09-28-2010

Been a few days since my last post. As it gets better the posts will be fewer. I've finally caught the cold, flu, or whatever that sinus/throat/chest thing going around is. I guess I done well to avoid it this long. One thing is for sure, at least I felt good enough to know I feel bad. Just to keep it on a positive.

Next week will be week two and my stitches will be out of my finger, and the toe stays put so I'm not stepping on it anymore, lol. I'm debating on taking the stitches out myself. One though is weird looking, so maybe not. I didn't realize that I had removed that much of the side of the fingernail with it. Minor though. It'll heal.

So, my hair is still a bit curly and what isn't has body to it, but it's slowly going back thin in front and straight as a stick. It was nice while it lasted.

As for swallowing, I still sometimes get things stuck and sometimes, though less than ever, they head up my nose. There is an art to getting that dislodged without aspirating, it becomes a timing thing. Strange what one gets use to. Over a slight period of time I can eat more and more spicier foods with my throat, just don't like re-eating it with acid reflux. I still will not go near a Coke. I do however drink Mt Dews now, also not a good thing.

Next week I have the Cat Scan on my lungs, something that was suppose to be done when they scanned my throat and brain but failed to do, lack of communication. Hopefully this virus/flu/whatever will be long gone. The reason given was this type and location of cancer they say follows a tree? Head, throat, lungs. Hopefully that tree is burnt clean.

The latest blood work shows my thyroid Gland still within normal range, which is shocking, but gladly accepted. It was suppose to be completely burnt out and now that I have bragged, it probably is, lol.

09-22-2010

Well they say all good things must come to an end... and today they did. I've pushed the limits with this neuropathy in my hands, feet, and to some extend, face... but the hands won, lol. The Chicken Coop was put on temporary hold until Denise got home for the finishing nails to be driven. I mashed the side of my index finger pretty much off, but it was still attached somewhat, so all is good. Now that I felt. I called Denise who said go to Schindler, so I did. Three stitches and part may or may not be able to be saved, but we're gonna try. I have to go back Friday to have the wound checked.

The whole day started that way. Went for blood work and a new lady took 8-10 stabs at a vein. The lady that use to be there, one stick, pretty much painless. I wasn't sure if she was trying to sew me up or draw blood. Then the coop, but the chickens and Guineas are all in there tonight. Then it came time for Megan to get home and off we went to catch the run-a-way Llama. Should I mention it is a stupid one too? Only to be surpassed by my stupidity, lol. After about 15 to 2o acres of walking through the woods, in the fields that were in tall grass and very unlevel, the numbing wore off my finger. The thought crossed my mind about then. I have to see where I'm stepping, couldn't do that there. Heart rate up and I think I grew another heart beat in my finger. Not once but three times we walked it back over, and at times ran. This thing should in a Marathon. So we gave up. Now tonight I'm typing with basically one finger, usually I use two.

09-19-2010

  Update. I still haven't started the throat cancer blog yet but I'm thinking calling it Head & Neck Cancer Blog. Thoughts anyone?

  Things are going decent. I still wear down easily but I'm working at stamina. I've kept busy working on the Chicken Coop, so far, it's took far longer than I use to be able to build it, have to take a lot of breaks. Speaking of breaks, broke one toe so far, lol. Not exactly sure how or when. It could have been carrying the 2x4s of the few times I've about fell off the ladder. Thought I'd broke my thumb but I think I just bruised the bone, it still works. This is when having neuropathy really helps, lol. It does hurt some when I step on the toe, lol.

  My hair is still curly. I wouldn't mind if it stayed that way. My saliva glands are trying to work, but not quite there yet. I'm still using a funky looking hat and sunscreen on my neck. At this stage there are good and bad days but the good days are beginning to equal the bad ones and that is a good thing. Before you know it they will pass the bad days. I'm working on building back strength and muscle. Muscle was the first thing to go. My voice comes and goes for better or worse. I watch spicy foods, and most that I use to eat that I thought wasn't spicy is now.

  I've attempted to stabilize my weight, note the word attempted, lol. As my taste slowly comes back I eat more and more. Still no (you might want to set down on this one) Dr Peppers. I do like the Throwback Mt Dews though.

  I never thought I'd be here at this time last year. Then I wondered how I would be if I was here. I'm back to getting sweaty and dirty... love that. I see what ramifications this has had and the toll it took on not just me, but my family, friends, house, and farm. I have so very much to do. I went up on the farm this weekend and didn't recognize it, weeds were everywhere. That will take a while to get back into shape. When the heat dies back a bit and I'm done with the coop, I really need to bushhog the farm badly. The cows all greeted me, a bit too much, lol. I got licked and butted, knocked down and loved. They haven't seen me but once in a year, but they remembered me. The work to be done looks overwhelming now and I wonder how I done all that before, yet I pray I will be able to do it again. It is nice to be needed. I thank God for everyday.

  I know there are a few that read this, especially one, that has the same kind or similar throat cancer I had and in the same stage. Have faith. Have faith in God, in your ability to heal through the ones that God has brought you to and surrounded you with. Bear in mind that it is up to Him and that you are not being punished, tested, or anything else. Win or lose, fight the good fight, but never walk alone. That is our choice. We can fight and ask for help, or fight alone. I have no idea why I am breathing, that is two cancers and a heart attack. Live, love, laugh, each day as if it were your last. We are all dieing from that first breathe we take in this world. Some of us are blessed enough to realize it.



         

09-17-2010

Goofed off yesterday. I think all the small activity got to me a bit. I woke up about 5am in the Den, with a headache, lol. Caffeine headache, maybe, forgot to do that yesterday. Maybe today wire in the Coop, should have done that yesterday. Need to build the door too. Funny, I am use to doing and doing and now I do some then pay for it a couple of days... but I'm working on building back. Frustration.

  This part is hard to grasp. I've always been a workaholic and now? That causes anxiety and sometimes depression. Physically though, other than the occasional throat swelling and hard to breathe at times, I'm guessing from the narrowed throat from the radiation scars inside, I'm good. I still have to watch colds and shake at someone sneezing... and there seems to be a lot of people doing just that along with coughing, So I avoid being in close public situations. I love how someone will sneeze in their hand then offer to shake, lol.

  Dentyne gum for some reason helps the saliva glands to try and work. Strange. If I could only find it without Aspartame in it. Seems I trade one bad thing for another on that. It does get me through a store shopping thing without carrying water or some kind of liquid.

  Well, we will see what today brings, challenge or conquest.         

08-14-2010

  I'm slow but building steam a little each day. The Bactrim stopped tonight, last pill. Thank God, I almost always got choked on that one every time I did it. Much to Denise's surprise I've been climbing a ladder to work on the top of the new Chicken Coop. Just about 2 years ago I could have had it done in 2 weekends, I have worked on it 3 weeks (but not every day). I still ain't half way done yet, lol. With the neuropathy I just watch which step I'm on, think I may have broken a toe today, oh well, it'll heal. I still have that Godfather sounding voice but it does really well at the start of the day. As I speak though I slowly lose it and go right back to Marlon Brando.

  My weight is back...too much back, lol. My hair is still curly but the front has thinned back out again. I'm tired a lot, but I guess that goes along with it. Those who have read this from the beginning know that this in minor. I still have a lot of muscles to build back.  

09-09-2010

  It Friday... well that use to mean something, lol. I've spent the week healing up a bit. It would seem that the sunblock wore off quicker than I expected. My neck has hurt like no other up until today. Like a hot iron had been placed all around it. It took about 3 days to get my energy back, bear in mind though that is with a nasty sinus infection, so I figure that I have done good.

I've played with the new Chicken Coop, and I do mean played, lol. It isn't much farther along that it was when I started. It's a new experience climbing a ladder with neuropathy, but I've done it... so far. They are going to feel like the Beverly Hillbillies when they get to move in it. We went Monday to the First Monday and bought 5 new laying hens and 9 Guineas, spent almost 100 bucks. I think buying eggs at the store would be cheaper, then again, the Salmonella thing... maybe not. I got the Tobacco sticks picked up out of the garden and piled up on a pallet for next year's use. Soon it will be time to plant the Garlic.

  Kim came up with a good idea and I am planning on getting a FaceBook started on cancer. It will focus on Head & Neck cancer. Maybe it will help someone. I started it out then I forget what got me sidetracked. I at least have something to blame the brain functions on now, chemo. Before it was just called scatter-brained. 

Spent today goofing off. I talked with Megan's councilors at school and we have that worked out. They were more than receptive. Thanks to Dale and Terry for pointing out things I didn't think about and when I presented it to them, they hadn't thought about that either. So now Megan will have notes, either from a teacher or a student and anything on TV will be played with Closed Caption. If CC isn't available then she will get notes on what she just watched. I had not thought about how hard it would be reading lips and trying to write down notes. Thank you Dale and Terry.   

  Most of the fingernails and toes nails have grown out of the dead ring in them. I've gained weight from the steroids. The neuropathy still rages. The chemo brain or chemo fog is still very active. I still have a hard time swallowing most times and certain things are off limits due to pain. That includes sun. The hissing in my ears is a bit less. The energy level is slowly coming back, but when I hit that wall, I hit hard. I worried, though I didn't mention it, about getting back home safely on our ride. If I went down and it was just me wouldn't be so bad but with Denise on there, that was scary. I wouldn't want to harm her. Overall I think I am slowly getting there.

09-05-2010

We finally went on a decent bike ride to The Pinnacle in Cumberland Gap. man was it pretty. We rode with Missy & Richard, and Dale and Anna. Funny, all three were Kawasaki Vulcans. That was a well needed ride for both Denise and me. My butt is sore, lol. Coming back though I hid a wall again, only this time a massive headache, pretty much a Migraine. I started with it this morning and it still is raging. I've taken two Tylenol for the pain. Man it is good to use that again instead of the hard stuff. I just can't figure out how to build back my stamina... but I will, lol. I've pretty much just laid here tonight.

I know, we look Wild Hogs, lol

  There is a benefit ride for Chad, he too has cancer, Proceeds from that ride go to him. 15.00 per bike, even with 2 people on it.  

09-03-2010 Follow-up with Dr. Rathfoot

Today was the follow-up with Dr Rathfoot. He scoped me on both sides and was pleased with what he saw. He sees no cancer there and the injections were successful. In two months I got back again and if the remaining parts that are still swollen he will do injection in those areas. He said he couldn't inject all that was swollen because it would have created too much swelling and closed my throat off. He also found I have a sinus infection and I still have some infection from the ventilator.

He talked more about the surgery and said what I did not see was the equipment for a tracheotomy setting behind my bed. Dr Rathfoot said that what has happened is nothing short of a Miracle from God. He says that faith is what has made a huge difference in my case. Good attitude, and a lot of faith in God. He leaves out himself and the other doctors who I think played a large role in this. I could have went to many doctors but God chose these doctors and nurses to send me to, and instilled the knowledge to do great things. That and the ones like Kim who I could not have went without her guidance. Then there are my family and friends (both new and old). The churches having me on their prayer lists. The radio station I began to listen to, 106.9 The Light. It all seemed to click with guided hands as I believe it was. Everybody done the P.U.S.H. Pray Until Something Happens, and it worked.

There is collateral damage that I will have to work through, but that is to be expected. I think I have grown some from this, God I hope so. I know that I deserved none of the good things and all the bad. There is a humbling that a person reaches... and that ain't a bad thing. By all rights I should have been dead a long time ago, yet I'm not. Now if I can just figure out what I am suppose to do, why I am still here.

I will continue the blog until I get a clean bill of health and the side effects are gone. I would like to thank all of you who prayed and had positive thoughts, gave me advice, worked on me, and stood by me, even when I did not stand by myself. I would like to ask one more favor. It is a man who's name was not disclosed ad has cancer just like mine. If you would remember him in your prayers tonight as I will. To help him heal, have faith in God, be positive, and be strong.