In The Beginning

   Throughout 2009, actually in late 2008, I kept getting colds and what seemed to be flu. Something should have lit up lights in my head when I got choked on 2 herbal pills I had taken for years. I just brushed it off because I dry swallowed it as I usually did. My throat was ripped so bad though it bled for a week, give or take.

  I ended up with a swore throat bronchial pneumonia. The doctor I went to thought it was my heart since I smoked heavily (2+ packs), ate what I wanted to, and had a heart attack prior. A Heart cath was preformed which proved as I had stated to her and her nurses, I was clean. Antibiotics were administered. It cleared all but my throat, but it did seem to improve it a little.

  Later that year I went to the family Physician. Some meds and very little change. This went on a few times only in the end, my right inner ear was killing me. Play special attention to that one. Each time less desired results were obtained.

    Finally I had had enough, so I had my wife arrange to get me into a Pulmonolgist. Now this wasn't a total loss, he did X-Ray my lungs, something that would be later used. Again though, offtrack with a sleep study. I was to wait two weeks until he returned from vacation to possibly do a sleep study. This is the only doctor I worry about since he is monetarily tied into the sleep study program. 

   By this time I was getting 2-3 hours of sleep a night, not all at once either. I was tired and cranky. My breathing was labored and my gag reflexes were diminishing. I would sometimes cough or sneeze up some blood, but rarely. I did however sneeze and cough up some rotted looking meat, and the frequency was intensifying.

   It was near this time I read a quote from an old Indian Chief that began to make sense in a very scary way. "It is easy to be brave... from a distance." 

   You see, I had been brave from a distance most of my life. People would say "Those smokes will kill you". My response was things I now revere as pure ignorance. Stuff like, well at least I'll know what'll get me. OR Somethings gotta get ya. There is where wisdom comes in. I now have attained the wisdom to know that these statement are stupid. I now know I wasn't  looking like a big man. I now know that these are the words of an addict. I now know these are the words of a loser. If you so chose to read on, you will see why. If not, keep telling yourself you sound and look cool, just let me know where your blog like this is or will be.