For my girls:
Friday, January 22, 2010
1-22-10 today's events
I spent last night in and out but building up strength. This morning Bill and Charlie came back here when it was time to leave and helped me get to Denise's car. On the way down after a few sips of water I would throw up (but uncontrollably), bile. I had to sip the water to keep my throat from cracking where it was so dry, so it was one of those catch 21 things. Charlie followed us down to UT. The parking lot was full so Denise dropped me off at the elevators and helped me to the bench. After she parked the car she went to Panella's and borrowed a wheelchair and came and got me. Ruth got her one extremely quick. I had always turned down a wheelchair, even when I was admitted so I guess that must have set off some alarms.
I had a tad more strength and balance but not enough to make it. They drew blood work but we never got the results, they were extremely busy in the Chemo Hut today. They took us back into a small room close to a bathroom that only had 2 chairs for patients and 2 for company. Ruth had already started an IV and was running fluid and some kind of medicine to settle my stomach. When it came time for the second bag of fluid they brought a needle in with some kind of new drug that started with an R that was a laxative type shot given sub-Q. In about 20 minutes I went to the bathroom. I noticed by the end of the 1st bag of fluid that my thick secretions had actually thinned and I began making saliva a little. By the second bag, I had real saliva.
Panella sent me to X-Ray and they shot a couple on my abdomen. It showed no blockage but still some poop way up high in my intestines. By tonight my saliva is thickening. The first time I went prepared to stay and offered no resistance to staying, but they sent me home. He wrote a script for some kind of laxative but also told me tonight to get some kind of liquid laxative to drink. It comes in Lemon flavor and after just two sips I was pretty much in tears from the pain. Shame though, it did work a little with just two sips. It must be acidic and anything acidic is not doable for a throat cancer patient who's throat is burnt up from radiation.
We're trying to figure out what to eat. It can't be too small or it gets stuck in the sores inside my throat. Too large and it can get stuck due to the swelling inside. Too stringy and it stands a chance of ending up choking from the compromised gag reflex. Needs to be easily digestible and soft. So far I've ate three puddings.
Here is a bit of information that we were told today that would have come in handy earlier. A bowel movement should be everyday when taking chemo, radiation, especially with all the meds. How much information have we been told AFTER the fact or from other patients. Not only would it be nice to be told up front but it might also be nice to be handed a sheet with a few facts and possibilities because when you are told you have cancer, will be taking chemo and/or radiation, you can not comprehend all that is hitting you at once. I think I read the average human retains about 25% of verbal information on the average. Now imagine the horror, fear, and shock and try and get a decent factor out of that. Even with at least two other people in there, the odds aren't good because more than likely the people accompanying the afflicted are emotionally attached. Little stuff like using lotions or mouth sprays to help the moisture in the mouth, not eating with metal after Taxotere, all this came from other patients. Why? OK, so maybe not everybody has this happen but as long as there is the possibility, and you hear it from many patients, why not pass along the information? Why not have a printed sheet so they can reflect back when the shock factor is lower? At the least they will be informed and if they escape these things they are better off, but I haven't spoken to even one that has escaped these things yet.
I had a tad more strength and balance but not enough to make it. They drew blood work but we never got the results, they were extremely busy in the Chemo Hut today. They took us back into a small room close to a bathroom that only had 2 chairs for patients and 2 for company. Ruth had already started an IV and was running fluid and some kind of medicine to settle my stomach. When it came time for the second bag of fluid they brought a needle in with some kind of new drug that started with an R that was a laxative type shot given sub-Q. In about 20 minutes I went to the bathroom. I noticed by the end of the 1st bag of fluid that my thick secretions had actually thinned and I began making saliva a little. By the second bag, I had real saliva.
Panella sent me to X-Ray and they shot a couple on my abdomen. It showed no blockage but still some poop way up high in my intestines. By tonight my saliva is thickening. The first time I went prepared to stay and offered no resistance to staying, but they sent me home. He wrote a script for some kind of laxative but also told me tonight to get some kind of liquid laxative to drink. It comes in Lemon flavor and after just two sips I was pretty much in tears from the pain. Shame though, it did work a little with just two sips. It must be acidic and anything acidic is not doable for a throat cancer patient who's throat is burnt up from radiation.
We're trying to figure out what to eat. It can't be too small or it gets stuck in the sores inside my throat. Too large and it can get stuck due to the swelling inside. Too stringy and it stands a chance of ending up choking from the compromised gag reflex. Needs to be easily digestible and soft. So far I've ate three puddings.
Here is a bit of information that we were told today that would have come in handy earlier. A bowel movement should be everyday when taking chemo, radiation, especially with all the meds. How much information have we been told AFTER the fact or from other patients. Not only would it be nice to be told up front but it might also be nice to be handed a sheet with a few facts and possibilities because when you are told you have cancer, will be taking chemo and/or radiation, you can not comprehend all that is hitting you at once. I think I read the average human retains about 25% of verbal information on the average. Now imagine the horror, fear, and shock and try and get a decent factor out of that. Even with at least two other people in there, the odds aren't good because more than likely the people accompanying the afflicted are emotionally attached. Little stuff like using lotions or mouth sprays to help the moisture in the mouth, not eating with metal after Taxotere, all this came from other patients. Why? OK, so maybe not everybody has this happen but as long as there is the possibility, and you hear it from many patients, why not pass along the information? Why not have a printed sheet so they can reflect back when the shock factor is lower? At the least they will be informed and if they escape these things they are better off, but I haven't spoken to even one that has escaped these things yet.
1-22-10
This has to be short as I've not enough strength to write.
My last radiation treatment was today and charlie and I were tickled. We were headed to Shoneys to eat when I suddenly felt the need to poop, I decided to wait until we got there. Shortly afterward I became dizzy and within minutes I had to vomit. Charlie pulled to the side of the road. We done this at least 4 times. I either lost consciousness or memory, the next thing I remember was pulling down my driveway.
I got out and headed for the fence to hold onto, Charlie went to the back and got my mask and certificate. As I entered the gate I thought I could make it to the Oak tree, then the back porch rails. I didn't. I made maybe 2 steps and fell over into the small rock garden. Charlie helped me up and pretty much carried me into the house. I made it to the couch and Charlie got me a waste basket and I continued to through up yellow and green looking liquid. That went on for hours. It was dry heaves until something that felt like it came from deep inside came out. Again I either lost consciousness or something on and off.
I asked Denise for 2 laxatives which causes me to throw up several times and it was greenish. Denise gave me two enemas later on which produced about 2 cups of poop, some blood tinged. We called Dr Panella which said I could either go to the ER or wait until my appointment tomorrow. I chose to wait. Dr Panella thinks that my blood pressure had dropped and not to take any more blood pressure medicine until we see him. We've checked my blood pressure several times and it runs about 139/89.
It's now 5am and I managed to walk to the bathroom by myself for the first time. I decided to write this entry before laying back down. This is the first time I've been able to sit up in almost 24 hours. My throat is killing me but I'm afraid to take any pain meds. Charlie is coming back here this morning to help me to the car, between him and Denise I should be able to get to the car.
My last radiation treatment was today and charlie and I were tickled. We were headed to Shoneys to eat when I suddenly felt the need to poop, I decided to wait until we got there. Shortly afterward I became dizzy and within minutes I had to vomit. Charlie pulled to the side of the road. We done this at least 4 times. I either lost consciousness or memory, the next thing I remember was pulling down my driveway.
I got out and headed for the fence to hold onto, Charlie went to the back and got my mask and certificate. As I entered the gate I thought I could make it to the Oak tree, then the back porch rails. I didn't. I made maybe 2 steps and fell over into the small rock garden. Charlie helped me up and pretty much carried me into the house. I made it to the couch and Charlie got me a waste basket and I continued to through up yellow and green looking liquid. That went on for hours. It was dry heaves until something that felt like it came from deep inside came out. Again I either lost consciousness or something on and off.
I asked Denise for 2 laxatives which causes me to throw up several times and it was greenish. Denise gave me two enemas later on which produced about 2 cups of poop, some blood tinged. We called Dr Panella which said I could either go to the ER or wait until my appointment tomorrow. I chose to wait. Dr Panella thinks that my blood pressure had dropped and not to take any more blood pressure medicine until we see him. We've checked my blood pressure several times and it runs about 139/89.
It's now 5am and I managed to walk to the bathroom by myself for the first time. I decided to write this entry before laying back down. This is the first time I've been able to sit up in almost 24 hours. My throat is killing me but I'm afraid to take any pain meds. Charlie is coming back here this morning to help me to the car, between him and Denise I should be able to get to the car.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
1-20-10
Today went well, very quickly. I had taken 20 mg of Morphine about 2 hours prior which kinda worried me if I had to much with the cocktail in my system. Charlie and me stopped by Shoney's again and ate afterward, the Morphine really paid off there. I ate a whole plate full of stuff. When we got back though it was all over. I dressed my neck and attempted to get on the computer and boom, I was exhausted and thought I'd lay down a bit. I slept until 11:30am when Denise called.
Everything was out of my system and I went by the office for the first time in a long time. I was headed for Morristown to order a garage door when the break through pain hit, so I headed back home. I brought a gift that Al and Carol had dropped off at the office and some beautiful Tulips a lady left for me. I put them in the Sunroom and maybe this weekend I'll re-pot them. Goofed off and measured for a new garage.
Later tonight, I had stayed on the phone and think I talked too much today, I started bleeding in my throat. It's not a lot of blood though but I don't remember bleeding inside even from the first time. I've increased the dosage of Morphine to 20 mg again. It doesn't stop the pain but I hopefully will back it down enough for some sleep tonight. I keep telling myself... just 1 more time, lol. Tomorrow I graduate!
My outside has stayed a bit better than it was last time but the inside is the bad part. Denise said she saw some puss like bumps formed in some of the locations where the beam is focused. I'm a bit worried about what this will look like next week, that is when what was done this week takes full effect. Even though my throat feels like it's closing off I've never heard of it actually doing that from radiation. I run every once and a while to the Sunroom to breath some Oxygen, seems to make me not feel as much like I'm smothering.
Pain aside, the best way to explain the way my throat feels would be like squeezing one end of a straw almost shut and trying to breathe through it. I weigh in tonight at 193.5 lbs. Good thing I held my weight and avoided a feeding tube. That is after a big breakfast, 2 bowls of cereal, a nice dinner. Drinking cold water is like fire inside and very painful, room temperature feels better but I'm hoping that the coldness will take some of the swelling down a bit. Oddly enough tonight I'm not freezing. Other than an upset stomach the Morphine hasn't had none of the bad side effects as it did the last time.
We saw a man that we've seldom seen this morning. He is a thin, tall man in what appears to be his 60s. He told me how much he weighed, I forget now, but he has lost even more than me. He has i think something like 7 more to go. His neck is completely black. Although nice, he wasn't very pleased with his treatments and how they had went. The man and his wife (he goes before me) has prostrate cancer. His wife said that after the machine tore up either Monday or Tuesday (it's stayed tore up this week) that he has a burnt black ban around his mid section and another spot, according to his wife. While he remains in good humor, his wife said he was in excruciating pain from the burn. The others that were missing are still missing and still on break. I pray they are doing good. The lady that has throat and mouth cancer we pretty much know that her white blood cells dropped. The guy with the beard didn't show again today. The young man with the two small children... we have no clue.
Just ONE more, that is what I think about tonight. Just One more. I know that this will continue for a week, maybe two, but then it should get better. Friday we meet with Dr Panella. I pray we get good news. I may, if Denise's time will allow, get another IV when we go. I've drank a lot of water but the hydration through the IV makes me feel so much better. I look around at all the things I need to fix, all the things I need to do and hope that by getting them done I can regain some of my strength back. Funny, I got that flat belly I've always wanted but it came without the rough looking 6 pack muscles, lol.
For my friends I've made that are still going through this, should we not see each other again:
Everything was out of my system and I went by the office for the first time in a long time. I was headed for Morristown to order a garage door when the break through pain hit, so I headed back home. I brought a gift that Al and Carol had dropped off at the office and some beautiful Tulips a lady left for me. I put them in the Sunroom and maybe this weekend I'll re-pot them. Goofed off and measured for a new garage.
Later tonight, I had stayed on the phone and think I talked too much today, I started bleeding in my throat. It's not a lot of blood though but I don't remember bleeding inside even from the first time. I've increased the dosage of Morphine to 20 mg again. It doesn't stop the pain but I hopefully will back it down enough for some sleep tonight. I keep telling myself... just 1 more time, lol. Tomorrow I graduate!
My outside has stayed a bit better than it was last time but the inside is the bad part. Denise said she saw some puss like bumps formed in some of the locations where the beam is focused. I'm a bit worried about what this will look like next week, that is when what was done this week takes full effect. Even though my throat feels like it's closing off I've never heard of it actually doing that from radiation. I run every once and a while to the Sunroom to breath some Oxygen, seems to make me not feel as much like I'm smothering.
Pain aside, the best way to explain the way my throat feels would be like squeezing one end of a straw almost shut and trying to breathe through it. I weigh in tonight at 193.5 lbs. Good thing I held my weight and avoided a feeding tube. That is after a big breakfast, 2 bowls of cereal, a nice dinner. Drinking cold water is like fire inside and very painful, room temperature feels better but I'm hoping that the coldness will take some of the swelling down a bit. Oddly enough tonight I'm not freezing. Other than an upset stomach the Morphine hasn't had none of the bad side effects as it did the last time.
We saw a man that we've seldom seen this morning. He is a thin, tall man in what appears to be his 60s. He told me how much he weighed, I forget now, but he has lost even more than me. He has i think something like 7 more to go. His neck is completely black. Although nice, he wasn't very pleased with his treatments and how they had went. The man and his wife (he goes before me) has prostrate cancer. His wife said that after the machine tore up either Monday or Tuesday (it's stayed tore up this week) that he has a burnt black ban around his mid section and another spot, according to his wife. While he remains in good humor, his wife said he was in excruciating pain from the burn. The others that were missing are still missing and still on break. I pray they are doing good. The lady that has throat and mouth cancer we pretty much know that her white blood cells dropped. The guy with the beard didn't show again today. The young man with the two small children... we have no clue.
Just ONE more, that is what I think about tonight. Just One more. I know that this will continue for a week, maybe two, but then it should get better. Friday we meet with Dr Panella. I pray we get good news. I may, if Denise's time will allow, get another IV when we go. I've drank a lot of water but the hydration through the IV makes me feel so much better. I look around at all the things I need to fix, all the things I need to do and hope that by getting them done I can regain some of my strength back. Funny, I got that flat belly I've always wanted but it came without the rough looking 6 pack muscles, lol.
For my friends I've made that are still going through this, should we not see each other again:
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
1-19-2010
Just two more to go! There were a lot of new faces in radiation today as students were there. They were all nice and chipper. The ones that have had to take a break still aren't back, I pray they are all ok.
I'm down to two small meals now and I think I have it down just how to do it. Oral balance biotene and the spray biotene, Lidocane, and some Morphine. That usually allows me a slow, soft eat... just have to watch getting choked.
After treatment today I met with Dr Green. He looked in my throat and on the outside of my throat. He said that if I weren't as close as I am that he would recommend taking a break, but since I was this close it was my decision. I told him I needed 1 Valium (part of the cocktail) to complete Thursday's treatment. He prescribed me 2. Those are definitely not my favorite but they chill me out and eventually knock me out, lol. With just 2 treatments left more I'm going for it.
After getting choked on a pill this morning, seems like it took miles to get it to release, and then again tonight, I'm going back to the Liquid Morphine. Funny how pain can overcome fear. I'm still doing the Miracle Mouthwash twice a day. Me and Charlie hit Shoney's breakfast bar again. That has become a staple. That will be the only thing I'll miss when this stuff is over, the talks and eating with Charlie.
Denise has kept the maiderm on my neck pretty constant and I am running 2 cool mist humidifiers and 1 warm mist humidifier. Tonight before bed I will take the liquid Morphine, 20 mg so I can get some sleep. That is becoming a rare item. I sleep until I feel the pain in my mouth and throat from the dryness and cracking, wake up and use the biotene spray and oral balance and attempt to go back to sleep. When that fails I resort to the liquid Morphine. That will usually buy me at least a couple of hours.
The swelling inside has left ear referred pain, odd, it was the right, but nowhere near the extent of the right. Then again, I am wearing a pain patch.
I went to start my car today and the battery was dead so I decided to once again drive to Sears, bought a new battery and then it started, lol. I went to Lowes, TSC, a couple of car parts places, right up until I got tired and came home. It was nice to get out. Funny thing was, the cheapest vehicle we have had to boost my everyday car, lol. We looked once again at Denise's Mountaineer, it overheated again. Watched some American Idol and now it's bed time.
Come Friday when Denise and me go to see Dr. Panella, hopefully I can say I am done with radiation.
I'm down to two small meals now and I think I have it down just how to do it. Oral balance biotene and the spray biotene, Lidocane, and some Morphine. That usually allows me a slow, soft eat... just have to watch getting choked.
After treatment today I met with Dr Green. He looked in my throat and on the outside of my throat. He said that if I weren't as close as I am that he would recommend taking a break, but since I was this close it was my decision. I told him I needed 1 Valium (part of the cocktail) to complete Thursday's treatment. He prescribed me 2. Those are definitely not my favorite but they chill me out and eventually knock me out, lol. With just 2 treatments left more I'm going for it.
After getting choked on a pill this morning, seems like it took miles to get it to release, and then again tonight, I'm going back to the Liquid Morphine. Funny how pain can overcome fear. I'm still doing the Miracle Mouthwash twice a day. Me and Charlie hit Shoney's breakfast bar again. That has become a staple. That will be the only thing I'll miss when this stuff is over, the talks and eating with Charlie.
Denise has kept the maiderm on my neck pretty constant and I am running 2 cool mist humidifiers and 1 warm mist humidifier. Tonight before bed I will take the liquid Morphine, 20 mg so I can get some sleep. That is becoming a rare item. I sleep until I feel the pain in my mouth and throat from the dryness and cracking, wake up and use the biotene spray and oral balance and attempt to go back to sleep. When that fails I resort to the liquid Morphine. That will usually buy me at least a couple of hours.
The swelling inside has left ear referred pain, odd, it was the right, but nowhere near the extent of the right. Then again, I am wearing a pain patch.
I went to start my car today and the battery was dead so I decided to once again drive to Sears, bought a new battery and then it started, lol. I went to Lowes, TSC, a couple of car parts places, right up until I got tired and came home. It was nice to get out. Funny thing was, the cheapest vehicle we have had to boost my everyday car, lol. We looked once again at Denise's Mountaineer, it overheated again. Watched some American Idol and now it's bed time.
Come Friday when Denise and me go to see Dr. Panella, hopefully I can say I am done with radiation.
Monday, January 18, 2010
1-18-10
Well after another laxative I think I'm cleaned out. Just how much weight this and the soreness of my throat has cost me we will find out tomorrow, when I see Dr Green.
Yesterday's subject wasn't too pleasant to write about and probably not too pleasant to read either, but it had to be wrote to be honest. One pain pills you will get constipated and or impacted if you do not watch out. I learned this when I had my shoulder surgery and that was one reason I avoided pain pills as quick as I could. I should have continued to monitor myself during this but I slipped up and didn't continue to monitor as closely.
I have only three treatments left but it is unclear if I can do them. Between the ones of us in the waiting room we know know that the ones missing are on "vacation" again to heal up. The lady with mouth and throat cancer had another chemo and between that and radiation her white blood cell count bottomed, like mine did a while back. She and the others are in my prayers again tonight.
My inside of my throat is still cracking open due to the lack of saliva and swallowing is all but impossible from the swelling. Drinking cold water or tea is excruciating but then again I have always heard that cold takes the swelling down. I do however drink at room temperature frequently to try and keep hydrated. I'm tempted to ask for another IV.
The skin is already sloughing off on the phone when I talk on it... nasty. We've used the radiation cream religiously but it seems not enough. The left side of my throat is the worse, it has even caused pain in the left ear which I know from the tumor swelling, pain radiates to the ear because of the nerve in there close that the swelling outs pressure on. I tried the Sore Throat Spray that I used before I knew I had cancer, don't even think of doing that, lol.
My gag reflexes have diminished to once again getting choked on my own spit, what little I have of it. The saliva is extremely thick and so I keep, as I always have, an empty water bottle to spit in. This time it has a greenish tinge, not sure what that means if anything. This stuff is so think you can't see through it.
On a positive note, I have had to shave my sideburns twice now, could probably stand another right now, lol. They are 100% correct on my beard though, the hair follicles are burnt out so I will never be able to grow a beard again. Of course that also means not having to shave either, lol.
I watered the plants in the Sunroom today and moved a couple of the banana plants that weren't ding so well around. While I was out there I took a few breaths of oxygen from the tank I brought back here from the old pet store I had. Physically it may or may not help, but mentally it does. I looked at the tail lights that Bill wired up for me yesterday on Big Ugly, he done a good job. Other than that though, I've slept. That could have been in part the Morphine. Funny how enough pain will get you over your fears.
Being this close to done I hope Green will allow me to finish and maybe give me some tips on breathing and swallowing. I know from what I was told that what they do today continues to work for one to two weeks later, so I maybe in trouble. When I first started this blog I had hoped to be able to write all good stuff and for it to have a happy ending, I'm still hopeful of the happy ending.
Yesterday's subject wasn't too pleasant to write about and probably not too pleasant to read either, but it had to be wrote to be honest. One pain pills you will get constipated and or impacted if you do not watch out. I learned this when I had my shoulder surgery and that was one reason I avoided pain pills as quick as I could. I should have continued to monitor myself during this but I slipped up and didn't continue to monitor as closely.
I have only three treatments left but it is unclear if I can do them. Between the ones of us in the waiting room we know know that the ones missing are on "vacation" again to heal up. The lady with mouth and throat cancer had another chemo and between that and radiation her white blood cell count bottomed, like mine did a while back. She and the others are in my prayers again tonight.
My inside of my throat is still cracking open due to the lack of saliva and swallowing is all but impossible from the swelling. Drinking cold water or tea is excruciating but then again I have always heard that cold takes the swelling down. I do however drink at room temperature frequently to try and keep hydrated. I'm tempted to ask for another IV.
The skin is already sloughing off on the phone when I talk on it... nasty. We've used the radiation cream religiously but it seems not enough. The left side of my throat is the worse, it has even caused pain in the left ear which I know from the tumor swelling, pain radiates to the ear because of the nerve in there close that the swelling outs pressure on. I tried the Sore Throat Spray that I used before I knew I had cancer, don't even think of doing that, lol.
My gag reflexes have diminished to once again getting choked on my own spit, what little I have of it. The saliva is extremely thick and so I keep, as I always have, an empty water bottle to spit in. This time it has a greenish tinge, not sure what that means if anything. This stuff is so think you can't see through it.
On a positive note, I have had to shave my sideburns twice now, could probably stand another right now, lol. They are 100% correct on my beard though, the hair follicles are burnt out so I will never be able to grow a beard again. Of course that also means not having to shave either, lol.
I watered the plants in the Sunroom today and moved a couple of the banana plants that weren't ding so well around. While I was out there I took a few breaths of oxygen from the tank I brought back here from the old pet store I had. Physically it may or may not help, but mentally it does. I looked at the tail lights that Bill wired up for me yesterday on Big Ugly, he done a good job. Other than that though, I've slept. That could have been in part the Morphine. Funny how enough pain will get you over your fears.
Being this close to done I hope Green will allow me to finish and maybe give me some tips on breathing and swallowing. I know from what I was told that what they do today continues to work for one to two weeks later, so I maybe in trouble. When I first started this blog I had hoped to be able to write all good stuff and for it to have a happy ending, I'm still hopeful of the happy ending.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
1-16-17 - 10
I'm trying to tell this and at the same time be tactful and not gross. This will be hard to do.
For the last few days I've been hurting in my back and hip area. Saturday we headed out to a man who was suppose to have a 16 ft garage door for sale. We got there and he didn't have it. We went to Sams and bought some supplies and from there went to Shoney's. It was getting late by then and we come on home. All the while I kept this pain in y back and hips that I had for the last few days.
I felt the need to use the bathroom but again to no avail only this time unbelievable pain and pressure set in. I had taken some things that were suppose to make your bowels move with no results, so I tried them again. Denise suggested a suppository but I was so impacted it would not go in. By now I was bleeding out my rear end and in some bad pain plus sick at my stomach. The pressure had built so great that setting up was painful.
There was enough pain that I overcame my fear old the Morphine and took some. I manually dug out what I could, a slow process but it seemed to be getting nowhere. By this time though I was bleeding out my rectum. I was able to use the suppository but it didn't work, actually I tried a couple. I asked Denise to get me an Enema from Food City. I remembered a friend telling me his mom had to use these on his dad when he had cancer and was on the pain meds.
She brought me one back and I read it and asked her to help, it said two people were better than one at it. She refused to help so I was on my own. I done the directions as best I could and fell asleep on the floor in the bathroom from exhaustion of the whole ordeal which had gone on for hours prior to this. I laid 2 old towels down on the tile which I took a blow dryer that did heat the tile up enough to not be as uncomfortable. About an hour later I awoke and a little moved. So after that I repeated the process, fell asleep again and more moved very painfully. The instruction said most if not all of the liquid in the bottle should be placed inside yet both time I was only able to place about 1/8 in.
I went back to the cabinet and took yet another dose of Morphine, ran a hot tub of water and soaked. I also got some kind of pill that is suppose to relax you (one of the ones I take for the treatment). When I got out I took and done a 3rd one this time getting maybe 1/4 or a little more in. I laid there prepared for the wait and it came fast. It was one of those pains that make you want to throw up, but out came a lot. Once it was over, the pain lessened, but I was exhausted. I took a bath and went to bed.
Later this morning Denise fixed me a pancake, I ate about 1/2, and mixed some of the laxative later on. More came out then than last night. I believe I had become impacted from days of not being able to use the bathroom.
I've slept on and off all day today and kept on the Morphine. I'm still sore and it is still hard to set up or place any pressure on my rear end. I still think there are more left, but maybe I'm wrong... sure hope so. I am almost tempted to try another enema but doing these on your own are very hard to do.
The outside of my throat is showing the same attributes as the last time when I ended up in the hospital. It will be a race to see if 4 more treatments can be done without another break. this could explain where the ones missing are.
For the last few days I've been hurting in my back and hip area. Saturday we headed out to a man who was suppose to have a 16 ft garage door for sale. We got there and he didn't have it. We went to Sams and bought some supplies and from there went to Shoney's. It was getting late by then and we come on home. All the while I kept this pain in y back and hips that I had for the last few days.
I felt the need to use the bathroom but again to no avail only this time unbelievable pain and pressure set in. I had taken some things that were suppose to make your bowels move with no results, so I tried them again. Denise suggested a suppository but I was so impacted it would not go in. By now I was bleeding out my rear end and in some bad pain plus sick at my stomach. The pressure had built so great that setting up was painful.
There was enough pain that I overcame my fear old the Morphine and took some. I manually dug out what I could, a slow process but it seemed to be getting nowhere. By this time though I was bleeding out my rectum. I was able to use the suppository but it didn't work, actually I tried a couple. I asked Denise to get me an Enema from Food City. I remembered a friend telling me his mom had to use these on his dad when he had cancer and was on the pain meds.
She brought me one back and I read it and asked her to help, it said two people were better than one at it. She refused to help so I was on my own. I done the directions as best I could and fell asleep on the floor in the bathroom from exhaustion of the whole ordeal which had gone on for hours prior to this. I laid 2 old towels down on the tile which I took a blow dryer that did heat the tile up enough to not be as uncomfortable. About an hour later I awoke and a little moved. So after that I repeated the process, fell asleep again and more moved very painfully. The instruction said most if not all of the liquid in the bottle should be placed inside yet both time I was only able to place about 1/8 in.
I went back to the cabinet and took yet another dose of Morphine, ran a hot tub of water and soaked. I also got some kind of pill that is suppose to relax you (one of the ones I take for the treatment). When I got out I took and done a 3rd one this time getting maybe 1/4 or a little more in. I laid there prepared for the wait and it came fast. It was one of those pains that make you want to throw up, but out came a lot. Once it was over, the pain lessened, but I was exhausted. I took a bath and went to bed.
Later this morning Denise fixed me a pancake, I ate about 1/2, and mixed some of the laxative later on. More came out then than last night. I believe I had become impacted from days of not being able to use the bathroom.
I've slept on and off all day today and kept on the Morphine. I'm still sore and it is still hard to set up or place any pressure on my rear end. I still think there are more left, but maybe I'm wrong... sure hope so. I am almost tempted to try another enema but doing these on your own are very hard to do.
The outside of my throat is showing the same attributes as the last time when I ended up in the hospital. It will be a race to see if 4 more treatments can be done without another break. this could explain where the ones missing are.
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