water picking the green beans. Neither came but the rain and lightening did, I figured close enough, so here I set and there the beans are outside waiting. Just the Peanut Beans are ready but the Turkey Crawl and 1/2 White Runners are coming on strong. Megan's gone to Denise's mom and dad's house for a week, man it's too quiet here alone.
I got a haircut... sorta, lol. Jackie Sue done a good job as always. I could tell she wanted to cut more, lol, but she did what I asked her to do. I think Denise was in hopes that she could convince me to get more cut off. Now to work on getting about 20lbs off.
I've talked with Sally and Glenda Heywood, haven't talked with Glenda in a while. I miss our talks every weekend years ago. She runs the animal board at the website. The lady is a walking encyclopedia of knowledge on birds and animals. Me and Denise alwasy looked forward to her visits and we alwasy put her magazines in each shipment back then.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
7-7-2011
I got the meds today to get rid of another yeast infection in my throat today. Denise says the steroids causes it. It makes the throat feel swollen and sore and I get tired a lot. Today I slept on and off all day. I did manage to water garden 2. Hard job there, Open the garage, hook up the hose, and let the sprinkler go at it. :)
I visited Charlie again, saw him on the porch. He is 8 down now out of 35 radiation treatments and 1 chemo to go. He said he can't taste much, saliva glands quit, and in a lot of pain. Still, he won't take pain meds. I wasn't too keen on it either but they definitely have their place in life, saw that first hand. Used correctly they are a God send. He is pretty bitter, and I can see that but being bitter is a waste of time. Humble is which way to head.
I got the bike back together a day or so ago. Denise was about to kick my butt, I had it all over the garage downstairs. I guess she is thinking about the VW Beetle a few years back. All it needed was a new top. I didn't like the paint job so I decided to sand and paint it. Couldn't figure out how to sand in the tight spaces so I dissembled it. It's still there on jack stands in the garage between the Camaro and Skylark... in pieces. :) None of the cars can come out though. I've never finished the tracks on the new garage door either, lol. The a/c was fixed in the house. 2 or 3 year old unit and each year it goes down. It's suppose to be under warranty but this time was 98 bucks.
Now for something I need to write that I can look back on and laugh about. I got a call a couple days ago from a lady doing a survey. It was on TV. I'm not a big TV fan. So she asks if I watch the news. I say occasionally the local one, maybe 2-3 times a week. She asks if I watch world news . I tell her no I read mine on the web. She asks why. I tell her I like fantasies but with a story line. So she asks how much TV I watch. I tell her just one to two shows, occasionally more. She starts with times frames.
By this time Denise asks who is on the phone and I tell her. The lady says from 6-6:30. I say no. Then she begin to divide them into one hour time frames. Each time I say no. Denise heard me say now for the time frame (I repeated each one after her) of 9-10 pm. Denise says "You watch Swamp People". I said, "I love that show, chute 'em Elizbeth, chut 'em. I can sound just like Troy. The next thing I heard was a click, she hung up. lol Too funny. The crap I do sometimes.
As of the finish I notice it is after 12pm. I have at least made it to 51 officially. I'm 228 lbs now, like I need to eat birthday cake... but I'm gonna.
I visited Charlie again, saw him on the porch. He is 8 down now out of 35 radiation treatments and 1 chemo to go. He said he can't taste much, saliva glands quit, and in a lot of pain. Still, he won't take pain meds. I wasn't too keen on it either but they definitely have their place in life, saw that first hand. Used correctly they are a God send. He is pretty bitter, and I can see that but being bitter is a waste of time. Humble is which way to head.
I got the bike back together a day or so ago. Denise was about to kick my butt, I had it all over the garage downstairs. I guess she is thinking about the VW Beetle a few years back. All it needed was a new top. I didn't like the paint job so I decided to sand and paint it. Couldn't figure out how to sand in the tight spaces so I dissembled it. It's still there on jack stands in the garage between the Camaro and Skylark... in pieces. :) None of the cars can come out though. I've never finished the tracks on the new garage door either, lol. The a/c was fixed in the house. 2 or 3 year old unit and each year it goes down. It's suppose to be under warranty but this time was 98 bucks.
Now for something I need to write that I can look back on and laugh about. I got a call a couple days ago from a lady doing a survey. It was on TV. I'm not a big TV fan. So she asks if I watch the news. I say occasionally the local one, maybe 2-3 times a week. She asks if I watch world news . I tell her no I read mine on the web. She asks why. I tell her I like fantasies but with a story line. So she asks how much TV I watch. I tell her just one to two shows, occasionally more. She starts with times frames.
By this time Denise asks who is on the phone and I tell her. The lady says from 6-6:30. I say no. Then she begin to divide them into one hour time frames. Each time I say no. Denise heard me say now for the time frame (I repeated each one after her) of 9-10 pm. Denise says "You watch Swamp People". I said, "I love that show, chute 'em Elizbeth, chut 'em. I can sound just like Troy. The next thing I heard was a click, she hung up. lol Too funny. The crap I do sometimes.
As of the finish I notice it is after 12pm. I have at least made it to 51 officially. I'm 228 lbs now, like I need to eat birthday cake... but I'm gonna.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
07-03-2011
I slept in today and stayed out of the heat. These last few days I must be allergic to something. Throat swelled, eyes matted together, tired. I did get the bike back together finally, except the tubes I need for the air horn, compressor is different.
Charlie is back sick again, 3rd chemo just now hitting. So far his radiation is ok, then again, he is just now starting it.
Charlie is back sick again, 3rd chemo just now hitting. So far his radiation is ok, then again, he is just now starting it.
I got an email from Donald Morris-Vincent who reads this blog and has started his own blog on called lickingcancer. He has Tongue Cancer. His URL is at
http://licking-cancer.com Happy 4th
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